We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
WHY it’s good to own a gun… Ok. Maybe not good. Maybe, this video should be called ‘Why it’s useful to own a gun…’
ST. Patrick’s Day 2013 in photos: Pictures from celebrations of all things Irish and Catholic from New York, Tampa, Chicago, Savannah, Dublin and London. Says one local: “This year St Paddy won’t be banishing the snakes; he’ll be just moving them along to different parts of the country.” Happy, St Paddy’s. Make mine a Guinness:
Paramus, N.J. resident, James Dawson, 18, celebrates his Irish heritage wearing a horse's head with a green mustache, during the St. PatrickÃs Day Parade on New York CityÃs Fifth Avenue, Saturday, March 16, 2013. At right is Dawson's sister, 23 year old Lauren Dawson. (AP Photo/Verena Dobnik)
MADELEINE McCann: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at the missing child in the news. As another anniversary of her vanishing approaches, the mainstream media one again picks up the story:
The Sun: “Marathon gun nut’s threat to kill Kate”
Cops probe vile web death threat to mum of missing Madeleine
Who has threatened to murder Kate McCann? And why?
A SICK internet troll has threatened to gun down Kate McCann as she runs the London Marathon, it emerged yesterday.
LANCE Corporal James Ashworth, 23, of the 1st Battalion The Grenadier Guards has won the Victoria Cross. He was killed by a grenade blast in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, on June 13 2012.
GARY Dobson will not appeal his life sentence for his part in the murder of Stephen Lawrence. He’s dropped his appeal. Dobson, 36, and the connected David Norris, 35, were both imprisoned the 1993 murder of the black teenager.
But David Norris is appealing. Good. The thought of that odious scrote having his hopes raised and repeatedly dashed is satisfying.
Stephen Lawrence’s mother Doreen says of Dobson’s move:
“Now that Gary Dobson has dropped his appeal I can only assume it is because he has finally admitted he murdered Stephen. He could have done this much earlier and avoided the pain and heartache me and my family have had to suffer over so many years. I now hope that David Norris will do the same and avoid prolonging my pain. I also hope that those others who were involved on the 22nd April 1993 follow Gary Dobson’s lead and admit their own involvement.”
IN 1948, the sexually confused could take Psychoquiz to determine how masculine or feminine they were. Is your favourite movie star a guy or a girl? Do your enjoy reading The Winning Of The War in Europe & The Pacific or a still more romantic tome? Crabbing or dancing? Do you make slip covers or repair chairs? Flowers or vegetables? Plaid or flowery patterns? Do you take quizzes in magazine to check on your hormones?
TINA Weaver, 47, is the former Sunday Mirror editor arrested at her London home in the early hours as part of Operation Weeting, the police’s investigation into phone hacking. Weaver is a member of the Press Complaints Commission. Weaver is pregnant.
MID-Devon District Council has abolished the apostrophe from all new street names. This will “avoid potential confusion”. It does not say who might be confused.
Tiverton’s Beck’s Square and Blundell’s Avenue, and Cullompton’s St George’s Well were “all named many, many years ago”, and can retain their apostrophes. But new street names will not feature the grammar.
MAKE the link between two of today’s news stories:
…men who have served in the armed forces are three times more likely to have been convicted of violent offences than their civilian peers, according to a study published on Friday.
The report in the Lancet, the first to marry the experiences of almost 14,000 military personnel with details on the Police National Computer, also shows how troops who have been in combat are more likely to be involved in violent offending back in the UK.
THE best thing about this gigantic Cosplay Titan Sword – it’s a 5-foot long foam sword with built-in blue LEDs – is that it “splits into two pieces for easy transport”.
Why? Where do you take a 5ft long foam sword with LED lights built in? To a health a safety expo in Iraq?
YOU’VE heard the jokes about Scottish people being tight fisted. However, ‘throwing his money around like a Scotsman with no arms’ doesn’t hold any water when you discover that it is in fact the English who are tightwads.
On this Red Nose Day – the day where comedy raises money for good causes, yet weirdly, acts as the single most depressing day in the calendar – a study of British philanthropy found that the Scottish are much more generous than the folk south of the border.
MADELEINE McCCAN: Police are ‘hunting’ for 6 British cleaners. The Sun leads with :
“Maddie: hunt for 6 Brit cleaners”
These cleaners were working in Portugal around the time the child vanished. And, erm, that’s pretty much it.
Although, these six cleaners could be as many as eight.
POPE Francis fancied 12-year-old Amalia Damonte.
No, no! Well, before he became Pope at a sprightly 76 years young, the 120 year-old Master Jorge had a thing for Damonte, 76. No! She’s wasn’t 76 , then. She’s 76 now.
THIS image is taken from the website of Islamic Education and Research Academy. It is good to see Marge Simpson and her daughter Lisa getting on with their lives since the artist who did their features quit:
HOW do you defy ageism and sexism? Well, you can try working as a prostitute in Amsterdam. Louise and Martine Fokkens, 70, have been lying down on the job for 50 years. And, yes, the Fokkens are sisters (who both look like Brian Connolly, lead singer of 1970s glam rock outfit The Sweet.)
The Fokkens (I cannot tire of saying it) might be victims of nominative determinism, but their fate has serviced, by their estimated, 355,000 men.
Louise (mum to four) says some sexual positions make work “too painful”. Martine (mum to three) is running out of customers. She has her regular – the man who stocks up for his weekly sado-maschism session – but soon he’ll realise you can get that treatment on the NHS for free and leave her.
In photos: the Royal Marines Commando cold weather warfare camp, Norway (with epic Northern Lights show)
WITH the Royal Marines Commando Reservists to their training base in Norway. Exercise Hairspring 2013 focuses on cold weather survival and warfare training for Royal Marines Commando Reservists in the mountains range near to Porsanger Garrison near Lakselv, Norway.
FOX are, as we all know, completely mental and this week, they’ve outdone themselves while covering Women’s History Month.
Fox CT was reporting on a march in Connecticut, and what did they show while the report chirruped away? Super creepy close-up shots of women’s boobs. And these shots lasted for the entire duration of the segment. RIGHT ON WIMMIN!
SLOW news day? Worried that the plebs are getting restless? Then tell them things are okay because there are going to be lots more “significant” arrests in the wake of the Jimmy Savile scandal. These arrests will be in the “next few weeks”. Stay tuned, folks.
Nazir Afzal, chief crown prosecutor for north-west England, says child sex abuse was “more widespread than we ever imagined”.
POPE Francis looks like… Well, some say he looks bit like Jim Bowen, the super/smashing/great host of TV’s Bullseye. He does. A bit. But , then, a reader shows us that Pope Francis is none other than Jack Duckworth, the Coronation Street stalwart who shuffled off this mortal coil to be with his Vera. Gerra load of those bins.
TO prevent cheating, school officials in Sagore, central India, were ordered to strip to their underwear. Those boys not wearing vests (you can always trust a lad in a vest tucked smartly into his knickers) had to sit their exams bare chested.
Female students being tested at the same venue were allowed to reamin fully clothed.
TRACEY Randall, owner of the Minni Maid brothel – the only brothel in town – is packing up her bags and leaving Alice Springs. For Randall the “last straw” was when thieves stole a bag of vibrators, a strap-on phallus and condoms from her car.
Randall was with a client at the – get this – White Gum Motel when the robbers struck. She says:
“I’ve had enough of the violence and the crime in town and there’s nothing done about it. There’s one law for one and one law for others. People aren’t socialising anymore. They’re not leaving their homes because they come home and find their house violated.”
Randall, 48, says she will move to WA or Queensland and drive a truck.
“They’re crying out for female drivers. They feel females are easier on the vehicles.”
Although that depends which seat they’re in…
THE Falkland Islanders might have opted to remain a outcrop of Great Britain and Northern Ireland in a referendum, but God’s representative on Earth, Pope Francis, formerly Cardinal Bergogli, says Las Malvinas belong to Argentina.
He says his countrymen who died in the Falklands conflict 30 years ago “shed their blood on Argentine soil”.
“We come to pray for all who have fallen, sons of the homeland who went out to defend their mother, the homeland, and to reclaim what is theirs, that is of the homeland, and it was usurped.”
CARDINAL Bergoglio has been made Pope Francis. The NYTimes rakes over the coals of his time in Argentina. Christian Von Wernich was a police chaplain in that country. In 2007, the priest was convicted for part in seven murders, 42 abductions and 31 cases of torture during the 1976-83 “Dirty War”. People confided in Wernich. And he told all to the police.