Posts Tagged ‘Nominative Determinism’
Woman Shoots Daughter With Cigarette Lighter
TO – oh, nominative determinism – Banning, where Rachel Avila has shot her 12-year-old daughter with a pistol she mistook for a cigarette lighter, police said.
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Posted: 29th, July 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)
Burglar Steals Shower And Body Scrub In Town Of Surprise
JIMMY Phillips broke into a family house in Arizona and took a shower. Ryan McCoy, 13,tells police that Phillips used used his sister’s shampoo body scrubber. Neighbours said Phillips emerged wearing their clothes. In mitigation, Anorak offers an explanation – the town where Phillips was stealing a shower and wearing someone else’s clothes is called…Surprise.
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Posted: 27th, June 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)
Guy Fowlkes Arrested For Letting Off Fireworks
GUY Fowlkes, 33, of Orlando, Florida, has been arrested for setting off explosive devices at the fireworks stand where he worked.
The story goes that while manning the fireworks stall, Guy Fowlkes got into a row with his pregnant lover and hit her. He then let off a load of fireworks and stuffed two firecrackers into the petrol tank of a car.
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Posted: 22nd, June 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Mr Stoner Arrested For Growing Marijuana: More Nominative Determinism
GLENN H. Stoner is our nominative determinism hero of the day. Mr Stoner, 56, was arrested in Clearwater, Florida, for the cultivation of marijuana and operating a drug house.
Stoner’s defence was that he smokes all the weed he grows himself.
Posted: 21st, May 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Police Fight Between Rabbits And Otter Gets Interesting In Devon And Cornwall
MR Nigel Rabbits, chairman of the Devon and Cornwall Police Federation, has written a letter in which he attacks the “dogmatic management” style of Devon and Cornwall police Chief Constable…Steven Otter.
Rabbits V Otter. Who wins?
Posted: 7th, April 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Nominative Determinism: Body Jam With K. Porn King
NOMINATIVE Determinism Of The Day – a “Body Jam” class with K’Porn, King, Nagao…
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Posted: 8th, March 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Helmut Hertz Has Words Of Caution For Harry Baals
HARRY Baals is huge in Fort Wayne, Indiana. The new game in town is to say Harry Baals as often as possible. When Harry Baals was mayor it was easy to say Harry Baals. But now you need to build a Government centre to get Harry Baals back into your daily chat.
The city already has Harry Baals Drive. And the people want a Harry Baals centre. Democracy counts. Although the perky newsreader says that just because Baals gets the most votes it means nothing. This is why Saddam Hussein got into power. It was either him or the German-born academic Helmut Hertz. Democracy died a little that day…
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Posted: 11th, February 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment
Christian Cull Talks About The Troubles In Egypt On BBC News: More Nominative Determinism
AND the name of the UK travel expert talking to BBC News 24 about the troubles in Egypt – where the Muslim Brotherhoods are looking to gain power; and the Coptics are being slaughtered – is…Christian Cull.
Egypt’s Troubles Delight Algerian Football Fans
Egypt Erupts: Ayatollah Khomeini’s Sermons Are Now On Twitter
More nominative determinism:
Posted: 30th, January 2011 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment
Nominative Determinism: Randy Kuntz Catering
ANORAK’S occasional look at cases of nominative determinism in the world today. Today we encounter Randy Kuntz catering in Regina, Saskatchewan…
And he’s big in taxidermy:
Posted: 28th, January 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Dundee And Scotland’s David Goodwillie Charged With Rape (Nominative Determinism Goes Bad?)
THE Scotland and Dundee Utd fotballer charged with rape is called… David Goodwillie.
How does the man plead? Not guilty? Guilty? Nominative determined? Guilt by association…?
New Year Honours List: Dr Fish For Services To Fish
THE New Year’s Honours list highlight is Dr John Fish, who is now Dr John Fish MBE, decorated for services to the fishing industry and work at the Institute of Biological, Environmental and Rural Sciences.
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John Boehner’s An ‘Asshat’: Johnny Cash Daughter’s Fails On Republican’s Name
JOHN Boehner is the Republic house minority leader going into the Obama mid-terms and no product of nominative determinism. Americans have moved on the certainty of Obama’s Yes We Can to vote on Maybe We Might. But never mind the politics and hype – get a load of that Boehner.
Says Boehner:
Remember when Ronald Reagan was president? We had Bob Hope. We had Johnny Cash. Think about where we are today. We have got President Obama. But we have no hope and we have no cash.
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Posted: 2nd, November 2010 | In: Politicians | Comment
Mark Fiasco You Legend: Marijuana Smoker Thanks Police For Finding Lost Bong
TO Bradenton, Florida, where Mark FIASCO is thanking police who pulled him over for finding his lost bong.
Mark Fiasco is out Nominative Determinism Hero of the Year.
The report by the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office says officers pulled over the vehicle Mark Fiasco and Matthew Hawley were travelling in.
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Mrs Wang And Mr DeCock Marry: Nominative Determinism Just Got Porny
BIRTHS Marriages and Deaths: Congratulationa to Tara Wang and Austin DeCock, of Detroit Lakes, Minn., who are engaged.
Parents Delano and Arlene Wang, and Francis and Erlene DeCock are cock-a-hoop.
They will marry on Oct. 16 and become – yes, you’re ahead of me – Mr and Mrs Wang Decock…
Posted: 25th, September 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment (1)
Mr. W. Anker Ran Over Girlfriend’s Lover In Blackburn
TO Preston Crown Court, Lancashire, where Blackburn man Mr Bill Anker, nee William Anker – yep, Mr W. Anker – is found guilty of running over a man he suspected of shagging his former girlfriend
(Nominative determinism can be a bitch but you might suppose Mr W. Anker has little needs to woo another?)
Police gave Mr Anker a tug when the tyres on his car matched the marks on his victim’s trouser leg.
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Posted: 30th, August 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Peter Andre’s Gay Dyke Mystery Woman
POP acorn Peter Andre is the subject of the Daily Star’s story:
PETER ANDRE’S GAY TV BLUNDER: HE FANCIES FELLA!
This story is brought to you by Peter Dyke.
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Posted: 18th, August 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Roger Boyes And The Priest Paedo Is Our Nominative Determinism Of The Day
NOMINATIVE Determinism of the Day takes us back to when the Catholic Church was purging itself of paedophiles and ROGER BOYES was telling Times readers:
“Vienna Boys’ Choir caught up in sex abuse scandals”…
We are told that the German equivalent for Roger Boyes is Helmet Hertz…
Posted: 11th, August 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Woman’s Name Includes Words From Every Letter Of Alphabet: B Is For Bananas
CEEJAY Epton, 22, from Doncaster, has changed her name “for a bit of a laugh” to include a word for each letter in the alphabet. She is known as:
A Apple B Boat C Cat D Dog E Elephant F Flower G Goat H House I Igloo J Jellyfish K Kite L Lion M Monkey N Nurse O Octopus P Penguin Q Queen R Robot S Sun T Tree U Umbrella V Violin W Whale X X-Ray Y Yo-Yo Z Zebra Terryn Feuji-Sharemi .
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Posted: 3rd, August 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comment
Peter Cox’s Tasered Meat And More Raoul Moat Nonsense
RAOUL Moat – that benchmark of tabloid mayhem – gets a mention in the story of Peter Cox (nominative determinism, readers) who was hit by police Taser that “missed his genitals by three inches”.
Or as the Mail put it first time around, “missed his meat and two”.
Grilled or roasted, sir?
Please Duchess Fergie, Suck Out My Fat (Again)!
I NEVER tire of news of Fergie, the Duchess of York. Now I learn that Her Grace has a new champion – the wonderfully named American novelist Laura van Wormer who proved her literary talent by writing the biography of the Ewing clan from the 80s’ TV series Dallas.
How apt that a connoisseur of Southfork should now rush to the aid of the one-time chatelaine of South York.
Sarah Ferguson – Life And Fashion Crimes
Laura has set up a Facebook page called catchily, Bring Back The Duchess of York To Weight Watchers. For an explanation I go to Laura’s website where I read this:
“Well, I don’t know about you, but my food has been a mess ever since she was replaced at Weight Watchers. I don’t know what it is about her that galvanizes hundreds of thousands of Americans to do something about their weight and overall health but I strongly suspect it has to do with Sarah giving us permission to make ourselves vulnerable to one another.”
Which reminds me, I must seek Fergiana’s permission next time I need a helping hand to insert a suppository.
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Posted: 8th, July 2010 | In: Key Posts | Comments (3)
Gay Beaten By Dix: Nominative Determinism Race Blow
GAY has been beaten by Dix at an athletic meet in the Oregon. Nominative determinism can be tough. You can run… But:
Olympic bronze medalist Walter Dix edged out Tyson Gay in the former world champion’s hotly-anticipated return to the 200 meters at the Prefontaine Classic Diamond League meeting on Saturday.
“It wasn’t bad, but I was a little fatigued toward the end,” Gay said. “I tried to stay relaxed and bring it home, but it wasn’t enough.”
The Best Nominative Determinism Pictures Ever, Presented By Mr Phani Tikkala
NOMINATIVE Determinism is the process by which you are what you are named. From the Alumni Class of 1993 at the Electra Independent School District, Electra, Texas – Ginger Minge is in residence – to Dr Atchoo’s surgery and Proper Wang’s office we bring you a gallery of the best nominative determined people ever, presented by Mr Phani Tikkala:
Posted: 30th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment
In Pictures: Tyson Fury Beats John McDermott
TYSON Fury has a name for boxing. It’s nominative determinism with fists and snarl. Ok, his full name is Luke Tyson Fury, and Luke Fury makes him sound more like a 1958 comic book character than a 6ft 9in former bare-knuckle fighter who can smash your face in. Tyson Fury is the current English heavyweight champion. And we went to see him beat John McDermott at the English Heavyweight Title bout at Brentwood Leisure Centre, London. Nine months ago, Fury beat McDermott on points. Promoter Frank Maloney said it was “the most controversial decision since Henry Cooper was outpointed by Joe Bugner in 1971”. But then Frank Maloney also said this:
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02 Sends Letter To Woman Called ‘Mr Pedo File’: Nominative Determinism Wins
THE letter from 02, the mobile phone company, is addressed to Bolton resident ‘Mr Pedo File’. No, not nominative determinism, mums and dads. and not Mr Paedo File, a domestic predator.
The story is not that generous. Jack Meoff, the ingenious Hakim Quick, Ms Porn and Mr Phani Tikkala are ok.
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Posted: 21st, June 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment
The World’s Worst Product Names, Presented By Only Puke Chips
WE now continue your look at nominative determinism in consumer goods with some more Sexy Foods and products. You will learn that Terror comes in a variety of flavours, an OAP tasts better in sauce, older boys love Oily Boy, Puke is served in bags and a Double Cock is a Keeper.
Logos – World’s Worst
Latte Faces
Posted: 21st, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (3)
