Credit Crunch | Anorak

Posts Tagged ‘Credit Crunch’

Credit Crunch Watch: Naomi Campbell, Pregnant Sex And The Specials

CREDIT Crunch watch: Naomi Campbell, pregnant sex and The Specials

Moscow Naomi

Supermodel Naomi Campbell is feeling the pinch after her fella’s fortune was slashed by the credit crunch.

Naomi, we learn, has “settled in Moscow” with tycoon Vladislav Doronin.

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Posted: 24th, February 2009 | In: Money | Comment

Alex Curran’s Top Five WAGs Credit Crunch Tips

THE credit crunch is affecting Alex Gerrard, Wag to Stephen Gerrard, the slippery-footed Liverpool captain.
News is that Alex has cut down on her spending and only visits the hairdressers twice a week.

Says Alex:

“I think people – especially WAGs – are becoming more conscious of spending money now.”

And you can learn from them as Anorak brings you the Top Five WAG Credit Crunch Tips:

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Posted: 10th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The Credit Crunch Musical, With Dead GIs

THE credit crunch set to music, with the Dead GIs:

Posted: 6th, February 2009 | In: Money | Comment

The British High Street For Sale

“FOR SALE,” says the Indy’s front page, “The British High Street.”

Anorak has walked down the local high street and done and inventory of the kind of stock your money can buy.

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Posted: 6th, February 2009 | In: Money | Comments (4)

Hollywoood Celebrities React To Recession: Longoria Wears Dress Twice

IN Hollywood the recession is starting to bite. Kark Lagerfeld offers tips to surviving the downturn. But they might not be enough:

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Posted: 5th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Karl Lagerfeld’s Credit Crunch Survival Tips

KARL Lagerfeld has a new range of clothing:

“Mr. Lagerfeld said he cut the VIP section to create ‘equality in an unfair world.'”

His minimalist clothes for Chanel were inspired by white paper, and embodied what he terms “New Modesty.” After the show, he implored everybody to “stop crying” over the slowdown.

Lagerfeld’s new range is inspired by the credit cruch, with those choppy falling graph lines ideally suited to silk and the hem of his haute couture range of evening ware and safari pyjamas.

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Posted: 3rd, February 2009 | In: Money | Comment

Credit Crunch Watch: Selfridges Bites

CREDIT Crunch Watch: Anorak’s look at the credit crunch in the news: Selfridges chocolcate bites:

“Exclusive to Selfridges the ‘Credit Crunch’ has been created through collaboration between restaurateur and good writer Laura Santini and The Chocolate Society. ‘Credit Crunch’ is a more-ish marriage of the very best velvet-rich Valrhona chocolate, thickly coated over hokey pokey honeycomb pieces. It is available either in dark or milk Valrhona chocolate (£3.99 for a £150g bag).”

– Press release

Posted: 8th, January 2009 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comment

The Top Five Jobs For Philosophers

PHILOSPHERS are feeling the credit crunch:

“The scuttlebutt among APA’s roughly 550 job-seekers was that more than 10 percent of 300-plus advertised positions may have been canceled. Morris, in his second year in the philosophy job market and handsomely outfitted in suit and ponytail, remained upbeat, even playful. ‘I’m single, good-looking, athletic, 6-4, my phone number is….’ he joked into a reporter’s tape recorder. Asked where he’d be willing to go to teach philosophy, he replied, ‘Anywhere on the planet. Anywhere at all. Whether or not I get paid. To tell you the truth,’ he quickly added, ‘the only thing that could push me out of philosophy is the student loans I’ve accrued.'”

Saya Ann Althouse:

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Posted: 3rd, January 2009 | In: Money | Comments (3)

Germany Rejoices As Britain Hits The Shops, China Closes

“BRITAIN IN SALES FRENZY,” screams the Daily Express from its front page. We’re going crazy for shopping!

“Crowds flood highstreet sales,” screeches the Sun.

“Nine out of 10 shoppers plan to cut spending in New Year,” yells the Guardian’s man in the sandwich board on Oxford Street. “Repent!”

“Stores besieged as thousands cash in on credit crunch,” belches the Scotsman.

“Stampede for sales as shops fear worst”, thunders the Times.

“Germany rejoices,” says Der Bild. “Zousands of Britishers flock to shops to buy our dishvashers, toasters, beer, knives, cars, TVs and superior bathroom fittings.

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Posted: 27th, December 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1)

Crunch Break: Coronation Street Stars Told To Eat On Camera

TOUGH times at ITV where Coronation Street’s players are being denied free use of the burger bus.

It’s the “CREDIT LUNCH”, says the Star. The “Corrie Munch Crunch,” says the Sun.

Of course, soaps are an extension of what for many passes for real life, and while the news is grim for the jobbing across, Betty is advised to go long of lamb and Roy’s Rolls is looking to expand into event catering…

Posted: 18th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Parents Snap Up Crap Presents At Woolworths Sale

THANKS to the cruncher of Woolworths, millions of kiddies will be getting crappy presents this year.

Says one shopper:

“I hadn’t been in Woollies for years. But now I know it to be full of the kind of crap you give people you don’t like all that much.”

Indeed, many teacher this year will not be getting a bottle of alcopops and a Terry’s chocolate orange, but a tin of Fox’s biscuits, a water pistol that fires jets as far as three inches and a DVD of Len Goodman’s ‘Dance To Cliff’…

“Everything must Go-Go-Go,” says Santa…

Posted: 15th, December 2008 | In: Money | Comments (3)

The X-Factor: Anthea Turner Goes Down

ALEXANDRA Burke is the “£10million winner” (Mail) of TV’s X Factor, and makes real the “£1m dream” (Mirror).

