Posts Tagged ‘manchester united’
West Brom Fans Mock Manchester United With Tom Daley And Hello Kitty
West Bromwich Albion’s Stephane Sessegnon celebrates scoring his sides first goal of the game during the Barclays Premier League match at The Hawthorns, West Bromwich.
MANCHESTER Untted drew 2-2 with West Bromwich Albion in the Premier League tonight. United are a shadow of their former selves. But an away draw at The Baggies is not too shabby.
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Posted: 20th, October 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Chelsea, Arsenal, Sami Khedira And A Bouncing Cech
TRANSFER Balls: Much talk about Sami Khedira, the Real Madrid and Germany player linked with a move to Arsenal and Chelsea.
The Mirror has news:
Chelsea have stormed ahead of Arsenal in the race for Sami Khedira – after it emerged that Real Madrid are looking to sign goalkeeper Petr Cech despite being linked with Manchester United’s David De Gea.
That entire story is based on the Daily Express. Yes, we know. The Mirror suipplies no link to the Express.
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Posted: 14th, October 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: A Killer In The Hotel And The Newspaper Offices
THE Sun leads with news of Manchester United and the killer in the hotel.
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Posted: 14th, October 2014 | In: manchester united, Reviews | Comment
Transfer Balls: Manchester United’s Paul Pogba Dreams Of Arsenal, Wants Chelsea, Hunted By Liverpool But Moves To Manchester City
TRANSFER Balls: Is Paul Pogba heading to Manchester City. The Times says City are weighing up a move for the former Manchester United player, now with Juventus.
And he’s heading to the Etihad. Well, maybe:
Pogba, 21, has established himself as one of the top young players in Europe since leaving Manchester United for Turin two years ago and City are understood to have identified him as one of a number of possible midfield targets.
Such as…?
Ross Barkley is another option being considered by City, who inquired in June about the prospect of signing the Everton and England midfielder, only to be quoted a £50 million fee.
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Posted: 11th, October 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Hardman Roy Keane Beats The Living Daylights Out Of Chelsea’s Jose Mourinho
BY now you’ll be wondering what former Manchester United captain Roy Keane has been up. How’s the anger? Are the dogs well?
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Posted: 10th, October 2014 | In: Chelsea, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Roy Keane Finally Escapes The Haaland Trauma
Alf-Inge Rasdal “Alfie” Håland replies
MANCHESTER United’s former captain Roy Keane has a book out. It’s his second autobiography. To show how much he’s moved on, he talks of former Leeds Untied midfielder Alf-Inge Rasdal “Alfie” Håland:
“It was action; it was football. It was dog eats dog. I’ve kicked lots of players and I know the difference between hurting somebody and injuring somebody. I didn’t go to injure Haaland. When you play sport, you know how to injure somebody. There was no premeditation.”
Or as he put it in his 2002 autobiography:
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Posted: 8th, October 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: 8 More Sweary Extracts From Roy Keane’s Autobiography
YOU read the first tirade of extracts from Roy Keane’s second autobiography, The Second Half, now read more of the former Manchester United captain’s ghost-written barbs, as seen in The Second Half. The third autobiography will surely be called Fergie Time, followed by Walks With My Dog, Who’ Is AFeckin’ Good Listener.
On Patrick Vieira:
“If it had come to a fight, Patrick could probably have killed me.”
On an encoutner with former United assistant manger Carlos Queiroz on a training camp on the Algarve:
“He [Queiroz] was just on my right shoulder; how I didn’t f******* hit him again — I was thinking, ‘The villa in Portugal, not treating me well in training — and he just used the word “loyalty” to me’… I said, ‘Don’t you f****** talk to me about loyalty, Carlos. You left this club after 12 months a few years ago for the Real Madrid job…”
Ferguson: “I’ve had enough of all this,.”
Keane: “You as well , gaffer. We need f****** more from you. We’re slipping behind other teams.”
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Manchester United Balls: 7 Hateful Extracts From Roy Keane’s Autobiography
PIES has some good bits from former Manchester United captain Roy Keane’s second autobiography. Ghost written by Irish novelist Roddy Doyle, The Second Half picks up where his first left off – in that basically it’s a long, extended list of the many, many things and people he hates.
Here’s the best of what we’ve stumbled across so far…
1. From the very first chapter. Has Roy’s view of Alf-Inge Haaland softened over the years?
“There are things I regret in my life and he’s not one of them.”
