Posts Tagged ‘Daily Star’
Arsenal’s pussycats beaten by Manchester City’s pluck, luck and lions
Arsenal lost to Manchester City in yesterday’s battle of the Middle Eastern Airlines – Etihad 2, Emirates 1 – and look well set to secure 4th place, a slot they’ve occupied so many times you wonder when the Premier League will award it to them in perpetuity. But Arsenal manger Arsene Wenger is unhappy. It’s a “REFFFING DISGRACE”, says the Sun as Wenger “rages at officials” over City’s two “offside” goals.
“There is a real problem of refereeing in England, they are a bit in their comfort zone,” says Wenger. “Referees are protected like the lions in the zoo… I looked at the goals – both are offside. The second is five yards offside but what can you do?”
The second strike, by Raheem Sterling, was clearly offside. Arsenal goalkeeper Petr Cech says David Silva’s dash into his line of vision – making the Spaniard around 5 yards offside – meant he could not see the shot that beat him at the near post. In “Offside? No way” the Sun lets former ref Mark Halsey rule on the goals. He says Leroy Sane, who scored City’s first, was “fractionally offside”. The story should be headlined ‘Offside? Yes.’ But Halsey decides the officials got it right in getting it wrong. He then says Cech is wrong – Silva’s run across him for goal number two did not interfere with his line of vision.
On pages 52 and 53, David Kidd says Wenger is just a moaner, Arsenal are “not fit to lace” Chelsea’s boots and Sane was “onside”.
Picking up the “lions” theme, the Star says Arsenal are more “pussycats” than kings of the jungle. The team lack “bottle and fight”. They need a “miracle” if they are to win the Premier League. As ever, says the paper, Arsenal started well and then faded as the home side got improved. Arsenal “shied away from the scrap”. Arsenal’s most expensive player, Mesus Oil “was anonymous”. No. He was worse than that. He was a liability, failing to chase the ball and close down the opposition. Players will run through walls for Chelsea boss Antonio Conte. For Wenger, they won’t step through a puddle.
The Express also leads with the match. We read that Leroy Sane was offside and David Silva was “clearly in an offside position – and distracting Petr Cech – as Raheem Sterling fired home the second”. But “there is no excuse for Arsenal’s failure to force a save out of Claudio Bravo in the second half”. The result, says Richard Tanner, underlines the “difference in attitude” between the two sides. Manchester City wanted it. Arsenal not so much. For that lack of desire, the club must look at Arsene Wenger. Can he still inspire his team to the title? No. Can he make more money for the bankers who run the club as a cash cow? Yes.
Posted: 19th, December 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Manchester City, Sports | Comment
There’s No One Quite Like Piers Morgan: Cruz Beckham and deprived kids attacked over cynical stunt
David and Victoria Beckham “pimped out Cruz for Xmas,” declares the Daily Star. The 11-year-old has released a Christmas single. And morning TV presenter Piers Morgan is aghast. Morgan says the “sickening” and “cynical” single is a “tool” to “boost Brand Beckham”.
Consider it boosted. On page 3, there’s more on Cruz and his new manager, a bloke called Scooter who also manages Justin Bieber.
The Mirror leads with “Too young?”, inviting readers to consider if the world needs another child singing sensation with a Christmas hit. Wasn’t the St Winifred’s School Choir’s seasonal smash hit There’s No One Quite Like Grandma enough?
Over pages 14 and 15, the Mirror asks, “Is it too soon for Cruz Beckham to be a Spice Boy?”
As the Mirror considers the 11-year-old’s career to date – miracle birth; being given a surname for a first name; growing hair; 7 times table – deep in the story we learn that Cruz is doing it for charity. Proceeds from his song will help disadvantaged young children.
Would you see Cruz silenced and the bairns go without? It’s not about him. It’s about them. Although it might really be about Piers Morgan.
Posted: 8th, December 2016 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Scarlett Moffatt: the fix, the fake, the OK! wedding and shoes you can see your titties in
Now that Scarlett Moffatt is a bonafide celebrity on account of her victory in I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!, instead of just a ‘normal’ young woman watching them on the Gogglebox telly, the tabloids set about here. Over pages 4 and 5, the Star labels Scarlett a “Fake”. “Lift selfies show champ was milking it big time,” says one headline. “Queen Scarlett Faked Her Fear,” thunders another.
