Money | Anorak - Part 53

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Money in the news and how you are going to pay and pay and pay

In Photos: Richard Branson’s Dita Von Teese Tongue And Other Women

SIR Richard Branson did not launch Virgin to meet girls. It’s just perk of the job. We spotted Branson celebrating the 10th Anniversary of Virgin Atlantic flights to Las Vegas from London Gatwick by hoisting Dita Von Teese over his shoulder at McCarran International Airport, Las Vegas. He seemed to enjoy it. Just as he’s enjoyed meeting and greeting: Natalie Imbruglia, Kate Moss, Kristen Davies, Katie Price, Maddy Ford, Nell McAndrew and Emma Bunton. Feel the love. Feel it…

Al Fayed is over here.


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Sir Richard Branson and Dita Von Teese pose for photographers at McCarran International Airport, Las Vegas, USA to celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Virgin Atlantic flights to Las Vegas from London Gatwick.

Posted: 16th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comments (4)

Obama Moves To Take Over BP’s Goodwill Funds

BP is being taken over by Barack Obama. Well, not all of it – just the bits that do good works and reflect well on…Obama:

White House officials on Sunday said they wanted BP to put “substantial” funds into an escrow account to cover claims by Gulf Coast businesses and residents affected by the spill.

President Barack Obama plans to bring up the idea at a White House meeting Wednesday with top BP executives, including Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg.

The call was echoed by congressional leaders and state officials. In a June 10 letter to BP released on Sunday, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D., Nev.) and other Democrats asked BP to establish a $20 billion account, administered by an independent trustee, that would be used to pay the damages and clean-up costs associated with the spill. Florida Governor Charlie Crist and other officials in the Gulf Coast region joined the chorus.

It remained unclear how any such funds would be supervised, in particular who would oversee the compensation decisions. Administration officials on Sunday didn’t comment on the size of the escrow account they will seek, or on where money might come from. Nor did officials detail the legal status of the proposal.

Such a fund would provide a measure of security, proponents argue, for people concerned BP might file for bankruptcy protection or otherwise stop paying claims at some point in the future. It also has the potential to give the government or its designees control of distributing a significant pool of relief money.

Oh, thanks Barack Obama. Cheers for the cash you are redistrubuting. Not your cash – BP’s. And you will do a better job of getting value for money than a big company.

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Posted: 14th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comments (12)

Derahlee Lorenzana’s Cosmetic Surgery Dream To Be Plain: Pictures

MORE news on the banking hotness that is Debrahlee Lorenzana, who claims she was sacked from Citigroup for being too darn sexy.

Is Debrahlee Lorenzana Too Hot And Sexy For Bank Work? Photo Study

Debrahlee does talking on the telly:

“I get harassed in the supermarket with my son just wearing sweatpants with my hair in a ponytail...I can’t help how I look

“If being less good-looking means being happy and finding love and not being sexually harassed and having a job where no one bothers you and no one questions you because of your looks, then, definitely, I’d want that. I think of that every day.”

The New York Daily News says Debralee was on telly show about plastic surgery in New York. She was the ideal model, we’d wager. The natural dream. As she says:

“That’s what I want to be: tits on a stick.”

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Posted: 10th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comment

Brighton Council Bans Status Quo Fans From ‘Radical’ Jobs

STATUS Quo fans will not get the chance to work Brighton and Hove City Council. Advert for four exectuive jobs on the Brighton council on the website not apply“.

The £125,000 strategic director posts demand:

“Status Quo fans need not apply”

Status Quo will react with a banner for their Brighton Centre gig that declares:

“Councillors for Brighton and Hove need not attend.”

