Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Coco Austin Photos Shame Those Vacant Page Three Girls
COCO Austin, Anorak’s Woman of the Year 2010 – now for 2011! – continues to show the Sun’s Page 3 and all other organs of tabloid titillation that the web leads the way in matters of the hearts. While the Sun slaps jarring bon mots on economical and ecumenical matters and noble quotes into their speech bubble mouths, causing the women to look vacant and robotic, mere narcissistic reflections of self-aggrandizing male desires, Coco is all woman. Twitter is her medium. She’s more engaging than a toilet at a cystitis convention. Coco speaks for herself. This is her latest work…
Posted: 11th, January 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Michael Jackson’s 25 Most Used Words
MICHAEL Jackson song lyrics: What do you think are the 25 most common words in Michael Jackson’s songs from 1979 to 2009?
All together:
Make girl come now
Wanna just love really bad…
Spotter: mypantsareonfire
Posted: 10th, January 2011 | In: Music | Comments (3)
Strongman Is Stanless Steel: A Film Hit For 2011
HERE’S the trailer for Strongman – a film documentary about Stanless Steel – “The Strongest Man in the World at Bending Steel and Metal”.
He’s the first man since the Cyclops in the 1890’s to legitimately bend coins in his fingers.
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Pregnant Victoria Beckham Is Looking At Food For Two
DAVID and Victoria Beckham are expecting a fourth child in the summer. The clues were there when rumours reached us that Vicky had been looking at food for two. And it has to be a girl. A mini Posh is what we crave. We need a Juliet, a Santa or a Vida…
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Posted: 9th, January 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irimia Presents A Picture History Of Celebrity Shoplifters
DID you know that Cheeky Girl Gabriela Irimia has been, allegedly stealing groceries from a branch of Sainsburys in Alderley Road, Wilmslow, Cheshire.
The 26-year-old imported Essex girl has been presented with a police caution for theft.
She adds her name to this pantheon of celebrity lifters (alleged):
“I grabbed a few pens and paper from Woolworths and made a dash for the door but the security guard grabbed me.” Go on. “I thought it was all over. I thought the club would drop me. And I was convinced the school would expel me.” And where would Steven be today without GCSEs?
Posted: 9th, January 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Madonna’s Audition For Fame At 21: Video
MADONNA auditioned for the hit TV show Fame when she was 21. She failed. Had only she succeed she could now be as famous as Lee Curreri, Valerie Landsburg and Gene Anthony Ray.
Anyhow, here’s Madonna acting. She was, as she ever has been, a terrible actress…
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Did Mel Gibson Beat Oksana Grigorieva To Prepare Her For His Fantasy ‘Nigger’ Rape?
DID Mel Gibson use to beat Oksana Grigorieva to get aroused during sex? She says yes, he did. And this is Mel who, allegedly, fantasises about her being “raped by a pack of niggers”.
The couple are fighting over custody of their daughter Lucia. She claims he roughed her up to get it up.
He claims she “is endangering Lucia by promoting a ‘smear campaign’ against him”.
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Posted: 6th, January 2011 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
People’s Choice Awards 2011 In Photos: Bieber, Twilight And Jennifer Aniston
THE 2011 People’s Choice Awards in photos: . Bieber was beaten to the Breakout Artist gong by his made-for-PR lover Selena Gomez. he was pipped to the and Male Artist award by Eminem.
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Posted: 6th, January 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Billy Bragg Is the Big House Boy From Burton Bradstock
BILLY Bragg, the “big-nosed boy from Barking”, is the voice of socialism in Burton Bradstock, west Dorset. Bragg’s home is a grand £1.5 million house by the sea. Singing about working on the line with the common man pays better than actually working on the line.
But all is now happy. Bragg is the target of a hate mail campaign. Person or persons want him out of the village. Bragg blames the Tories, for the “powerless ranting of a bitter individual who is angry that, even in a sleepy village like ours, people reject the politics of racism”.
But all we see is a bloody big house.
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Posted: 6th, January 2011 | In: Music | Comments (3)
Nicki Minaj’s Facebook Row Is A Coco Theme Park Ride: Photos
NICKI Minaj would like you to know that the photo of her dressed in a fishnet shag suit sticking her fabulous bum out like a Coco Austin theme park ride does not violate Facebook terms. Her fans love it. You might too. But, then, it’s all about the music, isn’t it?
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Wannabe Black Girl Justin Bieber Likes Black Artists
JUSTIN Bieber, fresh from adding his name to an official range of home hairdressing and pudding bowl merchandise tells Vanity Fair that he is still in tune with his inner black girl in a plaid skirt:
“Music is music, and I’m definitely influenced by Michael Jackson and Boyz II Men and people who were black artists—that’s what I like. But I like their voices and I like how they entertain—it’s not about what color they are.”
