Sports Category
Sports news, commentary and scores with wit and added value. We compare and contrast the best and worst sports reporting in the mainstream press, blogs, TV and online. We love the English Premier League (Arsenal, Liverpool, Spurs, Manchester United and Manchester City) and all things football but we cover cricket, rugby, the Olympics, tennis, golf, F1 and highlights of the sporting year.
Harry Redknapp On Money And Manchester City
THE World according to Harry Redknapp. For those of you who missed BBC Two’s Lord Sugar Tackles Football, in which the former owner of Spurs spoke to ‘Arry about money and was told “We know nothing about finance, we football managers”, the man tells the papers:
“The man from Abu Dhabi has got so much money, I mean, it isn’t like money to him is it? That’s the key. I know people in the right positions there (at City) who have said ‘Well, the one thing we couldn’t offer was Champions League football.’
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Posted: 10th, May 2011 | In: Sports | Comment (1)
Stoke City And Alan McInally Battle For Stupidity: Arsenal Limp Off
STUPID Watch went to watch Stoke City play Arsenal at the Britannia Stadium. Sky News’s panel of experts managed to mention Aaron Ramsay getting his leg broken in the corresponding fixture last year five times.
Stoke’s fans then up the ante by booing Ramsay for having the temerity to walk again, let alone play football.
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Imogen Thomas Sex Stories: Craig Richards Gets It Off His Shaved Chest
BEFORE the mysterious Premier League footballer, news is that Imogen Thomas, formerly of Big Brother, was, allegedly, shagging Craig Richards. He’s a “former Welsh Sevens Rugby Union international”. And he’s happy to tell the News of The World how Thomas handled his tackle (geddit?).
Lest you think Thomas is the victim in all this, the paper tells us:
And he reveals the full range of Imogen’s seductive skills that tempted the unnamed Premier League idol to cheat on his wife.
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Preston North End Manager Threatens To Shoot Down Blackpool FC Plane
TO Preston, where Phil Brown, the manger of Preston North End Football Club, is trying out as the face of Lancashire terror.
With Preston relegated to Division 1, Brown looks to the skies. He sees a plane towing a banner. It reads:
“WE ARE SUPERIOR LOVE BLACKPOOL FC”
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Queen’s Park Rangers Fans Demand Title Change: Pitch Invasion Photos
QUEEN’S Park Rangers are up into the Premier League, having won the Championship title. And the fans are on the pitch – some of them for the third time in as many weeks. After the drama, one question still troubles Anorak: is it Queen’s Park Rangers, as it should be, or Queens Park Rangers, as the Premier League insists? What is the title..?
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Seve Ballesteros Proved Golf Is Not Just For Elitist Farts: Photos
SEVE Ballesteros RIP. You were the golfer who died on 7th May, 2011. Aged 54.
Didn’t make this cut but always had the balls to stand up and show a prejudiced and elitist golfing establishment their sport could be fun and mass entertainment. – AGW
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Six Gloucester University Rugby Players Caught Wanking On Bus: Nine Others Shame Sport
ANORAK demands to know the identities of the 9 rugby players of the University of Gloucestershire IX who were not performing lewd acts while naked on a public bus.
Anorak commends to your attention team captain Ryan Lissamore, 19, and Oliver Graham, 21, who perfomed dutifully in accordance with Code 43a sub-section 9K of the Rugby Players and Gentleman’s Handbook while on the No 94 service bus, travelling from Cheltenham to Gloucester on the evening of September 20 last year.
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Posted: 6th, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
Armand Masimzhanov Is More Cantona Than Harald Schumacher: The Kung-Fu Footballers
ERIC Cantona, you are nothing. NO. THING. Kazakh footballer Armand Masimzhanov, of Kairat, sees your king-fu kick and raises you this strike against Lokomotiv in the Kazakhstan second division.
At the time of the assault, Kairat were winning 3-2. A bout of handbags had broken out and Masimzhanov targeted Lokomotiv’s Radmir Muksinova.
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Celtic Manager Neil Lennon Talks Balls
CELTIC manager Neil Lennon’s Thought of the Day:
“I wouldn’t really change anything about how I’ve gone about the job. You are what you are.”
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RIP Henry Cooper: A Life In Brilliant Photos
RIP Sir Henry Cooper. He once put Cassius Clay on the seat of this pants. It was Brut strength and no little skill. This was your life – in photos:
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Posted: 1st, May 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
Arsenal Beat Manchester United In Photos: Ferguson Does The Van Cutsem
IS Arsenal’s Robin Van Persie any relation to Grace Van Cutsem, she of the balcony anti-kiss shot? Manchester United’s manager saw Aaron Ramsay’s goal slide in to dent his side’s Premier League challenge, yet still found time to do the Van Cutsem. Do they kiss and hug much in public at Arsenal? No. It’s not Chelsea, for Christ’s sake, where the cuddle and snog has become the done thing among the hard men…
Queen’s Park Rangers’ Second Premature Pitch Invasion: Photos
QUEENS Park Rangers have gained promotion to the Premier League. Adel Taarabt is the hero who took QPR to the top tier after a 15 year hiatus.
But wait a moment. Have they really gone up? Last week against Hull, QPR fans ended up on the pitch in a premature pitch invasion. A late Norwich goal ensured promotion had not yet been secured.
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Orgasm Faces Of The 2011 World Figure Skating Championships: Photos
AFTER those photos of the Ice Skating Karma Sutra turned you and us onto the sport, Anorak was interested to see how the skaters at the 2011 World Figure Skating Championship were getting along. We looked. And what we saw were orgasm faces.
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Jose Mourinho Passes His Spurs Interview
JOSE Mourinho is all set to sign for Spurs. Well, he’s passed his own test with Real Madrid’s performance against Barcelona in the Champions’ League. As he told us in 2004:
“I would have been frustrated if I had been a supporter who paid £50 to watch this game because Spurs came to defend. I’m really frustrated because there was only one team looking to win, they only came not to concede – it’s not fair for the football we played.”
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Europe Wins As Manchester United Laugh Off Shalke: Photos
MANCHESTER United march on in the Champions’ League. Their opponents Schalke are left with memories. The German club’s fans get a match day programme that features observations on the English.
The notes says Schalke supporters will identify visiting fans from Manchester because they are all called Paul and carry a set of darts in their shirt pockets.
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Kick The Language Police Out Of Football: Spurs’ Yid Army Empowers London’s White Niggers
A NEW campaign to stamp out the use of the word “Yid“, meaning Jew in Yiddish, from English football will do nothing to combat anti-Semitism. Instead, it will undermine football fans’ freedom to form and define their own group identities while hindering real prejudice from being identified and challenged.
The Jewish comedian David Baddiel and his brother Ivor, both Chelsea fans, have directed a video together with Kick Racism out of Football in which some top British players castigate Tottenham Hotspur fans and their opponents for using “the Y-word” in terrace chants. The Baddiels want to make “the Y-word” as socially unacceptable as “the N-word” and “the P-word”. In the video, former footballer Gary Lineker explains that “back in the 1930s and forties, Jewish people all over Europe were being rounded up and killed. People called them Yids.”
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Posted: 22nd, April 2011 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (4)
Badminton 2011 Photos: Piggy French And Frog-Faced Germans
CAN it really be a year since the last Mitsubishi Motors Badminton Horse Trials? Our calendar says it must be – and Cliff Richard is never wrong.
The star of Day One was undoubtedly a cherubic-cheeked vision in Comfi-Slacks and cardigown called “Piggy French”. She was being handled by Jakata.
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Robot Writes Better Sports Report Than Sports Reporter
NPR writes on the software programme (a kind of robot) that wrote a better sports report than a sports reporter.
You feed it data, it processes that data, and it spits out a news story putting those numbers you gave it into context — just like you’d see in your local newspaper.
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Does Blackburn Rovers El Hadji Diouf Hold Key To Peace And War In Libya?
BLACKBURN Rovers winger El Hadji Diouf, now on loan at Glasgow Rangers, tells Algerian magazine Le Buteur:
“Gaddafi is a man I’ve always admired. I’m telling the truth. I know him and I know Seif, his son. They are my friends. But frankly I don’t really know what is happening in Libya, but it must be very hard for Gaddafi and his family. I say that, Inch’Allah (Allah willing) victory will go to whoever is right.
“I don’t know who is right and who is wrong but it’s a shame to see so many victims.”
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Posted: 20th, April 2011 | In: Sports | Comments (3)
Where Did It All Go Wrong for Michael Phelps?
WHAT news of bongtastic Olympic gold medal winning swimming champion Michael Phelps?
Well, if you win a gold medal in the pool, you stay in the pool – albeit at the Encore Beach Club, Las Vegas, surrounded by swim fans keen to stroke backs and more besides…
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Rio Ferdinand Tackles Alleged Stalker Susanne Ibru
MANCHESTER United footballer Rio Ferdinand was at Macclesfield Magistrates’ Court where Susanne Ibru is charged with his harassment.
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Helen Wood And The Boiling Kettle: Wayne Rooney Named In Sex And Guns Story
HELEN Wood remains “ROO’S TART” on the cover of the Daily Star. Whereas Wayne Rooney has been petted with “Rooney”, “Roon” and “Wayne”, Wood, a woman who appears to be honest about her former profession (she claims to be no longer working as a prostitute) is a “TART” and a “HOOKER” – her billing always proceed by an emphasis to the charmless England footballer.
The latest non story about Wood is that she is to be scared stupid or worse – yesterday we read of her claims to have shagged all manner of professional types: judge, copper, footballer (Chelsea and Man United), actor, politician, “VIP”. She has so far declined to name any of them.
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London Marathon 2011 In Photos: One Wedding And No Funerals
THE London Marathon 2011 in photos, featuring Katrina Scaife and Andrew Ford’s wedding, loadsa celebs and pictures of runners all set to lose their toenails and get a gong that says they did it…
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Wayne Rooney’s Hooker Helen Wood Shags Chelsea Star And Darth Vader
HELEN Wood says she “bedded” Wayne Rooney’s teammate at Manchester United.
As ever Wood is not named but given a Rooney-related title. The NoTW says on its front page:
“WAYNE HOOKER TELLS ALL.”
We know her to be Helen Wood, and she will tell us that she has shagged “Roon’s Man U team-mate, a Chelsea star, 3 actors, a judge, a politician, top cop & a VIP!”.
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Manchester City Beat Manchester United In FA Cup Photos: The Banner Is No Dead Yet
MANCHESTER City have beaten Manchester United in the semi-final of the FA Cup. As United’s fans make their way home from Wembley on the London Underground, City fans journey back north wondering if this is the year that banner is put away. You know the banner. It’s the one at Old Trafford that ticks over each year City go without a trophy.
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