Politicians | Anorak - Part 164

Politicians Category

Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air

Hillary Clinton Does A Paul Tsongas

PAUL Efthemios Tsongas won the New Hampshire primary in 1992.


Posted: 9th, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment

Barack Obama Channels Bob The Builder

BARACK Obama’s 2nd Place in New Hampshire Primary Speech.

Big promises. And then some bigger promises. And then some really big ones. But he just lost. Didn’t he?

But can we do it? Yes we can? Or, moreover, can he do it [become president]? Yes he can. Can I do it? Yes I can etc. etc. etc. Remind me one more time…

It’s a perfect job
Can you fix it
Left a bit, right a little, O.K. straight down
We can tackle any situation
Look out, here we come
Can we dig it Yes
Can we build it Yes
Can we fix it Yes

Bob the Builder
Can we fix it
Bob the Builder
Yes, we can

Posted: 9th, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (3)

Brack Obama Takes On Ron Paul In Web Traffic Race

IS traffic on a candidate’s website a guide to chances of success? If it is Barack Obama has the presidentcy in the bag.‘s attracts as many visitors as his four main rivals’ sites put together. As Gawker points out, in a web election, he’d be up against Ron Paul.


Posted: 9th, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment

Baader-Meinhof Gang Were Much Misunderstood, Say German Greens

THE Croydonian notes: “Jutta Ditfurth, a former Green MP in Germany thinks Ulrike Meinhof had it tough:

Ulrike Meinhof was a much more interesting, much more multi-faceted person than I used to think,” Ditfurth told DW-RADIO. “She was a woman who would have had a huge amount of opportunities and prospects — if only she’d had the good fortune to have grown up somewhere other than Germany.Source.

There can have been few better places to be alive and in early middle age at the time Meinhof decided to become a terrorist. Africa? South America? The Soviet Bloc? China? The Middle East? Indeed, the BRD was such an awful mother to Meinhof that it allowed her to take a brace of degrees and be a full time student for some years before editing a magazine of the extreme left (Konkret), that continues to be published. Frau Ditfurth is an alumna too….

More, much more, on the Baader-Meinhof gang / Red Army Faction here.

Footnote – I *know* that the Raspberry Reich, or more correctly, das Himbeere Reich, was a dismissive term used by the extreme left for the Federal Republic, but it has proved extraordinarily difficult to pin down a reference because every possible form of googling turns up details on a film of the same name that is ‘A critique of terrorist chic from pop culture maverick Bruce LaBruce‘. If anyone can confirm the reference, I will be profoundly grateful.

Posted: 8th, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)

John Prescotts Gives Balls And Mallets A Leathering

john_prescott_tracey_temple.jpgSAYS Klim Seabright, secretary of the Croquet Association, in the Express: “When John Prescott was pictured playing croquet a couple of years ago, our sales [of balls and mallets] went through the roof.”

Veronica Vinyl, chairperson of the Leather Trousers Retail Co-operative, was “in conference” when we called…


Posted: 8th, January 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment

Mike Huckabee Channels Osama bin Laden

SAYS Osama bin Laden: “When we become believers, it’s as if we have signed up to be part of God’s Army, to be soldiers for Allah”

Or, as Mike Huckabee had it: “When we become believers, it’s as if we have signed up to be part of God’s Army, to be soldiers for Christ”

Posted: 7th, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment (1)

John McCain Vows To Get Osama

IF John McCain were taller and younger, he’d win. Says he to Osama Bin Laden: “Osama, I’m going to get you. Even if I have to follow you to the gates of hell, I’ll bring you to justice.”

Posted: 7th, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment

Hillary Clinton’s New Slogan

HILLARY Clinton’s new slogan: “I’m here to identify with the little people, who don’t have $8 million book deals,” Sen. Clinton told a near-capacity crowd at the Orange Julius in the Pheasant Lane Mall in Nashua. “The voters in Iowa said they wanted change. And like my friend Rashid over there at the cash register, I’m saying ‘America, here’s your change’.”


Posted: 7th, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment

Playing At Serious Policy

AS it says: THE SeriousPolicy Game sets the player on a mission to win Treasury funding for a new policy. Players can get advice from Tony Blair, get on Alistair Darling’s nerves, or get congratulated by the PM. Along the way you wander through a virtual Members’ Lobby, pop into a simulated Treasury and are summoned to a stunningly realistic digital Number 10. A Paris Hilton look-alike provides some light relief and the MC has more than a passing resemblance to Keira Knightly.

But this isn’t satire. It’s designed as an example of how computer games can be put to serious use – for both citizen engagement and education. This game aims to:

  • Demonstrate how political processes and decision making can be brought to life in a fun and interesting way through a virtual world
  • Highlight to players, whether they be citizens or policy makers, the importance of public engagement in the decision-making process

Lets work together!

Got a gun for this shoot ’em up? (Only joking)…

Posted: 7th, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment

The Democrat-Republican Group Hug

LGF sees: Political Gross-Out of the Year So Far

“We may have our political gross-out moment of the year already, with the Democrat-Republican group hug that followed the GOP debate”

Politicians hugging each other; kissing each – what happened to kissing babies and nannies?

Posted: 6th, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment

Mr Potato Head Endorses Hillary Clinton And Barack Obama

potato-head-presidential-candidates.jpgANDY Green has met Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.. He got them to take a photo with his Mr. Potato Head:

The story of the young man and his spudhead began in 2004, when Green inherited the toy from his dying grandfather. Grandpa Robert had kept the faux spud on his bedroom shelf, Green says, and treated it like nothing more than a decoration. Green, however, wanted to show the toy around. So wherever he went — and Green’s traveled quite a bit — so went the spudhead. To the Statue of Liberty, Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom, the Marine Corps War Memorial.

His parents and younger sister have a three-word explanation for this.

“That’s just Andy,” says his mom, Jenny Green, a secretary at Clinton Community College.

Says Andy:

He reserves his most intense reactions for Obama and Clinton, both of whom he’s seen face-to-face a few times.

Clinton, Green says, seemed “distant,” “cold,” “fake.”

“Look at her photo with Mr. Potato Head. She’s really smiling, but it looks like a really forced smile. It’s only because I told her she’s one of the last ones to have her photo taken.”

Meanwhile, Obama, Green says, was “engaging,” “open,” “just like one of us.”

“Look at his photo with Mr. Potato Head. He got into it. He’s really having fun.”


Posted: 6th, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment

The Nuclear Power Family

DIZZY looks at nuclear power:

The Independent on Sunday has a rather interesting story about the development of nuclear energy policy from the Government. They say that the Government is about to publish their White Paper recommending we build more nuclear power plants (now there’s a surprise!) and part of it will include what it is calling bribes for local community to accept greater dumping of nuclear waste in their areas.

What is interesting in this whole sage is that there is also an article in the Sunday Times which accuses Brown of running an 18th Century-style family clique at the top of Government. As I read it, before the Sindy’s article, I thought to myself how they had missed the Nuclear Family Affair at the top as well.

Most people know that consultation on nuclear was a sham designed to make money for yet more of Gordon’s friends and produce an already known outcome. Now, it seems that, just in case anyone gets a little upset, they’re going to throw cash at people to keep them sweet instead.


Posted: 6th, January 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comment (1)

Hillary Clinton Responds

HILLARY Clinton – why don’t they like me?

Posted: 6th, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment

Highways Agency Forecasts For 2007

THE Highways Agency’s handy traffic forecaster goes back to the future:

Posted: 3rd, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment

Nicholas Soames Hunts For Global Warming And Context

THAT’S “Tory buffoon” Nicholas Soames riding a quad bike with “a youngster” perched on the back.

The Mirror (“QUAD AN IDIOT”) looks on and notes that none of the youngsters (three in all) are not wearing crash helmets, parachutes, stab-proof vests or replica football kits. An eyewitness says the vehicle can go at about 20phm. This witness is “gobsmacked” at what he sees.

Says Soames: “Come on, we were following the hounds…I was only on a public road for few hundred yards and is hardly the M25.”

Soames make his point. Gobsmacked readers may well agree. Other gobsmacked readers may hear the word hunt and wish a lingering an unpleasant death upon Soames.

But it is all about context. The Mirror notes that less than a week ago seven-year-old Elizabeth Cook was killed riding a quad bike. She was riding it on her own along an Essex Road. No foxes or “BILLY BLUNDER” MPs were involved. But the point is being made. Context is provided

Soames then ratchets it up. He wants it placed in a still bigger context. “What with Darfur, Pakistan and Kenya, it’s hardly the biggest scandal of the moment,” says he.

The Mirror then places the event in the context of education and class: “This is proof…that any expensive education is no substitute for common sense.” Soames is fat. The incident is placed in the context of the obesity epidemic.

The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents puts it in the context of a massacre. Talking through the grid of the organisation’s official helmet, the spokesperson says: “All those children and adults are in danger. Even a minor collision would send them flying all over the road”.

Context is all. And the argument will go on until all parties agree that in the current context of global warming it is a deep tragedy…

Posted: 3rd, January 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment

Mitt Romney’s 1000 Year Reich

IN the new advert, Presidential runner Mitt Romney opines:

In the next ten years, we’ll see more progress, more change than the world has seen in the last ten centuries.

Now that’s optimism…

Posted: 3rd, January 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment

Benazir Bhutto, Gordon Brown And The Taliban

BENAZIR Bhutto is murdered and Gordon Brown makes a stand:

Gordon Brown: “Knowing, as she did, the threats to her life, the previous attempt at assassination, she risked everything in her attempt to win democracy in Pakistan, and she has been assassinated by cowards afraid of democracy. This is a dark day for everyone who believed in a stable and democratic future for Pakistan. Benazir Bhutto may have been killed by terrorists, but the terrorists must not be allowed to kill democracy in Pakistan. And this atrocity strengthens our resolve that terrorists will not win there, here or anywhere in the world”

No surrender. Unless…

Gordon Brown And The Taliban: “Spies from Britain’s MI6 are thought to have held at least six meetings with key Taliban figures in order to negotiate a peace deal in Afghanistan’s south-eastern Helmand province. The revelations are an embarrassment to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, who just a fortnight ago denied in the British Parliament any such talks were taking place”

Fearless stuff. Benazir Bhutto is missed…

“If it means sacrificing our lives, if it means sacrificing our liberties to save Pakistan, then we are prepared to risk our lives and we are prepared to risk our liberties, but we are not prepared to surrender our great nation to the militants” – Benazir Bhutto.

Posted: 27th, December 2007 | In: Politicians | Comments (27)

Chile’s Herald, Tony Blair And Other Catholic Nutters

pope_blair.jpgWITH a delivering his dossier to the priest – “I confess I was too honest, too radical, too daring, too honest, too loving” etc. – the Sun’s Adrian Chiles puts things in perspective.

Says Chiles: “So, our former leader has spent his first Christmas as a Roman Catholic. Oddly enough, so have I.”

Why this should be odd, we are not told. Only: “I became a Catholic last Easter. Be honest, when you read that you started thinking I’m, a bit of a nutter, didn’t you.”

Well, no. Honest. Cross our hearts and hope to die. A nutter is someone who smashes up a church, blows himself up on a crowded train, or converts to Islam or Judaism.

A poll of readers at Anorak Towers reveals that over half think Chiles is just someone wearing his religion on his sleeve, while the other half confesses to not giving a monkey’s if Chiles worships cargo planes, Satan or Gonks.

“And I’m not bothered if anyone thinks I’m barking,” says Chiles. Well, if you’re not bothered, then we can all move on…

Posted: 27th, December 2007 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (2)

Mike Huckabee And Tony Blair’s Great Turkey Shoot

hunting-huckabee.jpgMIKE Huckabee, US presidential wannabe, has shot a pheasant. Deliberately.

“The truth is hunters are the ones who preserve the species,” says he. “In many cases extinction comes from not having some level of hunting. It’s the hunters who actually keep the wildlife alive. A lot of people think that when you hunt you’re destroying the wildlife.”

He adds: “See that’s what happens if you get in my way.”

Over here the BBC reports that the Boxing Day hunt attracted over 250,000 participants. Hunting with dogs was banned in 2005. Under the ban, dogs can still be used to follow a scent – but cannot be used to kill the fox. People still hunt, but now with the added thrill that they might be breaking the law.

Since the ban came into force, no foxes have been saved. But new Labour found a cause it could win, and it won. It showed the world that it was radical – more radical than all Labour politicians that had passed before. Ban the bomb? A referendum on a united Europe? A paedophile amnesty? No, what we really wanted was to ban fox hunting.

Here was something that would play out well in the media. Save the cuddly fox. Kill the fat upper-class twit on his horse. Kill the horse, the collaborator.

The protestors besiege the House of Commons. It looks good on the telly. One PR stunt in head on collision with another. This is no uprising. The purpose is to be heard. It is the kind of narcissism that causes disgruntled dads to wear Spiderman pyjamas and under the banner Fathers 4 Justice (“when there is a banner) make public nuisances of themselves.

Ban foxhunting. Save fox hunting. Kill germs. Save the germs. Would The League Against Cruel Sports mind if we killed wasps? Wasps are not as cuddly as foxes. But, then, have you ever cuddled a fox, a creature that looks like a maiden aunt’s coat with sharp teeth and a shifty, narrow stare.

So Huckabee shoots a pheasant and looks tough. And Tony Blair saves the fox and looks tough. And the dumb animals nod…

Posted: 26th, December 2007 | In: Politicians | Comment

Ich Bin Ein Poodle: Tony Blair In America

yankie-poodle.jpgTHE White House’s Christmas video starring the President’s Scottish Terrier, Barney, features a guest star. File under Beyond Parody:

BARBARA BUSH: Hey Barney, did I hear that you and Miss Beazley are trying to become Junior Park Rangers?

JENNA BUSH: That’s great. We love the national parks. Remember, I got engaged in one.

(Barney and Miss Beazley picture themselves getting married in their finest clothes. And then they are off to play outside. Together, they run out of the South Portico to play in the snow on the South Lawn. Barney and Miss Beazley play with their favorite balls in the snow. Then the two come rushing back into the White House and check on more decorations going up. Running around the White House, Barney, Miss Beazley and Kitty chase ornaments and inspect the trimming. After seeing all the decorations go up, Barney and Miss Beazley dash up the red carpeted stairs to see Mrs. Bush. With Miss Beazley in Mrs. Bush’s lap and Barney on the sofa beside her, Mrs. Bush reads a book about Park Rangers to them.)

MRS. BUSH: Barney and Miss Beazley, look at all the exciting things that Park Rangers do. Park Rangers are scientists and historians — they do everything – from law enforcement, to fire management, to search and rescue. Our national parks are so important.

(Barney starts daydreaming about becoming a Junior Park Ranger with Miss Beazley.)

MARY BOMAR (Director, National Park Service): Barney and Beazley, you are great supporters of the National Parks Service and you have shown tremendous commitment to our national parks. Let’s raise your paw — kids you too.

I hereby name you both Junior Park Rangers.

(Applause erupts in the background. The daydream continues with country music star Alan Jackson and former British Prime Minister Tony Blair congratulating them.)

ALAN JACKSON (country singer): Junior Park Ranger? Okay Barney, now you’ve gone country.

FORMER PRIME MINISTER TONY BLAIR: Congratulations Barney and Miss Beazley on becoming Junior Park Rangers. Well done.

As someone born in Edinburgh, Scotland, it’s always good to see the Scots doing well.

(Barney looks at the camera, tilts his head and a “boing” sound effect is heard. Barney’s daydream ends and he’s sitting with Miss Beazley on Mrs. Bush’s lap in front of the Christmas tree in the Blue Room.)

MRS. BUSH: Barney and Beazley, I’m so proud that you all wanted to become National Park Junior Rangers. Our national parks are so important. And in fact, the lawn where you play is part of our national parks.

President Bush and I wish everyone a very happy holiday.


Catch Tony and Cherie Blair in 101 Dalmatians, at the Pavillion Thatre, Bournemouth

Posted: 26th, December 2007 | In: Politicians | Comment

Sahra Wagenknech’s Lobster Puts Her In Hot Water

cottb3.jpgSAHRA Wagenknecht, one of Germany’s top communist politicos is at table:

Writes the Guardian: “By the time she had realised her mistake – that as one of Germany’s top communists she should probably not be seen eating lobster – it was too late.

“There was no time to switch from the £16 “rich man’s dish” to a more modest platter of kippers, because Sahra Wagenknecht had already been caught on camera in the act of betraying her own political ideals.

And how did Comrade Wagenknecht react? She told an aide to get the camera and erase the images.

Says Wagenknecht: “I don’t do anything that I say others shouldn’t do. On the contrary, I’m fighting for a society in which everyone can afford to eat lobster.”

And why did she erase the pictures? Says she: “I didn’t like them.”

Lobster for me, lobster for you – forward with lobster!

Posted: 26th, December 2007 | In: Politicians, Strange But True | Comment (1)

Season’s Greetings From Burma


Posted: 26th, December 2007 | In: Politicians | Comments (3)

George Bush, George Clooney and Osama bin Laden’s Christmas Message

ANORAK’s Christmas message, as told by George Bush, George Clooney and Osama bin Laden:

As delivered to Current Super News.

Posted: 24th, December 2007 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)

Catholic Tony Blair’s Private Life, A Mass Of News

gordon-blair.pngTONY Blair has converted to Roman Catholicism. “Why now,” asks the BBC’s 10’clock news?

Firstly, says the reporter, “Anything in the prime minister’s life can cause huge attention, huge fuss and Tony Blair wanted to avoid that”

Tony Blair converts is the lead news item on the TV news; “Tony Blair joins Catholic Church” is the lead item on the BBC news website.

So why did he convert now..?

Posted: 22nd, December 2007 | In: Politicians, TV & Radio | Comments (29)

Gordon Brown’s X Factor For Rhydian

gordon-brown-rhydian.jpg“X FACTOR OFFICIAL INQUIRY – Now PM orders quiz into probe vote row*.”

Gordon Brown has sent a “personal letter” (Star) to the Welsh singer Rhydian. For purposes of identification, and national pride, Gordon Brown is as Scots as X Factor winner Leon Jackson and Rhydian is Welsh.

Dear [insert name here] “I see great talent being given a chance to develop itself,” says Gordon.

It is in no way thanks to Gordon Brown’s premiership that talent can evolve on its own.  Gordon might have created a culture in which Welsh reality TV singers can dream of success and make a real fist at achieving it. But this is Rhydian’s time.

Should Rhydian wish to thank Mr Brown for his letter then he is free and able to do it in this democratic land watched over by a benign Gordon Brown.
As Gordon Brown says… (continues until General Election)

*Or not.

Posted: 21st, December 2007 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment (1)