No. No it has not.
2. On the fond treasured memories he has of his emotional United exit:
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Posted: 6th, October 2014 | In: Books, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Will Sign Radamel Falcao As Soon As Manchester City Let Him Go
At least it means he’ll buy a new shirt every year
CAN it be true that Manchester United have agreed to keep Radamel Falcao at the club – and that the player has accepted a weekly wage of £250,000, plus add ons?
And United will pay Monaco a tranfer fee of £43.5m?
The Press is full of news that the deal has been done. The Express reports:
Radamel Falcao has agreed personal terms over a £43.5m permanent transfer to Old Trafford. The Colombian striker is on a season-long loan deal from Monaco but he is keen to complete a full-time switch. United have agreed to pay Falcao £250,000-a-week plus add ons in a £43.5m deal.
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Posted: 3rd, October 2014 | In: Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)
Transfer Balls: Cristiano Ronaldo Picks Up His Manchester United Pension
CAN the Daily Express keep the Cristiano Ronaldo to Manchester Untied story alive for ages? Yes. It’s cooked up a cracking non-story:
CRISTIANO RONALDO could make a dramatic return to Manchester United in 2016…
As the Express looks forward to 15 months of Ronaldo to United speculation, the paper’s James Dickenson conjures a story from nothing:
CRISTIANO RONALDO is set to make a dramatic return to Manchester United in 2016, according to Spanish football expert Guillem Balague.
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Posted: 30th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Wayne Rooney Blames Defenders And His Independent Leg For Red Card
WHEN Manchester United captain Wayne Roony was sent off, Alan Shearer had yhe focus of his Sun column settled:
WAYNE ROONEY’S stupidity was symptomatic of just where Manchester United are right now.
Rooney was sent off not because he’s an agressive berk. Rooney was sent off because United are in a “confused mess”.
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Posted: 29th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Manchester United Figure On Cristiano Ronaldo
TRANSFER Balls: Is Cristiano Ronaldo leving Real Madrid to play for Manchester United?
Admittedly, Roanldo has hardly been pouring old water on rumours that he wants out of Real, telling media:
“I love Manchester; everyone knows that – I have said it many times. Manchester is in my heart. I left many good friends there, the supporters are amazing and I wish I can come back one day.”
And thyen he said:
“It is all speculation. I’m happy at Madrid. I won’t talk about my future, it doesn’t make sense.”
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Posted: 26th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Spurs Fans Attack Manchester United In The Saddest Way Imaginable
IN football, you define yourself by your rivals. And Spurs – who last won the league title in 1961 – have decided that the team they can rib and goad is Manchester United, who have won the league title in colour.
This T-shirt was spotted for sale outside White Hart Lane tonight, where Spurs were playing Nottingham Forest (league winners: 1977).
The TV show being lampooned by Wayne Rooney, Angel Dia Maria and Louis Van Gaal (two players who would walk into the Spurs side and a manager who declined the offer to manage Spurs) is Only Fools And Horses, which after peaking in the early 1980s, dribbled on until it excited only as a nostalgic tick, a Christmas treat right up there with adverts for Iceland’s frozen squirrels.
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Posted: 24th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports, Spurs | Comments (3)
Transfer Balls: Manchester United Linked To Gerard Pique Who Is Happy To ‘Fail’ At Barcelona
TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express (natch.) has news that “MANCHESTER UNITED are lining up a sensational return for Barcelona and Spain star Gerard Pique”.
United buying a decent defender is a sensation. But what are the facts about Pique?
Anthony Chapman writes:
Despite turning out for the La Liga outfit 269 times, winning four league title, two Copa del Reys and two Champions Leagues in the process, Pique has failed to make an impression under new boss Luis Enrique.
Failed to make an impression? Because in May, the Mirror reported:
Club president Josep Maria Bartomeu says the Blaugrana are holding onto “the best centre-back in the world and a core part of the new project here”
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Posted: 24th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United: Just another Chelsea
FOR a long time now, Manchester United fans have goaded other clubs for throwing their money around and buying various titles, accusing their rivals of having no soul.
Of course, ManYoo are no better, from their club-made banners that hang in the stadium to the very obvious huge sums of money they’ve thrown around themselves at their various squads. Sure, they’ve played some lads from the youth team, but that doesn’t make them any better than their competitors. In fact, in a lot of cases, they’ve spent more money that the rivals they mock.
