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We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

Juxtaposition fail: Florida Times-Union slaps gun show sticker over shooting story

Florida Times-Union gun

 

This Friday Florida Times-Union front page features a gun show sticker by a story of a shooting.

Says the paper’s ‘vice president of audience’ Kurt Caywood:

All of us at The Florida Times-Union know that gun violence is one of the most emotionally charged and pressing issues facing our community. The tragedy that occurred on a Duval County school bus Thursday was as societally significant as it was frightening. As such, a team of reporters, editors and photographers approached this story with great sensitivity and professionalism, and we stand proudly by their report on page 1A of Friday’s newspaper.

They did. But did you?

The appearance of a gun-related front-page sticky note on the same day was an incredibly regrettable coincidence. It was born of the purposeful separation between our news and advertising departments, an approach we take because we value nothing more than the objectivity of our journalism. That said, this clearly was an oversight. We’re aggressively reviewing our procedures and will implement steps to prevent such a situation in the future.

File under: who reads it before it goes out?

Spotter: Romnesko

 

Posted: 16th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Observer Food Monthly exposes cover model’s eating problem

Observer Food Monthly highlights the ‘worst aim ever’:

 

fail

Spotter: @Gary_Bainbridge

Posted: 16th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Westminster Paedos: Tory MP Alexander Victor Edward Paulet Montagu secret sex crimes against children

The Times has news that an MP who abused boy in 1970s let off with a police caution.

A Conservative MP escaped prosecution for child abuse in the 1970s even though he admitted indecent assault… Victor Montagu was cautioned by police after he assured them that he would avoid contact with the victim. The disclosure will lend weight to allegations of an establishment cover-up of historical child sex abuse.

Montagu was an MP for South Dorset. That’s Alexander Victor Edward Paulet Montagu, also known as Viscount Hinchingbrooke and the Earl of Sandwich.

He indecently assaulted a boy for two years.

And he is DEAD. Of course he is. Because only the dead get judged.

The Guardian says the decision not to prosecute him was made by the Dorset and Bournemouth police force and Sir Norman Skelhorn, QC, the former head of the crown proseuction service.

Sir Norman also decided that Cyril Smith, the Liberal politican, should not face charges after eight men went to police in 1970 claiming that he had abused them. He died in 2010.

That’s was Sir Cyril Smith until he died and was duly found guilty of being a nonce.

A letter from prosecutors in 1972 said:

“The assaults, which are admitted, are not of themselves very serious, and if Mr Montagu is prepared to take the excellent advice given to him by Detective Chief Inspector [Jack] Newman and avoid any contact with the boy I do not think proceedings are called for.”

The Guardian has the facts:

The files show the boy was interviewed on 10 November 1972 after rumours that he was being sexually abused. Two officers visited Montagu at his home in Mapperton, Dorset, and interviewed him under caution. He was later charged by police with two counts of indecently assaulting a male under 16 on a number of occasions between 31 December 1970 and January 1972 and of indecently assaulting the same boy between 31 December 1971 and November 1972. He was remanded to appear at Bridport magistrates court.

But when the then chief constable of Dorset and Bournemouth, Arthur Hambleton, wrote to Skelhorn for advice on the case, prosecutors chose to give Montagu a caution instead of proceeding with a criminal trial in public.

Montagu’s son, Robert says his father abused him between the ages of seven and 11.

Robert Montagu has gone on the record.

The abuse was finally discovered when one of Robert’s sisters realised he was sharing a bath with their father. Shortly afterwards, his mother and the family doctor sat him down and questioned him. He told them everything.

Days later, he was sent back to prep school, confused and terrified that his father would go to prison. Instead, the family decided to say nothing, protecting the reputation of the family whose motto, ironically, is ‘Post Tot Naufragia Portum’ – ‘After so many shipwrecks, a haven’.

Robert says: ‘I do think we have to take this problem more seriously – pursuing people who act in this way and not allowing them to escape. It’s easy for me to say that.

‘I let my father escape, as have all my family. But we’ve got to get tougher. I particularly want families to be active in reporting. It’s a difficult thing but it must be done. You cannot have an 11-year-old telling of abuse that had reached a zenith and not act. You must make sure that person is not in a position to do the same again.’

As Robert grew older, he realised there were others. Once he saw the paperboy go into his father’s bedroom and close the door. Victor, who died in 1995 aged 88, also abused one of Robert’s schoolfriends.

Robert says: ‘I know personally of ten (victims) and I’ve spoken with most of those. They were family friends, London contacts, Dorset contacts, holiday contacts.’

You can read the story in Robert’s book A Humour Of Love. But you can’t ask his dad if it’s all true because dad is dead.

 

Posted: 16th, May 2015 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comment


Intruder ‘looking for teenage girl’ accidentally groped her dad

intruder gropes dad

 

To Dickson, Tennessee, where Corey Huddleston, 52, is charged with aggravated burglary and sexual battery. Huddleston is accused of going to the home of Bret and Elizabeth Cutrell and behaving badly.

He knocked on their front door. A house guest opened up and Huddleston pushed his way inside.

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Posted: 16th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


‘Slick’ Chuka Umunna reinvents himself as indecisive and insecure

When Chuka Umunna annunced his decsiosn to stand as Labour leader, he adressed the electorate with his video:

 

 

Celebrated and attacked for his ‘slickness’, Umanna had announced his ambitions with all the finesse of a 1970s corporate training video. It was a character recalibration up there with Ed Miliband cutting a glass while chanting ‘seven sizzling sausages simmering slowly’ in diction Brian Sewell would consider ‘intimidating’.

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Posted: 16th, May 2015 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comment


Thom Yorke Not John Terry Is On The Cover Of An Iranian Sex Help Manual

chelsea cigarettes

 

You’ve seen Chelsea captain John Terry advertising lung cancer on cigarettes in India.

 

Nicolas Cage

 

You’ve seen Nicolas Cage and Holly Hunter on the cover of a Serbian biology textbook.

 

Thomyorke sex

 

Now you’ve seen Thom Yorke on the Iranian sex book Marital and Sexual Problems in Men.

Previously, the Radiohead singer promised to help Russians “forget about insomnia, fatigue, skin problems, cold, attention deficit disorder, and headaches”.

 

Thom Yorke sex advert

 

Why did non-smoking John Terry not get the sex book contract? Surely some mistake..?

Posted: 14th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


My life as a Californian sex doll doctor (photos and video)

Screen shot 2015-05-14 at 07.55.27

 

The Real Stories documentary Love Me, Love My Doll features “RealDoll expert” Slade Fiero repairing life-size sex toys.

RealDoll’s take one helluva pounding. And Slade’s job is to go in there and make the rough, broken and chaffed smoother than a rubber glove.

 

Screen shot 2015-05-14 at 07.56.22

 

Slade works with Matt McMullen, creator of Abyss Creations, located in Southern California.

“The original concept I had was actually not a sex toy at all,” says McMullen… “It was intended to be a poseable mannequin, or simply a form of art.” He quickly noticed that a lot of people saw the dolls in an erotic way. The company makes about 300 RealDolls each year. A standard-issue model sells for $6,500, while a meticulously customized one can go for as much as $50,000.

 

Screen shot 2015-05-14 at 07.55.17

 

Slade replaces the damaged vagina, which looks like this:

 

realdoll vagina 1

 

Fiero traces his interest in dolls to playing with G.I. Joes and Barbie in his youth.

“I was born in 1960 so Joe was the guy I got to hang out with for those formative years.”

 

sex doll doctor

 

“Slade has a very important place in the doll world,” says Elena Dorfman, a photographer who documented that world in her 2005 book Still Lovers. “People are sending him their beloved—or at least a sex partner that they paid a lot of money for. They’re trusting him to fix her. It’s like sending someone you love to the doctor and hoping they’ll come out all right.”

 

 Silicone RealDoll sex doll faces receive teeth at the Abyss Creations factory on February 5, 2004 in San Marcos, California. RealDolls are created using Hollywood special effects technology and have orifices made of a special soft grade of silicone for people who want to 'enhance their sex lives', according to Abyss Creations literature. Standard female models sell for about $6000, males for $7000, and are sold only over the Internet. 'Shemales' and other special orders are also available. (Photo by David McNew/Getty Images)

Silicone RealDoll sex doll faces receive teeth at the Abyss Creations factory on February 5, 2004 in San Marcos, California. RealDolls are created using Hollywood special effects technology and have orifices made of a special soft grade of silicone for people who want to ‘enhance their sex lives’, according to Abyss Creations literature. Standard female models sell for about $6000, males for $7000, and are sold only over the Internet. ‘Shemales’ and other special orders are also available. (Photo by David McNew/Getty Images)

 

Slade has tips:

“If you care for it, if you treat it right, you can crank her knees up to her shoulders and bang away at that doll with good hard intercourse and come out shining. But clean her out… Clean her off. If you’ve got a hairy chest, you’re going to leave hairs all over her. If you’ve got a cat, she’s going to pick up cat hair. You want to take care of what you’ve got.”

 

Screen shot 2015-05-14 at 07.55.59

 

 

The customers might be registered:

“I had one guy from Berkeley who had sex so hard with his doll that he ripped the leg off it. The doll was less than a year old, and destroyed. Her calves, from below the knee, had what looked almost like knife puncture wounds. Hundreds of them. I don’t know what this guy was doing to this doll.”

 

Screen shot 2015-05-14 at 07.55.40

 

Has Slade ever been tempted to road test his repair:

“I’m not going to be fucking dolls and shipping them to other people. That’s fuckin’ rude. What kind of businessman would I be if I did that?”

 

sex doll factory

 
Spotter: Reddit

Posted: 14th, May 2015 | In: Key Posts, Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


OAP expelled from nursing home for hiding prostitute under his bed

"Is virtual sex like being virtually dead?"

“Is virtual sex like being virtually dead?”

 

A Philadelphia-area man is looking for a new digs. The 70-something year old – described as one of the “more mobile gentleman” – was kicked out of his Norristown assisted living facility for hiding a prostitute under his bed.

Having earned a few dollars from a booze run, Montgomery County Chief Financial Officer Uri Z. Monson says the man invested his earnings on prostitutes.

The Daily Mail notes that the man was only living in the private facility because the county-run God’s holding bay he’d been housed in was closed down.

So. What we have is a man who used his wits to earn money and seeks pleasure in the arms of a willing adult. The entrepreneurial spirit lives on, if not his ability to hire a hotel rom…

 

Spotter: MCH Strategic Data

Posted: 13th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Vegetarian man offended by the smell of meat threatened fellow train passengers with knife

German vegetarianTo the Traunstein to Munich train, Germany, where a vegetatian, 29, has been driven berserk by the smell of meat.

It is past midnight and a group of eight other passengers, ages 18 and 20 years old, are travelling back from the Traunsteiner Spring festival. Two are with kebabs.

The vegetarian finds the smell of meat offensive. The 29-year-old vegetarian insults the group. He then threatens them with a knife, most likely one used to divide grapefruit segments.

He then slaps the two meat eaters about their heads. At Bad Endorf stations, the group leaves the train and tells the police. The vegetarian is arrested by the police in Rosenheim.

He faces charges of bodily harm and threatening behaviour. He also joins the elite list of noteworthy German vegetarians.

 

Posted: 13th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Lord Janner: 203 votes on the law and police PR with dead Jimmy Savile

Lord Greville Janner: a look at reporting on the beleaguered Labour peer.

Daily Mail: “Labour peer Lord Janner attended the House of Lords 634 times and voted 203 times even after his dementia diagnosis”

Alleged paedophile Lord Janner voted 203 times in the House of Lords even after he granted power of attorney to his children because of his dementia….

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 12th, May 2015 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comment


Fighting on a Clapham Junction train was just an everyday commuting ‘nightmare’ in London

Clapham Junction

 

Quote of the week comes to use via the Daily Express. The paper’s report on a travel “nightmare” at London’s Clapham Juncion station is headlined: “Commuters brawl as power cuts halt trains”.

The passengers were “sweltering”.  “Fights broke out.” Firefighters rescued passengers. There were “nightmare scenes”.

And then we hear from passenger Hannah Phillips:

“This is probably the worst train journey I’ve experienced” *

Only probably..?

*(This week.)

 

Posted: 12th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Reader photocopies his Kindle to make a more expensive physical backup

digital-book-backup-5

 

Artist Jesse England’s “E-Book Backup” project sees him photocopy his Kindle version of George Orwell’s 1984. He photocopied every page, one by one. He then uploaded the scanned copy to his Kindle.

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Posted: 12th, May 2015 | In: Books, Reviews, Technology | Comment


Welsh bus company pull ad with topless model offering wa*kers the chance to ‘Ride Me All Day For £3’

welsh bus sexism

 

A Welsh bus company has used a topless woman to encourage wa*kers (that’s not just ‘walkers’ – ed) to “Ride Me All Day For £3”.

