Anorak

Reviews

Reviews Category

We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

1978: Kellie Everts Was The Miss Nude Universe Who Became God’s Stripper

IN 1978, the Associated Press met Kellie Everts, the Miss Nude Universe who became as a striptease artist performing on a Washington stage because “God told her to quiet her job as a social worker and return to the stage to perform her strip act”.

The woman born Rasa von Werder was stripping for Jesus.

And isn’t stripping another kind of social work?

(via)

stripper for jesus

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 18th, April 2014 | In: Celebrities, Flashback | Comment


16 Retro Board Game Curiosities That No Family Played Twice

A WHILE back, we covered some pretty peculiar games; however, there still remain board game curiosities which cry out for your attention. It seems there was no limit to the imagination (and debilitating insanity) of board game manufacturers. For every winner (i.e. Monopoly, Risk, Candyland) there were a hundred losers. Here’s a look at some of those losers.

 

VIDEO VILLAGE

video village

 

No doubt, this board game is a staple in the NSA break rooms. “Video Village” has such a nice sound for a mass surveillance system; much better than London’s “Ring of Steel”. How fitting that it shows a woman behind bars.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 18th, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (6)


Gabriel García Márquez 1927-2014

RIP Gabriel García Márquez, 1927-2014:

 

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 17th, April 2014 | In: Books, Celebrities, Reviews | Comment


Watch These Epic Videos To Ensure You Are Ready For The Rapture

the rapture

 

THIS Easter, take care not to be left behind at the Rapture. It can, of course, happen at any time. It happened in 2011. Well, it could have done. And when it does, boy will they be right and you be wrong.

The Rapture is believed true. It is an end-times event when all believers in Christianity will be taken from the earth by God into heaven. The rest will be left behind (including the pets).

In preparation, we’ve compiled a library of Rapture Guide Videos. Study them hard. Questions later:

 

 

In 1952, Rapture film The Missing Christians hit the movie theatres. YouTuber Robert Smith tells us:

THE MISSING CHRISTIANS is set in the home of a devoted Christian widow and her three children. The story opens with the mother and two younger children leaving a tent revival meeting where a large number have responded to the invitation. At home, they discuss the meeting until after Norma, the elder daughter has returned from a night of pleasure. Norma ridicules the thought of revivals. Being tired and emotionally disturbed, she gets to her room, falls across her bed and is soon asleep and dreaming.

An angel appears and talks to her. In the dream the Rapture of the Church takes place. Her mother, sister and brother change, rise and join others who disappear in the clouds.
Her dream continues as she and Mrs. Store, a wealthy socialite, confer in the church office of Rev. Wise, pastor of a liberal church. Norma denounces him for his deceptive preaching.
The scene of the ten virgins with the pleading and remorse of the five foolish should sober any careless heart and mind. Norma awakens from her dream—recognizes her lost condition— confesses her sins—prays and receives Christ as her Saviour. The climax is thrilling as she realizes she is saved and thanks God for her new found joy. The film closes as she and her mother embrace while the choir sings “Softly and Tenderly”.

 

 

In The Blink Of Eye…. YouTuber WordNews has the details:

This is a trailer …the Movie was released 2009 about a vacationing detective begins to suspect that the Biblical apocalypse is at hand after being forced to relive the day of the Rapture time and again. Detective David Ramsey (David A.R. White, his wife, and their friends are cruising the Sea of Cortez in a luxury yacht when nearly everyone aboard vanishes without a trace. Confused, Detective Ramsey contacts his captain (Eric Roberts) and learns that the boat captain and his boss may have ties to the underworld. Suddenly, Detective Ramsay wakes up in a cold sweat. Initially determining that it was all just a dream, his relief turns to anxiety when the day begins playing out exactly as he had just envisioned it. What forces are dictating this strange occurrence, and what will happen if Detective Ramsay manages to solve the perplexing mystery before the cycle starts all over again….the moral of the movie is to be ready for the rapture …Jesus makes it clear in John chapter 3 how to go to heaven and to be ready for the rapture – you must be born again…To be born again is to admit to Jesus who is God and savior that you fall short of being perfect and need to be forgiven…right now let Jesus know you are sorry for anything you have done wrong meaning any sin and to come into your life as God and savior…..AMEN

 

 

Apocalypse: Caught in the Eye of the Storm. ChurchCinema has the blurb:

Army after army descends into the Valley of Armageddon in central Israel. Millions of people suddenly vanish. It’s the media event of the century and the entire world is glued to their television sets. At that very moment, a great charismatic leader arises and performs a miracle of astounding dimensions. Is he the long-awaited Messiah? The whole world is convinced that he is.It’s a time of great tribulation and only Bronson Pearl (Richard Nester)and Helen Hannah (Leigh Lewis), the two co-anchors of the World News Network, are in a position to uncover the truth. But as Helen discovers the true identity of this great leader, she is torn between her deep love for Bronson and her new-found knowledge about Christ and the antichrist.

