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Daily Mail sexism: Kate Moss’ knees are ‘cursed by Voldemort’, Madonna and Demi Moore wear Satan’s skin

BREAKING NEWS in the Daily Mail: Harry Wallop notes:

BREAKING. Kate Moss’s knees have been ‘cursed by Voldemort’. Daily Mail has the scoop.


BREAKING. Kate Moss's knees have been 'cursed by Voldemort'. Daily Mail has the scoop.


Previously, the Mail has highlighted the aging process on…

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Posted: 3rd, December 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment

If Kate Moss’s Breasts Are A Champagne Coupe Who Is The Flute Based On?

Kate's cups


KATE MOSS’S has had a champagne glass modelled on her left breast. Quaffers at Mayfair’s 34 can purse their lips to the rim of one of British artist Jane McAdam Freud’s cups.

This honour was once extended to another sparkling white woman, the fabled Marie Antoinette.

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Posted: 22nd, August 2014 | In: Celebrities, Fashion, The Consumer | Comment

Kate Moss collapses – four injured (photos)

KATE Moss has collapsed. Not really. Kate would never collapse. She looks more of a folder. And is she collapsed on anyone, would they complain?  What’s collapsed is a billboard of her face and body in a MANGO outfit. It collapsed on Oxford Street, London, partially squashing four passers by.

The victims are all ok.

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Posted: 7th, March 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Kate Moss Marries Jamie Hince In Southrop: Photos

KATE Moss is not helping the police with their enquiries into the death of Christopher Shale and Pete Doherty is locked up – which means she is free to marry Jamie Hince at St Peter’s Church, Southrop. Such is the level of occasion that anyone wishing to enter the collages of Little Faringdon, Oxfordshire and Southrop, Gloucestershire, will need to present credentials to police.

Says Gloucestershire Constabulary:

“The bride and groom have agreed to pay towards additional policing in order to reduce the impact on the taxpayer.”

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Posted: 1st, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Kate Moss Highlights Dangers Of Inhaling Jan Moir

PRO smoking campaigners were last night hailing the decision to print the Daily Mail on smoking paper thus enabling readers to burn and inhale Jan Moir. Says one smoker:

“What’s one more poison?”

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Posted: 11th, March 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment

In Photos: Richard Branson’s Dita Von Teese Tongue And Other Women

SIR Richard Branson did not launch Virgin to meet girls. It’s just perk of the job. We spotted Branson celebrating the 10th Anniversary of Virgin Atlantic flights to Las Vegas from London Gatwick by hoisting Dita Von Teese over his shoulder at McCarran International Airport, Las Vegas. He seemed to enjoy it. Just as he’s enjoyed meeting and greeting: Natalie Imbruglia, Kate Moss, Kristen Davies, Katie Price, Maddy Ford, Nell McAndrew and Emma Bunton. Feel the love. Feel it…

Al Fayed is over here.


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Sir Richard Branson and Dita Von Teese pose for photographers at McCarran International Airport, Las Vegas, USA to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Virgin Atlantic flights to Las Vegas from London Gatwick.

Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comments (4)

Kate Moss, Girl Aloud And Not Cheryl Cole Do Fashion For Relief: In Pictures

PICTURES from the Fashion for Relief catwalk show at London’s Somerset House, with Alexandra Burke, Ronnie Corbett, Nicola Roberts, Kate Moss, Pixie Geldof, Kate Moss, Annabelle Neilson, Naomi Campbell, Jo Wood, James Corden, Geri Halliwell, David Walliams, Kimberley Walsh, Dame Shirley Bassey, Denise Van Outen, Piers Morgan but no Cheryl Cole. Haiti is grateful…


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Kate Moss on the runway during the Fashion for Relief catwalk show at Somerset House, central London.

Posted: 19th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Pete Doherty, Robin Whitehead And Kate Moss’s Collection: Pictures

8277514DID you want pictures of Kate Moss attending the ‘Kate Moss for Longchamp’ Collection Launch Coktail Party at Ritz Club in Paris, in the company of Catherine Fontaine and The Plasticines?

Or did you want more pictures of her former flame Peter Doherty, the pop fu*kwit’s Court Room Tour 2010 and the news that Robin Whitehead, a member of the Goldsmith family who had made a documentary about the singer Pete Doherty called Road to Albion, has been found dead in flat rented by one of Doherty’s associates called Peter Wolf, 41, nicknamed Wolfman?

A young woman dies – she was just 27 – and the media shapes her death in celebrity terms:=. The Star delivers:


So it’s Doherty’s flat? This gives the Star a reason to tell its readers:

It is the second death with links to Doherty, 30. Three years ago actor Mark Blanco, who was 30, fell from a first-floor balcony after the star’s minders asked him to leave a party.

So Doherty, who wasn’t there, is suspected of what, exactly? Says the Mail:

Shamed musician Pete Doherty to be questioned about Goldsmith heiress’s ‘drug death’

Is he? Because after the headline there is no news that Doherty is to be questioned. But it was his flat, right. The Star tols us that fact. Says the Telegraph:

Doherty currently lives in Wiltshire and a spokesman denied that he had links to the Hackney property.

Sometimes you need the fluff…

no images were found

Posted: 28th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Madeleine McCann: Amaral ‘Fala Com McCanns’ And Ten More Years

amaral5MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann: Ten more years, gawping at Kate McCann, Amaral the panto baddie (boo- hiss – f*** off) and libel…

FIRST the good news for the voracious media in the never-ending story of Our Maddie, as the Daily Star says:


After ten more years of Our Maddie, the Star will have to return to Katie Price updates. But ten years is not too shabby. If the Daily Express can do it with Princess Diana for a decade, the Star’s sister paper can darn well do it for Our Maddie. It’s the least it can do.

Former detective Goncalo Amaral has vowed to take the fight to get his controversial book published to the European Court of Human Rights if he loses his current case.

But legal experts say that process could take a decade. Mr Amaral’s book claims Madeleine died in her family’s holiday flat in Praia da Luz, Portugal.

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Posted: 15th, January 2010 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comment

The SingStar Take That Extravaganza In Pictures

ANORAK was at the Singstar Take That Extravaganza at The Tabernacle, London. The event is billed as a “who’s who of great names in London’s music and fashion world, SingStar VIPS and club cognoscenti”.

As it turned out, other than Take That, who were contractually obliged to plug their eponymous karaoke video game, the VIPs were Kate Moss, Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean, Pixie Geldof, Paloma Faith, Rachel Stevens and.. Well, there lots of other people who work for Singstar and people who go to clubs and like singing along to backing tracks. Here are the pictures:


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Paloma Faith at the Singstar Take That Extravaganza held at The Tabernacle, London.

Posted: 26th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Stella McCartney Hires The Mighty Boosh To Switch On Her Lights, In Photos

WHEN we saw the invite to see Stella McCartney turn on the Christmas lights, we thought Paul McCartney’s daughter was turning on the Oxford Street lights, the ones that make it better to see shoplifters. But no, Stella was turning on the lights in her shop, something one imagines she or an underling does every day.

Helping her to turn on the lights were Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt of The Mighty Boosh, who flipped the switch to the thrill of such passers by as Lulu, Kate Moss, Pam Hogg, Twiggy, Jamie and Louise Redknapp and Paul McCartney. Katie Price is available for when the lights need turning off. The pictures:


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Stella McCartney and her husband Alasdhair Willis are seen outside her shop as Stella turns on her Christmas lights at her West London boutique.

Posted: 24th, November 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Fat Kate Moss Is New Face Of Starbucks, With Added Cellulite

4779250KATE Moss says “nothing tastes as good as skinny” and the Sun screams from its front page:

“Kate Moss brain is size zero”


The model might have sparked a new slogan for Starbucks lo-cal coffees and shakes. But the outrage is about the thinness. And the people outraged most are those who represent vested interest groups, like Katie Green, face and chest of Say No To Size Zero, a former anorexic and the founder of the National Centre for Eating Disorders.

The allegation is that Kate Moss encourages anorexia. In other Sun news:

HERE is KATE MOSS slumming it with mere mortals at McDonald’s. The supermodel popped in to the fast-food chain in Central London to pick up a spot of lunch to go.


KATE Moss is pencil thin – but her clothing collection appeals to Brittons of every shape and size.

But it’s the Mail that really takes the hypo-critic oath, telling its readers:

The saying is a watchword for millions of anorexics and bulimia sufferers.

The Mail quotes a study:

The study by the Exeter-based Schools Health Education Unit found that a majority of teenage girls – and 40 per cent of ten and 11-year-olds – believed they needed to slim but few were actually overweight.

It’s just so wrong that young girls are so worried about their looks and fat. In previous Daily Mail fat and ugly Kate Moss news:

TUMMY – ‘Like most women who have had a baby, Kate has a bit of loose skin in the lower tummy area,’ says diet and fitness specialist Joanna Hall.

‘There is very little fat beneath it, but also not much muscle definition. Some exercise would help…

And that rounded tum-tum?

She insists she isn’t pregnant, and the cigarette in her right hand would appear to confirm that fact. But the way she was rubbing what appeared to be a bump beneath her baggy top did nothing to dispel rumours that Kate Moss is, indeed, expecting her second child.

No, not pregnant. Just a bit of fat or gas. The last word can be with stick thin former anorexic Liz Jones, in the Mail:

We fashion editors loved her in her 20s for the fact she would brazenly model a bikini on the catwalk or in bright sunshine, despite the fact she was no longer 16, had never been six foot, had a long trunk and short legs and the dimplings of cellulite.

Sticks and stones will break her bones  – unless Kate Moss is fate enough to absorb them…

Posted: 19th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Tabloid Awards: Kate Moss Wins Euro Millions Jackpot

kate-moss2THE Tabloid Award for the most tangential use of a celebrity to illustrate a story goes to the Sun, where Chris Evans and Kate Moss feature in the story of two Britons who won shares of the £91m Euro Millions jackpot. The headline and story:


TWO Brits yesterday came forward to claim Friday’s £91million EuroMillions jackpot – making them richer than Chris Evans or Kate Moss. They each net £45.5million, smashing the UK Lotto payout record.

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Posted: 9th, November 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment

Using Katie Price And Sick Children To Advertise The Bounty Mum Of The Year

4482240BOUNTY, purveyors of the baby hamper given to news mums as an inducement to them buying branded products, have shortlisted Katie Price for their Celebrity Mum Of The Year award.

There is also a Real Mum of the Year 2009, which serves to imply there is something unreal, or fake, about Katie Price and her celebrity mummies.

2007 title holder Katie is going mum-a-mum against these others, who are in no partial order:

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Posted: 21st, October 2009 | In: The Consumer | Comments (10)

Rankin Live: Michael Jackson In Pictures

IN RANKIN Live: Michael Jackson, Kate Moss, Tony Blair and Peter Doherty in pictures…


Posted: 30th, July 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Katie Price and Peter Andre Divorce Exclusive: Kate Moss Shelves Book

katie-price-sienna-miller-kate-mossSADIE Frost and Kate Moss and Katie Price and Jordan have something in common. Now read on…

Sadie Frost has installed double glazing and stuck tampons in her ears, but even she can no longer resist the public clamour for an act-’n’-tell book about her time with Jude Law. Or, as the Mirror puts it:

Sadie Frost has finally given in to pressure to write the tell-all biography we’ve all been dying to read – and promises it’ll be juicy.

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Posted: 17th, May 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment

Susan Boyle’s New Hair And Face Makeover: Pictures

susan-boyle-hatSUSAN Boyle’s new look is a composite blend of auburn hair, six-inch heels, eyebrows arched like a lap-dancers buttocks, a bikini body and a wry smile.

Boyle is the Sun’s “brunette with talent”. She is the Mirror’s “haircut angel”.

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Posted: 24th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (14)

Kate Moss To Judge On The X Factor

WE join Kate Moss’s guttering old flame Pete Doherty in the recording studio where his arm has exploded.

So, as the story goes, Doherty is whisked off to hospital to have his corduroy arm put back together.

Budding wannabes on TV talent shows need to take note on how you can be a no-hit wonder and still be a pop star.

Vital stuff, as news reaches us, via the Croydon Guardian, that Kate Moss is been lined up as a new judge on the X Factor.

The paper says that Simon Cowell is keen to hire the model to drive ratings higher. But what musical experience does her Kateness have?

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Posted: 19th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Is Pete Doherty Dead?

TO GRAZIA magazine where Kate Moss is posing for a picture. A ghostly hand rests on her shoulder.

It’s the hand of a man. The condition of the nails suggest its Peter Doherty’s hand.

Has Doherty gone to that big syringe in the sky?

Or is Grazia


Posted: 23rd, November 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Inside Kate Moss’s Fridge

TIME again to look inside Kate Moss’s fridge.

As we cry: “What’s in your fridge, Kate?”

Today the Mirror’s 3am Girls open the freidge door and tell us that Kate is mostly drinking water and (bottled) and soft drinks.

More tomorrow…

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Posted: 14th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Pete Doherty’s YouTube Tribute To Kate Moss

PASS the Wet Ones…

Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Paul Newman Is Dead But There Are Icons Aplenty

PAUL Newman is dead. And the Daily Express’s Robert Gore-Langton asks: “WHERE HAVE ALL THE ICONS GONE?”

A trawl through the paper’s website reveals that they have gone into the huge file maked “Icon”:

Tonight sees the 90th birthday celebrations of one of the world’s most iconic and influential figures – Nelson Mandela.

SHE is the undisputed fashion icon of her generation – Kate Moss

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Posted: 29th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (6)

Kate Moss Is To Blame For Everything

WANT to know who to blame for the credit cruch, child murder, rape and your sad, flabby life? Fergus Shanahan knows. There might be British day party. Let’s blame Kate Moss:

“Cokehead model Kate Moss is suggested by Labour as a celebrity with the right values to lead the partying. Of course she is. Why not ask the Yorkshire Ripper along as well? With Rose West to do the teas.”

Picture: Beau Bo D’Or Website

Kate Moss. She bad…

Posted: 16th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4)

Kate Moss Snorts Cars And Brings Down World Financial Markets

KATE Moss snorts petrol fumes, says the Star. Says Kate Moss:

“I’ve heard it’s one of the most preferred scents in the world – maybe that’s something to study for my next fragrance.”

Moss, as chance has it, has launched her new fragrance, a celebrity vehicle with top notes of Cortina backseat and extracts of mini cab. It’s called Velvet Hour.

And Cocaine Moss’s car news does not end there. No way.

The Mirror says Kate Moss car has been broken into and she fears a £200k ring has been stolen from it. For shame!

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Posted: 16th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (5)