Posts Tagged ‘celebrity big brother’
Alex Reid Wins Celebrity Big Brother Final: Live Blog And Pictures
CELEBRITY Big Brother final: Live Blog. Like George Bush, Katie Price’s Jordans and France – you will miss Big Brother when it’s gone. Tonight is the final of the final Celebrity Big Brother show.
And the winner is… Alex Reid. Now to dump Katie Price live on the telly.
Vinnie is wearing sunglasses. But he’s alright. In his Arthur Daley hat.
Vinnie Out. Katie Price wins!!!!
Jonas is out. he looks better out of the house. He’d make good looking Nazi in a WW2 film. “I like farts,” says Jonas. Nazis loved farting.
Stephanie Beacham is out. She is holding the world’s largest microphone and talking with Davina – soon to be out herself.
Preamble:
Will Alex Reid win and add the title of CBB winner to the Mr Toffee Crisp crown he sports in his pants?
Will Vinnie Jones win and become even more insufferable, his nightclub bouncer done good persona inflating to the size of a mid-sized Texas county?
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Posted: 29th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Celebrity Big Brother: Katie Price Wins As Dane Bowers And Alex Reid Go Mamo-O-Mamo
CELEBRIY Big Brother: It’s Dane Bowers v Alex Reid in the final of final of finals. Incredibly, the Daily Star reached into its News Tombola ™ and managed to pull out a truthful headline:
KATIE PRICE WINS BIG BROTHER
Dane Bowers – Katie Price Foot muff – and Alex Reid – Mr Toffee Crisp – are in the final. It’s mammary-a-mammary. It’s Jordan v Jordan. It Me Me.
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Posted: 29th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Chicken Katie Price Declared Winner
CELBRITY Big Brother: It’s the final day and the good news is that Katie Price has “won”.
This fact is delivered to you by the Daily Star:
“JORDAN: I’VE WON BIG BRO”
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
Hats off to Katie Price for winning show she never appeared on. Unless that was her in the chicken suit, waiting to be dry roasted by Dane Bowers and Alex Reid?
Posted: 28th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Katia Ivanova And Lady Sov Go Lapdancing: Pictures
IT did not take too long for the Star to give up trying to sell orgy makeweight and rolling Stone gnome polisher Katia Ivanova as a stunna with a heart of gold. Heidi Fleiss, who was first out of the Celebrity Big Brother house, sums up Katia thus:
“Dumbass.”
But Katia Ivanova is still filling in holes in the news agenda. The Sun’s Phil Space writes:
BISEXUAL Lady Sov shared an affectionate clinch with Celeb BB pal Katia Ivanova on another wild night out. The pair went to a lap dancing club in London. Sov slipped notes in the dancer’s undies – then gave new pal Kat a goodbye kiss.
Says Fleiss of Lady Sov:
“Unbearable person. Wore too much purple. .. I can’t even look at the vampire fucking teeth… You can have that shit removed.”
Over to you, Ronnie…
Posted: 27th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Housemates Pen The Big Brother Song: We Pray For Stephen Baldwin’s Wrath
CELEBRITY Big Brother: Stephen Baldwin says that ‘‘demonic activity can occur and do these things”. It might also be the big Brother crew. It was they who allowed Baldwin to carry his Bible into the house.
He gets to read. He also get to ask 50,000 people to pray for him. Pray for him to do what – endure? Shut up? Pull out his tonsils with his pair hands, pretend they’re his testicles and invite Vinnie Jones to chew them off?
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Posted: 22nd, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Big Brother: Stephen Baldwin’s Thought For The Day
CELEBRITY Big Brother’s manic preacher Stephen Baldwin delivers this thought for the day:
Dane Bowers: “The water’s still cold”
Stephen Baldwin: “The hot water?”
Baldwin is entertaining because he is on the other side of the little glass screen in your lounge. And he’s annoying the night club bouncer done good Vinnie Jones. If Baldwin were in your lounge, you’d walk out the front door and never look back. No, you would look back – to make sure wasn’t following you…
Posted: 21st, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Vinnie Jones Has Sisqo By The Short And Curlies
CELEBRITY Big Brother: finally the Daily Star gets and leads with a picture of Vinnie Jones giving the finger to its readers, a tattooed Alan Sugar dismissing everyone.
But wait! This isn’t an early goodbye to the show that has given the Star is front-page headlines and news agenda for ten years. This is Vinnie Jones using his finger to illustrate a point. News is that “the gloves are off” and Vinnie is “trying to bully his way to Big Brother victory”.