 

 

 

Final: The Rapture

 

 

End Times laughs on Rapture-Palooza:

When the Apocalypse actually happens and a billion people are raptured up to heaven, Lindsey (Kendrick) and her boyfriend Ben (Daley) are left behind in suburban Seattle. The young couple try their best to lead a normal life surrounded by talking locusts, blood rain showers, and pot-smoking wraiths. But when the Anti-Christ (Robinson) makes his home base in their neighborhood, Lindsey finds herself the object of his affection. With the help of her family, friends, and a lawn-mowing zombie neighbor, the young couple set off to stop the Anti-Christ from taking her as his bride… and just maybe, saving the world in the process.

 

 

We survived the 1970s:

 

 

Sunday Morning Rapture

 

 

 

And Lights, Camera, Rapture!

 

 

 

If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? (1971)

Based on the preachings of Reverend Estus W. Pirkle, this film warns what will happen to America if the citizens do not give up their depraved ways and turn to God and Jesus for salvation. Communist infiltrators, the “footmen”, will pave the way for an all out invasion by weakening our will through TV, dance, rock music and alcohol. Once the invasion begins, the new Communist government will proceed to round up all Christians, and either execute them or force them to undergo re-education. Only by putting their faith in the bible where it belongs, says Rev. Pirkle, can America resist the coming Red Menace.

 

A Distant Thunder. It’s 1978….

 

 

And finally….

 

 

The En…

(You still there?)

Posted: 17th, April 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, Strange But True | Comment


Heaven Is For Real: Colton Burpo Proves Christianity, My Little Pony And Sarah Palin Are Right

colton burpo

 

HAVE you seen Heaven Is For Real, the film about the boy who “had a trip to Heaven”.

Sony Pictures acquired had actioned its rights on the book Heaven Is For Real: A Little Boy’s Astounding Story of His Trip To Heaven And Back, written by Todd Burpo and Lynn Vincent:

Burpo is a small town Nebraska pastor whose four-year old son, Colton, nearly died during an emergency appendectomy operation. As he recovered, Colton began telling his family that he went to Heaven, actually looking down at the doctors operating on him and his family praying in the waiting room. And he slowly began telling them details about his miscarried sister, and his long-dead grandfather, none of which he should have known about. He then revealed to his family what it was like during his visit in Heaven, before he was sent back to his family. He’s now 11.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 17th, April 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment (1)


1978: Weapons Seized Before West Ham Against Millwall At Upton Park

FLASHBACK to October 7 1978:

On display at Scotland Yard are some of the weapons believed to have been abandoned by supporters attending the West Ham against Millwall game at Upton Park. Six policeman were injured and 70 people arrested after fans clashed in the street after the game.

 

PA-17556178

Posted: 17th, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Sports | Comment


Starbucks Is Relocating Its HQ To The UK: Hurrah!

PA-15335343

OR at least Starbucks is going to be relocating it’s European HQ to the UK. Which, after all that fuss about how much tax Starbucks was or was not paying in this country is a bit of a turnaround.

The basic background for those who need a refresher: Starbucks was noted not to be paying any corporation tax in the UK. On the grounds that it wasn’t making any profit so why should it? Then in the details people noted that it was sending royalties, tax free, to Holland, and paying a margin on coffee it bought from lower tax Switzerland. Aha! so, tax avoidance! Except, when those were added back in then Starbucks was still making a loss. And then decided to cough up some tax anyway in order to get the loons from UKUncut off its premises.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 17th, April 2014 | In: Money, Reviews | Comment


Daily Star Front Page: ‘Mutant Rats In Your Kebab’

THE Daily Star follows its Wednesday front-page screamer with…

 

Daily_Star_16_4_2014

 

A cure:

“Exclusive: Mutant rats in your kebab”

Screen shot 2014-04-16 at 22.37.32

 

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment


1966: Bunny-Eared Rockettes Rehearse The Easter Show at New York’’s Radio City Music Hall

FLASHBACK to 05/04/1966:

Bunny-eared Rockettes relax during a rehearsal of the current Easter show at New York’’s Radio City Music Hall on April 5, 1966. The Easter and Christmas shows are both highlights of the year at the Music Hall. Thousands line up to get– into the theater for the shows while they are on. Show time starts at 10 a.m. and continues for the Rockettes until after 10 p.m. at night. When the last show of the day is done. The film which accompanies the show keeps the audience in their seats in the giant 6,200-seat hall until nearly midnight. 

 

PA-10161004

 

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Flashback | Comment


The Greatest Weight Loss Gif Of All Time – Ever!

THANKS to Reddit user dignityblows, aka Amanda, we get to see the world’s best ever weight loss Gif. And it might also be the world’s best ever cured-of-wearing-glasses-gif, too.

The incredible shrinking Amanda appeared on Good Morning America to talk about the joys of no longer being fat. Her secret was the Keto/Paleo die. She tells Reddit:

I was very clear during the interview that Keto is a high fat and moderate protein diet, but the voice over said I followed a “high protein” diet. Sigh. I guess the world isn’t quite ready for the glorious bacon-fueled truth.

weight loss

[Reddit]

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Gifs, Reviews | Comment


Dead And Rotting Cyril Smith Stinks Less Than When He Was Alive

cyril smith

 

THE Liberal Democrats claim they had no idea Sir Cyril Smith, the Labour mayor of Rochdale (his mother wash his mayoress) who became the town’s Liberal MP and that Party’s chief whip, was a pervert. In response to current Rochdale Labour MP Simon Danczuk’s book on Smith, Smile for the Camera: the Double Life of Cyril Smith, a LibDem spokesman says:

“Cyril Smith’s acts were vile and repugnant and we have nothing but sympathy for those whose lives he ruined. His actions were not known to or condoned by anyone in the Liberal Party or the Liberal Democrats.”

None of them?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (2)


Damon Albarn and Noel Gallagher To Make A Record Together?

blur

 

THE animosity circus that was Britpop, with everyone trying to outdo each other by saying “we’re the best band in the world” and slating other bands was fun for 10 minutes. When bands like Scotland’s The Gyres started calling themselves the best band in the world, everything got a bit claggy.

However, one rivalry really caught everyone’s attention – Oasis versus Blur.

On one hand, you had the distanced Damon Albarn and his gaggle of middle-class artists, sidestepping the High Street to look at the way people lived. It was songs about lottery winners, girls who worked the check-outs, shipping forecasts and having sex with the telly on. On the other, you had Oasis – a gang of lads from some crap street, hungry for success and writing songs about having the best night out ever and immortality.

Everything about the rivalry worked, even though both bands were indebted to the same period of ’60s music (Oasis were aping The Beatles’ ‘Rain’ and noisy Freakbeat records, while Blur took a Ray Davies and ‘Penny Lane’ approach). Is was lads off the estate versus those that listened in school.

Many snide remarks were thrown back and forth and it was equally useful for both bands as the press and marketing teams gobbled it all up. It all came to the fore with Country House versus Roll With It. Both bands, in their own way won and, the ultimate loser was the record buying public as, once the fuss had died down, they realised they’d got suck into buying some subpar records.

However, they’ve all grown up now. Damon Albarn is a music magpie with a variety of collaborations and projects under his belt, while Noel Gallagher left Oasis, leaving Liam to tour with Beady Eye, the world’s best Oasis tribute act. Gone are the jibes wishing AIDS on each other. Damon and Noel, the statesmen of their respective camps, have grown to like each other away from all the din.

Albarn has, for a while now, talked of the times he bumped into Noel and, after a tentative start, they’ve grown to like each other. Now, in 2014, it looks like an album with them both is on the cards.

Damon revealed that making an album with Noel Gallagher is a “distinct possibility” and that the pair have discussed the idea “at least once”.

“I still see Noel from time to time. We text a bit,” Albarn says. When asked if the pair would be making a record together, he said: “I can imagine that being a very distinct possibility at some point in the future. But, as yet we haven’t really talked about it, although…”

“OK we have a little bit. We’re talking. It’s not anything to get excited about yet. I mean, he’s doing his thing. He’s finishing a new record. I’ve got my record coming out, but the principle of us making music together is something…you know, it would be fair to say, we have discussed it at least once.”

And if you missed it, Damon and Noel played on-stage together last year at the Royal Albert Hall for a Teenage Cancer Trust gig.

Could be a good LP, if they work it out.

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Music, Reviews | Comment (1)


1930 Grand National: Jockey G Goswell Is Helped To An Ambulance As His May King Flounders In The Beecher’s Brook Ditch

FLASHBACK to March 28 1930:

Jockey G Goswell being helped into the ambulance, whilst his horse May King still flounders in the ditch after getting caught at Beecher’s Brook during the Grand National horse race at Aintree Racecourse in Liverpool, England on March 28, 1930.

