Anorak

John Mayer | Anorak

Posts Tagged ‘John Mayer’

John Mayer hits out at Taylor Swift over world’s lamest beef track

HIP HOP is well known for well-publicised beefs, but now we’ve got one between two of the lamest, wettest humans in the known universe. You see, Taylor Swift wrote a thinly-veiled dig at former beau and all-round douche, John Mayer… and he’s not happy about it.

Of course, Mayer is known for his controversial views on exes and women. You may recall his referring to Jessica Simpson as “sexual napalm”, which is nice. Well, now he’s all seriously upset by something one of his other flings has said about him.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 6th, June 2012 | In: Music | Comment


National Enquirer After Brangelina: Jessica Aniston And Jessica Simpson At ‘War’

ne-jenWEEK Two of the post Angelina Jolie and Brad Pit National Enquirer front page and things are looking promising for Jennifer Aniston, who remains in situ.

Angelina Jolie (NSFW)

With Brangelina suing the NoTW, and so putting the US tabloid on a stage of high alert, Jennifer Aniston is on her own.

Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Touch Up Super Bowl: In 70 Pictures

Well, she’s not alone for long because the NE has a new love triangle war brewing, and the three-points of the news compass are Aniston, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer. This is:

“Jen & Jessica – REVENGE ON LOVE RAT JOHN MAYER!”

Inside and:

“JEN & JESSICA DECLARE WAR ON JOHN!”

Mayer is said to have upset the women by called Simpson “sexual napalm” and “crack cocaine” (is that good or bad?) and portrayed Aniston as “boring”. Says Mayer of fun Jen:

“I want to dance… I want to get on an airplane and be a ninja… I don’t want to pet dogs in the kitchen.”

A euphemism?

And… Oh, it’s just no good. Without those weekly tales of Brad’s secret love (sources say) to betrayed Aniston, Angelina Jolie’s rage (say pals) and Aniston’s loveliness (says insider), the Enquirer is trying but failing to come up with a story.

READ: Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie: Sex Toys, Jennifer Aniston ‘Romps’ In Pictures

Angelina Jolie And Brad Pitt – A Romance In Pictures

It’s needs a new angle? Who can be the new Ange-Brad-Jen? But why not do as OK! has done and in between news and non-news hire look-alikes to play the main protagonists and get up to all sorts of crazy mischief?

Look out for: “Jen puts Brad’s head in oven as Ange waters poison begonia” – say pals.

Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Touch Up Super Bowl: In 70 Pictures

Posted: 23rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (9)


John Mayer In Concert In London, In Pictures

ANORAK spotted John Mayer in concert at the Hammersmith Apollo, London. Before this, John had been doing his part for the Haiti relief effort, with customary celebrity grandstanding:

He tweeted, “Just recorded my song for CNN’s “Haiti: How You Can Help” special, tonight at 8pm EST. Made with lots of love and hope.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 19th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Angelina Jolie Introduces Jennifer Aniston And Her New Lover Scott Stuber

aniston-fanJENNIFER Aniston’s new lover is a man “she secretly fell for while married to Brad”; he’s “Mr Right”; she’ll “have his baby”; he’s called…Scott Stuber.

The Enquirer says this is the tenth man Aniston has romanced since Brad Pitt left her in 2005. All the other runners and riders are named: Vince Vaughn (tall actor), Geoff Stults (lantern-jawed actor), Paul Sculfor (mo-del), Jason Lewis (actor), Brian Bouma (film crew), Aaron Eckhart (actor), John Mayer (crooner), Bradley Cooper (Sean Penn look-alike marrying Rennee Zellweger) and Gerard Butler (“I am not dating Jennifer Aniston”).

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 29th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


DJ AM’s Funeral In Words And Pictures

dj-am2IN death so in life, the funeral service for DJ AM, aka Adam Goldstein, at the Hollywood Palladium featured a VIP entrance for the VIPs. In all, there were three entrances, one for family and VIPs and one for friends and one for fans.

Friends of the dead are not VIPs at the dead man’s funeral. Is your name on the list?

When someone young dies, there should always be a big crowd – for the young death still holds a macabre novelty, and the sheer number of survivors commands it.

And so they came to mourn: Nicole Richie, the ubiquitous Lindsay Lohan, sex tape-ologists Rebecca Gayhard, Eric Dane, Samantha Ronson, Robert Downey Jr., John Favreau, Nicky Hilton and John Mayer.

Not the dead John Mayer – the other one.

Says one onlooker:

“The crowd was very hip and eclectic, there were people dressed in smart black suits and people dressed in jeans and T-shirts. It was packed though, you could tell how well loved he was. It was a very sombre and sad crowd.”

Tautology is not dead. And while the sad and sombre mourners mourn, DJ AM’s girlfriend Haley Wood addresses the 3,500 faces.

“He was my soulmate and now he is my soul. He is my amazing grace.”

Pictures to follow…

Spotter: INO

Posted: 4th, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


John Mayer Has Died, Jennifer Aniston Offers No Comment

john-mayerJOHN Mayer RIP. It’s the Summer of Death and musician John Mayer has died. John Mayer was involved in a road accident.

Anorak recalls that his album Indo-Jazz Suite was a hit. He won a scholarship to the Royal Academy of Music. Now he has died.

No. no. Noooooo. Not that John Mayer, former squeeze to Jennifer Aniston and signer of such hits as “I Touched Jennifer Aniston’s Hair”, “Jennifer Aniston & Me” and “Jennifer Aniston Revisited”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 3rd, September 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)


John Mayer’s 1991 Mugshot For Driving Without A License

john-mayer-mugJOHN Mayer’s mugshot is proof that celebs realises that with Twitter they have no need for an agent nor publicist. Mayer uses the social network to tweet a challenge to TMZ’s Managing Editor Harvey Levin.

Anorak’s Man in the Hollywood Swamp spots Mayer’s tweets that he was once arrested on the same charge as Fallout Boy front man Patrick Stump (see his mugshot for more proof of nominative determinism) – driving without a valid California drivers license.

Mayor challenged Levin to track down his mugshot from the offense. If Levin is successful, Mayor will donate $25,000 to the charity of his choice.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 27th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Michael Jackson Stole Elizabeth Taylor’s Funeral

liz-taylorMICHAEL Jackson Watch: When Princess Diana died, the Queen Mother was reported to have opined: “She’s got my funeral.”

What price that Jackson would shuffle off before Elizabeth Taylor, a woman who is now saying she won’t attend. The is too mich “whoopla”.

And as any Hollywood legend knows, you can have too much Woopla.

Cue the pall beareres:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 7th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)


John Mayer Dumps Jennifer Aniston To Write The Great American Tweet

JENNIFER Aniston, the luckiest actress in Hollywood, is said to have split from lover John Mayer because he was spending too much time on Twitter and not enough time with her.

A Twitter post is at most 140 characters. Either Mayer is not all that fast a reader, or else he was working on the perfect Tweet, what we may call The Great American Tweet.

A source tells Star magazine about Aniston, the world’s first Twitter Widow.

“John suddenly stopped calling her or returning her emails and when she would finally catch up with him, he’d say: ‘I’ve been so busy with work. I’m sorry I haven’t had time to call you back’.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 24th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Jennifer Aniston Races Angelina Jolie To The Baby Stack

JENNIFER Aniston is Princess Diana to the Enquirer’s Daily Express. Every issue comes with a Jen ishoo.

Jen’s issue du joy is that Angelina Jolie is a “LIAR”.

Ange is Jen’s “love rival”, albeit a rivalry like that which exists between Arsenal (Angelina ) and Spurs (Jen) where one party gets all the beauty, spoils and glory the other gets to live in the halcyon days of past glories and shop of new faces.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 28th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)