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Posted: 10th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comment

BP And Tony Hayward Are Now A Nigerian Scam: Letter

THE BP oil spill in the US Gulf is now a Nigerian scam:

From: Dudley Caruthers Esq (Barrister at Law)

Subject: BP Related Agreement Entitlement


Dear Friend

I am the private solicitor for Mr Tony Hayward, the esteemed Chairman and Chief executive of British Petroleum. My client has various personal and family related holdings of BP stock and options. Due to his faithful long standing service to BP the total value of his holdings amounts to in excess of 100m pounds sterling. Mr Heywood is a British citizen but it has been my sorrowful duty to advise him that his personal and family wealth is at great risk of being wrongfully confiscated by US authorities acting extra-territorially under special powers authorised by the US government and with the secret consent of a supine UK political and legal establishment.

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Posted: 9th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comment

Those Post Oil Spill BP Logos In Pictures

BP is embroiled in an oil spill in the gulf. Natural oil is leaking into the natural seas. Barack Obama will not rest until the oil spill is capped. He most likely won’t shower, either. Can sea sponges and the French flag save the US Gulf? The oil industry, pretty much the safest, most regulated industry in the world, is in the mire. So big is the disaster that Ashton Kutcher is travelling at 7mpg to the scene in his thoughts and a massive car. Others are creating images:


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Posted: 9th, June 2010 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comments (4)

Is Debrahlee Lorenzana Too Hot And Sexy For Bank Work? Photo Study

DEBRAHLEE Lorenzana is suing Citibank. She says he was sacked for being “too hot”. Debrahalee Lorenzana – how’s that for a hot name? – is 33. She is a mother of one.  The Village Voice tells us:,

Her bosses told her they couldn’t concentrate on their work because her appearance was too distracting. They ordered her to stop wearing turtlenecks. She was also forbidden to wear pencil skirts, three-inch heels, or fitted business suits.

Debrahlee is 5’5” tall and weighs 125 pounds”… She has “soft eyes” and “flawless bronze skin”. Debrahlee has “J.Lo curves”, a “Jessica Simpson rack” and “Audrey Hepburn elegance”.

She is the ultimate body double.  Her lawsuit says that:

“as a result of the shape of her figure, such clothes were purportedly ‘too distracting’ for her male colleagues and supervisors to bear.”

Too hot ot not? Old Mr Anorak is waiting for his 10 0’clock…


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Posted: 8th, June 2010 | In: Money | Comment (1)

Ben Martin Is The A6 Layby Baber: Austin Maxi Lap Dancing Club To Open Soon

BUSINESSMAN of the Day is Barber Ben Martin, 38, who has opened a hairdresser’s salon in a layby alongside the A6 near Luton. His barber’s in Caddington, Bedfordshire, closed a year ago. He struggled to find work. And then he had a “eureka moment” and opened a new shop in a trailer. Says he:

“I had to check it out with the highways authority and local council but there are no overheads. I drive my trailer there every day. I worked all hours at the start to work out what the best time to work was. Now I do 9.30am to 5.30pm Monday to Friday. Saturday was busy in my barber’s shop but of course on Saturday the roads are quiet.”

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Posted: 16th, May 2010 | In: Money | Comment

James Bond vs The Recession (Cassetteboy): A Video Study

THE recession has done for James Bond and his Dr Who-style franchise. Our pal Cassetteboy has this exclusive video insight into just what went wrong. Bond always was a City boy with an expenses account. In for a Moneypenny, in for a…

Posted: 29th, April 2010 | In: Money | Comment (1)

Global Warming To Blame For National Debt: Cold Counties Are Now Like The Hot Ones

AT 6 mins 30-ish in this tape, you can learn that it’s not only the hot countries in debt these days, yer Paraguary, yer Nigeria, yer Greeks and so on. It’s the cold ones too. Yer Icelands ans forth. Is global warming to blame for the national debt? Possibly…

Posted: 25th, April 2010 | In: Money | Comment

Gordon Brown Solves The National Debt In One Note

OK, Gordon. Time for Plan A:

Posted: 24th, April 2010 | In: Money | Comment

Chris Shaw Is Worth $258.5 Million, And So Is His Tooth

CHRIS Shaw, 29, won $258.5million on the US Lotto. He has British teeth. Which is just one of the millions of alluring features about him.

Wait in line…


Posted: 23rd, April 2010 | In: Money | Comment

Tim Bray Tells Us About Life In Google Ville

EVER wondered what life is like working at Google? Software developer Tim Bray has a blog called My Life at Google. The temptation is to believe that Bray does not exist, a made up person to live the Google dream. But he is real.

And he is blogging on the Google web.

It’s easy to dismiss Google as a force for control. But they have done much that is terrific in organising the nebulous web. But like all big corporations they do homogenise what they touch – and they hire corporate types.

Bray is living on a Google campus in Mountain View. He’s in a Google Apartment. Google ville is twinned with Bournville:

The apartments are comfy but don’t have a lot of personality. Each has good WiFi, two bedrooms and two bathrooms; my flatmate was a taciturn Czech who worked on “data security”. Tim, curious: “What sort of data security work?” Heavy Czech accent: “Every sort of data security.” [Silence falls.]

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Posted: 14th, April 2010 | In: Money | Comment

Gordon Brown Hails TaxPayers’ Alliance’s Digital Debt Clock As A Triumph For The Google Generation

GOOD news is that the national debt is no so large that no-one understands the number. And as a bonus it’s too big to fit onto a cheque. Gordon Brown is said to be “delighted” and says it is “testament to the Google generation”. In other money news, the TaxPayers’ Alliance’s (TPA) digital Debt Clock, which counts up the national debt, passed the Houses of Parliament in central London during the launch of a national tour. After driving around London, the clock, which is believed to be the largest LED clock in the world, will be touring around 10 other cities in the UK including Oxford, Bristol, Cardiff, Birmingham and Edinburgh.

Posted: 12th, April 2010 | In: Money | Comment

KISS Lead Tongue Man Gene Simmons Is The Hair Of Springs Life Equity Strategy

HAVING cracked wigs, long tongues, sex tapes and KISS, Gene Simmons moves into the ultimate gig – flogging Life Assurance, becoming co-founder of both KISS and Cool Springs Life Equity Strategy? You can trust Gene. If you die, will wrap your loved ones in this hair and throw them a bone.

Posted: 7th, April 2010 | In: Money | Comment

Marckus The First Last Vegas Prosti-dude Hooker Blows His Bungalow

READER Bat E Bird tells us, through sources on the Vegas package tour-arama, that The Shady Lady’s first male hooker has retired. Markus has gone back to the adult film bizznizz, and been replaced in the stocks by a male prostitute called “Y. Not”.

Says Shady Lady owner Bobbi Davis in reports:

“A new stud, Y. Not, was hired but his work has been suspended because of an electrical short in his bungalow. The first stud, Markus, made history in January when he became Nevada’s first licensed prostitute.”

His “bungalow” blew? Is he a robot as well?

He had about 10 customers. In fact, at least 10% of his customers were journalists at the New York Post:

One of those customers turned out to be an undercover reporter from the New York Post, who took pictures of Markus and wrote an unflattering, first-person account of her two hours with him.

Spot the hooker.

Posted: 27th, March 2010 | In: Money | Comment

The Taxpayers’ Alliance List Of Budget Cuts

JOHNATHAN Pearce watches the Budget chatter on Samizdata:

It was grimly amusing to watch as TV interviewers tried to get some straight answers out of the UK government and the Tory opposition about what items of public spending would and could be cut to get the finances under control. George Osborne, shadow Chancellor, was pretty evasive, as I have come to expect. Well, for those who want to see some sort of shopping list of cuts, the Taxpayers’ Alliance has come up with a handy list of items deserving of termination.

Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: Money | Comment

The Budget: The Newspapers Decide

HELPING you to make sense of the Budget are the newspapers, which delivers the news without bias nor prejudice. Anorak rounds-up:

Daily Mirror (front page): “SAFE PAIR OF EYEBROWS”

To illustrate the fact that Chancellor Alistair Darling is “on a Budget winner”, the paper solicits the thoughts of “THE SINGLE MUM” on benefits, “THE PENSIONERS”, “THE UNEMPLOYED FAMILY” and “THE LOW EARNER”.

