Supreme Court Closer Than Ever To Sanctioning Anna Nicole Smith’s Vulva-Shaped Theme Park (Photos)

UP in Heaven, where Anna Nicole Smith lives on God’s knee and every man is an ancient billionaire on his last legs, there is much wailing and and gnashing of teeth. Smith’s estate has lost an appeal to get a slice of her dead husband’s fortune.

J Howard Marshall left most of his cash to E. Pierce Marshall, his son. Smith, who married the 89-year-old when she was 26, got nothing but the flakes of dried skin on her bed sheets and a lingering smell of boiled cabbage. She was displeased. She said Marshall had promised to give her $300m as fair reward for their 14 month-long marriage – the kind of shag-to-cash ratio that Coleen Rooney should note.

Then Smith went and died three years ago. She bequeathed the allegedly promised $300m to her heirs. She might also have revealed news that the City of New York had promised to give her a statue, the Queen Mother had left her her teeth and gin bottle collection and Princess Diana’s last words were “Anna, to you the warm knickers and rights to my signature perfume and inflatable doll”. But one thing at a time. Smith’s estate wants more than the $7m she got from Marshall in gifts.

Anorak

Posted: 24th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

The Real Story Of How Michael Jackson Died

FOLLOWING the death of Michael Jackson for any of at least any of these five reasons, we wonder what next for the resting star, and how long before we read about the real reasons Michael Jackson died?

Five things to look out for in the post-Michael Jackson media:

1. The Lovers

You can’t libel the dead so here’s to men and women and children and pets that can communicate through pet psychics coming forward to say that Jackson loved them and how this child is his. Look out for the first media interview with Jordy Chandler.

2. The Conspiracy.

Anorak

Posted: 26th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (15)

Lawyer: Michael Jackson Death Same As Anna-Nicole Smith

MICHAEL Jackson’s lawyer says his death was the result of his preparations for his London gigs next month and the drugs he was downing to kill pain from stage training injuries.

Jackson had plunged back into a regimen of pain-killer popping after injuries while trying get into shape for his comeback.

Anorak

Posted: 26th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

Anna Nicole Smith And Nadya Suleman’s Backdoor Gangbang

WITH new life breathed into the Anna Nicole Smith Story, Anroak’s Man In LA looks at how TMZ is now setting the news agenda for the New York Times. Corporate media truly is in a state of crisis:  

Anorak

Posted: 14th, March 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Anna Nicole Smith’s Boyfriend Gave Her Drugs After She Died

ANNA Nicole Smith’s former boyfriend Howard K. Stern has been arrested. As the AFP puts it:

The late Anna Nicole Smith’s boyfriend and two doctors have been charged with illegally providing the ex-Playboy model with addictive prescription drugs two years after she died of an overdose.

Why drug her after she’s already dead? Curious stuff.

In showbiz you’re never really dead until your agent says so. And right now Anorak and many other news organistions are making a vow to their readers that, unlike last time when the Iraq war intervened, they will be giving the Anna Nicole story the time in deserves.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)