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Sports news, sport betting, featuring football and Premier League teams, players from Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester United. And David Beckham. Rugby World Cup. Backpage stories from the newspapers and BBC sport

All Guns Leaving

‘READING today’s headlines, you’d be excused for thinking that Arsenal are cashing in and putting up the closed signs.

The England pack weigh in

The Express says that Leeds United want the Gunners’ Sylvain Wiltord plus £3m in cash to see that Harry Kewell heads to Highbury.

The Star leads with the news that ”Now Real Want Vieira”. The ”Now” seems a little unnecessary given that for the past three years Real Madrid have been in hot pursuit of the Arsenal captain.

And inside the Express, which seems to have a hotline to the Arsenal camp, readers learn that Barcelona, still sore from losing out on the David Beckham deal, are targeting Thierry Henry.

We also hear in the same paper that Robert Pires, who will captain France tonight as they play Japan, is wanted by Valencia and, yep, you guessed it, Real.

As Arsenal turn into a feeder club for the big Spanish outfits, the Sun takes a look at the warm-up for England’s rugby union match against the Australians.

And it sees Irish referee David McHugh in the centre of a ”protocol row”.

On the eve of the kick off, McHugh will be the guest of the Australian Rugby Union at Melbourne’s Savoy Ballroom.

It seems the Aussies are pulling out all the stops to make sure their boys can swan it over the Poms for a while longer.

It’s just a shame that Lennox Lewis is too busy to be drafted into the English pack. How we would thrill to the sight of Lennox showing Nathan Jones what a flying punch really looks like.

But we must not wish for such things. Violence is only part of sport when it is within the rules. And Lewis will legally use his fists in Saturday’s bout with the dangerous Vitali Klitschko.

The Mail calls the Ukrainian challenger a ”plodding behemoth”, a hulking robot who looks more like the ”tragic monster in the ring than Dr Frankenstein in the throes of creation”.

Meanwhile, Lennox has ”dancing feet” and ”does not scare easily”.

He sounds not a little unlike Jonny Wilkinson.

Posted: 20th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Skinning The Wallabies

‘BEATING New Zealand at rugby on their own patch was sweet. But there is something sublime about even the idea of smashing the Wallabies.

”Last into the showers is a girl…”

The likes of David Campese, the ‘hand of God’ Australian whose act of pragmatism cost England dear in the 1991 World Cup, are delighting in doing the English team down.

The overwhelming phrase they use in an English context is boring. England are dull. England are a bunch of orcs. England are ugly. If England win, it will be a dark day for rugby.

Well, look to the Heavens boys and those gathering black clouds because England have the best chance of beating the Aussies in an age.

The language from the Australian camp belies fear. They are at home and are expected to win. Unlike in Britain, the Australians breathe sport. Sport is what gives their country so much of its presence in the world.

If the British didn’t play rugby and cricket against them, ask yourself how often the antipodeans would make a British news bulletin?

They need the British because they need competition for the sports in which they undoubtedly excel. And England – who because of cricket bear the brunt of the Aussies’ assault – are too happy to accept the role of loser.

If England win on Saturday, the Australians will take it hard. A nation raised on whingeing Poms – who, in truth, barely utter a whimper as they are smashed to smithereens by McGraths and Gillespies – will be upset by their own whingeing.

It has already begun. Eddie Jones, the Wallaby coach, is playing his get out of jail card.

”It’s really important we have one of the most influential referees in the world and I hope he will be very strict in enforcing the ruck and tackle,” he says.

”If he does that, there will be clean ball for both sides. If he doesn’t, it might be quite an ugly affair.”

Ah, ugly. That would be another reference to England, seen Down Under as the ugliest side ever.

But at least the hosts will show how us to play fair, picking the likes of Nathan Gray at fly-half, a man remembered for his flying elbow which punctured Richard Hill’s head in a Lions match.

They like to play fair do these Aussies. And let’s just hope that when England hit the winning points, they behave like the gentlemen and non-moaners they are.

We can learn a lot from the Aussies. So let’s begin with leaning how to beat them…

Posted: 20th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Looking To The Future

‘ENGLAND have four years before the next World Cup arrives, by which stage the fact that they lost against Pakistan in their first match under Michael Vaughan’s captaincy will be long forgotten.

A welcome sight for England cricket fans

The challenge is to develop a group of players by 2007, all of whom have not only the ability but also the experience to compete with the world’s best.

The match on Tuesday night against Pakistan was just the first step on a long road, during which several names will no doubt fall by the wayside.

There are excuses for such a young side, but the batting was certainly a disappointment, especially after a decent start.

Andrew Flintoff is clearly a much batsman than a late-order slogger and promoting him to No.5 might help in the short term.

However, in the longer term, I suspect that England will have to find another top-order batsman who can bowl if the balance of the side is to be got right.

When Paul Collingwood is fit again, he will no doubt return to the side, but the danger is that England’s middle order will then consist of too many all-rounders and too few specialists.

Where England do look a decent side at the moment is in the bowling department.

Flintoff may not be the most penetrative bowler, but he is very hard to get away, as he demonstrated in the World Cup where he was the most economical of all the bowlers on display.

Darren Gough won’t be around in 2007, but at the moment he is still well worth his place in the side and will help bring along some of the youngsters.

James Anderson looks set to develop into an excellent player for England and will only get better the more games he plays.

Obviously, England will need to win their fair share of games while they are developing. Confidence, after all, is an important ingredient of a successful side.

But in the meantime, there is some truth in the old adage about winning not being as important as how you play the game.

Posted: 19th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Slim Pickings

‘TAKING it as read that the back pages will be about you know who (and if you don’t, how we envy you), we turn to the story that immediately follows.