N.A.T Group thought the idea brilliant, funny and edgy until it saw the outcry on twitter and pulled the advert:

“In view of the reaction to our bus advertising today we wish to set out our position: Firstly we have stated that our objectives have been to make catching the bus attractive to the younger generation. We therefore developed an internal advertising campaign featuring males and females to hold boards to promote the cost of our daily tickets…

“There has certainly been no intention to objectify either men or women. Given the volume of negativity received we have decided to remove the pictures from the back of the buses within the next twenty-four hours.”

What utter balls. Sex can sell anything. If it can sell the chance to sit in a stinking bus with the great unwashed, then it will.

Posted: 11th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Beyond parody: ‘Is vandalising the Women of World War Two memorial OK?’

The Tab wanted to answer the question: “Is vandalising a war memorial ever OK?”

To which we’d answer. No. But if you must do it, make it funny.

 

Screen shot 2015-05-11 at 17.34.51

 

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Posted: 11th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Father becomes a criminal to give his 2-year-old epileptic daughter marijuana

Would you treat your child with marijuana?

Alex Repetski gives his two-year-old daughter Gwenevere oil-based medical marijuana to help control her seizures. The Thornhill girl’s epileptic seizures are being treated with cannabidiol, one of several active cannabinoids found in the marijuana plant.

Would become a criminal for your sick child?

While extracting oil from marijuana is illegal in Canada, new legislation allows the development of the medical marijuana industry. After the new law went into effect in March 2014, the Repetskis found a doctor who authorized the use of pot for their daughter. There was still one problem: Gwen couldn’t smoke or vaporize the pot, so her father learned how to make marijuana oil in his kitchen. He now gives it to his daughter three times a day. She hasn’t had a seizure since, he says.

If it works, why not use it?

 

Posted: 11th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Lord Janner: the name is erased, the elite weep for justice but the stench lingers

Lord Janner: A look at Labour peer Greville Janner and allegations that he abused children. He says he’s innocent.

Hinkley Times: “Lord Janner U-turn urged by victims’ lawyers”

Well, they would want a change in the ruling that says Genenr is too ill to stand trial. Their view is predictable. A criminal lawyer without a trial is a useless thing.

Another law firm representing alleged victims of Lord Janner has written to Britain’s most senior prosecutor in a bid to overturn the decision not to bring the former MP to trial over child sex abuse claims.

That’s Director of Public Prosecutions Alison Saunders.

Peter Garsden, whose firm is representing three clients in a civil child abuse claim against Lord Janner, has said he wants Ms Saunders to clarify the reasons for her decision by disclosing the various reports which supported it.

Transparency is all. But she has been pretty clear already.

Liz Dux, specialist abuse lawyer at Slater and Gordon, said her firm had written to the DPP to formally request a review of the decision not to go ahead with a prosecution. Ms Dux said all her clients want is “the opportunity to give their evidence and to be heard”.

That can’t be all that they want, can it? You can be heard in the media, where you can also be judged. But you can’t be proven right.

Mr Garsden said the decision not to bring criminal charges in relation to nine victims in spite of the CPS stating there was enough evidence to merit a prosecution had left his clients “outraged”. Mr Garsden added: “We are considering the possibility of judicial review.”

Outrage we can understand.

He is now requesting documentation relating to the criminal investigations into the 86-year-old peer, and also details of the medical reports and legal opinions sought by the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) prior to the announcement of its decision on April 16.

The lawyer has asked for CPS agreement to obtain his own report on Lord Janner’s mental capacity, and wants confirmation there was indeed sufficient evidence to bring criminal charges.

How likely is it that Janner’s health will be tested by representatives fo the alleged victims? The DPP is neutral. The lawyers are not.

In his letter, Mr Garsden has said:

“We would like to see all documents touching and concerning the decision not to prosecute… We wish to discount the validity of an argument that your decision is open to judicial review… Accordingly, the more evidence and documentation you can send to us, in order to justify the decision, the better… We would also like to see all documents surrounding the various attempted, but failed, investigations into Janner in the past.”

Yes. Those past documetns – such as they are – are vital.

Denied a day in court, one alleged victim speaks out.

Hinckley man Hamish Baillie waived his right to anonymity to speak out on his alleged abuse at the hands of Janner. The 47-year-old told the Daily Mail he was molested by Lord Janner during a game of hide-and-seek when he was a 15-year-old resident of a children’s home.

