Posts Tagged ‘manchester united’
Manchester United Balls: David Moyes Says Van Persie And Arsenal’s Nicklas Bendtner Are Special Players
MANCHESTER United manger David Moyes is delighted with Robin Van Persie, the former Arsenal captain who kept the Red Devils on track for Champions’ League glory with three decisive goals in a 3-2 win over the mighty (it says here) Olympiacos.
Says Moyes:
“To score a hat-trick in Champions League football is a big thing,” said a giddy David Moyes. “Only certain players in the world are capable of doing it – and Robin is one of them.”
Just RVP and 68 other special players, like Juul Ellerman, Mike Newell, Uwe Rösler and – a role on the drums – Nicklas Bendtner.
Posted: 21st, March 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Adrian Durham’s Fight With A Paper Bag
ADRIAN Durham is the TalkSport opinion baiter with a column to fill to deadline for the Daily Mail. This week, Durham comes up with a system whereby big teams automatically get into the Champions’ League.
United BELONG in the Champions League and if they finish fifth or sixth they should snub Europa… it’s a tournament for losers
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Posted: 11th, March 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Fans Not Buying Seats For Olympiacos Banned From Watching Manchester City Derby
MANCHESTER United have sent this letter to their fans. It states:
Transcript:
Dear…
The deadline to buy your seat for Olympiacos FC is Wednesday 26th February 2014 at 8pm. Please note that not buying this ticket will result in your Season Ticket being suspended for the Manchester City game. We look forward to hearing from your shortly.
You’ve got to like the menace of that last line.
Modern football really is all about greed.
Posted: 27th, February 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comments (3)
Manchester United Head To Turkey To Play, Er, Olympiacos
HANDS up Manchester United fans who knew where Olympiacos play their home matches? You don’t have to be all the precise, just naming the country will do.
Those of you who get your news from the Daily Express, hard cheese.
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Posted: 24th, February 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United: Wayne Rooney Signs For Four Years, Five Years And Life
Everton Manager David Moyes looks happy after teenage Wayne Rooney signs his first professional contract. Date: 17/01/2003
WAYNE Rooney is to sing a new contract to play for Manchester United. The Red Devils have touched his heart to such a degree that he will play for them so long as they up his wage packet to £300,000 a week. What say the papers:
Metro: “Wayne Rooney to sign record-breaking £70m deal that will keep him at Manchester United for life”
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Dinnerladies For David Moyes: A Look At The Manchester United Manager As Stoke City Win
DAVID Moyes Watch: The current Manchester United manager is having a torrid time. Today his Red Devils lost to mighty Stock City, managed by former Untied player Mark Hughes. The more we looked, the more we noticed that Moyes not only resembles Hugh Laurie; he looks a lot like Thelma Barlow, who played Coronation Street’s soft-centred Mavis Riley and then one of Victoria Wood’s Dinnerladies. Someone get him a tabard:
Hughes eyes Moyes’ job
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Posted: 1st, February 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Manager David Moyes Reveals His 10 Tips For Penalty Success
WHEN Manchester United lost a penalty shoot-out to Sunderland in last night’s League Cup semi-final, we remembered a 2010 article he wrote for the Times:
David Moyes: How to win a penalty shootout
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Posted: 23rd, January 2014 | In: Key Posts, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Revealed: Manchester United’s Chris Smalling Is A Jihadi Pretending To Be A Footballer
MANCHESTER United defender Chris Smalling might be a jihadi. Last night, Smalling and his girlfriend hosted a private fancy dress party to celebrate Christmas and their respective birthdays. Smalling came as ‘The Jagerbomber’. He was the jihadi with Red Bull and Jagermeister cans and bottles strapped to his vestments.
Can it be that in the privacy of his own home, Smalling relaxes in his more usual attire as an Islamist hellbent on the destruction of the West? Is he plotting to bomb Old Trafford, owned by those infidel Jews in partnership with their traditional bedfellow, the Red Devil?
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Posted: 9th, January 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Moyes Has £450m To Spend, Experts Say
HOW much money has Manchester Untied’s David to spend on boosting his failing team?
The Sun: “MANCHESTER UNITED’S owners have told David Moyes: Splash the cash. Joel Glazer and his family will give boss Moyes a £50million war chest”
Daily Mirror: “DAVID MOYES has around £100million to salvage Manchester United’s season, but has been told not to spend it on ‘quick fixes'”
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Posted: 8th, January 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Mini Cab For Moyes: A Look At The Manchester United Manager’s Expressions As The Red Devils Lost To Swansea
MINI Cab For Moyes: A Look At The Manchester United Manager’s Expression As The Red Devils Lost To Spurs Swansea:
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Posted: 5th, January 2014 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United Balls: Zlatan Ibrahimovic To Bring Moyes Harmony
THE Daily Robbie Savage: Today Savage uses his insight to tell Daily Mirror readers what David Moyes need do to make Manchester United great:
Why David Moyes must rip up this team and sign Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Buy the Swede as a new Cantona plus Ross Barkley, Adam Lallana and Luke Shaw, tie down Wayne Rooney and build the back four around Phil Jones.
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Posted: 13th, December 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Transfer Balls: Manchester United And The Bruno Gomes ‘Snub’
TRANSFER Balls: Did Manchester Untied get snubbed by Brazilian wonderkid (it says here) Bruno Gomes? The Daily Mail seems to think so. Hell, it says so:
He’s met Fergie and the players, taken a tour of Old Trafford and posed wearing the shirt… but Brazilian teenager Bruno Gomes is the latest star to snub United move
The silly sod. United are huge. Adam Crafton (as in craft on a story to a headline or photo) adds:
Manchester United have missed out on signing long-term target Bruno Gomes, after the striker declared that he has agreed to join Internacional.
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Posted: 10th, December 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United and Chelsea Balls: BBC And The Sun Portray Mourinho And Moyes As Blithering Idiots
FOOTBALL reporting is all about conjuring a story from pretty much nothing. In certain hands it’s all about extremes.
On Saturday, the BBC reported on Manchester United’s home defeat to Newcastle United. News was that Man United’s David Moyes was saying his team could still win the Premier League:
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Posted: 9th, December 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
A Manchester United Defeat Still Leads The Sports Pages
MANCHESTER United were beaten by Newcastle Untied in the Premier League on the same day that Liverpool moved into second spot, Stoke scored three to beat Chelsea and an injury ravaged Southampton draw with big-spending Manchester City.
And all the papers lead with Manchester United and their manager David Moyes. It’s not all over for United, who continue to set the news agenda. The club’s fans will know the game’s up when defeats are no longer the nations’s lead football story:
The Sunday People leads with a picture of Moyes and news that Luis Suarez plays for Uruguay.
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Posted: 8th, December 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Manchester United & England Balls: Phil Jones’ Midfield Role Erased From Record Books
COMPARE and contrast the words of the Daily Mirror’s Martin Lipton on Manchester United and England player Phil Jones:
“Hodgson has always picked Jones as a defender and deployed him primarily at right-back” – December 5, 2013
Or as Lipton said when Brazil played England waaaaay back in June 2013:
“Jagielka and Cahill will play centrally in that back four, Carrick and Jones in front of them at the base of the midfield.”
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Posted: 5th, December 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Arsenal & Manchester United Balls: Wise Garth Crooks’ Puts His Champagne On Ice
GARTH Crooks, the most earnest man in sport, for whom every comment is weighed with the wisdom of Solomon and the pressed palms of a Saint contemplating the spiritual meaning of a John Terry header. And then he pauses. As if deep in thought. And then speaks slowly in short sentences, so that scribes may best be able to jot down his words exactly. He picks. His team. Of the week. For the BBC. It’s not a team, of course. It’s just XI names who have done well over the previous Premier League weekend. This week he made his choices.
Garth gaze upon Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey:
I don’t think there can be any greater accolade than when a former player acknowledges respect for his former club by not celebrating a goal.
