Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
What Really Happened When Anna Nicole Smith Went To The Bahamas: WikiBitch
WIKILEAKS: Aka WikiBitch, has produced a cable in which a State Department employee brightens up a slow news day (Nov. 15, 2006) in the Bahamas by telling his colleagues that Anna Nicole Smith is a Hurricane 5 celebrity:
Several months into her Bahamian residency, American B-list celebrity and regular entertainment television fixture Anna Nicole Smith has changed the face of Bahamian politics. Not since Category 4 Hurricane Betsy made landfall in 1965 has one woman done as much damage in Nassau. Lying in disarray in her wake are Doctor’s Hospital, the Coroner’s Court, the Department of Immigration, local mega-lawyers Callenders and Co., formerly popular Minister of Immigration Shane Gibson, and possibly Prime Minister Christie’s PLP government.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
JLS And Tinie Tempa Rock Wembley: Photos
JLS were with Tinie Tempa (sunglasses) at Wembley Arena in north London last night. At one point the X Factor stars flew over the crowd in a Mercedes sleigh. Stars in a sleigh. This is Christmas, fans. If you like JLS you will vole these photos. If you don’t, you need to see what the youth are into…
Posted: 23rd, December 2010 | In: Music | Comment (1)
What Sex With Katy Perry Is Really Like: Bring Cards
KATE Perry wants us to wonder about what sex with like her is really like:
“I have secrets and magic tricks, of course. I can’t share them because then you’d all know. But let’s just say I’m not shy.”
A few weeks into new marriage and already she pulled out the top hat and the rabbit. Their silver wedding anniversary will see the statue of Liberty disappear – inside Katy!! Behold the live TV spectacular!!!!
Posted: 22nd, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Peter Andre And Kerry Katona’s Christmas Together: What Lies Within OK!
PETER Andre is on the cover of OK!. He’s giving the camera a big muppet-mouthed smile while shoving a generous fairy cake into his daughter Princess TenaLadii’s face. Not so very long ago, the child mother, the Teflon-coated Katie Price, told us via Twitter:
“I want to withdraw them from the public eye as I want them to have as normal a childhood as possible and want them to choose what they want.”
Can this outing be related to that Tweet?
While we wonder at that, we study the latest installment in the made-for-idiots fauxmance between Peter and Kerry Katona, the former queen of own-brand ketchups. On the OK! cover, she is sat next to Peter, dandling one child on her knee while another gives us a small-toothed, hesitant smile.
Says the headline:
“Peter & Kerry – It’s Our First Christmas together.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, December 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Sir Paul McCartney Plays Liverpool As Heather Mills Recalls Her Life As Penny Lane: Photos
HEATHER Mills’ words were still ringing in our ears as Sir Paul McCartney played a concert at the Carling 02 Academy in his home city of Liverpool. The latest rumour on the internet is that at a meet-the-teachers night for Mills and Sir Paul’s daughter Beatrice, the child was praised for her skill with the saxophone. Mills, aka Penny Lane, is alleged to have replied:
“Yes. She gets that from me.”
This is augmented by another quote form the women known locally as Lovely Rita:
I ask if Beatrice is musical. “Well, yeah, because all her family are – I play saxophone and oboe, my brother plays bass trombone and has a rock band, my sister plays the flute, my mother played piano and my dad played six instruments, so…”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, December 2010 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comments (4)
Shakira Works The Primark Lettuce Leaf: O2 Show Photos
SHAKIRA was at London’s O2 arena last night. Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll is 4ft 11in, and is thus able to dress in Primark’s junior range and wave about a lettuce leaf as if it were the green sail of an ocean going ship…
Hollywood Stars First Films: A Great Gallery
FOR every Johnny Depp, who made his firm film appearance in A Nightmare on Elm Street (movie), 1984, there are thousands of actors who never went on to make it big. In this gallery who will see when some of Hollywoods legends made their debut. Would a young Tom Hanks survive He Knows You’re Alone? Sylvester Stallone’s first big acting job was The Party at Kitty and Stud’s, a 1970 soft porn flick. Who knew..?
Read the rest of this entry »
Vanessa Hudgens Changes Name To Rihanna Bieber Lohan: Photos
VANESSA Hudgens proves that is life after Zac Efron and High School Musical by posing for photos at her 22nd birthday party. Hudgens cuts a dash. But she is not such a big star anymore. In response, Old Mr Anorak’s current wife has changed the name of her newly adopted American child refugee Britney Vanessa-Hudgens Efron Jonas to Bieber JLS Rihanna Lohan. She hopes this will make the child feel more relevant…
9943546
Posted: 20th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Matt Cardle’s Book Is A Journey Into Obscurity
MATT Cardle, the X Factor winner, was signing pages of his book Matt Cardle: My Story at Waterstones in London. From being a ordinary bloke who could sing – he was a painter and decorator from Essex, no less – Matt is now a shiny popstar with a book and a message. His watery version of Biffy Clyro’s Many Of Horror’ is at top of the charts. His hair is no longer beneath a cap. And so begins the end of the chap you liked and followed on the telly.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 20th, December 2010 | In: Music | Comments (3)
Alice Douglas Is A Hero’s Hero: The World’s Worst Columnist Is Here To Entertain You
ALICE Douglas will now pander to every one of your prejudices. She will explain why you dislike toffs, pushy mums, Guardian readers, Daily Mail readers, modern parents, Guardian writers, other people’s children, reality TV, TV talent shows and humanity:
You may recall Alice as Lady Alice Douglas who in 2007, told Mail readers:
You kids just don’t know how to party
She wanted to tell us about her brill 16th birthday party:
At the time, my long-suffering mother, Ann, was married to the playwright Robert Bolt and living in Chiswick, West London. But she had kept a little house in Putney which had been hers before the marriage, and its style was her sole creation… I was a natural born punk. I embraced the whole philosophy even before I knew it had been invented.
Whoah, readers. Steady on with the laughter. Things are about to get even better. Lady Alice is now the Guardian’s plain Alice Douglas, and she wants to tell about her utterly brill kidzz.
One day in May this year, Hero, my 11-year-old daughter – a budding musician – decided to do a quick internet search for music competitions she could enter. Little did I know that within a matter of months this would lead to both Hero and her younger brother Tybalt appearing in separate television series before millions of people and immersing the whole family in the dizzying world of television talent shows.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 20th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
Celebrity Candids Of 2010: Keanu, DiCaprio GaGa, Boyle, Spears, Lohan And Rihanna Caught Out
THE celebrity photos of 2010: Lady GaGa worked the hotdog; moody Keanu Reeves created a meme and became the ying to happy-go-lucky Leonardo DiCaprio’s yang; Susan Boyle gave Celtic the full face; Russell Brand did the business; Mickey Rourke got cotton mouth; Snoop Dogg flew his kite; Rihanna taught the kids to swear; Mariah Carey took the dog; Britney Spears snarled; Joe Jonas fumbled,. Kesha paled; Snooki went lame; Lindsay Lohan aged; Oprah Winfrey mouthed the wiener; Coco impressed; and Tiger Woods looked for inspiration in a clingy dress…
Posted: 20th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Does TMZ Accuse Jermaine Jackson Of Stealing His Own Stuff?
JERMAINE Jackson says someone has stolen in excess of $150,000 worth of furs, jewels, watches and other stuff that was in a Louis Vuitton bag.
The man with the raisin hair – Michael Jackson’s brother – is now so impoverished that his total goods in bag are worth a paltry $150 gs? Jackson had bags worth more than that – carrier bags.
But this story has one more angle. TMZ reports:
A week after Jackson filed the police report, he filed docs in his child support case — claiming he couldn’t afford the $3,000/month for his kids, Jaafar and Jermajesty. He’d like the payment reduced to $215 a month.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 19th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Karen Gillan: Dr Who Babe Picks A Fetish (Photos)
DR Who fans rejoice. Karen Gillan, who plays Amy Pond, the TV Doctor’s 11th Doctor’s assistant, has decided that her career is ready for the lads mags poses. We offer no complaints…
Spotter: Shortlist
Posted: 18th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Captain Beefheart Interview: Don Van Vliet (1941 – 2010)
CAPTAIN Beefheart RIP. Here he is in interview. The quality of the video seems to fit. Remember:
Wait until the moon is out, then go outside, eat a multi-grained bread and play your guitar to a bush. If the bush dosen’t shake, eat another piece of bread.
Read the rest of this entry »
Majela ZeZe Diamond Sings This Year’s Christmas Hit
MAJELA ZeZe Diamondwill now tells us in song Father Christmas F*cked My Pussy.
This is the (Christmas pussy song). All other Christmas pussy songs are fakes.
We don’t know if she kissed Santa. But she most likely knows someone who has…
spotter: D-listed
P Diddy Combs Suffers As Woman Catches Fire In His Bath Full Of Tap Water
FIRST Usher is kicked in the head by a fan. Now The New York Fire Department is at the venue for Sean “Diddy” Combs new album launch. There is a fire. Diddy Man is OK but the woman sat in his bath tub has a shorter, curlier wig than usual as what passes for her hair catches fire.
The whole thing looks like a put up job. If anything was burning it that room, the crew would be hanging over the source and taking it in deep.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 17th, December 2010 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment
Liz Hurley Send Licks On Shane Warne’s Tweet Beat
LIZ Hurely and Shane Warne are the talk of the tabloids. Before that sensation hits the newsstands, Liz, women whose primary sexual characteristics remain her chief selling point, had offered up a Tweet on November 3 2010 that marks her out as a having a rich future reprising the great British sex comedy:
Sammy sends you a special lick and says he’d like to put his silky head on your shoulder.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Kardashian Christmas Cards Will Ruin Your Year: Photos
ZIP on your hair and set the Photoshop gage to “Dipped in double cream” – the Kardashian family are ready for their Christmas cards close ups. Sending out photos of yourself is such an American thing. They fails to realise that to really cheer up your mates and those people who live in your address book but not your life you need to send them a photo of you looking destitute, plain and morose. Perhaps, even, insert a long rambling note about how your life is a failure, bemoaning your children’s descent into socialite porn and that the lizard peoples are to blame. Give your card recipients hope, joy and something to talk about over the turkey drummers…
Posted: 16th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Usher Hurt In Staged Sex Act: Video
THAT Usher chap is no Akon. When Akon gets a fan on stage he dry jumps and leaves nothing to chance. Usher hauls the fan and stage and wants to look more lover than jack rabbit. He bumps. He grinds. He spoons. She goes to flip her leg over his head to give him a view of her fanbase and smacks him in the face.
Read the rest of this entry »
Kesha Does A Sex Cymbal: Her UK Debut In Photos
DID you, perchance, see the Kesha show at the O2 Shepherds Bush Empire? This was her debut concert in the UK. The show lasted 56 minutes. Dave Gilmour’s prog-rock Charlie Gillmour’s Austerity Past, Present and Pluperfect has a longer intro. Still, does Charlie’s song feature a woman who looks a bit like John Travolta in Ian Botham’s old hair, with blue lips, and a 1980s hairdresser’s wardrobe performing a sex act with a cymbal? Back to the drawing board, Dave…
Posted: 15th, December 2010 | In: Music | Comments (2)
Katie Price Leaves Alex Reid (Right Up To Page 43)
IN this week’s OK! you can read: “KATIE PRICE – LEAVES HUSBAND ALEX.”
The grey zone is where truth and OK! collide. On page 43, Katie is the subject of a new teaser:
“KATIE PRICE SAYS, DESPITE THE RUMOURS, SHE’S TILL VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH HER HUSBAND ALEX REID”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Rejoice: Scarlett Johansson And Ryan Reynolds Have Split
GOOD news that Scarlett Johansson is getting divorced from her husband Ryan Reynolds. Despite frequent requests by Old Mr Anorak’s office for them to attend his annual Swing And Ming-le festival, there had been reply. It became clear that both were monogamous people.
Now they have split, Old Mr Anorak invites them, independently, to chillax with him at the at his Camp Ping-Pong single’s Fortnight on the Thai coast. Pack light.
Posted: 15th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Star Wars: Darth Vader And C-3PO Started Out As German And French Firefighters
DID George Lucas get inspiration for Star Wars heavy breather and stuff shirt Darth Vader and C-3PO, respectively, from Vajen-Bader–style helmets for German (menacing black one) and French (flashy golden one) firefighters?
The masks are from between the mid-1800s and World War I.
Read the rest of this entry »
Sweden Erupts: Basshunter, Dewani, Assange And Wahab al-Abdaly Are The News Cycle
BASSHUNTER, the former Big Brother star and keen fisherman, also known as Jonas Erik Altberg, is alleged to have sexually assaulted two women in Kirkcaldy’s Kitty nightclub, Fife, on December 10, 2010.
He has been released on bail. He’s flown back to his native Sweden. Basshunter’s management say the allegations are “untrue”.
Incredible, isn’t it? Sweden is yet again setting the news agenda. This is the fourth Sweden-featured scandal in a matter of days:
Shrien Dewani is alleged to have played a part in the murder of his new wife, Swedish national Anni Dewani.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 14th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (8)
Katie Price’s New Blonde Baby: Wikileaks Misses Jordan Pregnancy Shocker
KATIE Price is pregnant. It’s front-page news in the Daily Star, which can always be relied upon for facts. Get a load of that headline:
Baby Joy For Jordan
And for anyone still confused, or who think the headline is wrong:
Good news for Kate and Alex
But wait a moment. By Gemma Wheatley has more:
Jordan’s new honey blonde hair is a secret signal that she is finally pregnant again, her fans reckon.
Jordan… Secret… Katie Price would keep a pregnancy a secret?
In an interview, Kate, 32, said: “I’ve always happened to be blonde when I’m pregnant. It’s really weird. So worry if I’m blonde!”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 14th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