Another thin excuse for a shot of Daniela Hantuchova

The Sun hears news that Spurs are still in business and that Glenn Hoddle is every bit as popular as he was when in charge of the England team.

Stefan Freund has accused the Spurs manager of lying to him when he said he was part of the team’s plans for next season. And it is an accusation that seems based on some fact, as we read that Freund has been released by Spurs and is now looking for a club.

”It’s clear Hoddle has a problem with man management,” says Freund. ”The players who have gone…are players who say something in the dressing room and he can’t handle that.”

The German does, though, reveal that he shares a common goal with Hoddle’s Spurs, saying, ”My target now is to stay in the Premiership”.

But the main news of the day is that the Mirror has joined the Mail’s campaign to tell the world how thin ”tennis babe” Daniela Hantuchova is.

”It’s a thin line between being fit..and being anorexic,” says the headline, the words attributed to Virginia Wade.

And with no Anna Kournikova to ”Phwoarr!” at, it’s time for another shot of the Slovakian player’s crotch.

It’s a nice touch and shows that, even without Anna around, the sports pages know how to cover woman’s tennis.

Of course, men’s tennis is as strong as a Tim Henman backhand. But it could be stronger, especially if Tiger Tim listens to the words of ”former Wimbledon bad boy” Ilie Nastase.

Speaking to the Express, the Romanian says that if Henman wants to win Wimbledon, he needs to toughen up.

He will need to run around the house naked three times before going to bed, chanting ”I am the Tiger” as he goes.

And he will also need to convince the rest of that he can do it. And that is some job. Come on, Timmy. Grrr!!!!

Posted: 19th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


No Anna

‘TO paraphrase the legendary Sporting Times’ mock ”death of English cricket” headline, we signal the death of women’s tennis.

Good shorts, Daniela – but could you do something about the top?

Burn the bra and put it in small A-cup, this is the day when women’s tennis died.

Anna Kournikova has pulled out of Wimbledon because she has hurt her back. How this crippling injury came about is not known, but it’s unlikely to have involved picking up a championship trophy or leaping the net in triumph.

In other sports the loss of the world’s 77th best – and falling – player would be a mere blip on the radar, but in tennis terms it’s a disaster, the death knell of the female game.

What now will the papers have to write about with Anna not in attendance? We half expect woman’s tennis to disappear completely from the papers, replaced with more shots of David Beckham.

A shot of Becks hitting a tennis ball with his wife Victoria would give the game some exposure. But it would not be enough.

It is panic stations in the world of tennis, and scouts are looking up skirts and down tops for the next star of the game.

Daniela Hantuchova is one option. She’s tall, not at all bad looking and is from the frozen wastes of East Europe. She is also stick thin, which gives us something to focus on.

We will hear about her 44-inch long legs. And then we will hear that they are too thin. There are rules about 44-inch long legs, and Daniela’s will be seen as rule-breakers.

The Mail has already started the ball rolling, saying how the ”legs of Bratislava” have become the ”spindles of Slovakia”.

It’s all building up in time for the Wimbledon championships.

But something is still missing. If Daniela could just tighten the top and raise the hemline of her skirt, the sport of women’s tennis might attract the attention it is accustomed to.

Come on, Daniela, it’s for the good of the game…

Posted: 18th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Out! Out! Out!

‘READING today’s news that David Beckham has been signed by Real Madrid evokes memories of the last days of Margaret Thatcher’s regime.

Putting the pain into Spain

Such is the boredom with hearing, seeing and breathing in the Beckham nonsense that it’s a wonder no paper begins with the headline: ”Beckham. Beckham. Beckham. Out! Out! Out!”

For those readers who mistake Beckham for the sports pages, the newspapers have all placed the news of the England captain’s £25 million sale from Manchester United to Madrid on the front cover.

Readers get ”El Becko” in the Star; ”Sold” in the Mirror; and ”Yes, he’s on his way at last” in the Mail.

On the back pages we see more pictures of Beckham and more pictures of his wife, the limpid Posh. Dressed like her husband in dark jacket and white vest, the Posh one flicks her hair (Mail) and aims for the cameras.

So let’s change the tune and give it a hearty: ”Posh. Posh. Posh. Gone! Gone! Gone! Yipppeeee!!”

This leaves us with time to look at the Sun and see England lose the one-day cricket match to Pakistan. Michael Vaughan, England’s new one-day captain, will have better days than these.

England scored a low 209 for nine wickets of their allotted 50 overs. It would never be enough against a spirited Pakistan side, and so it proved to be. It was, nonetheless, close and England were only killed off with four balls left to go.

But the big news should be Saturday night’s big heavyweight bout between Lennox Lewis and the hulking Ukrainian Vitali Klitschko.

The Express features the great white hope in conversation, hearing of his four languages and PhD.

We learn of his love for the Ukraine, even though he now lives in sunny California. And of his respect for Lewis.

Over in the Sun, Lewis is reading about Beckham. ”I am always going to be 10 times more famous than David Beckham,” says Lewis.

Perhaps so. But he should concentrate more on his preparations for a tricky fight than the moves of a footballer.

But at least if he loses, we’ll know who’s to blame. That’s right – Posh.

Posted: 18th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Word Games

‘BEING a sports journalist must be as easy as learning how to spell Beckham.

Anna suspected someone had turned the heating up

Showing how easy that is, all the papers ignore the welter of sporting activity, tales of the men and woman who are playing actual games, to spell out the word ”Beckham”.

The Sun even finds that too taxing and shortens the entire thing to ”Becks”, a masterstroke of brevity and the sub-editor’s art.

Very soon the letter ”B” will be all that appears on the backpages. And after that perhaps nothing, save a Real Madrid-like whiteness.

And that would be appropriate because the story that passes for news is that Beckham, Becks or B is off to Real Madrid.

The Mirror says that if/when he goes to Spain, Manchester United will ”only” get £18m for him. How United will survive on so meagre a sum is beyond our understanding.

And if that’s grim, take a look at the Mirror’s other story, this time about Arsenal’s Nigerian player Kanu.

Having summoned the IT department to locate the underused un-Beckham letters ”n” and ”u”, the paper reveals that Kanu is being offered £1m to leave Arsenal.

So desperate are the Gunners to rid themselves of their lackadaisical striker that they are offering to pay him seven figures to go.

Yes, we know, a million pounds is an insult, tantamount to a slap in the face. But football is undergoing a dip in fiscal fortunes and tough choices are being made.

And it’s the same with Wimbledon. Well, not yet, but very soon the tennis tournament will be put of business, as the Express brings the grim news that Anna Kournikova – the world’s only female tennis player – has pulled out of Wimbledon.

In tears, the Russian-born ace has been forced to withdraw from this year’s Wimbledon because of a niggling back injury.

And no Anna means two things: the death of tennis and lots more Becks.

Posted: 17th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


In England’s Defence

‘WHAT does Australian rugby coach Eddie Jones know about Premier League football? Not very much, it seems.

Billy Whizz

He has welcomed the England XV to Australian shores following their historic 15-13 defeat of the All Blacks with a misdirected barb ahead of this weekend’s match with his Wallabies.

”They’re playing that Premier League soccer,” he said. ”Get down the other end and have a few set plays and take what they get down there.”

Anyone who has watched any Premier League football recently will not have a clue what Jones is on about.

And nor will anyone who has watched England’s recent performances on the rugby field.

It is true that England were poor in attack, especially behind the scrum, at Wellington.

But the All Blacks didn’t create a whole lot more – and they are supposed to have the most exciting and creative back line in world rugby.

Indeed, the only try of the game came from a kick and chase from the Kiwis, which should not have counted anyway as the chaser was clearly offside.

Australia know that any victory against the All Blacks in New Zealand is a very impressive achievement and the quality of the English defence will have made a mark.

However, if they think that there is no more to England’s game than a solid defence, a big pack and Jonny Wilkinson’s boot, they might be in for a shock on Saturday.

Conditions in Melbourne will hopefully be better than they were at Wellington, where rain and swirling wind made life difficult for both teams.

Both sides will then be encouraged to attack each other out wide – and give us the chance to see Ben Cohen and Jason Robinson and Joe Roff and Wendell Sailor in full flow.

In fact, it should be just like a Premier League football match – flowing from end to end with pace, skill and plenty of passion.

We hope Eddie Jones enjoys it.’

Posted: 17th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


All Right

‘ENGLAND’S win against the All Blacks elevates the rugby union team to a new plateau of excellence. When faced with the best, the team dug deep and won.

England are unstoppable

And New Zealand on their own patch are the best. England are top of the world ranking – and were going into last Saturday’s match at Wellington’s Westpac stadium – but the All Blacks are always tops at home.

At least that’s what the Kiwis have been brought up on. The All Blacks play at home and the All Blacks win. They had lost once to England on home turf, but that was back in 1973, a result widely considered a fluke.

When England went down to 13 men, we expected the Kiwis to rack up the points. In an eight-minute spell with two spare men on the field New Zealand scored no points. To rub salt into the wound, England scored three.

But still the mood said that the Kiwis would win. With the shirt comes the legend. Deep in every Englishman’s psyche lies a seed that was planted in their youth: the Kiwis are the best there is.

The danger was that England would suddenly realise that they were up against the revered All Blacks. A splash of water – or in Josh Lewsley’s case, a kick in the head – would wake them from the dream of victory.

The game bought to mind images of Muhammad Ali, with the Kiwis in the role of the Louisville Lip. Like Ernie Shavers, England had hit the champion hard. The champion had wobbled.

Here was the crunch point. Would England back off like Shavers had done, unable really to comprehend that the legend was reeling? Or would they seek to press home their advantage?

Over to Martin Johnson, England’s captain on the day. He knew that many thought England would crack after the Kiwis had scored the game’s only try.

”Let’s crack them, let’s not fold,” he told his team-mates. And so it was.

At the vital moment, England realised that they were no longer just another side on the up; they are the best in the world.

And to be the best you take on everyone, reputations and all. As a result, it’s no longer merely hopeful to say that this England side can win the World Cup.

Posted: 16th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Black And White

‘IT cannot be often that the election of the Barcelona president has led the sports pages over here, but of course any story with just of whiff of David Beckham is big news.

A Black mark for New Zealand rugby

And Joan Laporta’s campaign to take on the top job at the Catalan club was based on a promise to bring the England captain to the city.

Whether he will succeed is another matter, with the Guardian suggesting that Laporta’s success has prompted Real Madrid to make a move for the player.

It quotes reports in Spain, suggesting that Manchester United chief executive Peter Kenyon and managing director David Gill met with Real director Pedro Lopez on Friday.

But Barcelona, who are prepared to make Beckham the highest-paid footballer in the world, are confident they can get their man.

Vice-president Sandro Rosell has said that, ”given 24 hours with Beckham in Barcelona”, he could persuade him and his wife to move to Catalonia.

It sounds unlikely, however, given that it’ll probably take more than 24 hours just to explain to them where Catalonia is.

Away from football, the Independent leads with more predictable news that Michael Schumacher has recovered from a slow start to the season to take the lead in the Formula 1 drivers’ championship.

The German duly won the Canadian GP yesterday, his fourth victory in the last five races, and now leads Kiki Raikkonen by three points.

Less predictable was England rugby players’ 15-13 victory over the mighty All Blacks – only their second success in New Zealand ever.

But the match – and full-back Josh Lewsey’s face – has been scarred by an incident in which All Black lock Ali Williams was seen stamping on the No.15’s head.

And coach Clive Woodward is furious that Williams has been cleared of foul play by the New Zealand rugby football union.

”If this had been an England player, then I bet we wouldn’t have had the same verdict,” he tells the Telegraph.

The panel decided that the stamp, which required Lewsey to have half a dozen stitches and has left his face looking a bit of a mess, was accidental.

The Telegraph calls the judgement ”ludicrous” and says it sends out the wrong signals.

It recalls that five years ago, All Black lock Ian Jones was cleared of stamping on prop Graham Rowntree, while England lock Danny Grewcock got a five-match ban for kicking an opponent.

There’s one rule for the All Blacks, it seems, and another for the All Whites.

Posted: 16th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Guess Who’s Beck

‘AFTER a mercifully brief interlude, during which England played and won a match without him, David Beckham returns to his rightful place on the back pages of the papers this morning.

”Cricket is the new rock ‘n’ roll”

Not that any of the papers are any the wiser as to where the England skipper will be playing next season – except that they all agree it won’t be in Manchester.

The Express insists that Beckham will go to Barcelona if neither of his first-choice clubs – AC Milan and Real Madrid – can reach an agreement with the Old Trafford board.

The Mirror says Beckham’s advisers asked Real 15 questions in a secret meeting, such as whether he would be a first-team regular and whether he could wear the No.7 shirt.

”Another meeting is planned for June 23,” the paper says, ”when Real are expected to table a formal offer for the player who has become an outcast at Old Trafford.”

The Sun claims that AC Milan are so keen to sign Beckham that they have offered Andrei Shevchenko £1m to give up his No.7 shirt.

All well and good, but if neither Milan or Madrid do come in for Beckham, he had better hope that Joan Laporta wins the race to become Barcelona president on Sunday.

His rival, Llius Bassat, certainly doesn’t seem too keen on splashing out £30m on the 28-year-old.

”Our club is in the crap financially,” he said, ”and starting to rebuild with Beckham would put us in the shit.”

With the Mail warning that England’s potentially decisive Euro 2004 qualifier against Turkey could be played behind closed doors after crowd violence at the Turks’ game against Macedonia, you have to delve inside the paper before you can find any genuine action.

And we find that Tom Watson rolled back the years to lead at the end of the first round of golf’s US Open, Greg Rusedski lost a tennis match and Atomic Kitten will play at one of cricket’s Twenty20 matches.

Jenny Frost apparently is a useful medium pace bowler and No.7 batsman.

Posted: 13th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Rearguard Inaction

‘SVEN Goran Eriksson has an impressive record as manager of England in competitive fixtures, having lost just one match out of 18 – and that to the world champions.

”Yours!”

By rights, he should be lauded by the football establishment, by the media and by the fans.

But anyone who saw the first half of England’s Euro 2004 qualifier against Slovakia on Wednesday will find it hard to express unreserved admiration for the Swede.

It is hard to recall a worst performance over 45 minutes than the shambolic effort that was England’s first half – and there have been a few dire games to choose from.

The absence of three-quarters of the first-choice defence is only a partial excuse.

The problem was not so much lack of ability (although, if Danny Mills is the second best right back in England, we really are in trouble).

The problem was that no-one – in defence, midfield or attack – seemed to have a clue what they were supposed to be doing. And the person at fault for that must be Eriksson.

The Swede cannot complain that he had not had enough time with the players – he has had two friendly matches and a training camp to get it right.

So, either he is not getting his message across to the players or they are not listening.

On the second-half performance, Slovakia are a very average side. It shows just how awful England’s first-half was that they made them look quite good.

To Eriksson’s credit, he realised that the famed diamond formation wasn’t working early on and made the change before half-time.

By that stage, Danny Mills had shown conclusively that he is not an international standard full-back – not even for the Faroe Islands.

In the second half, England were a lot better and thoroughly deserved their victory at the end.

Michael Owen’s first goal might have been the result of a soft penalty, but Slovakia should not complain about that.

England definitely had the worst of the decisions, with Gareth Southgate almost being mugged in the area only a couple of minutes later and then Frank Lampard having a goal disallowed by one of the most perverse offside decisions I’ve ever witnessed.

But they shouldn’t have needed rescuing – by Owen, the referee or whoever.

In this qualifying group, England have now been behind in three of the five games they have played – in both games against Slovakia and twice in the game against Macedonia.

They cannot expect to keep coming back, especially against better teams.

It is now a matter of some urgency that Eriksson sorts out the mess that is the England defence and allows the rest of the team to play a bit of football.

Posted: 13th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


On His Owen

‘READING the Times this morning you can imagine Michael Owen jumping up and down on the spot screaming ”Look at me! I’m over here!” in a bid to gain attention.

”And I want to live in…Milan”

Last night the boy wonder – he’s still just 23 – celebrated winning his 50th England cap with a fine display of running and scoring, that brought him two goals and England a 2-1 over Slovakia.

And the Times leads its review with: ”England back on course after Owen mends it like Beckham.”

Yes, the poor lad who worked so hard last night is still forced to share the headlines with a player who never even took to the pitch.

Even when Beckham isn’t there he remains an integral part of English success.

Inside the paper, Simon Barnes says that the ”ghost” of England’s absent captain is ”omnipresent”, going as far as to award the man-of-the-match award to the Beckham one.

”He was, after all, the most conspicuous player on display at the Riverside Stadium last night, and effortlessly the most talked about,” he gushes.

Only he wasn’t – not if you really watch England play and are a football fan rather than a Beckham worshipper.

Thankfully, such trite nonsense is missing from the Telegraph, where Owen is rightly seen as England’s lone saviour. ”Owen rescues England,” says the bold headline.