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Posted: 4th, December 2013 | In: Arsenal, Sports, Spurs | Comment
Manchester United Balls:Paul Scholes – 40 Years Old and Still Got Goals
PAUL Scholes misses the old days when he used to amble about on a football pitch, scoring some goals and scything other humans down who wanted to have a go with the ball.
He misses them so much that he still likes a kickabout. Of course, while all his Man Utd mates are doing really exciting things – The Neville Brothers and Nicky Butt are all coaching, David Beckham is stupidly famous and Ryan Giggs is [comment redacted thanks to injunction] – leaving ol’ Scholesy to wander around Oldham like he’s on the dole.
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Fulham: When Ex-Manchester United Coach Rene Meulensteen Picked An Elephant To Play For Brondby
FULHAM’s new Head Coach, Rene Meulensteen gets a mention in Per Nielsen’s autobiography 4 Per Nielsen – Brøndby for evigt?. Rene coachjed Per at Danish club Brøndby IF.
Meulensteen immediately changed the daily routines around the squad. At first, a lot of small things like when the club had to train and when they had to leave for matches. Later he decided to change the colour of the hallway leading to the team’s locker room at the stadium from yellow (which is Brøndby’s shirt colour) to green. This was intended to give the player’s hope and calm them down when they went from the pitch to the locker room after the first half. He explained to the squad that since they were excited after the first half they needed to calm down a bit. Nielsen, and the rest of the squad, were wondering why this was important because they needed to be ready and excited for the second half a moment later anyway.
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Manchester United In (No) Rush To Offer Wayne Rooney £52m
WHAT news of Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney? The Sun says he’s about to land a huge £52m deal to carryon playing at Old Trafford. So enamoured with Rooney are United’s money men that they are in a “rush” to keep him at the club until he’s 32.
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Posted: 16th, November 2013 | In: manchester united, Sports | Comment
Arsenal fan now homeless thanks to Man United bet
FOOTBALL does wonderfully peculiar things to people. Human adults wear suits to play finals of matches on computer games while others will name their children after entire teams from the 70s.
Yes, we’re looking at you Charlie Oatway of Sunderland FC, or to give him his full name, Anthony Philip David Terry Frank Donald Stanley Gerry Gordon Stephen James Oatway (he’s named after the entire promotion-winning QPR team of 1973).
More recently, there’s an Arsenal fan who has come a cropper thanks to his football fanaticism and he learned that you shouldn’t ever bet your house on anything.
Literally.
Henry Dhabasani put a wager on, involving his two-room property on the Arsenal beating Manchester United at Old Trafford. Rashid Yiga was more than happy to see the bet and they both settled down to the grudge game on Sunday.
Dhabasani gambled his house while Yiga offered up his new Toyota Premio AND his wife. The two signed their bet in front of local leaders and other football fans in Iganga.
Manchester United won the game 1-0 and Dhabasani promptly fainted on the final whistle. Reports say that, the next day, several United fans stormed the place where Henry lived with his three wives and five children and chucked them out onto the street.
[via MEN]
Posted: 15th, November 2013 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Reviews, Sports | Comment
Arsenal Fan Lost Home To Manchester United Fan Who Staked His Wife In Bet
WHEN Arsenal lost to Manchester United, one man suffered more than most. In Uganda, Iganga, a staunch Arsenal fan is looking for a home.
Before the game, Henry Dhabasani staked his two-roomed house in a bet with Rashid Yiga, that Arsenal would win the game. On his part, Yiga staked his new Toyota Premio car and his wife that Manchester United would win.”
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Posted: 13th, November 2013 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comments (2)
Coat Balls: Manchester United’s Robin Van Persie Does An Impression Of Chelsea’s FKW John Terry
ROBIN Van Persie is a lot of things – a top finisher for United’ a turncoat for Arsenal – but he is no John Terry. If you are going to call anyone a JT you’d best get your facts straight. PVP has been called a lot of names but labelling him a JT might result in a libel action and pardonable violence.
So, then, to David Ken in the Daily Mail:
You’re not fooling anyone, Robin! Were there shades of JT’s infamous Euro gaffe as substitute Van Persie strips out of his coat to celebrate against Arsenal?
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Posted: 12th, November 2013 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comment
Arsenal and Manchester City Are Useless : Ian Wright Joins Fools’ Chorus Of Praise For Manchester United
IAN Wright adds his tuppence worth of views (the Sun pays him a lot more than that? – Ed) on Arsenal’s 1-0 defeat to Manchester United.
As Paul Hayward put it:
No team who win at Borussia Dortmund and lead the Premier League by two points at the end of Remembrance Sunday can be placed in a coconut shy for losing to a majestic Robin van Persie header at Manchester United. To dismiss the Arsenal revival after such an explainable setback would be intellectual vandalism.
Cue Ian Wright:
United have proved time and again that this time of the season is all about accumula-ting points, however you get them. And in many cases, that’s down to scrapping for your lives and making sure that if you don’t win the game, at least you don’t lose it.
Yep, Ian. The most points wins. Got it. Thanks.
Learning curves don’t come much steeper than the one Arsenal got on Sunday — and it’s a lesson they must learn from quickly.
Learning through an way win in the Champions’ League against last season’s runners up was pretty steep. Beating Liverpool 2-0 was steep. But that was earlier in the week, a lifetime away in Wright’s opinion-to-deadline world:
I realise I have to calm down a little on my hopes and expectations.
What do you expect, Ian?
A lot of Arsenal players haven’t really been in too many genuine pressure situations before and it’s something they are going to have to handle…it’s an issue they need to get to grips with sharpish. It’s a similar story with Manchester City…because another poor away defeat — their fourth — has exposed flaws there as well.
So, Arsenal – packed with internationals and managed by 64-years-old Arsene Wenger – and Man City, who won the league title on the last day of the season and are managed by former Real Madrid coach Manuel Luis Pellegrini Ripamonti – can’t handle pressure?
City may have the most expensive and glamorous squad. But they’ve got to realise when they go to the likes of Cardiff, Sunderland and Villa that those fans will be right up for it, making loads of noise, with the players desperate to rattle the big names.
Do you think they know that? How does Wright think you become a footballer at a top club, by accident? You don’t work your socks off? You don’t scrap it out and dedicate yourself to the game?
The quality is in no doubt, but all those big names have to realise fixtures like Sunderland aren’t going to be easy… Of course it’s important to win the big games but you win the Premier League by scrapping it out in the muck or nettles matches.Ones when it’s not pretty, it’s not eye-catching but it’s about heart, desire and determination. Ones where you nick a 1-0 win without being at your best, get the points and get back on the bus.
Like Arsenal did when they beat Crystal Palace with 10 men; and defeated Newcastle United away on the last day of the last season in a must-win match to qualify for the Champions’ League? And didn’t Man City beat Man United 4-1 this season? (No need to check – they did.)
If it stays as tight as this, the experience of handling the heat will be vital. And no one has it more than United.
No? Not Wenger and Pelligrini but Moyes has the experience of winning titles in Wright’s world.
That’s why Sunday showed Arsenal and City still have work to do in that department. They’re going to have to learn quickly otherwise they will end up empty-handed come next May.
To recap: David Moyes has never managed a team that has won the league.
Manchester United V Arsenal: Mouse Invades Pitch (Photo)
AT Manchester United’s Premier League match with Arsenal, the pitch was invaded by a mouse. What can it mean? Is it United manager David Moyes’ lucky pet mouse? The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men…
Watch out for the owls.
Posted: 10th, November 2013 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comments (2)
Arsenal V Manchester United: Lake Tanganyika And New York Mark Historic Encounter
EXCITABLE BBC football commentator Jonathan Pearce presents the Most Tortuous Introduction of the Week:
Sunday marks the 142nd anniversary of one of history’s most famous meetings. It didn’t take place at Old Trafford, but 4,400 miles away on Lake Tanganyika. New York journalist Henry Stanley walked out of the jungle and greeted a Scottish medical missionary with the now famous words: “Dr Livingstone, I presume?” Another Scot is on a mission these days. David Moyes is trying to rediscover the lost soul of Manchester United.
Continues for 90 minutes…
Posted: 10th, November 2013 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, Sports | Comment