What 15-year-old plays hide and seek with a middle-aged man? Bit odd, no? But we don’t know for certain why, who, what and where because the judiciary won’t alaow the claism to be tested in a court of law.

 

Hinkley Times: “Lord Janner: Why did the the CPS decide not to prosecute and what are the options for the alleged victims now?”

What can his alleged victims do next?
Defending herself from intense scrutiny, Ms Saunders said: “If somebody wants to challenge my decision, I’m not afraid. The proper way to challenge it is through the right to review or judicial review.”

The law is the law.

Under the CPS’ Victims’ Code, introduced in 2013, the alleged victims have a right to challenge such decisions through a review by a prosecutor who was not involved in the original case. If that does not satisfy victims then they can seek a further independent review.

Finally, the alleged victims could seek a judicial review, which does not assess whether the decision was right or wrong but rather if the process leading to the decision was lawful.

 

What can the Goddard inquiry do in this case?

Nothing save for a spot of PR.

Justice Lowell Goddard, who heads up the parliamentary inquiry into child sex abuse, has announced she will look at the allegations and how institutions acted, probing whether there was any establishment cover up.

While she cannot determine Lord Janner is guilty, her inquiry can call witnesses and alleged victims, make findings of fact about the allegations surrounding them and publish them in public.

Meanwhile, Lord Janner’s name is being erased.

Daily Telegraph: “Israeli school removes plaque honouring Lord Janner, the peer accused of sexual abuse. The plaque honouring the Labour peer at the school in Maalot Tarshiha in Israel’s northern Galilee region was removed. The peer’s family deny the abuse allegations”

How can it be restored if there is no trial?

The Herald: “Calls for review of Lord Janner child sex abuse case”

NEARLY 400 politicians have backed calls for a reversal of the decision not to prosecute Lord Greville Janner over sex abuse allegations. The move follows claims by an alleged victim that he was subjected to serious sexual assaults by Labour peer in Scotland….

The list, which was published by the investigative journalism website Exaro prior to the election, has12 SNP politicians including newly elected MPs Alan Brown, Douglas Chapman, Martin Docherty, Drew Hendry, Paul Monaghan, Roger Mullin, John Nicolson and Tommy Sheppard. Also included is Angus MacNeil, who has been SNP MP for the Western Isles since 2005.

Brown, who now represents Kilmarnock and Loudoun, said: “Regardless of the situation there should always be justice for victims.”

Of course there should be justice for victims. That’s stating the bleedin’ obvious. It’s harder to get justice for alleged victims.

Nicolson, the newly-elected MP for East Dunbartonshire said: “I think the evidence needs to be examined in court – and believe the victims deserve to be heard.”

It all deserves to be heard in court. Now let’s join the dots:

Jon Bird, operations manager for the National Association for People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC), said they had been aware of allegations about Janner for a number of years, but could not divulge details to protect the confidentiality of victims.

“Allegations about Lord Janner have been made by many people in many different parts of the country, for a very long time,” he said.

 

It’s the longevity that suggests cover ups. The longevity is key. What we need tio knwo is who around now was also around then. We have the alleged victims, the alleged perpretator deemed too ill to understand ant trial and we have the police.

A Police Scotland spokeswoman said: “The investigation of child abuse, whenever or wherever it has taken place, continues to be a top priority for Police Scotland. This has been highlighted by the launch of the National Child Abuse Investigation Unit last month.

“We would urge any victim of a sexual crime to contact police. All reports are thoroughly investigated by dedicated officers, who provide specialist support to victims and target offenders to bring them to justice.”

But they say they did contact the police years ago. And the police did nothing. Which amneks us wonder if it’s the alleged offence that’s change or spinning of it by an elite under the cosh.

The Daily Mail:

A woman attacked by robbers who targeted lone women has called for the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) to be better monitored after she claims prosecutors handled her case so poorly it felt ‘like being mugged a second time.’

Barbara Cahalane and her sister Patricia were victims of the gang dubbed ‘the Nappy Valley Muggers’ because they targeted women with children in affluent districts of south London.

Ms Calahane said she had to pressure the CPS at every turn to prosecute the gang.  She says that following her experience and recent rows over CPS rulings such as the decision not to prosecute Lord Janner, she believes there should be a watchdog overseeing the work of prosecutors.

Janner has become a symbol of mistrut in high places.

