Jessica Biel | Anorak

Posts Tagged ‘Jessica Biel’

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have tasteless, disgusting wedding

WHEN famous people tie the knot, they tend to throw their cash around a fair it. Of course, most celebrities prove the old maxim ‘you can’t buy taste’, but looking at Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel, you kinda think that they seem like nice enough people and wouldn’t do anything too wrong when getting hitched.

What they didn’t bargain for is the taste of their mates.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 26th, October 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Madonna takes on Elton John and just about everyone else in the world. Again.

NOW that Madonna’s pop-crown is slipping Lady GaGaward, largely thanks to her taking herself far too seriously and spreading herself too thinly, she’s remembered that nothing gets you column inches like a beef. Or numerous beefs. She’s beef mad, clearly.

The big story is Madge and Elton John are at loggerheads after the Golden Globes. Queen Bitch Elton said that Queen Bitch Madge ‘didn’t have a chance’ winning the award for Best Original Song. She promptly went and won ‘best song’.

This isn’t the first time they’ve fallen out. They spat at each other in 2004 after Elton accused Madonna of miming. After hearing about Elton’s ratings of her, she snarked: “Was he wearing a dress? Those are fighting words… OK, well, may the best man win.” After picking up the award for her W.E. song Masterpiece,Madge stated: “I hope he speaks to me for the next couple of years. He tends to get mad at me. I don’t feel bad.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 17th, January 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Mournfully fold your best knickers away: Justin Timberlake is engaged to Jessica Biel

YOU may well fancy the very pants off Justin Timberlake and, as well you might. He’s obviously talented, charming, self-deprecating and – if rumours are to be believed – in possession of a rather large ‘lad’.

However, that doesn’t mean you needy fans are getting any closer to wooing him. In fact, you’ve never been further away because, sadly for you and your best frilly knickers which you were saving for JT, he’s apparently engaged to Jessica Biel.

That’s right. He was supposed to propose to you, but he’s gone and done it to someone better looking and much, much wealthier than you. Someone who doesn’t scream constantly at the very mention of his name.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 21st, December 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jessica Biel’s Organic Striptease Defies Her Looks: Photos

JESSICA Biel would like to explain that her striptease in Powder Blue was more than just a striptease. People can be so judgemental:

“It’s unfortunate. It was brutal for a while. There was so much more that we put into it. [However] I wasn’t so scarred by the experience that I wouldn’t do it again. If a director I trusted came to me with an amazing opportunity and it felt organic, I would do it.”

She used to date Justin Timberlake. You feel they he got away just in time. Biel once said:

“You have to find a balance, especially with what you eat. I don’t live by the idea that you can’t allow yourself a treat. I say, ‘Eat things you like, but eat them in smaller portions’. I always cut things in half and send them back. I’m not perfect, I don’t always do those things, but that’s the goal.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 14th, November 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Brad Pitt’s Life Of Hell, Beer, Wine, Beards And Chips

brad-pitt1IN this week’s National Enquirer, news that Angelina Jolie is “DESTROYING” Brad Pitt, Justin Timberlake’s Rihanna-Biel “LOVE TRIANGLE” and “HOW NICOLE RICHIE LOST 14LBS IN 7 DAYS.”

Brad And Angelina En France:

News is that “BRAD’S FALLING APART”. He’s “bloated” and haggard” as he endures a “life of hell” with Angelina Jolie. He’s losing his looks and it’s “crushing his spirit.”

You can see just how crushed Brad is as he tours a Syrian camp for dispossessed Iraqis on his and Angelina’s Little Donkey Tour of the Middle East.

That’s Brad Pitt with the “unkempt Colonel Sanders-style beard”, the tatty chin with bits of chicken fat, coleslaw and gristle in the creases.

That beard keeps getting longer to hide Brad’s tall stack of chins. Can the chin hair grow in step with his chins? It’s the big talking point.

Meanwhile, back at the chateau, a game of hide and seek is being enacted:

“Brad’s answer to these problems has been to hide away with a bottle of wine and some beer, which is easy for him because the chateau is enormous and he can slip to the other side of the property and stay there for days on end. He’ll find himself some French cheese and meats and grab some olives, chips and other greasy goods. Then he washes it down with bottle after bottle of expensive wine and super-strong European beer, which is his favourite.”

It is a living hell.

Justin Timberlake, Rihanna and Jessica Biel

Rihanna’s people say that Justin Timberlake must end it with Jessica Biel if he is to have any chance to dating Rihanna, who Justin is not dating but might if he drops Jessica Biel.

Only if Timberlake stops dating Biel can he even think of dating Rihanna.

And what foes for Rihanna, goes too for Kirstie Alley, Madonna, Helen Shapiro, Sarah ‘Fergie’ Ferguson and Cheryl Cole…

Perspective With Mary Jo Eustace, Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling

Mary Jo has a new book out. It’s called Divorce Sucks. In it she speaks of her ex-husband Dean McDermott and how he and Tori hooked up:

“I guess I always knew that after the years of mini bombs, one day there would be a big, fat Hiroshima.”

After that, Mary Jo gathers herself to talk of a picture she saw of Tori with her legs raised about a prone Dean. And she delivers the bombshell:

“I will never feel the same way about cowboy boots again.”

And you thought there was only one way to think about cowboy boots.

Nicole Richie Slims Down

Did you know that Nicole Richie lost 14 pounds – in weight! -after giving birth to a baby that weighed 7lbs 14oz. Add on the attachments and the water and the breast feeding and the miracle is not that Richie lost weight but that she had any weight left to lose…

Posted: 6th, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comments (2)

Naked Jessica Biel To Star In Quasimodo Remake

jessica_beil_powder_blueHAVING told one and all that her looks are damaging her career, Jessica Biel says she won’t leave the house until she looks terr-i-fic:

It’s wonderful to do what I do, but everything that goes with it? It’s bizarre,” Biel tells Allure magazine. “The invasion of privacy is very tough. I am followed all day, every day. Going to the dentist, the cleaners.

“I guess I could look like s**t going to the dentist, but only if I didn’t care what I saw in the papers.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 21st, May 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment