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Botox injections cure woman of smoking and oral sex

smoking botox

One lucky pucker

 

With Botox, you too can smoke less. Kelly Greenwood, of Vancouver, Washington, says:

“My upper lip is paralysed by the injections so I can’t close my lips around a cigarette, There’s no pucker. I’m down to about 10 a month. And that’s quite an accomplishment for me.”

It’s also believed Kelly has also cut down on eating bananas, giving full throat to both ‘Oklahoma‘ and her husband, and drink driving tests:

 

 

Posted: 16th, June 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Sharon Osbourne Hates Dad Animals Louis Vuitton Loves Dead Animals Botox

8436488PIXIE-voiced Sharon Osbourne – the Joselyn Wildenstein in the making – tells her Twitter followers not to buy Louis Vuitton’s handbag accessories because they’re “heinous.”

“Louis Vuitton foxtail handbag accessories make me sick. Please do not purchase those! It’s heinous.”

Foxtails on a moped aerial is cool. But on bag is so vulgar.

Peta’s Sexiest Ads (NSFW)

Peta, the voice of dumb animals says:

“As designers flaunted fur during Fashion Week in New York, and the usual suspects are expected to be as vulgar in Milan and Paris, we’re pleased Sharon is using her voice to denounce the cruelty.”

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Posted: 26th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Katie Price, Standing Out: Thongs, Wrongs And Dongs

standing-out-katie-priceOLD Mr Anorak’s Books Club reviews Standing Out, by Katie Price, author of 45 autobiographies, including, Tits Aht, Tits Not Quite Aht, Finkkin Ov Gettin’ Yer Tits Aht, Maw Tits Aht, Tits Volumes 1 – XI and study notes.

On Amazon, the associated “tags” for this book are:

Fake, orange, plastic, shallow, trash, ugly, waste of a good tree.

The premise of Katie’s book:

From my early teens I’ve been an exhibitionist and from the time I started senior school I was desperate to look different. I’ve always gone for clothes that make me stand out, rather than blend in with the rest of the crowd.

Unless the crowed is a set of inflatable Aunt Sallies, in which case revert to trouser suit.

The publisher chips in:

Here, Katie Price opens up her make-up bag and throws open the doors to her wardrobe. She talks about how her image has changed as her career in the spotlight has evolved and how what she wears affects her relationships with her family, her fans and the press.

Katie communicates via her power of her clothes.

Thong: More cheese?
Thigh boots: She fears rain
Pink cowboy hat and chaps: She’s worried about the quality of local schools

She reveals all her top tips on looking and feeling good to get the best out of life including what she wore on the night that Jordan was born…

Dunno. Might be a bit big.

Find out which style crime makes Katie say ‘there’s just no excuse for it’ and who makes Katie think did you actually look in the mirror before leaving the house?

While Katie straps herself into her fashion police get up – helmet-shaped helmet; vibrating truncheon and fluffy handcuff – she has much to tell us:

“If you want to wear high heels carry a pair of flip flops in your bag to wear later.”

Useful if your conquest has a swimming pool and you fear a verucca, but not vital.

“People are scared of Botox as they think their face is going to end up frozen and blank-looking but I don’t have a very expressive face anyway so I don’t worry about not being able to show emotion. It’s not like I’m an actor and need to have that ability.”

In any case, the surgeon can do emotion later – upturned lips for happy; downturned lips for sad; eyes rolled to top of head for “I’ve overdone the lift”.

“I remember one time I had a charity job in a poor part of India. I arrived to find my suitcase had split and everything had vanished, so I didn’t have anything to wear for the job, no make-up, toiletries – nothing. As there were no shops I had to spend the whole three days of our trip in what I had been wearing on the plane. That was pretty shit, I can tell you.”

Or an un-pretty one…

With additonal readings by Marina Hyde

Posted: 16th, October 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


In Pictures: Reka Urban Wins Miss Plastic Surgery Title

reka-urban-homeHURRAH for Reka Urban, aka Rika Urban, in the form of her life as she wins the inaugural Miss Plastic Hungary, beating off stiff and some would say immobile competition from Edina Kulcsar, Alexandra Horvath, a mute woman who tuned out to be a mannequin (later banned for nudity) and Squadron Leader Archibald Hartle, DSO, AC/DC retired.

Reka’s surgeon, Dr. Mária Czeglédi, also wins  a prize. And Jocleyn Wildenstein is rumoured to be delighted and ready.

The rules are simple: each contestant must be 18 years old – taking an average of the sum of her parts – have undergone at least one bout of plastic surgery. And, no, Botox and collagen injections do not count as surgery. You need to have endured a knife.

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Posted: 11th, October 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment (1)


Jade Goody’s Last Take Away

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with Kirsty Gallagher’s breasts, thighs and tum…

Daily Mirror: “Kirsty Gallacher: My boobs aren’t as pert and my bum isn’t as firm but I’m finally happy with my body”

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Posted: 4th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)