To her go the spoils of recording contract, to be called the “new Leona Lewis” and to sing a warbling cover version of Little Drummer Boy.

But for every winner there must be a loser, and the Mail brings the associated front-page news that Anthea Turner is a “100m LOSER”.

Anthea Turner weeps as she reveals she might lose her £5million mansion in the credit crunch.

Says the woman who lent her hair to X Factor hopeful Eoghan Quigg:

I don’t think a £5million mansion makes you happy.

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Posted: 15th, December 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Credit Crunch Forces DJ To Sell Gold Teeth

CREDIT CRUNCH watch: filling in the blanks with DJ Talent…

DJ Anthony Ghosh, aka DJ Talent, is selling his teeth.

“Records aren’t really shifting these days,” says the 30-year-old the electro house DJ. “It’s been like this for a couple of months now and it’s not getting any better.”


“It’s more downloads everyone’s interested in, so the music industry is taking a drop.”

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Posted: 12th, December 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1)

The Expandable Christmas Stocking

CREDIT Crunch watch: The expandable Chritmas stocking for all your present needs:

Children will get HALF as much in their stockings this Christmas – as the credit crunch bites

But on the bright side, Anorak spots the expandable Christmas stocking.

Fill ‘er up, Santa…


Posted: 12th, December 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (3)

Alexa Chung Does The Credit Crunch

CREDIT Crunch watch: Anorak’s look at credit crunch in the news, Alexa Chung waits…

Looks like even fashion icon Alexa Chung is feeling the credit crunch. Despite dating mega-rich Arctic Monkey Alex Turner, the T4 presenter and ex-model waited for hours at the Mulberry sale in the West End3am Girls, Daily Mirror

More breathless credit crunch news to follow…

Posted: 27th, November 2008 | In: Money | Comments (4)

Credit Crunch Watch: Bad For Mistresses

CREDIT Crunch watch: Anorak’s look at credit crunch in the news

Wealthy men cut gifts to mistresses during financial crisis – Wealthy businessmen who keep extramarital lovers plan to cut back on presents and payments to their mistresses in the economic downturn, a new survey shows – Daily Telegraph

Being f****** by the Government is, after all expensive enough…

A Good Stuffing: Gordon Ramsay’s Naked Lunch

Posted: 25th, November 2008 | In: Money | Comment (1)

Credit Crunch: No Christmas Trees For You Girls

CREDIT Crunch watch: Anorak’s look at credit crunch in the news

“Many are expected to opt for small, cheap firs as they try to beat the credit crunch”Daily Express

“Vicky Tuck, president of the Girls’ Schools Association, said she found the economic downturn ‘bracing’ and hoped it would lead to the end of the unfulfilling materialistic ‘me, me, me society” – Daily Mail

Tuck is the heads of Cheltenham Ladies’ College. Fees on application.

Posted: 19th, November 2008 | In: Money | Comments (2)

The Perfect Credit Crunch Retreat

CREDIT Crunch Watch: Anorak’s look at credit crunch in the news…

YOURS for $189,000…

With built in wood burning stove, bed, sofa…

Posted: 3rd, November 2008 | In: Money, Photojournalism | Comments (4)

Credit Crunch Watch: Wooden Headstones

CREDIT Crunch Watch: Anorak’s look at credit crunch in the news…

“Grieving families are turning to wooden headstones in a bid to beat the credit crunch” – Lancashire Evening Post”

Thinks of the trees!

Spotter – AGW

Posted: 1st, November 2008 | In: Money | Comments (3)

Rocky Times: Garfield Beats The Credit Crunch

CREDIT Crunch. What – he-he – credit crunch? In Rocky Mountain they’ve got the funnies:

Garfield is coming home to the Rocky Mountain News. By popular demand, the comic strip featuring the fat cat will reclaim a spot in the Rocky’s lineup Monday.

More than 2,000 readers wrote, e-mailed and called our comics hot line after the strip was dropped.

Many Garfield fans told us that in these troubled times, they counted on the comic relief of their longtime favorite strip.

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Posted: 30th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

Shoplifters For Bad Credit

CREDIT Crunch news of the day: fill your boots…

“Shoplifting is at record levels and is set to soar even further thanks to the credit crunch” – Daily Express

Can you shoplift from your own bank?

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Money | Comment

Credit Crunch: Too Poor To Die

CREDIT Crunch news of the day: eat the dead…


Some are being burnt. Other are being buried at sea. Leglstive bodies walk zombie-like into the night…

Posted: 12th, October 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids | Comment

Gabby Logan Applauds The Credit Crunch

CREDIT Crunch news of the day: Gabby Logan on the joys of poverty

“But I believe that the credit squeeze is going to be good for grassroots sport and therefore good for all of us in the long run – as long as we do not end up homeless” – Gabby Logan, The Times

So Gabby…:

Aside from a property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?

Paintings – the most I’ve spent on one was £7,000.

More credit crunch insight as it comes in…

Posted: 10th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comments (5)

Bruce Springsteen Loses House In Credit Crunch

BRUCE Springsteen has lost his house in the credit crunch:

Mr. Springsteen likened the country to a house that needs rebuilding: “I don’t know about you, but I want my house back…” – NY Times

The Boss is on the streets…

Posted: 6th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Money | Comment

Those Credit Crunch Discounts In Full

CREDIT Crunch biting? No fear. Shop around for discounts…

Posted: 4th, October 2008 | In: Money, Politicians | Comments (2)