 

PA-9431325 (1)

 

No ambulance for horses.

 

PA-9431319 (1)

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Sports | Comment


Back from the Dead: The 5 Lamest Horror Movie Monster Resurrections

lame3

 

THROUGHOUT cinematic history, our most beloved monsters — from Dracula and The Wolf Man to Freddy Krueger and King Kong — have returned again and again to haunt our nightmares, and our movie screens.

In any horror movie or monster movie sequel, the primary challenge is thus always quite specific: how do we get our beloved monster back after so thoroughly and completely defeating him at the end of the previous movie?  How do we snatch defeat from what seemed like victory?

Some movie franchises have proven cleverer than others at threading this particular needle, finding fresh and inventive ways to get our beloved monsters stalking again.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Local News Watch: Transgender Former Soldier Appeals For Stolen Corsets

Screen shot 2014-04-16 at 10.25.33

 

ROXANNE Yeatman is appealing for the return of three corsets allegedly stolen by her flatmate.

Mother of four Roxanne, a former soldier with the Royal Artillery who used to be known as Doug, claims she allowed a 44-year-old alcoholic to stay at her place so she could escape her abusive lover.

But the woman allegedly repaid this generosity by making off with four black suspender belts and three corsets, leaving her with just one.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment


Swindon Council Fights Fish Crime By Removing All The Fish From The Wiltshire and Berkshire Canal

Europe Mediterranean Fish

 

 

IN a bid to stop fishing, or poaching as the officials call it, on the Wiltshire and Berkshire Canal in Swindon, Swindon Borough Council has removed the fish, all 1,098kg (2,421lb) of the stuff.

But they only own the section between The Kingshill to Rushley Platt, so we imagine that to avoid repeating the process, the Council has erected signs warning fish to stay away from the council owned property on pain of enforced relocation or a fine for trespassing.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment


How Does Regulating Plastic Bags Stop Germany From Invading France?

PA-10434223

 

IT was Sr. Barroso who told us, in a piece in The Times, that the aim and purpose of the European Union was to stop Germany from invading France. Again. So, every action of that European Union needs to be looked at in this light. Will it aid in preventing Germany from invading France? At which point we get the EU trying to legislate on the use of plastic bags:

Europe’s Committee of the Regions, a consultative body to the European Commission and Council, has suggested outlawing the free distribution of plastic bags at retail stores by 2020 or—even better—banning them entirely. The committee, comprised of 353 local representatives from across the EU, also wants mandatory targets for reducing per-capita plastic-bag use to 35 per person per year, from an estimated EU average of 198 per person per year currently.

Quite how this deals with Hun militarism isn’t certain.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Money, Reviews | Comment


London Woman Suffers ‘Smoke Inhalation’ When e-Cigarette Explodes

PA-19113305

 

E-CIGARETTES not only make you look like a pillock and a wimp, but they are no good for you.

 

In Barking, East London, fire broken out in a ground-floor flat when someone charged their e-fag with the wrong charger. The Barking & Dagenham Post, reports:

A woman suffered smoke inhalation and shock after being rescued from the flat by firefighters wearing breathing apparatus.

Earlier, we told you about Jean Booth, who suffered burns to her face and scalp when using an e-cigarette. The Sun now reports that ” Jean is believed to have been trying to light the device as if it was a real ciggie”.

Such are the facts…

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment


Massive Asian Hornets Are Going To Kill Us All

SUMMER’S on its’s way. And that means foreigners invading us via the pages of the tabloids. Today the Sun’s politics section features Asian wasps coming over here and stealing jobs from our own pests.

 

Screen shot 2014-04-16 at 07.11.47

 

KEVIN SCHOFIELD, Chief Political Correspondent of the Sun has news from the hives of power:

VICIOUS Asian hornets three times the size of normal wasps are making their way to Britain, a chilling report warns.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


10 TV Shows That Time Forgot

forgotten tv shows (8)

Working Stiffs (1979) starring Jim Belushi and Michael Keaton

 

WITH every fall season in the US comes another batch of TV shows doomed to failure. The history of American television is littered with roadkill – most of which we have collectively forgotten. Well, no longer. I have personally scooped up the scattered remains of nine TV shows to share with you.  It won’t be pleasant, but you can feel good that it’s all in the name of historical preservation.

 

 

Co-Ed Fever (1979)

forgotten tv shows (4)

Animal House was such a big hit at the box office, TV networks thought they could translate that frat house magic for the small screen. They were horribly, horribly mistaken.

ABC’s Delta House was cancelled quickly, but that was nothing compared to Co-Ed Fever which was cancelled after one – count’em ONE – episode!

 

 

 

Turn On! (1969)

Of all the shows that bear the dubious distinction of being cancelled after one episode, the most infamous is the Laugh-In rip-off called Turn-On. It premiered a year after Laugh-In and was actually cut mid episode for being too raunchy. It is the shortest running TV show ever. Complaints poured in as the show was running, and the executives actually decided to pull the plug on the series within the first 17 minutes.

 

 

 

All That Glitters (1977)

forgotten tv shows (1)

Norman Lear (All in the Family, Mary Hartman, Good Times) once again tries to push the envelope. Here we have women who work for a powerful corporation, Globatron; meanwhile, the men are portrayed like 1950s housewives. Oh, so very controversial. Did I mention Linda Gray plays a transgender character?

I think the “testing the limits of convention” shtick had worn thin by the end of the Seventies. People got tired of being challenged, and just wanted mindless entertainment. Thus, All That Glitters was an abysmal failure, and the A-Team a triumph.

 

 

Perhaps the worst thing to come of this train wreck is Neil Diamond’s “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers.” When Norman Lear decided against using it as a theme song, Neil took it to Babs for a duet. Sadly, she agreed, and mankind has been haunted by this sapfest forever after.

 

 

 

What a Country! (1986)

 

forgotten tv shows (1)

Remember Yakov Smirnoff? He was the exceedingly not funny Russian comedian constantly pointing out the differences between the US and Soviet Union. His sitcom was the same miserable punchline repeated over and over of misunderstandings of American culture.

“At the grocery store: “Powdered milk, powdered eggs, baby powder . . . what a country!”

Somebody kill this man.

 

Bridget Loves Bernie (1972)

 

David Birney and Meredith Baxter

David Birney and Meredith Baxter

 

The production company, Screen Gems, had been churning out light-hearted sitcoms throughout the Sixties with great success (I Dream of Jeannie, Bewitched, The Flintstones, Hazel, Gidget, Hazel, Dennis the Menace). Now it was the Seventies – time to get serious and topical. Screen Gems put away childish things and tried for something akin to All in the Family. Bernie is a Jewish cab driver and his wife, Bridget is an Irish-Catholic. Hilarity ensues!

 

 

Not surprisingly, the show was a flop and Screen Gems folded and absorbed into Columbia. Even worse, American audiences had their feathers ruffled and Jewish and Catholic groups publicly panned it. The difference: All in the Family openly tried to be confrontational, and people were happy to take a ride through its hazardous terrain; whereas, Bridget Loves Bernie tried to act like Bewitched, like nothing was difficult to swallow, meanwhile playing the card of being “edgy” by having an interfaith marriage.

To add to the mess, the show wasn’t even remotely funny, and the characters were wholly unlikable. Ultimately, the show was doomed anyway. Bernie thought he was too good for television, and eventually Meredith Baxter would publicly reveal he was abusive to her. A disaster in every conceivable way.

 

 

I Had Three Wives (1985)

 

forgotten tv shows (2)

Unfortunately, they aren’t his wives all at the same time – that might’ve actually been interesting. Instead, we get a douche bag detective and his three hot ex-wives (who, let’s face it, never would have been attracted to this loser in the first place). Predictably stale hi-jinx ensue.

 

When the Whistle Blows (1980)

 

forgotten tv shows (3)
Synopsis: Unfunny construction worker misfits commit tomfoolery much to the chagrin of their even less funny bosses. Even copious amounts of eye candy in the form of Susan Buckner couldn’t save this dud.

Here’s an episode complete with original commercials entitled “Miss Hard Hat USA” guest starring Barbi Benton.

 

 

 

Shadow Chasers (1985)

 

forgotten tv shows (7)

Of the 106 shows on the 3 big US networks in the 1985-86 season, Shadow Chasers finished dead last. It was up against a couple heavy hitters, Magnum PI and The Cosby Show, so maybe it deserved better. The series was created by Brian Grazier (Imagine Entertainment co-founder and the man behind Apollo 13 and A Beautiful Mind). So, perhaps it had potential – although, this clip seems to prove otherwise….

 

 

 

The Two of Us (1981)

 

forgotten tv shows (5)
A single mother places an ad for a housekeeper, and who should answer but Peter Cook. What follows is an endless stream of jokes highlighting the differences between stereotypical British culture and stereotypical American culture. It’s so tiresome and predictable it’ll have you yearning for Yakov Smirnoff…. and I don’t need to tell you that if you’re yearning for Yakov, you’re in a very dark place indeed.

 

Posted: 16th, April 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (7)