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Pain In The Arse

‘IT’S not every fairytale that ends happily ever after, even if your names aren’t Charles and Diana. ”Ouch! I felt a little prick”And we should pity poor newlyweds Kym Marsh … (read more)

Posted: 28th, August 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

VA Day

‘PROOF that they do things a little more slowly Down Under comes today from the South Australian government, which has only just officially declared the Second World War over. After … (read more)

Posted: 28th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Lucky Stars

‘IN the tabloid world of cover-ups and the uncovered, celebrity rules. And the event that’s getting the papers excited is ITV’s new game show: ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get Me out … (read more)

Posted: 27th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Wanting For Nothing

‘ASIDE from this two-week hiatus, so surrounded are we with the cloak of celebrity that it comes as no surprise to read the Express’s tale that most of want to … (read more)

Posted: 27th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Trigger Happy VP

‘DICK Cheney is getting an itchy finger. It is now almost a year since the September 11 attacks on the World Trade Centre and the Pentagon and in the intervening … (read more)

Posted: 27th, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Jewry Out On Sacks

‘THE prospect of any country in the Middle East stockpiling nuclear weapons is indeed a scary one – and one we would, of course, expect the United States to take … (read more)

Posted: 27th, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Thanks For The Memories

‘REMEMBER this name: Andi Bell. At 34, he has just become the World Memory Champion after at last usurping Dominic O’Brien, who has been champion for as long as anyone … (read more)

Posted: 27th, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Same Old Story

‘PAPER talk – dontcha love it? Well they certainly do down at the Lane, where Tottenham’s dreams of glory flourish most bountifully during the summer months in between football seasons. … (read more)

Posted: 27th, August 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

A Hard Pill To Swallow

‘WHILE British politicians struggle with the issue of drugs, an MP in Thailand has come up with a novel way to dispose of drugs and raise money for the government … (read more)

Posted: 27th, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Get Them Out Of Here

‘YOU might think that a three-day adventure in the Australian outback would be an ideal holiday. But then, you’re not a celebrity. Could there be anything worse for someone who … (read more)

Posted: 27th, August 2002 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Equal Opportunities

‘IT might not always seem like it, but this page is usually written by a nine-year old girl called Kelly. Supposed genius, but not a single GCSE to his nameHowever, … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Britney Speared

”’I SMOKE, I drink and, yes, I’ve had sex. But who cares? It’s none of anybody’s business.” That innocent look is not fooling anyoneThese are not the words of a … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Chained And Disabled

‘IT seems that what Britney wants is a bad lad, a rogue, a cad. And who better to fill her boots than Jeffrey Archer? For once, he has nothing to … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Chelsea Blues

‘OFF the pitch, it’s not been a good start to the season for Chelsea. For starters, there was the little courtroom drama involving John Terry and Jody Morris, charged with … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

That Friday Feeling

‘IT started with Sunday matches, then we had Monday matches, Saturday morning matches – and today we have a Friday match. How long can it be before there are Premiership … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

Snapping Out Of It

‘THERE are many ways to approach Michael Jackson’s nose. Iconic object, medical curiosity, aesthetic statementÂ…Is his nose out of joint? One thing we can all agree on, however, is that … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

The Comfi-Slax King

‘THIS story is brought to you by the makers of Comfi-Slax, the adjustable trousers for men of stature. Dad?We are proud to announce our association with Peter ”Big Elvis” Vallee, … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2002 | In: Reviews | Comment

Bathroom Scales

”’IT WAS very inconvenient, ” said Tan Cheng Peng. ”When we had no choice but to use the toilet, we would use it quickly and keep an eye out for … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Just Good Friends

‘AFTER so many years of watching the same characters pulling the same facial expressions and demonstrating the same annoying idiosyncrasies, you’d think that the appeal of Friends would have worn … (read more)

Posted: 23rd, August 2002 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Great Britons

‘ROBBIE Williams. Michael Crawford. Boy George. What do these three have in common? There’s their gender of course, though even that is a little suspect in at least one case. … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Golden Ballpoint

‘NATURALLY our greatest living hero, David Beckham, has made the BBC’s list of 100, though his wife Victoria has, incomprehensibly, been omitted. And now, Golden Balls has been offered a … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, August 2002 | In: Broadsheets | Comment

Nights To Remember

‘IF YOUR only experience of Peter Kay is his monosyllabic contributions as a talking (or rather, grunting) head on I Love Whichever Decade I’m Being Paid To Reminisce About This … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, August 2002 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The Mask Slips

‘WE HAVE long suspected that behind his loveable avuncular facade, Sir Bobby Robson is a seething mass of bitterness and resentment. When he appeared on a recent documentary about Sir … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, August 2002 | In: Back pages | Comment

Sex Drive

‘THEY say men can’t do two things at once, but this story from Canada proves it’s a myth. Police in Ontario were ”astonished” to discover that a car they stopped … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

Fighting Talk

‘BRITISH men are cold and incapable of expressing their feelings. But don’t take our word for it, ask any American actress – they never seem to shut up about it. … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, August 2002 | In: Tabloids | Comment

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