What Vinnie Jones, a man famous for grabbing Paul Gascoigne’s genitalia, biting a reporter’s nose and being banned from flying on Virgin Atlantic for air rage is a bully? What evidence?
Fans claim the ex-football star is playing a clever game as master puppeteer, turning the stars against one another while he stays immune from eviction.
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Posted: 21st, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (11)
Celebrity Big Brother: Ivana Trump To Play Jade Goody In TV Biopic
CELEBRITY Big Brother: Lady Sovereign is embroiled in a “NEW BIG BROTHER BULLY ROW” and Jade Goody is back in the guise of Ivana Trump:
So says the Daily Star, which presses the Big Brother buttons with all the gusto of a sex-starved monkey on a hole in a hairy keyboard. Having brought us Katia Ivanova’s sex tape story, the papers now presses F8 and delivers the traditional Big Brother bully episode.
The paper says that Lady Sov is “struggling to cope, just like Shilpa Shetty”.
Admittedly, watching Big Brother can be hard yakka, but Shilpa can take comfort from no longer being on the show.
“It’s Jade and Shilpa hell all over again.”
That’s Jade Goody. And is her name is being evoked, then who gets to play her? The smart money is on Stephanie Beacham, who for all the snootiness is an ex-Playboy stripper last seen romancing Ken Baldwin on Coronation Street’s love barge. On second thoughts, she’s too downmarket. Ivana Trump’s more the thing.
Says Sov:
“I was bullied into making myself look absolutely horrible and that wasn’t the case. Everyone was bullying me except Sisqo and Stephen. I would say the main bullies were Dane and Stephanie, without a doubt.”
Dane Bowers? The Star has evidence:
Stephanie even described her as a “vile creature who has not been brought up well”… Dane raged: “I want to drop-kick her. She’d better be careful because I can tear her down and I’ll do it in front of people.”
As we can see on the straight-to-tissues internet video with Katie Price, Dane talks with his toes. If Bowers drop kicks Sov, let’s hope he’s wearing a contraceptive sock and has trimmed his nails.
Posted: 20th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Big Brother’s Katia Ivanova’s Suicide And Sex
WHEN the Daily Star told us that Katia Ivanova was booted first out of the Big Brother house because she was so popular, we arched an eyebrow.
When they told us that the alleged orgy makeweight, Basshunter hunter (orgy pics), sex taper and cocaine-snorting Rolling Stone gnome polisher would be a huge star, we looked like Amanda Holden in a wind tunnel.
It’s now Day 4 of the Star’s plan to make Katia Ivanova noticeable, chiefly by slapping her on its front page and screaming:
“BIG BRO KAT: I’VE HAD DEATH THREATS.”
It’s does seem odd that the Star, sister paper to the immigrant-unfriendly Express, should support Katia’s elevation to the status of Super Strumpet. Where are our home-grown Armanis, Portias and Danniiiiis to slap for the UK? Can we blame the recession for a death of slappers? Can we blame global warming?
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Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Billie Piper Performs Katia Ivanova’s Big Brother Sex Scene: Pictures
BILLIE Piper has been doing the rounds talking up her role as whore-with-a-pen-of-gold Belle De Jour, aka nice Jewish girl Brooke Magnanti (all pro diary slappers are nice Jewish girls – where were they when I was growing up? Pictures.) For her role in Secret Diary of Call Girl, Piper s tells the Observer’s Barbara Ellen:
“I’m not shy of a sex scene,” says Piper, “but these scenes aren’t just pretend penetration in your pants, they’re really exposing. There was one where I had to do it doggy style and make animal noises.
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Posted: 17th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Katia Ivanova’s Sex Tape
CELEBRITY Big Brother: Katia Ivanova’s sex tape is out there. The Star says Katia “leapt into bed with randy DJ” and fish fancier Basshunter “for the TV cameras”.
So we can look forward to a Ronnie Wood-eye view of a former cocktail waitress and alleged orgy makeweight shagging one of the top dozen leading Scandinavian electro-pop DJs.
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
The Star says Katia “bedded” the “Swedish star” to win more votes. It calls the move “desperate”. So desperate is it that the Star pushes the news on its not-in-the-least-bit-desperate front page.
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Posted: 15th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Celebrity Big Brother: Alex Reid’s Top Five Quotes
THE top five Alex Reid Quotes of Celebrity Big Brother 2010 (in no particular order of bollocks):
* “Fame is not something I crave” – Alex Reid
* “You know what I like about you? You’re not stupid” – Stephen Baldwin to Alex Reid
* “I find the bible fascinating” – Alex Reid
* “I’m on TV most nights. On smaller channel” – Alex Reid
* “In the summer in the press, the two big stories were Michael Jackson dying and Kate and Peter splitting and me” – Alex Reid
Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Alex Reid Beats Katie Price
CELEBRITY Big Brother: AFTER the sex and the non-sex and the SEX, the Daily Star brings news of a Celebrity Big Brother betting fix. There is always a betting fix on Big Brother.