Scarlett Moffatt and Vicky Pattison have “kicked off a fierce rivalry” we’re told. How so? “Last year’s winner [that’s Vicky] was blasted for ‘plonking’ the crown on new queen Scarlett’s head.” And that’s not all. At the after show party Vicky and Scarlett “were not snapped together”.
Having positioned two young women as catty rivals – plus ca change – the Star then turns to the fakery. “Apparently pictures of Scarlett in a lift prove she was faking it when she told her “celebrity pals throughout the show she had a phobia of confined spaces”. You might argue that being “sealed inside a coffin like space” and “covered in creepy-crawlies” is not quite the same as pouting in a lift. But Scarlett is quoted as having said: “I feel I can do this because I might finally be able to go in lifts.”
Like Tom Cruise’s lifts, what goes up, will eventually come down, so we get news that this is “the latest in a string of claims that the show was fixed in her favour.” You mean it’s edited? You mean it’s not a fly on the gonads slice of life? You mean focusing on the single young woman gets more viewers than listening to the sixty-something bit-part EastEnders actor moaning at the needy middle-aged bloke off the mid-morning property show?
I mean would Danny Baker be subject to the Sun’s front-page headline, “I’ll spend winnings on caravan and new boobs”? Says Danny, sorry Scarlett: “Now thats I’ve lost weight, and my titties are cleaning my shoes, I would like them lifted to where they are meant to be.” All over Page 3?
And on the Mirror’s Page 1, where the boring bloke whose girlfriend shagged John Terry (allegedly), sorry, Scarlett is talking of her fantasy “Willy Wonka wedding”. She wants a wedding just like Jordan and Peter Andre’s do. Yeh, she wants OK! to pay for it.
Of course Scarlett was installed as ITV’s preferred winner. The rest of them were a mixture of man-children, TV-creations with lower profiles than a soup spoon and dullards. As the Sun says, out of 500 visits to the Bush Telegraph room, “whip-smart” Scarlett made 104 of them. She talked to us. And we enjoyed listening to her.
Posted: 6th, December 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Tabloids | Comment
Arsenal put West Ham boss on the ‘brink’ of getting chairman’s understanding
Arsenal tonked West Ham united 5-1 at the Hammers’ soulless Olympic Stadium – hear the Arsenal fans singing “Is this the Emirates?” – and the tabloids are full of speculation. Is West Ham manager Slaven Bilic soon to be sacked?
“Bilic on the brink,” says the Mirror. “His job is understood to be hanging by a thread.”
“Slaven’s still safe,” counters the Star. “Slaven Bilic is safe at West Ham”, says the paper. “It is understood West Ham’s owners are ready to keep faith with him as they still believe the Croat can turn things around.”
“Bilic’s job is not under any immediate threat,” adds the Mail.
In short: nothing has changed. Bilic is the West Ham manager.
Posted: 5th, December 2016 | In: Back pages, Sports | Comment
Scarlett Moffatt on her way to marriage, a first million and tabloid fame
Ant is delighted
“Find out what Scarlett Moffat will not next,” says the Daily Star on its front page. Judging by the picture of the Googlebox star and now I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here! winner in her bra and knickers, we’d says ‘put some cloths on’ or ‘catch a cold’. On page 4 and 5, Scarlett is a “Celebridey”. Aha! She’s going to get married!
Scarlett Moffatt is “heading down the aisle”, says the paper in an “exclusive”. Well, it is to anyone not following Luke Crodden, Scarlett’s boyfriend, on twittter, and didn’t see him tweet: “I think I wanna marry you @ScarlettMoffatt.” If that was a proposal, it’s one Scarlett didn’t see on account of her being in a televised jungle clearing with neither phone signal nor phone.
The Mirror, which also leads with Scarlett, says she’s in line for a £1m deal. In an “exclusive” Halina Watts, says Scarlett has “revealed her big plan for the future – to team up with Ant and Dec. Imagine handing out with those boys all day and having a laugh,”says Scarlett, exclusively in the Mirror. “I’d love it.”
That’s not all that exclusive to Daily Star readers who read the exact same dream on November 22, then billed as her “threesome” with Ant and Dec. Scarlett fans will have read that before when she said it in her book published last April.
