We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
WANT top speak like a Victorian? James Redding Ware, the pen name of writer Andrew Forrester, documented slang English terms of that perverted period in British history in his book Passing English of the Victorian era, a dictionary of heterodox English, slang and phrase.
“Thousands of words and phrases in existence in 1870 have drifted away, or changed their forms, or been absorbed, while as many have been added or are being added,” he writes in the book’s introduction. “‘Passing English’ ripples from countless sources, forming a river of new language which has its tide and its ebb, while its current brings down new ideas and carries away those that have dribbled out of fashion.”
THE Muslim Patrol are reduced in number. Two of the gang who seek to enforce Sharia Law around a mosque in East London have been staring at the Old Bailey. The gang plodded along the streets of East London telling infidels, allegedly: “Why are you poisoning your body? It is against Islam. This is a Muslim patrol. Kill the non-believers.” They, allegedly, defaced images of H&M push-up bras.
Drinkers had their booze confiscated. Some was tipped away. The gang punched two people.
THE Twitter account for @KelloggsUK has message from a tame feline who want vulnerable kids to eat lots of sugar and salt for breakfast. All it takes is a retweet:
PAUL Dutton, 48, was ejected from his local branch of Asda in Cambridge, after a fellow shopper complained about his attire – a classic formal black suit of the type produced by Hugo Boss in the 1940s.
Unfortunately this suit happened to closely resemble the uniform of Hitler’s notorious SS, and even more unfortunately the resemblance was entirely uncoincidental. Mr Dutton’s “hobby” is Adolf Hitler, you see, and his fascination is such that his living room boasts a painting of himself being decorated by the Fuhrer – a man who once earned an honest living decorating people’s homes as a housepainter.
THEY said farewell to Harold Percival at Lytham Park Crematorium, Lytham St Annes, in Lancashire. After the advert – see above – people came to pay their respects.
IN 1961, Yale University’s Stanley Milgram, a Jew, tested how compliant humanity was. Could any of us have been a Nazi? Could we have killed and tortured on command? Milgram wondered is we could all be Adolf Eichmann, the mass murderer? He asked: “Could it be that Eichmann and his million accomplices in the Holocaust were just following orders? Could we call them all accomplices?”
Eichmann’s ordinariness inspired Hannah Arendt to coin the phrase “the banality of evil”.
An advert was placed for willing ‘Nazis’:
FLASHBACK: African schoolteacher Sanderson Chirambo is with his man-powered aircraft Limba IV on the road at Glenara Estates African School, 10 miles from Salisbury, Rhodesia on March 15, 1967, before his attempt to become the first man to fly successfully a man-powered aircraft. His machine - a bicycle fitted with a 12 foot aluminium wing and tailplane – failed to leave the ground. After the attempt Sanderson shook his head sadly and said: “It’s the same problem I’ve faced all along. It’s much to heavy.”
LOCAL NEWS: The Cambridge News reports on the pensioner who “tipped” a bag of dog poo over a Cambridge University lecturer for “cycling too close to her”. In Trumpington…
Susan Currall, 75, was so fed up with cyclists “hurtling” towards her on the path next to the guided busway in Trumpington, she emptied a bag of her pet’s excrement over a Cambridge University fellow, a court heard.
That’s Trumpington, last in the news when the trustees of Trumpington Village Hall cancelled Peer Rope Cambridge’s “relationship meeting” over concerns that the venus has been booked “under false pretences”.
Is Trumpington the country’s greatest local news hotspot?
Currall, who used to work for the British Embassy in the USA, swung the bag of faeces at him while walking her dog by the allotments near Shelford Road and then held it up to allow the contents to spill over him and his clothes, Cambridge magistrates were told.
THIS is an interesting call:
Paul Massara took to his personal Twitter account to vent his anger over the ‘cartel’ claims minutes after they were made by several MPs in the House of Commons.
“Lots of wild talk about cartels but no evidence and the facts don’t support. Where is the evidence ????” he wrote. “Put up or shut up.”
The interesting thing about it is that no one as yet has in fact presented any evidence showing that there is a cartel in action. All we’ve been told is that they all put their prices up at the same time so therefore they musty be.
ARE you a paedophile? Stop it and put it away. If you want to have sex with a child, then perhaps you should re-invent The Krankies. If not, you’ll be offered a Sweetie.
Of course, we’re not talking about giving humbugs to child-abusers, but rather, there’s a computer generated child called Sweetie who is out to catch you weird sods.
And more than a hundred Britons were among the thousand caught trying to pay Sweetie money to perform sex acts online, after a children’s charity set up a fake profile.
Terre des Hommes carried out their 10-week honey trap in Holland, posing on video chat rooms as “Sweetie”, a 10-year-old girl from the Philippines. 20,000 men got in touch and 1,000 offered her money. The worst offenders were from America, UK and India, although, you can assume the Daily Mail will blame Muslims somehow.
The story goes that the students went fully dressed into school. They were then asked to remove their shoes and socks and sit on a desk. They were invited to chose a card saying Tickle’ or ‘Sniff’ depending on which card they chose.
The Lancashire Telegraph reports the words of one mum: “I am deeply concerned and I feel everyone should know what has been happening so it can be properly looked into. This is so confusing for children. My son said he was picked up and put on a table, his shoes and socks taken off. Then he had to pick a card saying tickle or sniff. How can under-tens make any sense of that?”
Under tens? Nine year olds? Anorak can recall when the average nine-year-old was a cheeky so-and-so with all the wit and lip. Have the kinder been scarred by this episode? It’s unusual, admittedly, but we don’t know the context?
The mother adds: “I didn’t know anything about this and was called into school to be told my son had been questioned by police.
Another mum adds: “It’s just really worrying to me. My daughter wasn’t one of the kids questioned, but I am just as concerned as those parents are. The kids think it is all a game but I think it needs looking into.”
Maybe it was a game. Maybe the kids are right, and alright?
One thing is certain: that teacher’s career at the school is over.
Oh, brave new world…
He died age 99.
He never married. He had no children.
So. The nurses and staff at Alistre Lodge Nursing Home in Lytham St Annes in Lancashire, where he died, placed an advert calling for people to attend his funeral (above). Like many others, we spotted it.
Daily Mirror Fury: English ‘Nazis’ Rampage In Oxfordshire And Robin Van Persie’s Manchester United Attack The Arsenal On Remembrance Day
THE Daily Mirror leads with news of Brad Pitt ruining Remembrance Day by hanging out with actors dressed as Nazis in Shirburn, Oxon. The population of Shirburn is around 100.
Fury as director of Brad Pitt film stages Nazi war scenes in English village on REMEMBRANCE SUNDAY
THE Super Typhoon Haiyan has claimed many lives. In a disaster facts can be hard to come by. Yesterday, Tacloban city administrator Tecson Lim said that the death toll in the city alone “could go up to 10,000″. It’s a huge number. But it might be wrong. It might be that he wants the world to focus on his city and send massive help. Some news outlets pounce on the figure.
These headlines are all from the past 24 hours:
Euro News: “At least 100 dead as typhoon Haiyan leaves trail of destruction in Philippines”
ON August 21 1957, visitors to the Radio and Television Fair watched the effect of their words on a TV telephone set up in Frankfurt, West Germany. Phones used for calls were linked to four TV sets and two cameras so each person can see a picture of himself and the person he is talking to. The AP reported: “There is no telling what effect the TV telephone will have on what people say and how they do it when they call.”
THERE’S a man inside Sesame Street’s Big Bird?
It’s the mask sported by anti-capitalist protestors. It is also the mask from the film V For Vendetta:
A shadowy freedom fighter known only as “V” uses guerrilla tactics to fight against his terrorist, totalitarian society. Upon rescuing a girl from the secret police, he also finds his best chance at having an ally.
The Warner Bros film cost $54m to make.
A cut of every mask sold goes to Warner Brothers. Another cut of every one sold on Amazon goes to Amazon – the company that paid £2.4m in corporate taxes last year, the online retailer’s accounts show, despite making sales of £4.3bn.
The tax bill was almost as much as the £2.5m in government grants Amazon received over the same period, according to a Companies House filing.
So. Buying that mask to wear as a protest against capitalism and corporate greed profits the very companies you dislike.
Rubies Costume Company, which makes the mask, sells around 100,000 a year worldwide, and 16,000 in the UK, according to spokesman Steve Kitt, who seems a little concerned that any association with activists might harm the company’s image.
“We sell over 100,000 of these masks a year, and it’s by far the best-selling mask that we sell,” said Howard Beige, executive vice president of Rubie’s Costume, a New York costume company that produces the mask. “In comparison, we usually only sell 5,000 or so of our other masks.” The Vendetta mask, which sells for about $6 at many retailers, is made in Mexico or China, Mr. Beige said.
Mr. Beige said he did not know why the mask was so popular until recently. “We just thought people liked the ‘V for Vendetta’ movie. Then one morning I saw a picture of these protesters wearing the mask in an online news article,” he said. “I quickly showed my sales manager.”
The masks are being manufactured in bulk in a factory in Brazil.
Isn’t this all a little… hypocritical?
The pro-Anonymous account @youranoncentral tried to stem Twitter’s tide:
“Hey look everyone, our masks were made in some factory in a developing nation. We are the only hypocrites.” (see here)
And a number of people came out with views similar to Reddit user sayheykid24, who wrote: “How do people think the masks were made? Did they think they were lovingly handcrafted by anti-corporate artisans, or something?”
It’s true that Anonymous are not the only hypocrites. But not all hypocrites are entirely dependent on having a moral leg to stand on. Some, like big corporations, have other resources. But punishing other people’s bad behaviour is Anonymous’s recruiting message – join them, they suggest, and you are on the side of the good guys. This means that the group stands and falls on its integrity – and if it can’t afford to play by it’s own rules, it certainly can’t afford to break them.
How can Anonymous break out of the system?
Just be careful who you buy the ink, pinter, paint and paper off?
PRIVATE Sidney Lewis enlisted with the East Surreys at Kingston in August, 1915. He would go on to fight in the Battle of the Somme with the 106th Machine Gun Corps.
Sidney Lewis was 12 years old.
JOEL Osteen has a message for thus Sunday. Joel’s co-host, Victoria Osteen, is very possible paid by the number of times she says “God”:
It’s easy to go through life looking in the rear-view mirror—focused on what didn’t work out, who hurt us, the mistakes we’ve made, or those we have lost. In this uplifting message, Joel wants to give you the tools to move forward in confidence into your bright future God has in store. He will show you biblical principles on how to let go and quit reliving the past so that we can receive the new things God wants to do in our lives and move forward into His blessings and goodness. Remember, as long as you keep replaying your past, you will stay the same. But if you are ready to walk in the new blessings God has for you, it’s time to move forward. And, it all begins with moving forward in your thoughts.
He’s not a work of parody. Honest:
WHEN is bus shelter not a bus shelter? When it is the victim of an alleged “assault”.
A man has been arrested on suspicion of assault after an incident at Bracknell bus station. Courtney Buses said some services were delayed after a man allegedly headbutted a bus and a bus shelter at 1.20pm on Thursday. A Thames Valley Police spokeswoman said officers were called at 1.22pm and a man was arrested on suspicion of assault.
THIS lamppost in Kelly Gardens, Oxley Park, Milton Keynes, is a lamppost. But the footpath on which it sits is not a pavement. It is a “service margin”.
THE Wallaby spotted hopping around Highgate Cemetery is dead.
The experts caught the marsupial – some say he’s the reincarnation of Karl Marx, TV prankster Jeremy Beadle or murdered KGB spy Alexander Litvinenko.