We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
999 is not a number to be trifled with. If you use the number to horse around, chances are, EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE BECAUSE THEY CAN’T GET THROUGH.
Either way, the London Fire Brigade have decided to shame some simpletons who haven’t quite grasped what the number is for. One lady called the Fire Brigade because she threw a glass of water at fighting dogs, but forgot her false teeth were in the glass. Number of fires in that incident – 0.
THE story about hundreds of drunk children in A&E departments was a front-page shocker. And it was, as we noted, balls. The story was created by the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire. It was bad that another BBC show sought to explain what utter nonsense it was, a scare story created from dodgy figures, a fear of youth and stocked by the therapy industry.
You can listen to the BBC undoing the BBC in this link: drunk kids
SISTERS Marion Hill, 41, and Lyndsay Millett, 37, removed flowers left in tribute to a dead man at Liverpool’s Springwood crematorium. They said the flowers were for their mum’s grave at Allerton cemetery.
Police thought it an idea to visit their home in Almeda Road, Speke. here, they found blank condolence cards, wreath stands, “wreath-making paraphernalia” and seven wreaths, including one to “DAD”. Two wreaths to MUM” and “NAN” had vanished from the crematorium on the evening of May 7, having been left in tribute to Bridget Jannet.
Edward Snowden, Glenn Greenwald and Ron Paul use the The Guardian to change the world, and other views on leaking
MI5 chief Andrew Parker: ”The gift to evade us and strike at will’”
David Aaronovitch in the Times:
TO Mexico, where Mexican paper La Razon says Irma Lopez, 29, was forced to give birth on the lawn in front of a medical centre in Oaxaca, Mexico, which had refused to admit her.
Court Artist Priscilla Coleman is first artist to sketch inside an English courtroom during a hearing
LOCAL news story of the week was found in the West Sussex County Times. Reporter DW Nye enlarges in the headline:
“Mother and daughter freed from Horsham bathroom”
A mother and daughter have been freed from their own bathroom after becoming locked in this morning (Tuesday October 8).
A VIDEO has appear online starring two women in British Airways uniforms. Weirdly, while clothed, they decide to have a shower. That’s right. A shower with your clothes on.
Of course, being dripping wet and covered in soap, one of the ladies decides to awkwardly strip off, throwing her cabin services manager’s uniform in the shower with her.
The video is called Sexy Two Air Hostesses in Uniform and British Airways are launching an investigation into the video and want to know the identity of the two women.
JACK Kerouac was so unimpressed by the cover his publishers stuck on The Town and the City, he sketched the one he wanted for OneThe Road.
MEREDITH Kercher is not yet at peace. The retrial of Amanda Knox in Perugia, Italy, for Kercher’s murder is underway. Knox and her then lover Raffaelle Sollecito were convicted and then acquitted. This time, however, Knox won’t be in the courtroom, opting to remain in the US.
DRIVING home I was stopped by the police. One copper leaned in the window and said he could smell marijuana. I told him was mistaken, which he must have been: there was never any weed in the Peugeot, officer. He ordered me from my car and the usual nonsense followed before I was sent on my way. Which all leads to this question: can the smell of marijuana attract member of the opposite sex as well as the police? In 1981, the makers of Stash perfume thought so:
WOULD you know Hitler is he were living in Canada? In November 1944, the Free Press Weekly Prairie Farmer asked is readers:
“Would You Know Der Fuehrer’s Face If He Settled In Western Canada?”
It’s all about the facial hair. In 1940s’ Western Canada, chef’s were buttoned-up, militaristic and waxed-tipped; all men of letters wore glasses and went for a centre-parting; the Hobos dress like Slavs; and the guy next door looks like a Nazi.
“HE must have been drunk because when he came off the plane, he took his top off and shouted ‘come on then’ in a Manchester accent and was trying to get the captain to fight him,” Says an eyewitness to events on an easyJet flight arrived at Manchester Airport from Malta. “Then he carried on taking all his clothes off. I have no idea why. The woman he was with gave him a slap for it. He’d had an altercation with other passengers and the captain had come down the plane to calm him down.”
CHRISTIAN Aerobics was not like other aerobics (notably Muslim aerobics, Jewish aerobics and the Sikh aerobic, which is, as we know, glorified rhythmic gymnastics).
Drunk Jack Kerouac debates ‘hippie” and its meaning with a pompous William F. Buckley – Fernanda Pivano just gets it
JACK Kerouac, author of the classic, On the Road liked a drink or three.
In this video, Kerouac talks with writer Fernanda Pivano. He is three sheets to the wind:
In 1965, Kerouac was on the magic box again. William F. Buckley was in the chair, whose pomposity and self-regard is hilarious.
THE Associated Press journeys to Vernon Center Middle School Connecticut middle school. Students are screaming “HUMP DAY”. It’s distracting the teachers.
The news report is here:
It’s all a remarkable non-news story. But it got us wondering what adverts we quoted in our youth. A poll of Anorak Towers revealed these gems:
“Polite Notice: There is nothing of value left on our premises… It’s already been taken… By Thieving F*cking Bastards.”
MADELEINE McCann: a look at today’s media coverage of the missing child.
The Star (front page): “MADDIE: Mums begs court: Let me clear my name.”
“Mum” is, of course, Kate McCann. That she should have to prove her innocence is absurd.
ENGLAND batsman and general talented poser, Kevin Pietersen, has accepted a large but undisclosed amount of money for libel damages after a Specsavers advert implied he may have tampered with his bat during this summer’s Ashes series against Australia.
THE Pew Research Center wanted to establish how much American adults know about science.
Question 1. “What gas do most scientists believe causes temperatures in the atmosphere to rise?”
Correct answer: Carbon Dioxide.
WOMEN drivers come in for a lot of flack, mainly because they accidentally inspired that awful Sheila’s Wheels advert. However, someone more deserving of the mockery is Saudi cleric, Sheikh Saleh al-Luhaydan.
He’s warned, with a completely straight face, that driving will affect women’s ovaries and bring “clinical disorders” upon their poor unfortunate children.
Yes, you read that correctly.