This year, we saw Man Utd spend 18% of ALL the money forked out by Premier League clubs in this summer’s transfer window.
The club splashed £59.7m on Angel di Maria from Real Madrid alone, while in the meantime, selling off two promising young strikers from their squad in Welbeck and Hernandez. Even in Falcao, a mere loan player, Man Utd will be paying him more money than Wayne Rooney earns. Falcao will be getting more money from Old Trafford bosses than Arsenal will pay Alexis Sanchez and Mesut Ozil combined.
And now, former Manchester United defender Phil Neville thinks that the club need another spending spree, with a £100 million-plus blurt required if they’re going to challenge for the league title.
With new manager Louis van Gaal throwing money around like a new lottery winner on Di Maria, Luke Shaw, Ander Herrera, Marcos Rojo, Daley Blind and Radamel Falcao, Neville thinks that there’s more cash to be spent.
“I know United have spent £150m,” he told BBC Radio 5 Live. “I think there’s another two transfer windows of similar amounts of money needed – maybe £100m – before they can even think about winning the title. There are still key positions in the team that need filling. I think the centre-back position is obviously the key area. Holding midfield or centre midfield needs addressing too.”
‘There were no world-class centre backs out there (this summer). I think that’s why in the next two transfer windows, United might still be looking for that world-class defender.”
Of course, there’s a number of fans who will love this, because a maintainable business model or the heart of a club don’t matter when all you’re concerned about is numbers and trophies. It must stick in the craw of older Man United fans who see their fellow fans concerning themselves only with how many trophies the club have and how much money they can spend.
There’s Manchester United fans who sing to smaller teams “We’ve got a stand that’s bigger than your ground”, or supporters who mock Arsenal for their lack of trophies. A product of the ‘football is a results business’ rhetoric, which is making many elements of professional football so achingly tedious, Manchester United, naturally, does have a heart and soul, just like Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City & Co, but it has been swallowed by short memories and overdrafts.
The Top 5 Mentality is the single most tedious facet of modern football, with more games happening each weekend that aren’t even in the Premier League. Manchester United’s fans who define their love by success are, whether they like it or not, the thing they level against hooting Liverpool fans who bleat on about the 70s and 80s, and the thing they berate Chelsea and Manchester City for.
And now, in the post Ferguson years, Manchester United fans are finding out, or being reminded, that reputation and cheque books count for nothing and that, you better find something else to love and enjoy about football because, without the success, you’ll have nothing to cheer about.
At Old Trafford, the young players aren’t valued like they were, the club is getting into dangerous debt, managers are binned off without completing a season and it doesn’t look like the rot in the boardroom is being protected from the people who are required to get results on match day.
It’s easy to tell yourself you’ve heart and soul when you’ve got a club that has the money to design it and implement it for you…
Posted: 23rd, September 2014 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Di Maria Invites You To Kick His Family In The Face
EVERY time you kick Manchester United’s Angel Di Maria in the shins, you kick his wife and daughter in the face. Well, not really them, more the photograph of the player’s family he keeps tucked into his socks.
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Posted: 22nd, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Manchester United Sell Mata To Juventus Because They Already Bought Vidal
TRANSFER Balls: Are Juventus going to buy Manchester United’s Juan Mata?
On September 9, the Express reported tht Mata was waned by Juventus, Atletico Madrid and Valencia. All three clusb are considering making £24m offers for the former Chelsea man.
Alex Harris then adds:
The Old Lady’s interest in the playmaker could push Red Devils boss Louis van Gaal to pursue a swap deal involving box-to-box midfielder Arturo Vidal.
That wold be the Arturo Vidal who joined Manchester Untied in the summer. We read that new in the Express.
United never did buy De Jong. And Vidal never did move to United.
In any case, £24m is not enough for Juventus to buy Mata. As the Star said on September 9, United are asking £30m for the midfielder:
And so to the Express’ news of September 17:
Juventus don’t want Mata. But do Valencia and Atletico?
Mata has been one of the few players to make an impression for the Red Devils this season, and Louis Van Gaal is not willing to let him for Juventus unless a swap deal involving Arturo Vidal can be struck.
And on it goes.
More utter balls presented as news in the mainstream media every day….