Exclusive – Daily Mirror December 5 2016
Not exclusive – Daily Star November 22, 2016
Over in the Star, we read that Scarlett is due to earn £1m in endorsements and TV deals. As well she might. Last year’s I’m A Celebrity winner Vicky Pattison told the Mirror in March 2016: “I’ve just about hit the 7-figure mark for the first time. But I’m being wise with my money. I’ve been very well advised and I’m turning myself into a bit of a property tycoon.”
Find out what Scarlett does next by visiting her local estate agency.
Posted: 5th, December 2016 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
I’m A Celebrity: Ola Jordan in tabloid sex toy pregnancy shocker
The Daily Star has news on Ola Jordan, the former Strictly Come Dancing hoofer now being portrayed as a sex goddess, as her her contract with high-street seller of martial aides. On its front page the Star tells readers “randy dance babe” Ola “leapt straight into bed” with her husband “minutes” after getting voted off I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.
Like most of you, we thought pot-eviction the celeb were duty bound to chat with Ant and Dec. Maybe it was foursome? As we wonder what foe son just off camera, over pages 4 and 5 we see Ola and hear her reveals all about the sex – “He did get a kiss and a cuddle.”
But that’s not all. The Star has how it”exclusively revealed that Ola was set to become a mum after her jungle stint and last night the star confirmed the news.”
Wow! She went into the jungle knowing she was pregnant? Er, no. Says Ola: “Yes I would like to be a mum one day.” Best give those “sex toys” a rest, love. They don’t come pre-loaded.
Posted: 30th, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment
Dr Morton’s rings The Donald Trump Death Cult
More on the Donald Trump Death Cult – an occasional look at media chatter on Trump’s demise. The Star being news that the US President-elect will “DIE ON THE JOB”. Jeff Farrell hears that that Trump is at “Significant risk” of dying – “if the workload as the next US president does not give him a heart attack, his missus could”.
This news comes from two medics.
First up is Dr Karen Morton, billed as a “cardiologist”. There is no word that she’s ever met Trump let alone treated him. But Dr Karen has seen enough to tells us that Melania Trump will “make certain demands as a young woman in her prime”. Lest you think Dr Karen is a ghoul, she adds, “Let’s hope he doesn’t die on the job.”
The second expert is Dr Patrick Heck. He’s quoted as having told a medial conference: “He [Trump] is surely at a significant risk of a heart attack”.
Over the Express, Dr Karen is no longer a cardiologist, but “Gynaecologist Dr Karen Morton, of Dr Mortons”.
Dr Morton’s is a private medial service. We were quoted a fee of £10 per minute to speak to a doctor, after registering. An email consultation will set us back £25. The receptionist told us that, to the best of her knowledge, Dr Morton has not treated Donald Trump, father to a young child who will be surely delighted to know that such fine minds are discussing his dad’s death in the media.
It’s all done in the best possible taste, of course.
Posted: 24th, November 2016 | In: Politicians, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Arsenal, PSG and the case of the missing Serge Aurier
Drama ahead of tonight’s Champions’ League between Arsenal and Paris St Germain. In an “EXCLUSIVE”, the Star thunders: “Serge Aurier’s career could be ruined after he was banned from entering Britain to face Arsenal tonight.”
You can read the same story on the Sun’s back page, where Arsenal’s hopes have received a boost from the Home Office. Aurier has been banned from entering the UK as a result of his conviction for assaulting a police officer in Paris. In September the 23-year-old Ivorian was found guilty of elbowing his victim as he left a Paris nightclub in May. He was sentenced to two months in jail and fined €600.
The club have not sacked him. The incident has not left his carder in ruins. But, apparently, not playing Arsenal might.
The Star’s twist on the story is based on the words of Aurier’s lawyer, Claire Boutaud de la Combe, who “fears it could leave his career in tatters”. Really?
“Under France law he remains innocent until this appeal has been heard,” says de la Combe. “But such an appeal can take quite a long time, especially in Paris. It will take several months, maybe one year. We don’t understand why this has become a problem, there is no reason for his. Now this is a worry because maybe it will stop him being able to travel to other countries to play for PSG or the Ivory Coast because they will also not allow him entry.”