To even up the narrative the Mirror also hears from “THE AVERAGE EARNER”, who just so happens to be saving hard for a new home (Darling told of a Stamp Duty “holiday”) – and “THE SMALL BUSINESS” which can’t see how the Budget will “benefit”. But, then, there’s no word on how it can’t see how it might lose.

This insight is given the headline:

Budget 2010: Are our six Mirror readers better off or not? Click here to find out…

Six? Ooer! Unless the mighty half dozen can get the word out that Darling is good, the Government really is shafted.

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Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: Money | Comment

Gordon Brown’s 35 Days To Explain Why He Sold Country’s Gold At £7bn Loss

THE Telegraph have been fiddling with the lock on Pandora’s box again. AKA the Freedom of Information Act. Gordon has been given 35 days to come up with a reason for selling off the family jewels at a time when gold was at an all time low.

I bet you the explanation, if and when it comes, just in time for the election, doesn’t contain the word ‘prudent.

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Posted: 25th, March 2010 | In: Money | Comment (1)

In Pictures And Analysis: New Labour’s Last Ever Budget



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Posted: 24th, March 2010 | In: Money | Comment

In Pictures: Beggars Caught In The Act

GOOD news for the Labour Party. With Geoff Hoon, Stephen Byers, Patricia Hewitt and Margaret Moran’s fundraising on a break, Anorak has spotted some new Labour stars at work in China. Enjoy the pictures of these beggars caught at it. If the investment in piracy doesn’t save the country, Gordon Brown can always try Plan B…


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Posted: 23rd, March 2010 | In: Money | Comment

Finding A Hole Big Enough For The Landfill Tax

WHILE trying to find out whether Landfill Tax (a completely insane tax) is EU-imposed (which appears to be the case, but it’s not 100% conclusive) I stumbled across this nugget on the BBC:

Under new EU legislation the UK will have to ensure that less than a third of its waste is sent for burial in landfill sites… The figure at present is about 80%. Even then, there will still be large amounts of waste which can neither be recycled nor sent to landfills.

The Environment Agency says space for landfills in south-east England could run out within seven years.

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Posted: 19th, March 2010 | In: Money | Comments (3)

British Airways 45 Minutes From Destroying Gordon Brown’s Parliament

HAVING consulted with Gordon Brown’s holiday itinerary, Unite say their members workign as British Airways cabin crew are cleared to strike.

Mr Brown looked sombre and dark with foreboding as the strike plan was announced. He had earlier picked up a £1000 check for Unite for “campaign work” and  with it instructions to look dark and sombre.

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Posted: 19th, March 2010 | In: Money | Comment

Bernie Madoff Is Evidence Of Univeral Balance

BERNIE Madoff – This may be proof the universe has to balance.

Accord weighed against discord.

Sinner V Saint.

Banker V Overcharged-Overdraft-Student

Bernard L. Madoff the jailed Wall Street super-swindler was was beaten up in jail over a money row, says The Wall Street Journal.

The Journal, which has three leads on the story, said the 71-year old Madoff was treated for a broken nose, fractured ribs and cuts to his head and face.

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Posted: 18th, March 2010 | In: Money | Comment

Advertise On Anorei Collins’ 40NN Chest: In Pictures

ANOREI Collins has a 40NN chest. For a small fee Anroei Collins will walk around Los Angeles with your advert on her NNs. “Are you sick of handing out your business cards?” goes the blurb. “Then try two of ours.” And: “Don’t you want to see your company name splashed all over these? Well everyone else does.” For an additional fee, Anorei Collins will stand and point at your adverts. If you think your company name is suited to Anorei’s shirt, get in touch. Employees of Fnphughffnf, know who you are…


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Posted: 11th, March 2010 | In: Money | Comments (3)