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Legend: marketing mastermind turns two-star Kray biopic into five-star PR

legend film review guardian

 

Is Legend, the big screen biopic about black-and-white British gangsters the Kray Twins, any good? Benjamin Lee answers that question in his review for The Guardian. He says:

It’s a disappointingly shallow take on a fascinating period of time and leaves us sorely uninformed, as if we’ve skim-read a pamphlet. The legend might live on but Legend certainly won’t.

He gave it just two stars from a possible five. The film’s marketing team saw it and slapped it on the official posters.

 

 

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Says Lee:

…in a stroke of brazen genius, the marketing department tasked with selling the shoddy true crime tale decided to embrace the mediocrity of my review and found a devious solution. Note: focus between the ears.

Stellar work from Canal Plus.

Posted: 11th, September 2015 | In: Film, Reviews | Comment


The Best Worst Last Films by Legendary Actors

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DEATH is a terrible inevitability. You could pop your considerable clogs at any given moment. You might be half way through a banana. You could be mid-poo, like Elvis. You could be *this close* to finishing that computer game that proved so difficult all those years. You might suddenly die just before someone finishes a joke.

Worse than all these things put together, is when great actors die before they’ve had the chance to do one last film that is any good.

There’s a whole host of brilliant actors who have been in absolute crap – Robert De Niro in ‘The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle’, Michael Caine in ‘Jaws: The Revenge’, Kevin Spacey in ‘Fred Claus’, Faye Dunaway in ‘Dunston Checks In’ and Al Pacino in Adam Sandler’s beyond woeful ‘Jack & Jill’.

However, they all got another shot at correcting the blips on their showreels.

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Posted: 16th, September 2014 | In: Film | Comment


10 Actors Who Swapped The Boards for the Bandstand

cera album

 

PART Kermit, part hipster, Michael Cera is loved by many (and he probably irritates a fair few too, but that’s normal) and has starred in a bunch of films that make people in Converse Chuck Taylor’s go weak at the knees.

So it isn’t very surprising that Michael Cera has released folk album called ‘True That’.

The actor released the material on August 8th via his Bandcamp page. Not many people noticed it, but then, Superbad co-star Jonah Hill posted a link to it and now everyone is cooing and clucking about it.

Of course, he’s not the first actor to have a go at singing and making music. In fact, the movies are filled with actors who have decided to have a go at making sweet melodies. The results, obviously, have been mixed and sometimes, downright baffling.

Mostly though, they’ve been a bit bland. Remember Minnie Driver’s album? Of course you don’t. Was it bad? Sadly, it was competent so no-one could get mad.

Some actors have been pretty good, but they’re no fun – we’re interested in the weird ones. Dudley Moore’s fine jazz and J-Lo’s ace pop aren’t for us.

We’re here for the lousy and oddball.

 

 

Robert Mitchum

Cinema legend Robert Mitchum was swept away by the infectious music of the Caribbean and thought he’d make a calypso album. His deadpan delivery is funny, but is it a bit racist doing what is tantamount to a comedy black voice? Judge for yourself.

 

 

 

Scott Baio

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Posted: 14th, August 2014 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment


The Greatest Female Superheroes!

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Posted: 30th, July 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment


See Andre 3000 as Jimi Hendrix in All Is By My Side Trailer

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ROCK biopics are always fun, even if they’re not always good. There’s been mixed movies, from The Runaways to The Doors, from Ray to What We Do Is Secret. Even the crappy ones are still worth a look because, even if the storytelling and acting is lousy, at least the music will be great.

And so, we’re looking down the barrel of a Jimi Hendrix biopic and there’s a lot riding on it.

Why? Well, Hendrix was a smooth, fascinating character with a preposterous talent and a gentle soul – that’s not easy to capture. Moreover, Outkast’s brilliant Andre 3000/Benjamin is playing the title role. There’s no-one on Earth who wants this to fail.

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Posted: 8th, July 2014 | In: Film, Music | Comment


Thetans Attack: Tom Cruise To Play Scientologist In Star Wars

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THERE’S rumours floating around which suggest that Scientologist Tom Cruise is in talks to make a cameo appearance in JJ Abrams’ Star Wars: Epsiode VII movie.

Of course, this creates a flurry of amusing puns about Tom Cruise being a Scientologist and believing in aliens and following a religion founded by  man called L. Ron Hubbard (L. Ron Buddha?) starring in an intergalactic battle film, presumably because he thinks it is ALL REAL and… we’ll stop now. Some Scientologists just parked up outside the Anorak office and have started shouting at everyone.

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Posted: 23rd, June 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)


Copyright Is Corporate Theft: People Who Illegally Download Buy Music Too

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EVERYONE outside of the music industry knows that people who illegally download also buy music. For example, Person A buys a lot of vinyl, but also illegally downloads a load of stuff he wouldn’t normally buy, like that song they hear on the radio now and then.

Some people will ravage a torrent and then go buy various albums from it in a try-before-you-buy way. Others will solely nick music, but whaddayagonnado? Those people, years ago, would’ve only ever recorded friends albums onto blank tapes anyway.

A new report goes one further – music and movie pirates behave completely differently. Turns out those who illegally download films are far more likely to pay for legitimate copies as well.

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Posted: 7th, May 2014 | In: Music, The Consumer | Comment


From Movies to TV: 10 Tragic Failures

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) 1986 TV Adaptation “Fast Times”

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
1986 TV Adaptation “Fast Times”

 

MOVIES adapted for television series aren’t necessarily terrible; in fact, the outcome is often quite good. The Odd Couple and M*A*S*H* both had great translations for the small screen. Even Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, a dark drama by Martin Scorsese found an interesting niche in the sitcom universe via Alice.

Unfortunately, for every success, there are a sizeable number of failures. This is where I come in and deliver up ten tragic examples of where a movie was adapted for television yielding regrettable results.

 

Animal House (1978)
1979 TV Adaptation: “Delta House”, 13 episodes

When you remove the bawdy humor from Animal House, you’re cutting out its heart. It’s like removing the dancing from Singin’ in the Rain. Crass jokes and irresponsible humor were the lifeblood of the original film; to clean things up for prime time TV was a mistake of epic proportions.

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Posted: 30th, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment (1)


Steve Jobs Biopic Stars Danny Boyle and Leo DiCaprio

Personal computer pioneer Steve Jobs of NeXT Computer Inc., shows off his NeXTstation color computer to the press at the NeXT facility in Redwood City, Calif., on April 4, 1991. (AP Photo/Ben Margot)

Personal computer pioneer Steve Jobs of NeXT Computer Inc., shows off his NeXTstation color computer to the press at the NeXT facility in Redwood City, Calif., on April 4, 1991. (AP Photo/Ben Margot)

 

EVER looked at Steve Jobs and thought: “There’s a guy I’d like to watch a film about!” Imagine the thrills and spills as Jobs goes to the bank to get a loan! Gasp as Jobs does some soldering on a motherboard! Swoon as he buys 30,000 black turtle neck sweaters!

Good news! Danny Boyle and Leonardo DiCaprio could well be working together on a biopic of the Apple Honcho.

The film will be based on the biography by Walter Isaacson about Jobs, which was released in 2011. It follows on from the film ‘Jobs’, which starred Ashton Kutcher, which no-one watched.

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Posted: 22nd, April 2014 | In: Celebrities, Technology | Comment


The Goonies Are To Return… Which No-One Really Wants

The house shown in this photo taken May 24, 2001, in Astoria, Ore., was used in the Steven Spielberg film "The Goonies." Nearly 17 years after the 1985 release, the home where the main characters live in Astoria still draws dozens of Goonie fans every week, and hundreds of people per month during the summer from around the world. (AP Photo/Stepanie Firth)

The house shown in this photo taken May 24, 2001, in Astoria, Ore., was used in the Steven Spielberg film “The Goonies.” Nearly 17 years after the 1985 release, the home where the main characters live in Astoria still draws dozens of Goonie fans every week, and hundreds of people per month during the summer from around the world. (AP Photo/Stepanie Firth)

 

NOSTALGIA is a wonderful thing, provided you keep it where it is. 30somethings who have gone back to watch old cartoons they loved as kids are often found sobbing, depressed lumps sat in waterless baths, feeling cheated and hurt, like they’d summoned up a repressed abuse at the hands of school bullies.

Of course, some things stand the test of time, if you don’t pick at it. The Mysterious Cities of Gold is still oddly deep and perfect, but a redux of it would be like taking a great shit on the one meal that reminds you of the glory of your childhood.

And now, the director of The Goonies, Richard Donner, has said a sequel to The Goonies is in the works.

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Posted: 7th, April 2014 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment


First look at the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trailer

Voice actors, from top left, Mikey Kelley, James Arnold Taylor, Nolan North and Mitchell Whitfield pose behind their Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles characters, from left, Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello, as they arrive at the premiere of the Warner Bros. feature "TMNT," the latest installment of the Teenage Mutant Turtles saga, at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles Saturday, March 17, 2007.