Posted: 18th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment (1)
Manchester United Balls: Fan Gets ‘Sir Alex Feguson’ Is Dead Tattoo
MANCHESTER United fan of the day is the schmuck who got a ‘Sir Alex Feguson’ tattoo on his arm.
Who is Sir Alex Feguson. And what did he do in his 27 years on Earth?
Posted: 18th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: ‘PSG Goalkeeper’ Invites Manchester United Fans To Plunder Paris
TRANSFER Balls: The Daily Express continues to be rich source for utter drivel presented as rumour-based fact.
Today, the paper tells readers that Paris Saint-Germain goalkeeper has “risked the wrath of United fans by suggesting he wasn’t sad to see Angel Di Maria move to Manchester”.
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Posted: 17th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United: Wayne Rooney Wants To Emulate Real Madrid’s Raul
MANCHESTER United captain Wayne Rooney has told the club’s TV station that he wants to play at Old Trafford for ages.
“I hope I can do 15 years. I’ve just signed a new long-term deal and hopefully I’ll be looking back on 15 years in five years time.”
Does anyone else think at 33-years-old Rooney will still be a Manchester Untied’s striker?
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Posted: 17th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Rio Ferdinand Lends Ronaldo His Hotpants
IT’S Day three of the Sun’s serialisation of former Manchester United player Rio Ferdinand’s autoibiography. Having dealt with the John Terry racism disastre and David Moyes’ disgust at low-fat chips, Rio turns to “banter”.
He notes:
Anything at all that sticks out about someone becomes a thing you tease them over.
Anything? Well, it’s about context, isn’t it. It’s about pressing buttons and getting a rise. But it’s got it’s limits. Does the player comment on the other one’s skin tones, hair, girlfiend’s figure or race? The footballing authorities have clamped down on anything racist, homophobic, xenophobic, anti-Semitic, misogynistic and anti-religious. So Spurs fans calling themselves ‘Yids’ is no longer banter but racist. Glasgow Celtic and Rangers fans singing sectarian tunes are not bantering but fomenting a riot.
The authorities make no effort to separate words from intent.
So. Wht did Rio think it was ok to say? Well, he made fun of Wayne Rooney’s hair. And:
When Cristiano Ronaldo wore tight jeans we used to destroy him: “We can see the veins in your b******s, what’s going on?” But he would laugh and come back and say: “You English guys don’t know fashion, what are you talking about?”
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Posted: 16th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Cristiano Ronaldo Finds £500,000 Reasons To Love Manchester United
TRANSFER Balls: The Mirror and Express leads with news that Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo wants to play for Manchester United.
The Mirror has Ronaldo asking Manchester United to “TAKE ME BACK”.
Only, Ronaldo has not asked United to take him back.
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Posted: 16th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Talking Balls: Manchester United Falcao Is ISIS Nutjob Shakir Wahiyib: Arsenal’s Ozil To Munich
TALKING Balls: A look at media reporting on Arsenal’s Germnan midfielder Mesut Ozil and Manchester United’s Radamel Falcao.
The often straw-clutching CaughtOffside says Ozil is heading to Bayern Munich for £32m. The Guardian picks that up and reports it.
Number of direct quotes cited: none.
Number of sources cited: none.
Facts to support headline: none.
The site Fanatiz calls Ozil a “flop”. Is he? Well, no. He isn’t. It’s just that for £41m, you expect more.
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Posted: 15th, September 2014 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Rio Ferdinand Says Moyes Banned Them From Eating Low-Fat Chips
AS former Manchester Untied defedner Rio Ferdinand returned to Old Trafford with new club QPR – and looked on as the visitors shipped four goals – the Sun picked up the scent of chips. The headline informs readers:
Moyes slowly lost us… and it began when he banned our chips the night before a game – Rio on the manager that didn’t fit in at Man Utd
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Posted: 15th, September 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Angel Delight Watch: Manchester United’s Di Maria Is The Taste Of 1970s Puns
MANCHESTER United’s record signing Angel Di Maria scored against QPR, so proving that £200m can buy a club out of a trouble.
As the ball hit the net. Sky Sport’s Martin Tyler oozed:
“We’ve seen some Angel delight here today.”
Angel delight. We’ll try to keep track of the number of times that pun is used. The question “how do you solve a problem like Di Maria?” will also be looked out for.
Coral, the bookmakers on the Manchester United sweetie:
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Posted: 14th, September 2014 | In: Key Posts, manchester united, Sports | Comment