In February, PSG suspended Aurier for a Champions’ League match against Chelsea following comments he made about the coach, Laurent Blanc, and his team-mates on social media. The season before that, Uefa banned Aurier for three matches ‘after last season’s Champions League game against Chelsea following a video posted on Facebook in which he labelled the referee Bjorn Kuipers a “dirty son of a bitch” over the sending-off of his team-mate Ibrahimovic.’
PSG are getting used to playing Champions’ League matches without Aurier, who is, nonetheless, picked to play when not banned. His career is not in tatters. Far from it.
Oh, and to put the tin lid on this balls, note that the source is the Star, the paper that told us – yep – Aurier agreed to join the Gunners is 2014.
A fact echoed by the Star’s sister paper, the Express:
Aurier singed for PSG.
Posted: 23rd, November 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
I’m A Celebrity threesome shocker: Scarlett Moffatt has Ant’s in her pants
Can you trust front-page headlines? The Daily Star’s cover story is that Ant and Dec have been in a “threesome” with “Jungle Scarlett”. Life moves pretty fast for Ant and Dec, the TV duo who just yesterday were triggering a “race storm” with “sensitive” Australians. Todays it’s a threesome with Scarlett, whose full name and title is “camp President Scarlett Moffat”.
Over two pages of I’m A Celebrity news, readers scan for sign of the threesome. And in the small print on page 5, we find it. Scarlett Moffat, “star” of TV’s Gogglebox “reckons she should team up with Ant and Dec as a Geordie trio”. For sex, right? For a threesome?
No. Scarlett made her views known not in the I’m A Celebrity jungle, rather in a book, in which she opined: “Imagine handing out with those boys all days and having a laugh.”
Yeah, just imagine that. Although if you’re a Daily Star reader, you’re most likely blown 30p imagining so much more.
Posted: 22nd, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment
Meghan Markle and Jamie Vardy in ridiculous tabloid plot
Meghan Markle is to play Jamie Vardy’s wife in a film. Well, so says the Daily Star. And who better than Prince Harry’s latest flame to pump the air as her man scores for Leicester City.
In scene 1, the actress is speaking to the News of the World. It’s 2001. “He had great muscles and I thought he’d be a great lover,” she says. “He was the worst lover I have ever had. He didn’t even attempt to satisfy me.” Whoah. Stop nodding Chelsy Davy. Meghan is reading the script from Rebekah Vardy’s insight into her time with sentimental pop acorn Peter Andre.
Of course it’s utter tosh. Markle has not been given the role. The Star only “reckons” Meghan would make a good Rebekah. After all both are dark hairs divorcees with a random ‘h’ in their names.
But being light on facts fails to stop the story gaining momentum. “Prince Harry’s girl Meghan Markle will play Jamie Vardy’s wife in new movie,” thunders the Mirror. “Meghan Markle being lined up to play Jamie Vardy’s wife in Hollywood flick,” cries the Sun.
The Mirror nails how Hollywood casting work when it says, “with Meghan being 35-years-old, she’s just one year older thank Rebekah so would be well suited to playing the Leicester City hero’s missus.” The Sun’s story is based on the Mirror’s story, which is based on the Star’s story – which is based on not a single attributable quote or fact.
Rebekah Vardy is 34.
Posted: 15th, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Grab Her By The Pussy: Donald Trump inspires tabloid sex crimes and porn
It’s Day 1 in the World According to Donald Trump and already his fellow reality TV stars are feeling the aftershock. President Trump’s catchphrase – “Grab her by the pussy” – is all over the Daily Star.
“Cami Lee sexually assaulted: Big Brother star molested as boyfriend slept beside her,” says the paper.
Like most of you, we too have no idea who Cami Lee is. Helpfully, she recognises this and introduces herself.
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Cami Li, reporting live from Las Vegas. Think tatts, boobs, and more opinions than Katie Hopkins and Piers Morgan put together.
Are her boobs larger than Morgan’s? Dunno. Is she tattier than Hopkins? Not sure? Is she cheaper to have write for your organ than both of them? Says Cami:
So, what could I possibly have to talk about? Well, a f*** load of s***.
If Cami is cheaper that Hopkins and Morgan, and paid by the word, swearing just cost her a couple of quid. She then goes into flashback mode. It’s a deeply unpleasant story.
I, for one, became more passionate about politics after these five (now infamous words) were splashed across the world, “grab her by the p****”.
Cami is in bed. A man is in her room. He is making unwelcome advances.
The freak of nature slips his hands under my jeans, caresses my butt, then tries to make his way to the motherland. He attempts to slide one finger, and for once, I am thankful I ate too much and am bloated with wine, as my jeans are too tight, with little room to move around.
Once he realises he wouldn’t get away with his perversion without waking me up, he retreats. While the ordeal may’ve lasted a few minutes, it has scarred me for an eternity.
After this alleged assault, Cami relates a bout of violence with the middle-aged “beast”. “My boyfriend punched him, knocked him to ground, then the door was slammed repeatedly,” she writes. “Open, close, open, close, open, close.” Next days the man seeks medical help for a broken eye-socket
Cami says she old the authorities but a lack of funds meant she was unable to pursue the matter further. “At that time in my life, I wasn’t financially able to retain a lawyer and fight this rich couple, so I had to hang my head in defeat and walk away,” she writes.
Cami concludes her tale:
Take a step back, look in the mirror, male or female, we’re the change the world needs to see. Women’s rights are human rights. There are too many Donald Trumps in this world.
In other unrelated news, we read that back in April, Daily Star owner Richard Desmond “cut his last remaining ties to the pornography industry, selling adult entertainment channels including Television X, Viewers’ Wives and Red Hot.”
Good for him. Those channels have not alway shown the good stuff.
The Guardian reported:
A viewer of adult subscription channel Television X had complained after a baby’s legs were caught on camera for a few seconds in the background of a scene in which three women were simulating lesbian sex. The baby could also be heard out of shot, gurgling and crying, later in the scene, which was filmed in a bedroom for Television X’s Viewers’ Tapes programme.
The channel apologised.
This week you can watch on Channel X:
Sexual Predator: “Jay Romer came for the thrill of the hunt… to f*** his female prey. In his sexual underworld there are no rules, just his desire to ravage beautiful women… Through the urban London jungle Jason poses as a photographer to bang Michelle B. he acts as a barman to plough into Elizabeth Michelle Lawrence… He buries his thick **** into Evie’s tight hole while still looking for his next victim!“
Looks like women were victims before Trump came along.
Posted: 10th, November 2016 | In: Celebrities, Politicians, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Eddie Redmayne and Hannah Bagshawe’s baby surprises Daily Star readers
News in the Star that Eddie Redmayne and his wife Hannah Bagshawe are now parents.
The Star is so delighted with the news it illustrates the story with a picture of, er, Donna Air and James Middleton, brother to Pippa and Kate.
Let’s hope their new daughter Iris makes a better job of recognising the proud parents.
Posted: 20th, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Transfer balls: Manchester United chase Bale with reasons
Transfer balls: The Daily Star says Gareth Bale will join Manchester United this summer. Bale, will – get this – leave Real Madrid, where he’s won two Champions’ Laegue medals and seen his star rise, to play for United in the Europa League.
United will pay Real £94.6m for Bale who is – get this II – “keen to return to England”. Colin Harvey adds, Bale will be “United boss Jose Mourinho’s marquee signing this summer”. A marquee is a large tent. Bale to United is a fantasy.
The Star’s scoop is a rehash of a report in Spain’s El Confidencial. Over there we learn from Kike Marin (via Google translate):
Gareth Bale is back in the crosshairs of Manchester United , but this time in the offices of Old Trafford are convinced that his move is feasible…. the Welshman is eager to return to the Premier League…
It is known that Florentino Perez feels predilection for the Welshman, who has always seen as the heir to Cristiano Ronaldo, although Bale asks him to return home, neither will be easy for the president to keep him…
Is Marin right? His report contains no word from anyone. His track record is a little mixed. And then there is the Star:
Oh, and this is what Bale said on May 26th:
“I feel much more comfortable this year, it’s true. You can notice that on the pitch. I feel more integrated, I have more personal relationships with my team-mates and that always gives you more happiness and that reflects on my game. I’m enjoying myself a lot in Madrid and I hope this continues for many years.”
He’s chomping at the bit.
Posted: 11th, June 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Out to lunch: fire at Dusseldorf refugee camp overcooks small portions
In Dusseldorf, Germany, a refugee camp has burned to the ground. Why?
Daily Star: “FASTING FURIOUS – A refugee camps was burned down by hungry migrants after they missed their Ramadan breakfast. They claimed nobody work them in time to eat before beginning their Islamic dawn-to-dusk fast.”
The camp is “home to 280 refugees”
BBC: “Ramadan meal row ‘prompted German fire’ at Duesseldorf shelter”
German investigators “say a group of men who were not fasting had complained that their lunch portions were too small.”
Such are the facts.
Mourinho v Carneiro: Chelsea ‘whores’ and Chelsea ‘girls’
Former Chelsea team doctor Eva Carneiro is at an employment tribunal. Did former Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho call her “daughter of a whore” who was only suited to working with the juniors or the “ladys [sic]”? Mourinho, now at Manchester United, might not care about the ruling. After all, the case hasn’t prevented him from joining Manchester United.
The Times says Carneiro rejected an offer for £1.2m to settle out of court. She claims constructive dismissal against Chelsea. She also claims, in another case, that Mourinho targeted her for sexual discrimination.
You will recall, of course, how this nasty row started last August, when Mourinho, the then Chelsea boss, hurled abuse at Carneiro as she raced onto the pitch to treat Chelsea player Eden Hazard. Mourinho says he yelled “filho da puta” (son of a bitch). She says he yelled “filha da puta” (daughter of a bitch or daughter of a whore).
What Mourinho did say, after Carneiro was banished from the bench, was, “She works in academy team or lady [sic] team not with me.”
Such are the facts.
And what of the reporting on alleged sexism in football? Well, the Star pretty much carries on regardless. An educated women in her early middle-age is a “girl doc”:
Posted: 7th, June 2016 | In: Chelsea, Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Manchester United footballer and the not secret ‘secret baby’
The Daily Star leads with news of a Manchester United “Star Love Rat’s Secret Baby”. The star love rat is Marcos Rojo, whose secret baby is being carried by his, er, wife Eugenia Lusardo. She kept the “secret” by posting a posting a baby scan photo online.
The Star’s hook is that married Rojos once obtained an injunction against a woman he’d shagged, one Sarah Watson, from telling her story. That was overturned. She told her story and aside form the injunction element, we yawned at it.
Instead of news of a extra-martial sex by a famous face who milks his family man credentials for profit and fame, we get legal wrangling and Marcos Rojo, a footballer with the celebrity profile and news value of a spoon.
Posted: 31st, May 2016 | In: manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment
Madonna fury: Rocco should stick to weed and ditch the fags
“ROCCO and Roll Up!” invites the Star’s front-page headline. “Madge fury at teen son’s booze and cigs.”
We hear you, Madonna, aka Madge the Vadge. What self-respecting cool kid drinks and smokes when they could be experimenting with smarts drugs and pour grade-A medications?
Madonna, we learn, is “fuming” 15-year-old son Rocco has been “snapped under a bridge in London swigging from a bottle and puffing on a suspicious-looking cigarette.” A suspicious looking cigarette is, of course, a cigarette, a Government-taxed cancer stick. A proper roll-up contains pure marijuana, a healthy substance (see Colorado State medical advice).
Posted: 16th, April 2016 | In: Broadsheets, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Spider bite transforms Wrexham football into a ‘footie ace’
Who is the “footie ace” eaten by spiders? It’s there on the front page of the Daily Star – “Killer Spider Eats Footies Ace.” Has Wayne Rooney been trapped in a spider’s web? Reading on we learn that the ace is Wrexham striker James Gray. That’s G… R…A…Y. Wrexham play in the National League, four notches below the Premier League.
He was less eaten than he was bitten on the arm by a false widow spider. It;s nasty little critter. James developed an infection. He was rushed to hospital, where the poison was cut out.
Nasty. But is the false black widow really a killer spider? the NHS tells us:
According to the Natural History Museum, false widow spiders, so-called because of their similarity to the more poisonous black widow spider, are the main culprits and typically give bites that cause pain, redness and swelling.
Boots the chemist adds:
The effect of a bite is unlikely to be worse than being stung by a wasp or bee and results in pain, redness and swelling.
In other news: Footballer in English football’s fifth division bitten by spider. Or how about, Spider bite transforms Wrexham football into a ‘footie ace’?!
Posted: 27th, February 2016 | In: Back pages, Tabloids | Comment
Madeleine McCann: Katie Hopkins finds ‘Maddie’ on the other side
Madeleine McCann: a look at reporting on the missing child.
Daily Star (front page): “Maddie: Parents ‘blamed'”
For what? Why? But whom? We soon get to know:
Katie Hopkins sparks fury by saying Maddie McCann’s parents ‘must share blame’
Katie Hopkins, for those of you blessedly not in the know, is a former contestant on The Apprentice TV show – the one on which ‘driven’ people try to win a job working for Alan Sugar in a Brentwood office block. Hopkins lost but did score a job belching ‘controversial’ opinions to deadline for the Sun newspaper and, remarkably, a TV show of her own. That all ended, meaning Katie now shouts exclusively on free-to-air Twitter.
The Star thinks her tweets worthy of its front page. Robin Cottle has created a story from a tweet:
She claimed Kate and Gerry McCann should take some blame for her disappearance.
Oh?
The 41-year-old also insisted the heartbroken couple did not “deserve” the £11million of taxpayers’ cash shelled out to search for Madeleine.
This is in the Star, which once libelled Kate and Gerry McCann.
One Twitter user wrote: “Katie Hopkins victim blaming the McCanns suggests people have no self control, the blame lies with whoever wrongly took what wasn’t theirs.”
Good grief. This story had not made any progress.
Another added: “Yes they made a mistake. Thousands do the same every day and get away with it. Cruel for Hopkins to rub salt in it surely. How did she become our moral guide?”
Answer: when the Star wanted cheap filler.
But some supported the outspoken celeb, with one saying: “Agree with absolutely everything @KTHopkins has said about Maddie’s disappearance, she’s only saying what the rest of you think anyway.”
Always useful when talking of “outrage” to report both sides of the shouting match.
Having seduced readers with a limp story on the missing child, the report takes a jerking twist:
Madeleine went missing during a family holiday in Praia de Luz, Portugal, almost nine years ago. Meanwhile, Hopkins announced yesterday that she was about to go under the surgeon’s knife to cure her epilepsy.
“Meanwhile…” Even the Dallas TV show (‘Meanwhile…back at the Ranch’) didn’t jump around like a demented kangaroo – which might very well be writing both the Star’s reports and Katie’s tweets.
She told fans she will “see them on the other side” and claimed not to be scared about the brain operation.
For those of you not on Twitter, ‘the other side’ is thought to be a reference to Facebook.
Posted: 23rd, February 2016 | In: Celebrities, Madeleine McCann, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Rita Ora is topless (but not on Page 3)
By now you’ll have seen the photos of Rita Ora, the stalwart of family Saturday night telly, posing topless. But you’ve still not seen her bare nipples in the Daily Star. And that’s odd because the Daily Star is, as it declares on the cover, “Home Of The Page 3 Girl”.
On today’s Page 1 and Page 3, Star readers can see Ora – not topless – but ‘Tops”.
Posted: 20th, February 2016 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Transfer balls: Leroy Sane to Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool and wherever else the SEO machine sends him
Transfer Balls: The Daily Star has conjured a headline to seduce fans of the five biggest Premier League clubs to a non-news story:
Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Man City and Man Utd in epic transfer fight for German whizz
Alex Harris writes:
Mundo Deportivo claim Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City and Manchester United are all in the hunt for the Schalke attacking midfielder.
The SEObot that might well be operating Harris won’t bother to follow the link. But we will. Over there we hear from one Oriol Domenech, who says Real Madrid and Barcelona are in for Leroy Sane.
Number of quotes to support his story: nil. Number of facts of any sort in either story: nil.
In other news, the Mail asks today: “Is Leroy Sane really worth £42m?”
Dunno.
But the clickbait-bonkers International Business Times say he isn’t, declaring in a headline: “Barcelona spy on Schalke 04 starlet Leroy Sane in Bundesliga match ahead of £28.8m summer move.”
A summer move – but to where – and for how much?
Posted: 18th, February 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Madeleine McCann: The twins’ ‘secret’ that isn’t
Madeleine McCann: a look at reporting on the child who vanished in 2007.
Daily Star (front page): “MADDIE: Twins Secret torment”
The twins are the child’s siblings Sean and Amelie. Kate McCann has “for the first time revealed” what the children, aged 11, “feel about their sister’s disappearance”. Not true. In November 2009, the Mirror told us:
Madeleine McCann’s four-year-old twin siblings are now slowly grasping the horror of her abduction, their parents revealed yesterday. Heart specialist Gerry revealed: “They’re saying, ‘When we find who took her we will fight them’. That doesn’t come directly from us saying that.
And right at the start, back in 2007, the Sun told us:
“MADDIE COME HOME – Amelie hugs Maddie’s cuddle cat.”
The story of what Amelie and Sean feel continues on Page 8. The headline declares: “Kate: Twins Want Sister Maddie Back.” Not really a shock that, is it. Kids can be unpredictable and cruel, but no-one really expected the headline to declare the children happy their innocent sister is not by their side.
Matthew Young writes:
Madeleine McCann’s siblings says they wants her back. Parents Kate and Gerry have told twins Amelie and Sean, now 11, all about missing Maddie.”
At 11, you’d suppose they also read about her on the internet and, maybe, in newspapers – although what any child is doing with the Daily Star is one for the health experts.
Eventually we hear from Mrs McCann, whose words gave the Star a front-page scoop. “There is nothing kept from them,” she says. “They still raise money at school for the Find Madeleine Fund, which is great.”
In no other newspapers are Kate McCann’s words mentioned, let alone turned into a front-page sensation. Is the Daily Star attempting to make up for libelling the McCanns by keeping their missing child’s name in the news? Or is it just lazy reporting?
Posted: 18th, February 2016 | In: Madeleine McCann, Reviews | Comments (3)
Unbiased Daily Star says owner Richard Desmond’s lottery better than National Lottery
The Daily Star leads with National Lottery news. The headline thunders: “Angry Brits Says Balls To ‘No Win’ Lottery!”
Brits are “fuming” at the long odds on winning millions on the lottery. One Daily Star hack reckons he has more chance of getting a raise than he does of winning £10.
One Page 5, readers are told that punters are turning to “lottery tourism”, snapping up tickets in foreign prize draws which offer better odds on winning. “Disgusted players are also switching to other home-grown games,” notes Craig Saunders, “such as the Health Lottery.”
At no point does Craig point out that the Health Lottery is owned by Richard Desmond’s Northern and Shell. You know him – he owns the Daily Star…
Warning: Big Foreign Worms Invading Britain
Big news in the Daily Star: “Worms as big as snakes are invading Britain.”
Is that big? The world’s smallest snake – named Leptotyphlops carlae – is 10cm (4 inches) long and “as thin as a spaghetti noodle”. There are 3,100 known snake species. The world’s longest snake is a reticulated python – 7.67 m (25 ft 2 in) long.
Bow big is this invading worm? “More than 2ft long,” we learn.
“Experts warn the beasts, which are already the size of a newly-hatched adder, could grow ‘bigger and bigger”.
An adder is poisonous. A long worm is not. And these long worms – “slithery predators” – have been found only on the “remote Isle of Rum, off Scotland”.
Jeff Farrell’s story make no mention of how these worms have launched an invasion. The Star once supported the EDL. The fear is that self-styled British patriots are right now hunting down Lumbricus terrestris for slaughter and deportation. But the worm is also known as the “common earthworm”, a creature native to the British Isles. Although fears they they have radicalised in Scotland are hard to disprove.
Posted: 18th, January 2016 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Daily Star stirs fear of migrant perverts and filthy idiots abroad
The Daily Star once supported the EDL. The paper today brings news that “MIGRANT PERVERTS” are a “THREAT TO UK GIRLS”.
Surely more perverts means more customers for the Daily Star (see more on the paper’s Page 3) and the paper’s owner Richard Desmond’s porn TV stations, on which you can watch such wholesome films as Jim Slip’s Euro 18s and A Filthy Idiot Abroad.
(Mr Desmond also owns the Express which leads with news that more migrants “WILL LEAD TO MORE SEX ATTACKS”.)
So much for the foreign pervs. What of the news?
Matthew Young writes:
“Women in Britain have been warned they could be targeted by immigrants arriving from the Middle East.”
Well, they could be. They could also not be.
Criminal gangs carried out sex attacks in four cities across Germany on New Year’s Eve, assaulting and robbing 150 women.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 8th, January 2016 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comments (2)