Voice actors, from top left, Mikey Kelley, James Arnold Taylor, Nolan North and Mitchell Whitfield pose behind their Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles characters, from left, Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello, as they arrive at the premiere of the Warner Bros. feature “TMNT,” the latest installment of the Teenage Mutant Turtles saga, at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles Saturday, March 17, 2007.

 

ONCE upon a time, we had the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles on British TV because on these shores, everyone is far too chicken to use the word ‘ninja’. Mercifully, times have changed and now, we’re all set for a brand new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film.

And the new trailer for it has been released.

Of course, there’s only one man childish enough to have fun make a TMNT film, and that’s Michael Bay, who also rummaged through the toybox in his mind to direct the Transformers films.

So how are Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Leonardo looking?

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Posted: 27th, March 2014 | In: Film, Reviews | Comment


The Greatest Voice in Hollywood, Hal Douglas, RIP

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IT doesn’t matter who you are in Hollywood, fact is, you owe something to Hal Douglas.

You may not know who Hal Douglas is. He’s not exactly a household name, and sadly Douglas has just passed away, aged 89. However, we should pay tribute to Hal because he is the most legendary voice-over artist in Hollywood.

Douglas’ distinct delivery featured in thousands of trailers.

 

 

Douglas was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2010 and died with his family by his side. He took with him a remarkable, unmistakable, rich baritone which could go from epic and theatrical, to campy and over the top.

He broke from the booth to star in the trailer, with his face, in the Jerry Seinfeld film The Comedian, where he poked fun at his own work and appeared on-screen for the first time in his 40 year career.

 

 

One of Hollywood’s true, true greats has left us and, should you feel the need to pay your respects to Hal Douglas, you can do so at http://www.ilasting.com/haldouglas.php

Posted: 14th, March 2014 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment


The Greatest Rock Biopics: From Hendrix to Guthrie

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BIOPICS are problematic at the best of times, but get it right and you can cement a person’s place in history forever. Especially tricky are rock biopics because, half the time, the person or people they celebrate, are still alive. Or at least, they were around not that long and you can remember if they were horrible or not.

However, some rock films are better than the actual careers of the artist they pay tribute to.

Have you seen The Doors film? That’s a daft romp through 60s fluff and nonsense with some hilarious mystical sequences and leather trousers. 10,000% better than actually having to sit down and listen to anything The Doors ever committed to record. We can whip the horses eyes? C’mon! You’d much rather see one of Meg Ryan’s boobs and laugh at Billy Idol in a hippie wig!

With a biopic of Jimi Hendrix due to drop any minute now, played by Andre 3000 from Outkast, it seems like a perfect time to look at some of the finer performances in the oeuvre.

 

Jimi Hendrix

Let us start with the newest and most exciting biopic in a while. ‘All is By My Side’ features Andre Benjamin as the late Hendrix. We knew he was a man who could pull off Hendrix’s wild attire, but the footage doing the rounds shows that Benjamin is more than adept at doing an impression of Jimi. Have a look.

 

 

 

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Posted: 6th, March 2014 | In: Film, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment


Quentin Tarantino Ditches ‘Hateful Eight’ Thanks To Script Leak

UH-OH. Quentin Tarantino is declaring war on Hollywood after someone leaked the script for ‘Hateful Eight’. Only six people have seen the script itself, and Quentin is naming names. Bruce Dern is one and ‘Reservoir Dogs’ stars Tim Roth and Michael Madsen are two more.

 

quentin-tarantino hateful eight

 

He said: “I’m very, very depressed. I finished a script, a first draft, and I didn’t mean to shoot it until next winter, a year from now. I gave it to six people, and apparently it’s gotten out today. I like the fact that people like my shit, and that they go out of their way to find it and read it. But I gave it to six motherfucking people!”

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Posted: 22nd, January 2014 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment


Hey Hey! It’s The Razzies! Grown-Ups 2 Could Sweep The Board

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TOO frequently, the world of entertainment is very willing to pat itself on the back and gush all over itself about just how wonderful it has been all year.

However, with the shade that is the grisly business of an industry awards ceremony, comes the light of someone simply blowing a raspberry at the whole thing and waggling their arses.

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Posted: 15th, January 2014 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment


British Board of Film Classification Gets All Wussy Over Horror Films

American actors Bruce Davison (left) and Ernest Borgnine in a scene from the horror film "Willard"

American actors Bruce Davison (left) and Ernest Borgnine in a scene from the horror film “Willard”

 

WITH cinema a feeble force in today’s world of Grab What You Want, When You Want It media, it seems those in charge are determined to make it all even weaker.

Cinema’s make you leave the house, sell you lousy food, half deafen you with badly mixed bass tracks on films, stink up your nostrils with bleach and, worst of all, force you to watch films with dreadful chattering strangers. All for a million pound per viewing.

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Posted: 13th, January 2014 | In: Film, Reviews | Comment


The Baftas 2014 Nominations Are Announced!

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2014’s Bafta film nominations have been announced, which is particularly good news for London’s cocaine dealers as they prep themselves for one of their busiest awards of the year.

Leading the pack is Gravity with 11 nominations and true stories dominate the main categories (which probably means all our fiction writers are either rubbish or they’ve given up through a lack of funding) with all but two films (Gravity and The Selfish Giant) falling into that pocket.

It’ll be a good night for Dame Judi Dench too. She’s got a nod for Philomena, which gives her a whopping total of 15 Bafta film nominations – the most nominated actress in the history of the event.

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Posted: 8th, January 2014 | In: Film, TV & Radio | Comment


DiCaprio Annoys PETA Who Want Jar Jar Binks Rather Than Animal Actors

 

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IN his new film, Leonardo DiCaprio does something really, really awful – persists in having that Nearly Beard. However, it isn’t Leo’s goatee that has caused a kerfuffle, rather, PETA are going after him and calling for the actor to stop working with animal actors.

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Posted: 20th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Top 10 Overpaid Hollywood Actors

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MAKING films is a risky business. Why should anyone listen to your stupid story? To convince people, you need someone famous to sell it because, for whatever reason, we trust certain actors more than others.

However, some A-listers just aren’t worth the money as they’re not recouping costs for the studios. With that, Forbes looked at who the worst 10 were and, here they are, with examples of their dubious work.

For example, Adam Sandler commands $15m paychecks, which is great for him but not so much for the studios. Based on the actors last three projects, the list looks at earnings at the box office per dollar of pay.

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Posted: 10th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment


Julian Assange nearly makes Benedict Cumberbatch quit film, says leaked email

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NOT a man known for attracting attention to himself, Julian Assange apparently refused to meet Benedict Cumberbatch while he was preparing to play the WikiLeaks founder for a film… and amusingly, it is a leaked email that has revealed this news.

In the letter, sent in January, Assange described Cumberbatch’s film, The Fifth Estate, as “toxic” and “distorted“, adding that the actor should “reconsider your involvement in this enterprise”.

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Posted: 10th, October 2013 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment


New RoboCop trailer released – start wetting yourself with excitement, now!

Michael Keaton, left, Samuel L. Jackson, center, and Joel Kinnaman attend the "RoboCop" panel on Day 3 of Comic-Con International on Friday, July 19, 2103 in San Diego.. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

THE original RoboCop movie was a tense, bleak affair and any notion of remaking it was going to set everyone’s phasers to ‘uh-oh’. With that, the release of the trailer for the new movie will inevitably swing people either way.

Of course, there’ll be haters… but they’re wrong. That’s because the new RoboCop looks ACE!

Joel Kinnaman replaces Peter Weller as Murphy, who goes from Injured Cop to Super Cool Robot Cop.

There’s a fun cast too, including Samuel L. Jackson (of course), Gary Oldman and Michael Keaton (welcome back!), plus Abby Cornish as Murphy’s wife.

The new trailer shows loads of things getting shot, blown up and punched, which is all well and good, but the best bit is when Michael Keaton basically says ‘let’s make him look more bad-ass by making RoboCop’s suit black’.

There’s also a lovely ‘who is in control of the technology? The machine or man?’ which we’ll no doubt be able to read into, concerning our own technological habits… but mainly, it looks like it’ll be a hoot with loads of fighting and a cool baddie.

RoboCop should be released on Feb. 7, 2014. Here’s the trailer.

Photo :Michael Keaton, left, Samuel L. Jackson, center, and Joel Kinnaman attend the “RoboCop” panel on Day 3 of Comic-Con International on Friday, July 19, 2103 in San Diego.. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

Posted: 9th, September 2013 | In: Film | Comment


Leads cast in Fifty Shades Of Grey… so start imagining them naked now

GOOD news everybody! The lead roles of Fifty Shades of Grey have been announced! You haven’t heard of them, but no matter, because the main bit of their job is to do a lot of sex, which is nice.

For those who must know, the British Charlie Hunnam and US actress Dakota Johnson will be taking their clothes off and talking to each other with clunky euphemisms, while Mumset tut about it all, before secretly frigging their collective pelvis off.

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Posted: 4th, September 2013 | In: Books, Film | Comment


Railway Children gets first complaint in 42 years

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WE all like complaining, but would you moan about something that is 42 years old? The British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) has received its first ever complaint for The Railway Children, which was first aired in 1970.

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Posted: 16th, July 2013 | In: Film | Comment


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