Daily Telegraph: “Parents of autistic man criticise decision to prosecute him – George Ostle’s parents say if Lord Janner was not fit to stand trial then neither was their autistic son who has the mental age of a ten-year-old”

The case:

The parents of an autistic man prosecuted after lashing out at a carer have criticised the Crown Prosecution Service for bringing the case, insisting he should have been treated in the same way as Lord Janner. George Ostle, 22, was found guilty of striking a female care worker at his residential home after becoming distressed and confused following a change in his medical routine. But his parents said he should never have been charged because he has a mental age of ten and was unable to understand to legal process.

Not the same thing at all. Janner is ruled to be no risk to anyone.

Such are the facts…

Posted: 11th, May 2015 | In: Politicians, Reviews | Comment


Teacher demands students take exam naked

san diego naked

 

“It’s just wrong,” says the mother of a student at University of California, San Diego. “Is this the memory that my daughter’s going to carry with her for the rest of her life? It bothers me. I’m not sending her to school for this. How terrible. This sucks. This is just wrong. And to blanketly say you must be naked in order to pass my class, it makes me sick to my stomach.”

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Posted: 11th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


That interview with Russell Brand made me realise how stupid the Left think we are

Russell BRand Independent

 

Everything you needed to know about how stupid the high-brow newspapers think tabloid readers, everyone on the web and the youth are is encapsulated in an Independent headline.

This interview with Russell Brand could well win Ed Miliband the next General Election

Undaunted by the glaringly obvious conclusion that Russell Brand’s influence over the electorate is on a par with John Snow’s socks, the Indy tells its readers that Ed Miliband’s walk through his home echo chamber really mattered to the more go-head members of society:

Ed Miliband’s attempt to break the log jam by making a late-night dash to Russell Brand’s flat was the one moment which left traditional media flat-footed. His interview on Brand’s Trews YouTube channel has been watched by 1.2 million people, many of whom would never consider watching Newsnight.

How many of those 1.2 million were journalists on the social media news beat is possibly in the high hundreds of thousands. And mention of the BBC’s post-Jeremy Paxman, post- Jimmy Savile Newsnight is apt. That show’s desperation to attract a younger audience also featured the preening, anti-intellectual Brand, this time talking with the show’s Evan Davis.

It was an excruciating verbal dad-dance of BBC-sanctioned rebellion.

Brendan O’Neill saw it all:

Hilariously, the very same people who accuse the Murdoch papers of brainwashing their readers into voting for the Tories – such undiluted snobbery – believed that a celeb with a webcam and a lively Twitter presence could simply click his fingers and get the hordes voting Labour. But he couldn’t. And it isn’t hard to see why. It’s because people aren’t idiots. They want substance, seriousness, not finger-wagging gags about EVIL TORIES and instructions to ‘save Britain’ by giving the nod to Ed.

Forget middle-aged, middle-brow, David Icke-lite Russell Brand. The cool-hunting adults should invite Jake Yapp on instead – he’s cheaper and funnier:

 

Posted: 11th, May 2015 | In: Celebrities, Politicians, Reviews | Comment


Transfer Balls: Chelsea offer £40m and £21m for Manchester United target Koke

Transfer balls: How much is Koke worth and are Chelsea or Manchester City or Manchester United going to sign him?

The Sun says Chelsea’s are in pole position to spend £40million on Atletico Madrid’s Koke. They are ahead of Manchester City, who also fancy him to replace Yaya Toure. Oh, and Manchester United are also “long-term admirers” of the Spain player.

But why are Chelsea more likely to sign him? The Sun says:

Chelsea are in the box seat as they did business with Atletico last summer, landing both striker Diego Costa and full-back Filipe Luis from the Spanish outfit.

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Posted: 10th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Kent mother unhappy about son’s ‘bullet through head’ homework question

Test kent school murder

 

Alex Garrod’s 11-year-old son Harry was asked to respond to an unusual homework question delivered by Eastchurch Primary School in Sheerness. His mother tells Kent Online of the puzzler that requried Harry to complete sentences using ‘I’ and ‘me’:

“He was sitting at the table doing his work when he said, ‘Oh my God, look at this’. I was shocked. I thought, ‘Am I reading this correctly?’ The question stated ‘Hand … the money before … put a bullet through your head.’ Because Harry had to put ‘I’ and ‘me’ in the sentence it was as though he was writing as himself. There’s thousands of more appropriate sentences they could have used for the test. Teachers are really busy, and proofreading homework sheets isn’t something they should be doing as these are pre-prepared test sheets. Afterwards, I did explain to Harry that you don’t need to be putting bullets through people’s heads to get money. He was like, ‘I know that Mum’.”