The Guardian even manages to look beyond just England and tell its readers that Ireland beat Georgia last night by two goals to nil and that a plucky Northern Irish side that have lost about 2,000 games on the trot have drawn 0-0 with Spain.

”Unbelievable” is the world the paper uses to begin its review of the Northern Irish game.

Incredible might be just as apt, especially when we learn that Ireland are ranked 111th in the Fifa ranking, while Spain are joint second with France.

But now to the most important story in sport, and the most important question: where does Victoria Beckham want to live?

The Independent lines up the brochures – Manchester, Barcelona, Madrid and Milan – and take us through the plusses and minuses for each.

And the winner is…Milan. Well, the winner for us, because the verdict is that she’d be too busy shopping to relaunch her signing career.

Posted: 12th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Narrow Escape

‘PELE. To Cruyff. To Zico. To Tardelli. To Zidane. To Best. To Maradona. To Mills… What happens next?

Danny Mills is called in to see Sven

I’ll tell you. The ball is ballooned at five hundred miles per hour straight into the stands. Mills turns and like the gimp looking for his security box runs back to his berth on the right side of defence.

Of course, Mills is not lucky enough to play with the world’s greatest ever players. He has to make do with Phil Neville, Matthew Upson and Frank Lampard.

There are the likes of Michael Owen and Steven Gerrard, who Mills can take the ball off and then put an end to the any move. But they are in the minority.

The fact is that England have no width. Relying on a plodding fullback to get forward is a joke. Mills moves with all the grace of James Bond’s old adversary Rosa Klebb trying on some new shoes.

Mills is everything that is wrong with the England side. Clearly not all of this is his fault, and he should be rightly proud that he is playing for this national side.

But he is no winger. So why is he playing on the wing? This is a question Sven Goran Eriksson can answer. But we won’t need to put it to him because we know the answer: there are no decent English wingers.

Darren Anderton is an option. And much as I would like to criticise the limping tampon, I can’t argue with the notion that he at least provides width.

Steve McManaman is another option to occupy the wide left or right. But he pretty much disappeared the day he went to Spain.

This paucity of wing options is set to be more evident should Trevor Brooking, who commentated on last’s match, take charge of England’s affairs.

He’d consider playing Wayne Bridge and Ashley Cole on the left, one behind the other.

I can feel the tears beginning to well up at the very thought of it.

The only option for England – until Ryan Giggs sees the light or the likes of Jermaine Pennant or some other young prospect makes the grade – is to play all England games on a very narrow pitch.

Something as wide as the players tunnel should do it, with a neat security-conscious 5-4-1 formation.

It won’t be pretty, but at least we shan’t have to look at acres of space behind the opposition’s fullbacks that no England player has the guile or speed to get into.

Posted: 12th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


David And Goliaths

‘IN today’s Beckham fanzine, the Telegraph says that our hero is off to Barcelona. The Guardian says that he was off to Barcelona, but Real Madrid are set to ”hijack” the deal.

”Grrrrrrrr!”

The Times says that, although a deal has been agreed for the player to go to Barcelona, the player’s agents and lackeys are not happy.

The Catalan club are not even guaranteed a place in the impoverished Uefa Cup next season, having to win their berth with a series of good performances in the InterToto Cup.

This is surely not a great venue for Beckham, the world’s most bankable footballer.

So Becks is said to be unhappy at how United are treating him. And United, as the Times reports, are about to be miserable as Alex Ferguson should Real Madrid sign Ronaldinho from under their noses.

The football wheel turns and wherever it stops no-one yet knows. The only thing for sure is that the richest clubs are all in pursuit of the biggest names.

Which makes us wonder what Tim Henman would be worth if he were a footballer. Less Manchester United glamour and more a willing and trusted Blackburn Rovers stayer.

But Henman has no plans to change career, and the Telegraph spots the Chiswick Champ hitting ball on racket at the Stella Artois tournament.

And it was a close thing, as Timmy defeated ”seasoned” Italian Davide Sanguinetti 7-3 in a last-set tie-breaker.

And Henman was quick to blame the grass and the balls for the narrow margin of his victory.

”The court’s pretty slow,” he notes. ”With my style of game I’d prefer them to be quicker, with a bit lower bounces, but I don’t make those decisions.”

But the men and women who run British tennis do. And we look forward to a lightning quick Wimbledon surface and deflated balls.

Oh, and lots and lots of rain.

Posted: 11th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Back To The Future

‘ONLY one thing matters in tonight’s clash between England and Slovakia at the Riverside tonight and that is the result.

England will expect goals from the Owen-Rooney combination

After making up for the disappointment of the home draw against Macedonia with a deserved 2-0 win over Turkey, England must not surrender the momentum.

They know that if they win the three games against the minnows of the group – Slovakia, Macedonia and Liechtenstein – they will not need more than a draw in their final match in Turkey to qualify for Euro 2004 as group leaders.

That in itself will not be easy, but having to win over there is much, much harder.

Of course, England should win – but Slovakia are not push-overs. They took the lead against England in Bratislava and were only narrowly beaten by Turkey at the weekend.

With wins in Macedonia and at home against Liechtenstein, they can still just about qualify for second place – so they have plenty to play for apart from pride.

The crucial part of the game for England is likely to be the defence.

Traditionally, England’s problem has been scoring goals, but recently it has been at the back where they have shown greatest weakness.

With an inexperienced back five, comprising David James, Ashley Cole, Matthew Upson, Gareth Southgate and probably Danny Mills, it is vital that Sven Goran Eriksson tightens things up.

England have leaked goals to Macedonia and Slovakia already in this qualifying group – and have looked shaky at the back in their recent friendlies.

They conceded a goal a piece against South Africa and Serbia-Montenegro, and three in that woeful match against Australia.

With the likes of Michael Owen and Wayne Rooney up front and Steven Gerrard and Paul Scholes in midfield, you have to fancy that England will score against most opposition.

However, whether one goal will be enough depends on the performance at the back. ‘

Posted: 11th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kiwis Take Flight

‘ENGLAND are turning into a rugby superpower. The Independent says that yesterday England played and beat New Zealand Maori in their own back yard.

The NZ Maoris get it in the neck

For those who fail to realise the significance of this, the paper publishes a fact that should be registered: before yesterday, England had not won a single match on Kiwi soil since June 4 1985.

The mood in the England camp following their 9-23 win, which included two tries for and none against, is buoyant to say the least. Going into Saturday’s international in Wellington, the team are in good shape.

The Telegraph notices that England fielded a second string outfit, made up of benchwarmers and future prospects. But even they displayed a ”ruthless side”.

And being ruthless is often what marks the winner out from the losers. Take Michael Schumacher, the pragmatic German motor racer.

The Telegraph says that the reigning Formula One world champion has just agreed to drive for Ferrari until the end of 2006.

However, it looks unlikely he’ll be partnered by Rubens Barrichello, who is, the paper says, not seen as a part of the Ferrari future.

So the reds are looking for a new face. If you are a driver skilled in pulling over to let your ruthless teammate take the lead, apply to the Ferrari team.

There will surely be much competition for that job, far more than the interest generated in the battle to become leader of London’s Olympic bid.

The Guardian says that Sir Christopher Meyer, Britain’s former ambassador to Washington, Lord Simon, the former chairman of BP, and Charles Allen, the head of Granada, have all ruled themselves out of the contest.

Which means no Briton is left on the shortlist. The Independent says that the three still in the hunt for the job are Barbara Cassani (American), Kevin Roberts (New Zealander) and Gerry Robinson (Irish).

And we wish the eventual victor every success. After all, winning on foreign soil will be a recurring theme of the 2012 London Olympics.’

Posted: 10th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Two David Beckhams

‘THERE is no denying that David Beckham is a high talented footballer. It’s the fact that surely lies at the root of his appeal.

Two Beckhams is bad enough

But Beckham comes with baggage, Gucci caseloads of the stuff. Beckham has so much additional clobber that he is like a walking emporium, of the type built by his pal Giorgio Armani and patronised by his wife, Victoria.

I do believe that beneath it all, Beckham is the consummate footballing professional. His pinpoint passing ability is a skill self-taught as much as it is innate. He is the worker making the best of his gifts.

In the changing room, it’s hard to believe that Beckham is the cynosure he off the pitch, wanting to take the centre stage and take on the role of leader. Can Beckham upstage the likes of Roy Keane or Alex Ferguson? Not unless they let him.

Whichever team secures Beckham’s services for next season would be wise to realise that he is a man who plays for the team. If they want an individualist, they should go for Paolo Di Canio.

The differences between Beckham the player and Beckham the TV awards presenter, popstar husband and walking advertising board are deep.

When he speaks, we cringe. The voice is not one of a star of the big or small screen. It’s something the firms that pay to advertise with him seem to realise, showing him in magazine stills rather than moving images.

The one time we’ve seen him in motion on camera, his paymasters at Vodafone gave him a non-speaking role. Beckham is seen head down at a humble supermarket checkout playing a game on his phone.

The message is that Beckham is approachable and down to earth. And it’s hard to believe he isn’t.

It’s just that he’s been overblown and paraded around – often by his publicity hungry wife – to such an extent that he’s become a man viewed from the wrong side of a red rope.

Beckham the footballer will go to Madrid or Milan and play well. What happens to Beckham the star remains to be seen. ‘

Posted: 10th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


On The Right Track

‘HAVING beaten Zimbabwe twice in just six days of cricket, won back-to-back Tests by an innings for the first time in 18 years and recorded their third Test win in a row, England should by rights be looking forward to the rest of the summer.

Nasser can still bodypop with the best of them

No-one is under any illusions but that South Africa will provide a much harder test than their neighbours.

However, assuming that there are no major injury concerns between now and mid-July (which is, admittedly a big ‘if’, given recent history), England can pick from a position of strength.

In certain positions at least, England at last seem to have genuine competition for places – especially, in the fast bowling department.

If everyone is fit, they will have to pick three from seven – James Anderson, Andrew Caddick, Darren Gough, Steve Harmison, Matthew Hoggard, Richard Johnson and Simon Jones.

It is a rare luxury for selectors who in recent matches have been more likely to perform a headcount a couple of days before the Test to check whether they had three fit players to send out.

Assuming Andrew Flintoff’s shoulder has recovered sufficiently to allow him to bowl, there will be another dilemma at No.7.

Anthony McGrath has scored a fifty in both his Test innings so far and has bowling figures of 3-16 from the only six overs he has bowled.

The selectors could not have asked more of him, but whether he has done enough to retain his place is a very different matter.

Flintoff is in brilliant form with the bat for Lancashire this season, with a first-class average of over 100 and he is, when fit, a more penetrative bowler than McGrath.

Much, one imagines, will depend on their relative performances in the one-day games coming up.

Similarly, England will be hoping that at least one of the young batsmen chosen for the limited-overs games stakes a claim to a Test place.

Nasser Hussain looks in very poor touch at the moment, not helped by the lack of cricket he has played. And Robert Key may have exhausted his chances.

Key, at least, gets a chance with the one-dayers to show that he can score big runs at this level.

The one area where England do lag behind almost every other country in the world, however, is with spin-bowling.

English wickets may not be particularly conducive to spin (especially at this time of year), but that hasn’t stopped visiting spinners having a fair bit of success.

Ashley Giles, by contrast, took just a single wicket in the two matches – but is under no threat for his place because there simply isn’t anyone to replace him.

This is the area that really needs to be addressed if England are to field a team capable of unsettling Australia when they next visit in 2005.

Posted: 9th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Beck Pages

‘ONCE upon a time, the back pages of the newspapers were just that – the back pages.

Next stop Mars

But in the past few years they have become the Beck pages as the sports hacks run a rule over every aspect of the England captain’s life.

The 28-year-old spent the weekend aboard a horse on a carousel in Disneyland, but that ride gets more attention than Kieron Fallon’s Derby win aboard Kris Kin on Saturday.

Of course, most of the speculation surrounds Beckham’s possible transfer, with Barcelona still the destination favoured by most of the papers.

The Express claims Beckham will make up his mind whether he is interested in going to the Nou Camp in the next 48 hours.

AC Milan have also thrown their hat into the ring, according to the Mirror, and have immediately jumped to the head of the queue.

But the Star says Manchester United will not sell to one of their European rivals for fear of a Beckham backlash in the Champions’ League.

”They know it would be a PR disaster for the club,” says the paper, ”and Sir Alex Ferguson would come under immediate pressure for forcing the fans’ favourite out of the door.”

Beckham is currently spending his summer break on a promotional tour of America and the Far East – and that, according to the Mail, has spelt the end of his Old Trafford career.

Ferguson, it says, had wanted to keep the midfielder at the club ”despite his disapproval of the player’s showbusiness lifestyle and a suspicion that he saves his energy for internationals”.

But his paternal instincts ”were stretched beyond breaking point” by Beckham’s summer plans – and he is now prepared to countenance his sale.

As for Beckham himself, the Sun claims that he feels betrayed by the club he has played for since he was a boy, saying he is being traded round ”like a piece of meat”.

”All he has ever done is give his best to the club,” a close pal says.

All of which sadly leaves us (and the papers) no space for the other sports news – how David Beckham inspired England cricketers to an innings victory, how David Beckham backed Kris Kin to win the Derby, how a swing tip from David Beckham put Gary Orr on track to win golf’s British Masters…

Posted: 9th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


I Want To Be Beckham 2

”’HOLA,” as they will soon be saying on the back pages of the nation’s press. ”Bienvenido a La Liga.”

”I’ll be the new Beckham. Me!”

Such is the clamour to talk about all things David Beckham that his imminent move to Spain will surely be swiftly followed by a geographical realignment of the British media.

The massed ranks of the press will decamp to Spain for every game. The papers will talk of Barcelona and Madrid as they now talk of Manchester United and Arsenal.

How else can the Beckham story keep rolling?

But with budget constraints being what they are, the removal of Beckham from the country will surely mean his demotion from his usual lead place on the sports pages.

Will we really be interested in every Beckham act if he’s no longer in his homeland? Chances are not, so the hunt is on for the next Becks.

It could be the time from Arsenal’s Freddie Ljungberg to step fully into the limelight.

Freddie has threatened to be a media darling for a while now. He loves playing with his hair – just like Beckham – and the girls seem to like him.

The main difference is that Freddie is Swedish, which makes him better at speaking English than the England captain. But it’s nothing a shot of helium and a bossy girlfriend can’t fix.

And then there’s Michael Owen. He’s got a child; he’s nice looking; he’s young and lives a clean life.

The fashion, though, lets him down, and nice as Gucci kids clothes are, they fail to wrap the wearer in raw sex appeal.

So we are looking for the man to be the new Becks, to dominate the sport pages and the front pages. And we need your help.

To get the ball rolling, we’ll list a few of the other early contenders and their Beckham traits: Wayne Rooney (good at football); Joe Cole (Londoner); Thierry Henry (photogenic); Paul Scholes (owns Manchester United kit); Basil Fawlty (overbearing wife); Chief Buthelezi. (first name terms with Nelson Mandela); Joe Pasquale (squeaky voice) and so on…

Send entries on an e-mail marked ”I want to be Beckham 2” to the usual address.

Posted: 6th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Monty’s Revenge

‘NO sooner has Victoria located Madrid in Brooklyn’s Junior Shopper atlas, than the Express announces that her husband Day-vid is off to Barcelona instead.

Monty – armed and dangerous

While the Beckhams hunker down in search of the Catalan city, readers of the Express get to hear from Joan Laporta, Barcelona’s presidential candidate.

”He’s mine,” says Joan, a man with girl’s name. ”David Beckham is our man. We will buy him, we have an agreement with Manchester United”.

He goes on: ”I have looked at the prospect of signing him, I have tasted it and it tastes good to me.”

It’s a nice turn of phrase, but the Beckham transfer saga needs more than few words to keep the world interested. Players come and players go – that is footballing life.

Just as playing a slow game is part and parcel of cricket. The Sun claims that ”Zzzzzzimbabwe” gave a performance in the Second Test at Durham that was ”go-slow”.

England did rattle off a decent 298 runs for the loss of five wickets, with Alec Stewart scoring a fine 67 not out and Anthony McGrath an even finer 68 not out.

But the Sun thinks there is a story in how the Zimbabwe team bowled so slowly that that play ran 35 minutes past the scheduled close time.

Come, come. We know the Sun is a football-mad paper, and cricket is rarely is ever on the back page, but to take a team to task for playing slowly, for being boring, when the preceding pages are filled with half-cocked, turgid and dull football rumour displays a lack of understanding about what sport is.

We can only hope that when Beckham goes, other sports stories emerge from the shadows.

But the Express does have some exciting news, and it spots the normally genial Colin Montgomerie apparently threatening a photographer with his pitching wedge.

The golfing Scot lost his cool when he failed to get out of a ditch on the seventh hole at the British Masters. He had, the story says, asked the photographers to stop snapping.

They did not, and Monty lost it. ”I have got to be honest,” says the photographer caught in Monty’s line of vision, ”it was a bit scary.”

Hmmm, wonder what David Beckham would have done in the same situation? Perhaps the Sun can tell us…

Posted: 6th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Breaking Cover

‘ENGLAND’S 2-1 friendly win against Serbia & Montenegro will have achieved little except add three unlikely names to the list of people who have captained England.

Rooney must start against Slovakia

Still, a win is always better than a defeat – even in these pointless matches – and England should be looking forward to next week’s Slovakia game with some confidence.

With David Beckham missing, it seems likely that Sven Goran Eriksson will start with Steven Gerrard on the right and Phil Neville doing a holding job in midfield.

In fact, the team at the Riverside is likely to bear a close resemblance to the one that started the game at the Walkers Stadium on Tuesday night.

Wayne Rooney must surely start ahead of Emile Heskey; Joe Cole will fight it out with his former team-mate Frank Lampard for the left midfield spot; and John Terry could be preferred to Matthew Upson in defence.

But whatever line-up Eriksson chooses, it should be enough to secure the necessary three points against a side who have a difficult home match against Turkey to contend with this weekend.

Not that Slovakia are mugs – they won 2-0 in Macedonia against a side that held England to a 2-2 draw in Southampton.

But England, as they showed against Turkey, are a good side when they get into their stride.

The worry, however, is that with so many injuries and suspensions, the side that does turn out next week will not have time to get into its stride.

For all that’s said about England having a great crop of young players coming through, the truth seems to be that they are all competing for the same positions.

England are already blessed with three quarters of a world-class midfield with Paul Scholes, Steven Gerrard and David Beckham.

In Owen Hargreaves, Joe Cole, Jermain Jenas, Frank Lampard, Phil Neville and Nicky Butt etc., they have no shortage of understudies.

But is the cover so good in other positions? Is Danny Mills really the second best right-back in England – and is Jamie Carragher the third?

Was Emile Heskey, until the emergence of Wayne Rooney, the best person to partner Michael Owen up front?

Is there no better keeper in England than David James?

And in the absence of Rio Ferdinand and Sol Campbell, should we really not have anyone with a bit more experience than Matthew Upson and John Terry?

England’s first team may be a decent outfit, but where is the strength in depth?

Posted: 5th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Changing Faces

‘YOU can imagine the conversation at the Beckham breakfast table this morning.

Now showing on The Disney Channel

”Oh, Day-vid, it’s brilliaant. I always wanted to go to live in It-taly,” says she who must be obeyed. ”Yeah,” says Dave. ”Real Madrid’s got some great shops.”

Whichever country the Beckhams do end up in, the Sun says that David will be plying his trade for the Catalan masters next season.

If this is not shocking enough for Manchester Untied fans, the news that their new hero is to be the Brazilian Ronaldinho must be.

From the most photogenic face in football, the Red Devils have adopted Goofy as their poster boy. Look out for a new sponsorship deal with Disney.

The rest of the sports news is dominated by football transfer speculation.

”Kewell set for Leeds showdown,” says the Mirror; Spurs have tried and failed to buy Freddie Kanoute from West Ham (Mirror); and in the Express, we hear how Arsenal are set to replace David Seaman with Valencia’s goalkeeper, Santiago Canizares.

The Sun even spots Roy Keane planning a move of his own – from the pitch to the coaching staff. The Irishman has enrolled on a ten-day intensive training course at Warwick University in a bid to earn his Uefa B badge.

Could Keane be the next manager of Manchester United? It’s less likely than Cherie Blair taking charge of London’s bid to host the 2012 Olympics.

And that’s a move the Mail says would mean kissing the Games goodbye. Cherie’s lack of judgement and vanity would do any bid no favours.

But already she seems to have taken notice of her husband’s eager-to-please style and the Mail duly shows sportswoman Cherie hitting a tennis ball outside Number 10.

That’s enough to make her mad keen on sport – and a certainty for the job.

Posted: 5th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cole The Goal

‘JOE Cole, the sloppy-jawed Went Ham captain, was hailed as the boy wonder of English football a season or so back.

Joe Cole was still learning how to take his shirt off

Since then his club have been relegated from the Premier League and he’s been at best on the fringes of the England team.

Last night, though, he came off the England bench to strike a terrific shot into the back of the net. His 25-yard freekick even triggers the Mirror to asks: ”Who needs Becks?”

The answer is simple: England. The national team need Beckham because without him the lack of cohesion and purpose has no-one to hide behind.

Too often Becks and not England is the story, a situation that makes displays without him especially awful to watch.

England did win the game against Serbia-Montenegro by two goals to one, a result that the Sun says is ”overshadowed” by the appearance of 43 different players – Serbia-Montenegro 22; England 21 – and no less that FOUR England captains.

There could have been five skippers on the night had David Seaman been playing, but the Arsenal and England goalkeeper has decided to call it day on competitive football and head for the Manchester City retirement village.

The Sun claims that the big guffawing Yorkshireman has agreed to sign for Kevin Keegan’s blues, seduced, no doubt, by their award-winning spirit of fair play and Premier League credentials.

And the small matter of a year-long contract that guarantees him what ageist Arsenal could not – first-team football.

Talking of not knowing when to quit, we now turn to the farce that is professional boxing.

In light of Audley Harrison’s challenge to Frank Bruno, the Sun hears reigning heavyweight world champion Lennox Lewis offer the panto prince £50,000 to stay out of the ring.

”If Frank needs the money that badly I’ll give him £50,000 just to stay out of the ring so that he doesn’t get hurt too badly,” says Lewis.

And before you say anything, no, not hurt by Harrison – by Lewis, who might be called upon to fight a resurgent Bruno.

”If Bruno comes back into boxing and fights me I would not want to be charged with murder,” says Lewis.

Although, the promoters would make something of a killing…

Posted: 4th, June 2003 | In: Back pages | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0