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Gerry Rafferty RIP: Walking Champion Dies
GERRY Raffery, lead singer of Stealer’s Wheel, champion of urban rambling down Baker Street has died. He was just 63. RIP. Take it away – this is a great song:
GQ Turns Romeo Beckham Into A Major Me
ROMEO Beckham is one of this country’s most fashionable “men”. The scion of David and Victoria Beckham is 26th in GQ’s list of Britain’s Best Dressed men.
The magazine says Romeo is “frighteningly tuned in”.
There is more.
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Posted: 4th, January 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Peter Postlethwaite Picked A Good Day To Die
DID Peter Postlethwaite pick a good day to die? The actor Stephen Spielberg called “the best actor in the world” is front-page news. But in life he was never so lauded. Aldous Huxley and CS Lewis died on the same day as President John Kennedy. Only one of them hogged the headlines.
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Posted: 4th, January 2011 | In: Film | Comments (2)
Blaxploitation Films: A Gallery Of Film History
BLAXPLOITATION films of the 1970s showed black people on the big screen as the stars of the show. The working class characters were larger than life. The films were cheap to make, and with their lurid colours, confused plots, clownish costumes, absurd lines and jarring scene changes they looked it. Jim Brown, Richard Roundtree, Vonetta McGee and Pam Grier (NSFW) were big names in the movies. The women were gorgeous, feisty and sexy. The men were muscular and tough.
You might wonder why the word “exploitation” was used to describe such films as Black Dynamite, Blacular and Shaft. The films starred a black cast. But were they exploitative? No. They gave black stars a chance to perform and entertain. Blacks got to see people who looked like them being something more than a wise maid or a magical fool.
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Posted: 3rd, January 2011 | In: Film | Comment (1)
Frankie Sandford Linked To Man City Player: The Saturdays’ Professional Lover At Large
FRANKIE Sandford has been linked to more men than a gay rumour on a prison chain gang. Today, The Saturday’s singer is linked to Manchester City reserve Wayne Bridge. Incredibly, Sandford has not been linked to family man John Terry. So, all is well in football land. Still, the NoTW’s Stephen Moyes manages to narrow his eyes, dim the lights and say that Sandford “bears a striking similarity” to Vanessa Perroncel. She doesn’t.
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Posted: 2nd, January 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Katie Price Edits The News Of The World: Photos
KATIE Price and her walking Toffee Crisp (Alex Reid) are in sunny foreign climes for “crisis talks”. These are not crisis talks to save the world, not to see how Katie’s neon skin tones compare to actual tans. These are talks save their marriage. Well, so says the NoTw’s Sarah Hajibagheri in her “exclusive”.
JORDAN and Alex Reid have flown to a secret holiday destination for crisis talks to try and save their marriage, the News of the World can reveal.
This secret revelation is illustrated by a portrait-style picture of Jordan and Alex having a snack in a restaurant.
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Posted: 2nd, January 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Chery Cole And Ashley Cole’s Baby Will Be Born In 2011: Best Prediction Of 2010?
PREDICTIONS are lots of fun. But it might be best to leave it to the professional, like TV psychic Derek Acorah. In February 2010, he saw visions of Cheryl Cole and her Ashley Cole. Caitlin Moran quotes him thus:
“Before the end of 2010, Cheryl and Ashley will be committed to a baby. It will be born in 2011.”
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Posted: 31st, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John: Photos Of Elton John’s Son
ELTON John, 62, is now father to Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John. The birth mum is a surrogate. (Whose egg? Liz Hurley? Liz Taylor? Liz Windsor?) The other dad is Elton’s husband David Furnish, 48. Anorak likes the name, although the double-barreled surname evokes images of a smark downstairs privy.
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Posted: 30th, December 2010 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comments (77)
Ashton Kutcher’s Six Pack And Demi’s Crotch Pelt Will Save Mankind
ASTON Kutcher lets readers of the February issue of Men’s Health know that his six-pack is there to save Demi Moore (and her wrap-around pelt) in a post-apocalyptic struggle for survival. Only the fittest and most photogenic will survive.
“People’s alarm systems at their homes will no longer work. Neither will our heating, our garbage disposals, hot-water heaters that run on gas but depend on electricity – what happens when all our modern conveniences fail? I’m going to be ready to take myself and my family to a safe place where they don’t have to worry. I’m telling you, it was like a preview [of what’s to come]… All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the end of day. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I care about.”
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Posted: 28th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Natalie Portman Marries A Millepied: In-Sex And In Health
NATALIE Portman is engaged to be married to the father of her embryonic baby. Portman is marrying the choreographer Benjamin Millepied. She can expect to hear the pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pitter-patter and so on of a happy little Millepied.
Isabella Rossellini was right
Posted: 27th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Coco Austin Is Anorak’s Woman Of the Year
COCO Austin is Anorak’s Woman of The Year. (Image: that’s her Christmas card.) She will most likely be Anorak’s woman of the next year to come. Coco is on Twitter dishing it to those who say she’s too big to be a mo-del:
To all these Glamour Magazines that R hating on me. Eat your heart out!Sorry that I’m too thick for you
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Posted: 26th, December 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Daniel Craig And Rachel Weisz’s Real Life Dream House Romance: Photos
ARE Daniel Craig and actress Rachel Weisz at it? The NoTW says the actors are embroiled in “secret romance”. So secret is it that the stars of the big screen are in Dorset (sources suggest The Pavilion in Milborne Wick).
where they have “strolled to a country pub where they snuggled together in front of the fire for a Christmas Eve drink”.
Even more secretively, you might have read bout it on December 1?
And get this:
Warmly wrapped in thick coats, scarves and wellies – and with their faces almost hidden under sunglasses and woolly hats – they held hands and occasionally clung on to each other as they gingerly manoeuvred their way down icy lanes.
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Posted: 26th, December 2010 | In: Film | Comments (3)
Natalie Portman Smells Of Vegan And Dior Fur
NATALIE Portman, star of Black Swan and an all round babe, is the new face of Miss Dior perfume. Nice work. Only, Portman is a vegetarian activist. And she does not use animal products, like fur and leather:
I’m often interrogated about being vegetarian (e.g., “What if you find out that carrots feel pain, too? Then what’ll you eat?”).
She tells InStyle magazine:
One of the things that’s been so nice is that Dior made all of the shoes for me with no animals and no leather or anything because I don’t wear any leather… They remade all my shoes so I can wear Dior shoes without taking lives.
Phew! Good job Dior never stuck her in its fur range. Still, Portman agonised:
“It was definitely a war inside my head for a long time and finally, I was like, we can actually do something very positive with this, especially given the kind of company Dior is, which is truly elegant.”
Smell that, readers? Now that’s a perfume…
Spotter: Blisstree, Holly Wont
er new set of animal-rights ethics:
“One of the things that’s been so nice is that Dior made all of the shoes for me with no animals and no leather or anything. They remade all of my shoes so I can wear Dior shoes without taking lives.”
One of the reasons the 29-year-old beauty decided to work with Dior was because they share the same ethics as her.
She said: “It was definitely a war inside my head for a long time and finally, I was like, we can actually do something very positive with this, especially given the kind of company Dior is, which is truly elegant.”
You won’t find many diehard fashionistas argue with that. But it must have been quite a feat to convince John Galliano to remake everything with vegan-approved materials, considering what he sent down his runway this year. Let’s just say it’s not the type of company a true vegan would associate with. Especially when the activist in question has compared eating meat to rape.
But don’t take my word for it. Consider Style.com’s narrative of Dior’s Fall 2010 Ready-to-Wear collection:
After Karlie Kloss had swept on, swirling a brown leather highwayman’s cape over a ruffled pink chiffon dress and brown thigh boots, the narrative was established: This was to be a brisk albeit slightly perfunctory trot around the circuit of Galliano’s longtime favorite eighteenth-century redingote shapes, hacking jackets, and jodhpurs, interspersed with many more of the little chiffon dresses. …
As the show took a detour into citified country clothes—checked wool pencil skirts, baker boy caps, and a blanket coat in mohair—it was the knitwear that ended up commanding the most attention. This is, after all, the season where unexpected ways of knitting have been a focal point in such influential collections as Prada and Dolce & Gabbana. Dior’s answers were a cream oversize cardigan-coat, threaded through with blue satin ribbon, and two lacy raschel-knit dresses.
The whole impression? Item by item, there was plenty to go on, from the furs—treated to a new technique that mimics dressy layered frills, edged with an eyelash fringe—to the heavily reiterated thigh boot to the dirty-pastel georgette evening gowns.
Leather, silk chiffon, wool, mohair, and fur — it takes imagination to incorporate that many animal products in one collection. Not to mention that Christian Dior Beauty — which manufactures the very perfume that is lining Natalie Portman’s pockets — is on animal-rights group’s Uncaged U.K.’s boycott list for its policy of testing on animals. In all, Dior sounds like PETA’s worst nightmare. And it would be Natalie’s as well if she could only see around those dollar signs that are clouding her vision.
Posted: 23rd, December 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Enrique Iglesias’s Hentai Rock Opera: Featuring James Bond Porn
ENRIQUE Iglesias’ latest outpouring of pop pap is called – ahem – Tonight (I’m Fuckin’ You). Soft-faced Enrique has only gone and created a Hentai rock opera. It’s porn delivered with a cartoonish edge by a man so soft-focused he might be a singing smudge.
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