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
This year’s fix is that Alex Reid, Mr Toffee Crisp, is no longer 70-1 to win the show but a mere 15-1. That’s right, Reid is 15-1 to win the show that features 12 contestants. The news is that Reid is becoming popular – perhaps as popular as Katie Price.
Jonas Altberg – DJ Basshunter Orgy (NSFW)
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Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Celebrity Big Brother: Ivanova’s Sex Games, Hannah Kamelmacher And Ronnie Wood Dream Dates Heather Mills
CELEBRITY Big Brother: Katia Ivanova is on a “SEX PLOT TO WIN”. The Daily Star leads with an “Exclusive” review of the telly show, telling readers that “two-timing” Katia Ivanova faces a “hate mob if she is axed because of her cruel sex antics”.
Pictures of Jonas Altberg’s orgy here
The story goes that Katia has “dumped” someone called Dan Turner so she can fondle Scandinavian fish fancier Basshunter “in a ploy to become more popular” and give us the tabloid couple Bass-Inova. It’s what the Star terms a “bizarre ‘one out, one in’ sex game”.
Only:
But last night fans saw her dump the hunky musician after she claimed he had got “too clingy”. He was close to tears and said: “I feel like a kid who got loads of sweets and then had them taken away.”
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Posted: 12th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Celebrity Big Brother: Alex Reid’s Ferrero Rocher Moments Without Katie Price
CELEBRITY Big Brother’s walking Toffee Crisp Mr Alex Reid has proved the doubters wrong: he can talk and he can walk. In Big Brother, his talking is much like his walking: trapped in a three-room maze of thought and pointless repetition. But Alex’s mum is talking. And she says:
“I tried to talk him out of it. But that’s what he wanted to be when he was just 14. It’s a shame. He used to be such a good-looking man. His nose and ears are dreadful now.”
No, not. Reid’s adolescent ambition was not to date Katie Price. She’s not responsible for his nose and ears – yet.
“And he’s too gentle to be a fighter, really. That’s one of his problems in the ring. He still gets upset when he knocks someone down.”
He dares to care. But how’s he going to do in big Brother, mummy?
“He won’t stay in until the end. We just hope he stays in long enough for people to see the real him. As long as he doesn’t say anything too stupid he should be okay. He can’t fight forever. He needs a career.”
The inference seems to be that Alex Reid’s carer will him being the “real him”. There will be imposters and impressionists but there can only be one Alex Reid. What role the real Alex Reid will perform for money is moot points, but we’d suggest that he’d make a terrific novelty hat stand and should the ambassador tire to Ferrero Rocher’s vomit balls, he could play the butler dishing out the Toffee Crisps to distinguished others.
Either that or edit the Daily Star…
Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Katia Ivanova’s Old Man Sex Orgy In Pictures
CELEBRITY Big Brother offers you the chance to vote out Heidi Fleiss, Katia Ivanova or Lady Sovereign.
Katia has been flirting with fish fancier Basshunter, aka Scandinavian DJ Jonas Altberg (pictures of his orgy here). If Katie goes then we might never get the headline Bass-Inova, and that would be a shame.
Ekaterina Ivanova And Ronnie Wood: A Romance In Pictures
And news of Katie in the Sun promises much. In “BB STAR’S ROMP WITH HOOKERS”, we read of four-in-a-bed romp with two hookers and an ageing tycoon.”
The ex-lover of Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood jumped into bed with two other girls who were both paid £500 each for the sex session. Former vice girl Ellie Hughes last night told how sexy Katia – who took no cash – joined in the foursome for fun months before she met wrinkly rocker Ronnie, 62. And the man the three beauties bedded was also a millionaire in his 60s.
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Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Ivana Trump In Pictures
IVANA Trump enters the Celebrity Big Brother house. Last seen in print. Ivana was, being escorted from an airplane for, allegedly, “saying f*** you to all the deputies and called the children ‘little f******’”
Ivana Trump in the house? If so what’s she being paid? Vinnie Jones gets £350,000. Lady Sovereign gets a voucher for a KFC bucket dinner. Alex Reid gets enough money to buy his lover Katie Price a new varnishing – “No, love, I’ll get it this time.”
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Katie Price Puts Vaseline On Her Lips, Big Brother Misses Out
KATIE Price, not on Celebrity Big Brother, delivers the shocking facts of the day in her new tome: Standing Out by Katie Price. For anyone keen to get Katie’s natural look, here’s how:
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
Miss Neon 2010
Looking after my skin is not my strong point but the two things that do make my skin look better are sunbeds and Botox.
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Posted: 8th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Hard Men Bowers, Vinnie Jones And Alex Reid Do It With Fists
ACCORDING to Katie Price’s boyfriend Alex Reid, Dane Bowers is “lucky he’s not dead”. Turns out it’s nothing to do with the sex tape in which Bowers finds a use for a Duvall toe, but an opinion formed after the pair were involved in a “furious punch-up”.
A source says that Reid says:
“I’m trying to play it down. My elbow has hit him three times in the head. I worked his knees too. I never get in fights, ever. I was like, ‘Come on, please, let’s go,’ and he was lairing it up. He took my kindness as a weakness.”
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Posted: 3rd, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
Vinnie Jones, Thierry Henry And Maradona Are Footballers With Hands
NEWS of Vinnie Jones going into the Big Brother house encouraged us look back over his career. The man whose contribution to football is so great that he is most famous for using his hands (just like Thierry Henry and Maradona) left football to embark on a carer on the stage. He has played Estragon in waiting for Godot with a gun, King Lear on the point of punching someone in the throat and A Streetcar Named Desire’s Stella putting your lights out – permanently. Here’s a gallery of Jones’ varied career:
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Celebrity Big Brother: Vinnie Jones to Mind Paul Gascoigne
THE New Year is nigh and that means the season of Celebrity Big Brother, serving as a reminder that the EU Celebrity Mountain has not claimed all our stars and that Vinnie Jones is at large.
Yes, Vinnnie Jones, the gonad grabber and former Wimbledon FC hardman who turned to playing dowagers and lead romantic roles in showbiz. The Sun says:
VINNIE Jones has been offered $1MILLION to team up with his old footie rival Paul Gascoigne in Celebrity Big Brother. The ex-Wimbledon hardman, now a movie star, was contacted by show producers with a lucrative offer to “keep an eye” on former England hero Gazza in a ratings-winning ploy for the BB house.
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Posted: 31st, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother House In Photos
THOSE all-important first photos of the Celebrity Big Brother house are yours to gaze upon. The show’s producer, Shirley Jones (look out for her on Reality TV Producers – a fly-on-the-wall show following Big Brother staff looking for work and a spot on 100 Greatest Big Brother Moments) says the place is inspired by Dante’s Inferno.
Like Celebrity Big Brother, Dante’s inferno is something everyone has heard of but very few people have bothered to look at. It’s fitting. Says Jones:
“The famous line from Dante’s Inferno is ‘Abandon hope all ye who enter here’ which has inspired much of what we have done to the house, particularly the entrance which is dark and cavernous with flaming walls.”
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Posted: 30th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: The Full List Of Housemates
CELEBRITY Big Brother looms like Beth Ditto over a bidet. The show is coming. But who is on it? The list thus far – their Big Brother reasons for watching in brackets:
Pamela Anderson (face of acceptable corporate porn)
Russell Grant (founder of the Middlesex Family Foundation and most likely to talk about ‘Uranus’ )
MC Hammer (poor Man’s MC Hammer – giving chance for someone to use the phrase “old skool”)
Alex Reid (Mr Toffee Crisp 2009)
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Posted: 28th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Celebrity Big Brother: Sex Den, Dead Woods And Not Kerry Katona
CELEBRITY Big Brother: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at CBB in the news: Ronnie Wood’s dead wood Ekaterina Ivanova, Kerry Katona denies and Boy George’s “sex den”…
Ekaterina Ivanova And Ronnie Wood: A Romance In Pictures
The Sun says that Ronnie Wood’s former painting partner Ekaterina Ivanova has been offered £100,000 to appear on Celebrity Big Brother.
The 21-year-old Russian is being lined up by Channel 4 chiefs hoping to inject controversy into next month’s last-ever show.
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Posted: 26th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Peter Andre Stars
NEWS is that Peter Andre will “star” in Celebrity Big Brother. It will take £500,000 to have Peter Andre locked in a sealed unit in Elstree for a couple of months. He will be filmed 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Plus ca chance, for Peter. It’s value for money.
Problem is that the Star’s front page is based on an idea rather than a fact:
CELEBRITY Big Brother bosses are so desperate to get Peter Andre on the final series they have told him to “name his price”.
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Posted: 20th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
