Posts Tagged ‘daily mail’
Daily Mail races to spot the first person to die in 2015
2015 will much like 2014 for at least one Daily Mail reader.
The race is on to the first human to have ’til 2015′ etched on a gravestone:
Daily Mail
Spotter: @EstherGreeny
Daily Mail story on foreign nurses is utter balls
News in the Daily Mail of nurses and foreigners: come over here, saving our lives:
The truth, you will not all surprised to learn, is somewhat different.
The Health and Social Care Information Service (HSCIS) notes:
Of all the joiners with a known nationality between April 2013 to April 2014, 20.8 per cent (6,704 out of 32,251) were non-British; Similarly, of all the joiners with a known nationality between September 2013 to September 2014, 22.0 per cent (7,449 out of 33,838) were non-British.
Such are the facts…
The
Posted: 19th, December 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Daily Mail advertises for Portuguese builders
The Daily Mail has news:
If you didn’t know better, you’d be excused for thinking the Mail was illustrating why immigration works.
As for builders, well…
Posted: 9th, December 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Daily Mail sexism: Kate Moss’ knees are ‘cursed by Voldemort’, Madonna and Demi Moore wear Satan’s skin
BREAKING NEWS in the Daily Mail: Harry Wallop notes:
BREAKING. Kate Moss’s knees have been ‘cursed by Voldemort’. Daily Mail has the scoop.
Previously, the Mail has highlighted the aging process on…
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Posted: 3rd, December 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment
A Daily Mail History Of The Great British Sandwich
The Daily Mail aks a question about the Great British Sandwich:
Rightly, the death of the Great British sandwich (surely the hungry editor’s yell as a headline – ed) has been highlighted by the paper of record. A Great British traditional is being undone by foreigners.
Let’s take a look at the Great British sandwich in history.
The Inventor:
Earl of Sandwich John Montagu, who is a direct descendent of the inventor of the sandwich, poses for members of the media during the opening of his first hot sandwich bar, in central London, Monday April 18, 2011. (AP Photo/Lefteris Pitarakis)
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Posted: 10th, November 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)
Spurs Balls: Useless Adebayor And Weak Pochettino Make One Man Dream Of ‘Man’s Man’ Tim Sherwood
SPURS Balls: The Daily Mail’s Neil Ashton has been talking about Adebayor:
At White Hart Lane on Sunday, Mauricio Pochettino has to make the biggest decision of his short career as head coach of Tottenham: Emmanuel Adebayor cannot play. The striker’s lack of commitment at Villa Park last Sunday, when he was dragged off after 58 minutes, was not just an affront to his team-mates, it was an insult to the sport itself. For Pochettino to make his mark at Spurs, to show the players that he really is the boss, Adebayor cannot be in that team to face Stoke City.
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Posted: 5th, November 2014 | In: Sports, Spurs | Comment (1)
Rurik Jutting: ‘The Wind in the Willows’ Killer ‘Confesses’ To Being An Educated Banker
RURIK Jutting is accused of murdering two women in Hong Kong. The dead women are Sumarti Ningsih, 25, and Jesse Lorena, 32.
The media round-up, focusing on Rurik Jutting, who “appears to have mysteriously quit his job in the days around the first murder” (Mail).
The Sun: “I’ve been taken by the devil”. The paper produces the above image and quote.
EMAILS to the Brit banker charged with murdering two prostitutes get the reply: “Please contact someone who is not an insane psychopath.” Ex-public schoolboy Rurik Jutting, 29, faces magistrates today over the double killing.
The prostitutes’ rotting remains were found in his Hong Kong flat, with one stuffed in a case.
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Posted: 3rd, November 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Hands Off In The Box: The Daily Mail’s Campaign That No-One Wants
THE Daily Mail has campaign. It wants readers to:
Join Sportsmail’s Hands Off In The Box campaign by parading the logo at matches.
You can just see football fans holding up the Daily Mail’s logo with pride. To date, the only newspaper referenced at football matches is the Sun. Liverpool fans upset over the Sun’s Hillsborough coverage ask fellow fans not to buy it.
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Posted: 29th, October 2014 | In: Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Liverpool Balls: Raheem Sterling Hand Jives With Lions And Mates With A Chair
LIVERPOOL Balls: the Sun continues to hound Raheem Sterling and, by inference, England manager Roy Hodgson, who told the Press that Sterling had not been feeling 100% to start the match in Estonia.
The Sun leads with:
Tired’ Raheem At 3am 3 Lions Party
No. Not leads the sports section. Leads the world news. This is the Sun’s biggest story:
The story is told in bullet points:
– Sunday: Roy says star’s ‘too tired’ to start for England in qualifier
– Monday: Player parties with dwarves, bearded lady, snake and Ox
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Posted: 22nd, October 2014 | In: Liverpool, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Arsenal Take £12m Loss On Mesut Ozil For Not Playing Him In The Middle
TRANSFER Balls: Is Mesut Özil on hio way out of Arsenal?
The Guardian has news:
The Rumour Mill wouldn’t presume to know, but talk elsewhere suggests the German international is fed up with being played out of position by his manager Arsène Wenger and wants to move elsewhere in January. Currently sidelined for up to three months with a knee injury, reports suggest the 25-year-old from Gelsenkirchen could be the subject of a £30m bid from Bayern Munich during the next transfer window.
If he gors the rumours are that the Gunerns will use the cash to buy Real Madrid’s Sami Khedira, Borussia Dortmund’s central defender Mats Hummel, Schalke’s No10 Julian Draxler, Paris Saint-Germain’s Adrien Rabiot keep the cash and sign a few cheap and very talanted youth players who can be trained and then sold to rival clubs?
The Daily Mail says Oxil is off to Bayern Munich for £30million. Ozil joined the Gunners for £42.5million last summer. Will they take huge hit on the player? Seems unlikely. But the Mail says the languid German is keen to leave Arsenal.
The Football Grapevine understands the Germany star has grown increasingly unhappy at the Emirates, not least because he is not being played in his preferred forward floating role by Arsene Wenger.
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Daily Mail Readers Lay Into Malala
Pakistani girls display a poster while sitting at their desk, as their teacher, not shown, talks to them about 14-year-old schoolgirl Malala Yousufzai, who was shot on Tuesday by a Taliban gunman for her role in promoting girls’ education in the Swat Valley where she lives, in a school in Islamabad, Pakistan, Friday, Oct. 12, 2012. A Pakistani military spokesman says Yousufzai is in “satisfactory” condition but cautions that the next few days will be critical. (AP Photo/Muhammed Muheisen)
TOM Pride looks at some comments left by Daily Mail in reaction to news that Malala Yousafzai had won the Nobel Peace Prize:
“Send her back home.”
“How come she’s still here?”
“The UK taxpayer has been stumping up the bill for her to fly around the world.”
“Sick of hearing about her.”
“A joke. She has been awarded a Noble Prize for stopping a bullet?”
“I just find her annoying.”
“Why is she still here?”
“Living off the taxpayer.”
“Praise some British kids for a change.”
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Posted: 11th, October 2014 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)
Cannabis: The Terrible Truth Is That All Users Will Die
TODAY in cannabis news:
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Daily Mail Irony: Emma Watson Wear A White Belted Coat For Women’s Rights
SO. How does the Daily Mail report on Emma Watson’s appearance at a UN sexual equality do? Watson added impetus to the UN’s HeForShe campaign, which aims to involve men in tackling gender inequality and discrimination.
The HeForShe Commitment
Gender equality is not only a women’s issue, it is a human rights issue that requires my participation. I commit to take action against all forms of violence and discrimination faced by women and girls.
So. what did she say?
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Posted: 23rd, September 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Daily Mail Fail: Lovely Typo In Story Blaming Liberals For Ruining Education
THE Daily Mail is outraged at the standards of education. It blames “liberal education dogma” for the lowering of education standards.
The paper invited “teacher and graduate” Sarah Smith to tell readers just how dire it all is. And she knows who to blame.
Yes. It’s the Daily Mail’s sub-editor who failed to spot the typo in the standfirst.
Yes, yes, we all make them – even here at Anorka – but the error at the top of an article about how how the Mail’s liberal enemies ruined the country is choice…
standfirst…
Daily Mail Explains Cloud Technology: ‘It’s Not An Actual Cloud’
THE Daily Mail helps those readers not searching for photos of a naked Jennifer Lawrence “flaunting her curves” by explaining how cloud computing works.
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Manchester United Balls: The Worst Daily Mail Article Ever
ON the subject of Manchester United’s loan deal for Monaco’s Radamel Falcao, the Daily Mail’s Jeff Powell is luminous with rage.
Now we have reached the scandalous point at which clubs the size of United are allowed to borrow leading players for a season or so, then why not for one match?
Answer: Because the rules forbid it, Jeff.
Bastian Schweinsteiger, Arjen Robben, Thiago Silva, and Neymar are among those who have hinted that Old Trafford would be their preferred destination should they ever appear in the Premier League, one day. The way the transfer mania is going it could happen for all of them, for just one day each.
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Posted: 5th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Loom Mongers: The Daily Mail Says Loom Bands Give You Cancer, Kill Turtles And Maim Your Kids
TIME to pick up your iPads and iPods once again, kids, Loom bands are deadly. The Daily Mail tells us that Looms are killing you all:
On August 13: Loom Bands Give You Cancer:
On August 6 Lorraine Candy wailed tht loom bands are “worse than the addictive computer game Minecraft that absorbed them last year”…
Worse than killer computer games! Yes. Beceu loom band wiull kill Gaia.
August 4: Ticking Loom bands are an ‘eco time bomb”:
Know that:
Paul, director of conservation at the National Marine Aquarium in Plymouth, said: ‘Loom bands, like any plastic item, are capable of persisting in the environment for many, many years and there is abundant evidence of small plastic items making their way into the diets of marine animals and seabirds with tragic consequences. ‘I’d be particularly worried about loom bands being taken to the beach as, due to the likelihood of them getting into the sea.’
On July 11, children were being maimed:
And:
What to do? The Mail knows. It’s gong to give them away:
The Daily Mail wants to maim your kids, kill turtles and give you cancer.
Posted: 20th, August 2014 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Angel Di Maria Is Not The World’s First £100m Footballer
TRANSFER Balls: What is Angel Di Maria worth? Is he heading from Real Madrid to Manchester United? The Read Devils do look well-placed to sign the player. But for how much?
Today the Mail leads with news that the Argentiean wanted by United is worth £100m!
He’d be the world’s first £100m footballer. The Mail adds:
It is understood United have told the Argentine that, with performance-based incentives, they will pay him around £200,000 a week. Over a five-year deal that would take United’s investment to £100m when a transfer fee of around £50m is included.
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Posted: 18th, August 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Arsenal Balls: Adrian Durham Is Shouting At Pigeons
THE Daily Mail’s Adrian Durham continues his routine attack on Arsenal with a tour de force. Ignoring facts – many of which are stated in his own paper – Durham focuses on three Arsenal players involved for Germany in the World Cup final. Rumours that Durham rehearses his columns by sitting in the shopping precinct and shouting them at pigeons cannot be ruled out.
This week’s highlights are:
The FA Cup gave the fans a great day out, but seeing Arsenal players win the World Cup is a reality check for Gooners who are letting Wenger get away with it.
After waiting all this time they should demand more. And in fairness to Gooners they do want more. In fact they are so desperate for more, they have hijacked Germany’s World Cup success as some sort of trophy for Arsenal.
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Posted: 19th, July 2014 | In: Arsenal, Sports | Comments (2)
Daily Mail Attacks Manchester City’s Joe Hart And Arsenal’s Jack Wilshere For Following Its Health Tips
England’s Charlton brothers, Jack (l) and Bobby (r), relax at a pre-tournament function
Date: 26/06/1966
HOW football journalism works, with the Daily Mail’s Neil Ashton. Before the World Cup, on May 20, 2014, England were at the Grove Hotel for the Lions and Roses dinner. The charity event hosted by the England Footballers Foundation “raised £362,000 in a night for charity… and even Premier League stars were surprised at that amount of money!”
One bidder paid £10,000 for a round of golf with Manchester City’s Joe Hart and Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney. Ashton notes:
In an era when it is so easy to casually criticise the players, this event, in football parlance, could be described as ‘a leveller’. Every member of that squad, from captain Steven Gerrard and vice-captain Frank Lampard to Southampton trio Adam Lallana, Rickie Lambert and Luke Shaw, understood their roles and responsibilities.
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Posted: 16th, July 2014 | In: Arsenal, Key Posts, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Beer, Oh Happy Produce Of Our Isle – And Good For Us Too!
Inn Keeper Brown, right, 47-year-old ex-service man of an unidentified English village, used the toy gun he is holding to help capture the crew of a German bomber forced down, July 12, 1940. Brown sold a two-weeks supply of beer and all to those who came to listen to the. (AP Photo)
THE Mail brings us the glorious news that beer is actually good for us:
Mine’s a pint: Full of vitamins, high in fibre, low on sugar and good for your hair – the benefits of beer
Beer is being hailed for its health benefits and vitamin levels
Research suggests drinking beer might help prevent Alzheimer’s
Hops have ‘aphrodisiac-like qualities’ and could balance hormones
Contains minerals including phosphorus, iodine, magnesium and potassium
Well, yes, aphrodisiac qualities: who has not suffered from beer goggles at one time or another? But those health effects are quite true and some of us have the bellies to prove that we’ve known this for decades.
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Daily Mail Sexism: Maria Sharapova Is Only There To Support The Men
WIMBLEDON is here. And that means the …TWAGS. Who they? They’re the Tennis (players’) Wives And Girlfriends.
The Mail spots a few of the blonder ones. But – hold on – don’t women play tennis, too? And isn’t that Maria Sharapova, this year’s Number 5 seed and a former Wimbledon champion?
I could be wrong, Daily Mail, but I think Maria Sharapova might not just be going to Wimbledon to cheer on her boyf. pic.twitter.com/8MrCt1PXNh
— Primly Stable (@PrimlyStable) June 23, 2014
It seems that even the Mail has limits to its seism, and soon changes the image, but not the caption:
The Daily Mail: Lifestyle Gives You Cancer
ADD this to the list of things that give Daily Mail readers cancer:
England Fans Drink 17 Pints Each Watching World Cup Defeat
GOOD to see that in this age of electronic journalism, the Daily Mail hacks are keeping their bottoms up in the pub.
The report on England’s defeat to Italy in the World Cup includes a great statistic:
A million England supporters packed into 32,000 late-opening pubs for 11pm kick-off, drinking 17.5million pints
Admittedly, 17.5 pints a head is bellow optimum drinking capacity. But it encouraging:
