Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Italian Wags Bet They Can Seduce Beckham
WHAT odds on David Beckham scoring off the field in Italy?
Stories abound that a coven of Italian WAGs have bet £20,000 on which of them can bed Becks.
Grazia magazine – “Euro WAG s hatch bet to bed David – see Becks working the tables at a cancer do, with “kisses”, “chat!” and “the odd shoulder squeeze”.
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F1 teams challenge new scoring system
THE new F1 season hasn’t even started and already it’s time to call in the lawyers.
A statement emailed to Anorak by McLaren’s PR office reveals that none of the F1 teams is happy with the FIA’s controversial new scoring system, which is based only on who wins the most races in a season.
The statement in full:
“Following the decision of the World Motorsport Council of the 17 March 2009 to change the way the drivers’ championship is awarded, the Teams gathered and unanimously agreed to question the validity of this decision.
FOTA had made a proposal that was carefully based on the results of a Global Audience Survey, which allowed listening to preferences of the public, and all the Teams firmly believe that these indications should be properly taken into account.
The amendment to the sporting regulations proposed by the World Motorsport Council was not performed in accordance with the procedure provided for by Appendix 5 of the Sporting Regulations and, as per the provisions of the article 199 of the FIA International Sporting Code, it is too late for FIA to impose a change for the 2009 season that has not obtained the unanimous agreement of all the competitors properly entered into the 2009 Formula 1 Championship.
Since the change to the scoring system unanimously agreed by the Teams and proposed to FIA did not receive approval of the WMSC, no change can occur in 2009, and the Teams wish to reaffirm their willingness to collaborate with the FIA in order to jointly define a new point system for the 2010 season within a comprehensive set of measures aimed at further stimulating the attractiveness of the F1 Sport.”
In other words, this could get messy. Fair enough too – the new system, which could see a world champion crowned just half-way through a season, is barmy.
Champions League quarter final draw
Here’s how the balls came out, so to speak:
Villarreal v Arsenal
Manchester United v FC Porto
Liverpool v Chelsea
Barcelona v Bayern Munich
(The winner of Villarreal v Arsenal will play the winner of Man Utd v Porto in one semi final, which means you don’t have to be a genius to guess what happens in the other side of the draw).
The Anorak verdict:
Not Liverpool v Chelsea again, please! – that was about the only requisite for this draw, and Uefa f**ked it up. We all know from previous experience that when those two teams meet in Europe they cancel each other out and you end up with football that no one wants to watch, not even some fans of the two clubs. What is this, like the 50th time they’ve met in the CL in the last few seasons. Almost, or that’s how it feels. For the record, Chelsea will pull off a minor shock by knocking out Liverpool.
The other English teams, Man Utd and Arsenal, must be very content to have drawn the so-called weaker teams left. United will surely be too strong for Porto, and Arsenal – who are getting stronger as the season goes on, albeit too late for their league chances – have more than a fighting chance of getting past Villarreal.
Posted: 20th, March 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (2)
White man can’t jump (with video evidence)
WHEN you’re pushing 7ft tall, as many basketball players do, dunking the ball is not that difficult. Finding new, athletic ways to dunk the ball – that’s not so easy, even for big men.
So hats off to Wyoming’s Adam Waddell, who has found a new way to send the basketball home. It’s not particularly safe, but it is new…
It’s a FAIL, but tinged with success.
Ten-pin bowlers brawl over etiquette
“Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!”
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FAIL! Boxer punches himself in the face
THIS is Tyson Fury. Yes, that’s his real name. No, you couldn’t make it up. He’s a rising star on the British boxing scene, which is not surprising given his awesome name.
We would like to tell him he’s the recipient of Anorak’s Fail of the Day, but he’s 6ft8in, built like a tank and from gypsy stock, so we wouldn’t mind if he never found out about this. It’ll be our little secret.
Watch the furious Tyson clock himself in the face, after the click…
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Prodigy Watch: white kids can’t jump, can shoot
BUT Dad, I just want to play with my toys.
Shut up and put the ball in the damned hoop, son. We’re headed for the NBA, you and me…
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Man Utd legend praised for the size of his bulge
WELL, we say legend but we actually mean Gary Pallister, who is considered one of United’s best central defenders of the last 30 years, if not quite an all-out legend.
Anyway, we demand that you check out what can happen when a live phone-in takes a weird turn…
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Manchester United Star Says It With Shrubs
WHICH Manchester United has had a giant shrubbery (isn’t ‘shrubbery’ a lovely word) spelling out MUFC planted on an embankment outside his Bolton mansion?
Those of you who know Man Utd’s players well will get this straight away.
Answer after the click…
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Dutch star invents new goal celebration
ANORAK was very tickled by Boudewijn Zenden’s goal celebration after he scored for Marseille against Paris Saint Germain. And everything was going so well until he jumped onto the box…
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Top five football spitters
ARSENAL star Cesc Fabregas has today been accused of spitting at Hull City’s assistant manager, Brian Horton, after the Gooners’ 2-1 FA Cup win on Monday. Fabregas has denied the allegation, but this nonetheless gives Anorak the chance to pay tribute to five great football gobbers…
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Posted: 18th, March 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (4)
The new worst dive in football history! (with video evidence)
THIS weekend, which Premier League star tried to win a penalty with the most outrageous dive you’ve ever seen? (Clue: it’s not Cristiano Ronaldo or Steven Gerrard).
The 10 Greatest Football Dives Ever
Find out after the click…
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FAIL! Man Utd warm-up singer has undesired effect
ANORAK has discovered the real reason why Man Utd were stuffed at home by arch rivals Liverpool…
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Posted: 17th, March 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (3)
BBC pundit compares football tackle to rape
ALAN Pardew’s punditry career is in the toilet – much like his managerial career, then – after he compared a Michael Essien tackle to “rape”. Oops.
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Posted: 17th, March 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
FA Hires Ray Winstone To Teach Parents Respect
THE FA has recruited Hollywood hardman Ray Winstone to front a section of the Football Association’s Respect campaign dealing with pushy parents.
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Footballer Erick Hernández Bounces Ball On Knee For Entire Match
ERICK Hernández, a Cuban footballer, has bounced ball on his knee for for one hour, 28 minutes and six seconds.
He does not once pass the ball. (Robbie Keane, now out of Liverpool, understands having been not passed to for hours stood on the Anfield turf.)
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Chief Kickingstallionsims And The Most Bizarre Names In Sport
CHIEF Kickingstallionsims plays for the Alabama State Hornets.
Great names in sport:
Ten Filthiest Names In Sport:
Gregor Fucka – Italian basketball player
Pete LaCock – Chicago Cubs basbeball player
Danny Shittu – Bolton Wanderers’ footballer
Lucious Pusey – Eastern Illiois Panthers player who changed his name to Lucious Seymour – Lucious Seymour Pusey.
Misty Hyman – Olympic Gold medal swimmer
Irina Slutskaya – Russian ice-skater
Ron Tugnutt – Ice-hockey player
Dick Butkus – American footballer
Radek Bonk – Ice hockey with Ottawa Senators
Stfgan Kuntz – German footballer
Beijing Olympics: Seven Names To Watch
ABINUWA Endurance : Nigeria- Athletics (Not in the marathon, more’s the pity, but the 4×400m)
KAMAKAZI: Australia Cycling – BMX
ANDRIAMANJATOARIMANANA Tojohanitra Tokin’ Aina: Madagascar- Swimming (Give me an “A”…)
WANG Qiang: China – Wrestling
WU You: China -Rowing (Knock, knock…)
MIAO Miao: Australia – Table Tennis
Posted: 16th, March 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Paul Gascoigne Died Three Times
PAUL Gascoigne “died three times in rehab”. It’s Gazza’s most memorable hat-trick since he won the league for Glasgow Rangers.
Sky Reports:
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The 10 Greatest Football Dives Ever
BANG! THE WORSE dive ever – Blackburn’s Morten Gamst Pedersen:
Knut Fostervold:
Chicago:
Critistiano Ronaldo
Gilardino
Emerson “piojo” Acuna – Penalty!
Lance ridículo do Escudero do Cúrinthians – lino!
Use the sink!
He shoots!
Klinnsman – the master
Iraqi Footballer Shot Dead By Fan
TO the match between Sinjar and Buhayra, two Iraqi football teams. The striker is shot dead by a fan.
Reports The Herald Sun:
AN Iraqi footballer was killed by a stray bullet when one of his team’s supporters fired off several rounds to celebrate their victory, police said.
The game had just ended in a 1-0 home win for Annana over Sinjar, neighbouring village teams west of Hilla city, police lieutenant Ali al-Khafaji said.
“A stray bullet hit Annana player Haider Hakem in the chest and he died,” Lieut Khafaji said.
Police arrested the suspected killer from Annana, a rural settlement near Hilla, 120km south of Baghdad. Fans often launch into a blaze of triumphal gunfire in Iraq when major league teams clash.
Or as the BBC puts it:
An Iraqi football player has been shot dead by a spectator as he was about to score an equalising goal.
The shooting happened in the last minute of a game between two local rivals on Sunday, police say
The sooner we gave goal line cameras, the better…
Posted: 15th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
Henrik Stenson’s Rules For Naked Golf (Video)
IF ever a thing were suited to hold all the evils ills, diseases, and burdensome labours of the world, then it is golf’s claret jug.
Here’s golfer Henrik Stenson stripping down to his white pants at the WGC-CA Championship on the Florida’s Blue Monster course.
Stenson’s ball has landed on mud in a water hazard and rather than getting his shoes and socks dirty removes them; and his tops and trousers.
Says he:
“Because of the mud I couldn’t really afford to play in any of my clothes as they would have been a real mess down the last six or so holes so I had no option. I was only wearing two things when I hit the shot, my jocks and my golf glove – that is the only thing that will appear in the picture aside from the golf club – just the way God created me.”
Golfers are born wearing pressed white Y-fronts and sporting a Three Iron, which may explain why golf widows look so pained.
Stenson has no tatoos, very little body hair and pinky-beige skin. He is the identikit naked golfer…
Tactician Jose Mourinho Accused Of Assault
DID Jose Mourinho lose more that his cool when his Inter Milan side lost to Manchester United in the Champions League?
Of course, Mourinho was never cool. He was tetchy and petulant, but thanks to those pauses in speech that make a foreign coach look thoughtful and an English coach thick and his nice scarf Mourinho was considered a spark of genius.
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Posted: 12th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (10)
Top 10 Cheltenham Festival Tips
Top 10 Cheltenham Festival Tips:
1. Don’t get hammered on the train down to Cheltenham, as so many people do. You’ll end up making silly bets and lose all your cash.
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Posted: 11th, March 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
FAIL: Footballer shows award-winning acting skills
IN which an Argentine player is whacked in the face by a linesman’s flag and goes down like he’s been shot. Except… er, the linesman never touched him. Watch it after the jump…
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Liverpool crush the meringues of Madrid (with video evidence)
LIVERPOOL made Real Madrid look like a non-league outfit last night. Anorak has never seen the mighty meringues of Real take such a beating.
Fair play to Rafa Benitez for switching up his tactics. Liverpool didn’t have to attack after the first leg win in Spain but his team simply blitzed Real from the first minute. Were it not for Iker Casillas, Liverpool might have won by six or seven goals.
Full video highlights after the jump (Juventus v Chelsea too)
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Posted: 11th, March 2009 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