Not, ‘Me like that, Mum.” Bright lad.

Another question ran:

“When I asked the Scotsman if he enjoyed haggis, he looked at me and said ‘Och …’”

Foch me.

Ms Garrod says:

“I’m not sure if we should even know the answer to that.”

Maybe the ‘Fat lady’ does?

 

Posted: 10th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Florida school principal Krista Morton student interrupted smoking pot with student

Krista Morton, 45, is charged with possession of marijuana. She's the principal at Mavericks High School. The student in the car is a senior at the Palm Springs school.  North Palm Beach Police were called to a parking lot Wednesday around 5:45 p.m. “The caller was unsure but thought that there were people in the back seat engaged in some sort of sexual activity or being attacked,” police said.  When a sergeant knocked on the door, Morton, who has wings tattooed on her lower back, opened it and immediately said, “We're just friends,” according to police. Morton's shirt was unbuttoned, exposing her shoulders and part of her chest, the police department said.  Morton told police she didn't know the male in the car. “She continued to tell me that she had just met him, that she was lonely, she had just picked him up down the street and brought him here to get to know him,” police said.  But, the student, who is 18 years old, admitted she was his principal.  Police could smell “the odor of fresh burnt marijuana coming from inside the vehicle,” the arrest report says. Morton didn't admit to smoking but did say marijuana was smoked in the car. Police found a bag with marijuana, a lighter and rolling papers pushed underneath the back side of the passenger seat. The student also had a grinder, additional lighters and a small screwdriver.  Both Morton and the student were arrested.

The head

 

To Florida, where high school principal Krista Morton has been caught in a car with an 18-year-old student and marijuana – “her shirt was unbuttoned”.

Krista Morton, 45, is charged with possession of marijuana. She’s the principal at Mavericks High School. The student in the car is a senior at the Palm Springs school…

When a sergeant knocked on the [car] door, Morton, who has wings tattooed on her lower back, opened it and immediately said, “We’re just friends,” according to police. Morton’s shirt was unbuttoned, exposing her shoulders and part of her chest, the police department said.

 

Krista Morton

 

Morton didn’t admit to smoking but did say marijuana had been smoked in the car.

Both Morton and the student were arrested for the weed.

Posted: 9th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment


Armed police threaten and arrest man with 666 tattooed on his forehead in church

Holman

 

Here’s a story from Florida to get your teeth into. Michael W. Holman, 44, visited the First Assembly of God Church in Milligan at around 9:15pm last Wednesday. He was making some ungodly noise and apepared to have been drinking. He was “unsteady on his feet”. When asked to leave, he did.

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Posted: 9th, May 2015 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)


Woman delighted to find cocaine in Nature Valley granola bar

Now testing

Now testing

 

Public Health UK take note: granola bars in Texas come with free cocaine.

“It’s a somewhat disturbing case,” says Sgt. Javier Salazar of the San Antonio Police Department. “You think of a child getting a hold of a package that’s got interesting symbols on it, dollar signs in this case, and ingesting something like cocaine that could have a possibly dangerous effect, maybe even deadly on a child.”

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Posted: 8th, May 2015 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment


The Moral Council calls Megara Furie and Mistress R’eal – criminalised by new anti-porn laws

Screen shot 2015-05-07 at 10.29.44

 

The first miscreants to fall foul of the news laws on online pornography are two dominatrix. Their videos feature “heave whipping” and hard and repeated kicks to the genitals. Megara Furie and Mistress R’eal take a bow. The footage breaches the Authority for Television on Demand’s code.

Rule 14 of the Atvod handbook bans video-on-demand services from showing material that would be refused classification by the BBFC (British Board of Film Classification), previously the British Board of Film Censors.  You can read more about their record of censoring things herehere, hereherehere. It’s mixed.

And you can recall the words of Mervyn Griffith-Jones QC.

“Would you approve of your young sons, young daughters – because girls can read as well as boys – reading this book? Is it a book that you would have lying around in your own house? Is it a book that you would even wish your wife or your servants to read?”

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Posted: 7th, May 2015 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment