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Posts Tagged ‘dead’

British man was right to build a patio from children’s gravestones

Now twinned with 'Bob'

Now twinned with ‘Bob’

In a story grim enough to satisfy our lust to find a daily hate figure we read of “millionaire” Kim Davies, who created a patio from headstones stolen from children’s graves at a neglected chapel in Llechryd, South Wales.

The Daily Mail:

Kim Davies, 60, took tombstones from a derelict chapel and cemented them to the walls of Llanwenarth House in Abergavenny, South Wales, where Cecil Frances Alexander penned the famous hymn.

Newport Crown Court heard how planners were horrified when they saw the ‘decorative stone plaques’ had been used as part of a gaudy £1m makeover to the Grade II-listed home, turning it into a ‘palace for an Iron Curtain dictator’.

One of the 150-year-old gravestones was even engraved with the names of three brothers and a sister who all died while under the age of four.

The wealthy businessman also used some of the graves as flagstones for a patio which he built at the £2.2m country mansion. It means children are now lying in unmarked graves at the disused Soar-y-Graig Non Conformist chapel in the village of Llechryd.

All pretty disgusting. But, you could argue – but we won’t – that he at least put the dead’s post-life chattles to some use. In London, property prices are so dear that even the dead can’t afford the rent.

The Spectator reported in 2015:

Two marble graves are side by side. One is grey and encrusted, with moss growing over the top. The other is smooth and shiny white. It looks new but, in fact, like the grave next to it, it’s more than 100 years old. It’s not just been cleaned — its top layer has been shaved off completely. On its front are potted plants, hydrangeas and a can of Guinness. These are tributes to its new resident.

Its old resident, Robert John, died in 1894. His inscription is still there, on the back of the headstone. His remains are there, too, if they haven’t disappeared into the soil.

John’s grave is among 700 or so that have been re-used, or ‘shared’, in the City of London Cemetery and Crematorium in east London. They are all at least 75 years old. Any remains that are found are put in a hessian sack and reburied. A chatty porter admits it’s ‘a bit controversial’. ‘Not everyone is happy with it,’ he says.

The City of London explains how studio flats graves work:

If you have visited the City of London Cemetery and Crematorium recently, you may have seen that we have some beautiful older and more traditional grave areas. These graves are often located in primary areas and have stunning memorials, and many of the graves within them have leases that are now extinguished.

The City of London Cemetery and Crematorium have a Heritage Programme that conserves the traditional heritage of these grave areas, but allows new families to lease existing graves and re-use the monuments already on them.

This gives you the option of perhaps obtaining a more substantial grave whilst preserving the history of our site.

​As you can see from the pictures, the memorials are completely renovated and brought back to their former beauty. If a family decides to lease a grave in one of these areas, the memorial will be turned around leaving the original inscription on the reverse. This reveals a blank surface for the new lease holders to have there own inscription engraved on the headstone.

Some of the graves in this area have no memorial in place, allowing the new lease holders to purchase one of their own choice. 

Now that you’re dead and you hurry up and decompose a little faster?

Spotter: BoingBoing, Disinfo

Posted: 20th, August 2015 | In: Reviews, Strange But True | Comment

Gravedigger Poses For Photo With Nephew Of Rotting Corpse He’s Dug Up



TO a cemetery in Guardamar del Segura, near Alicante on Spain’s Costa Blanca, where the a man’s body has been exhumed. The man, who we’ll call Bernie, is being replanted to lie for eternity alongside his newly departed wife. Overseeing the unearthing are the man’s niece and nephew. The body emerges for the hole its been in for 23 years.

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Posted: 13th, September 2014 | In: Reviews | Comment

Your favourite rock star is probably about to die

WE’RE getting to a special time in rock ‘n’ roll where the pantheon of Peter Pans is looking more mortal than ever. The music of the babyboomers is finally creaking with age.

Lennon, Joplin, Redding and Gaye all had the decency to die young, thereby making them immortal. The babyboomers did not feel worried. We’re the rock ‘n’ roll generation! That’s exactly the kind of exciting thing that happens to us! I HOPE I DIE BEFORE I GET OLD, MAN! Just like Keith Moon! Just like Brian Jones!

All the while, the rest of rock ‘n’ roll survived and got old. Just For Men, Facelifts and increasingly younger partners plastered over the cracks in the wall.

Then everyone started dying of old age.

Initially, Syd Barrett and Arthur Lee left and the babyboomers (and their kids) all felt bad, but brushed it all off with “well, they had a pretty crazy life! It was always going to catch up with them at some point! Shine on you crazy diamonds!”

And now everyone is dropping like flies. The sheer volume of dying rockstars over the past decade has been astonishing. Not a week goes by without someone tweeting RIP to one of their favourite musicians dying. They’re all in the 60s and 70s now. They’re old. There’s no escaping it.

This week, Ramones drummer Tommy Ramone shrugged off his mortal coil, leaving zero original Ramones left. Even punk is getting old. No-one is safe.

Of course, there’s a good number of rockstar legends knocking around the circuit, such as Mick ‘n’ Keef, Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, but there’s something gnawing at the back of fans’ brains about their idols.

They’re nearly dead.

This weekend, fans in the UK watched Neil Young roll back the years. The sad fact is, that is statistically likely to be the last time they see him in person. Neil Young may have said that it is better to burn out than fade away, but fade away he will – he’s not got long left.

The babyboomers are going to watch every single one of their idols die. The Woodstock Generation… the Mods… the dadrockers… for the first time in their lives, they’re faced with the very real possibility of every single thing they like turning into compost before their eyes. And with them will go their own youth.

We’re in the middle of rock music’s retirement, with only bands like The Black Keys, Jack White and Arctic Monkeys still clinging on to the old fashioned idea of ‘rock ‘n’ roll’ to be played in huge stadiums, revering the blues.

This all sounds desperately negative, but if you want to cherish these acts, do it now. Watch their final flings and roll around in nostalgia because, like it or not, the people who invented the teenager, the people that shaped what popular music could achieve, are all this close to joining the choir invisible.

Magazine will beatify these men and women, but soon, they’ll stop being in the present, and soon become very much of the past. And that, for the true spirit of rock ‘n’ roll, is incredibly exciting indeed.

Posted: 14th, July 2014 | In: Music | Comment

United States fakes the return of its Vietnem War dead in ceremonies

coffins us

THE US military has been faking repatriation ceremonies for dead American servicemen killed in Vietnam or the Second World War. The coffins paraded before the Press and the respectful veterans and weeping relatives contain soldiers’ remains that arrived weeks earlier to be processed in forensic labs and identified.

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Posted: 11th, October 2013 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

Virgin charge man £10 for being dead


VIRGIN MEDIA have had to tug at their sweater and say sorry after they sent a bill to a dead man. Initially, Virgin were unhappy that the man had missed his broadband bill date, and promptly sent him a late payment bill… however… they also included the word ‘deceased’ on it, which suggests they knew he’d already joined the invisible choir.

The bill was uploaded to Facebook by the man’s son-in-law Jim Boyden and reads: “D.D Denied-Payer deceased“. Virgin added a “late payment charge” of £10 for being dead.

“We obviously apologise for the bill and have spoken to Mr Boyden to bring this account to a close more sensitively,” a spokesperson told BBC News.

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Posted: 26th, April 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment

Danny Boyle: The Olympic spirit is dead

London Olympics Opening Ceremony

SUMMER seems so long ago now, while we all stand at 45 degree angles in the howling wind, sodden by relentless sheets of dreadful rain. There was a time when the sun was out, the Tour De France was being amazing, Wimbledon was on and the Olympics rolled into town.

For a brief moment, a nation was united by the relief that London didn’t mess up the Olympic Games.

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Posted: 22nd, March 2013 | In: Sports | Comment

Circus magazine asks ‘Will they survice the 70s?’

IT’S February 1970, and Circus magazine has a question:


Posted: 19th, August 2012 | In: Flashback | Comment

Miley Cyrus: Not dead, but owner of serious sideboob

WHAT a week it has been for Miley Cyrus. Firstly, we got the chance to see her sideboob in a photo that was leaked online showing the mercifully legal singer naked, in the bath and now, she’s not dead! She’s probably most thrilled about the ‘being alive’ thing.

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Posted: 3rd, August 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Eddie Murphy: Still not dead

JACKIE Chan, Vanilla Ice, Miley Cyrus, David Beckham, Jon Bon Jovi, Lady GaGa and Will Smith all have something in common with Eddie Murphy.

They’re not dead.

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Posted: 25th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Gordon Ramsay and Will Ferrell regrettably not dead

TWO of the most hateful humans to ever evolve from apes, Gordon Ramsay and Will Ferrell, played in a charity football match last night and we’re sad to report that neither of them are dead.

Ferrell limped off the pitch, presumably after injuring his severely under-employed funny bone. However, it was Ramsay who looked closest to joining the great choir invisible after he was removed from the pitch after a run in with former England player Teddy Sheringham.

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Posted: 29th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

Steve Buscemi Is Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead, Dead…

STEVE Buscemi is dead…dead…dead…dead…dead…

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Posted: 26th, October 2011 | In: Film | Comment

Colonel Gaddafi’s Death Video: He Died Years Ago

WHEN a celebrity dies, everyone becomes a joker don’t they? That, or they turn into blubbing, sensitive wail-bags. Of course, both are equally irritating and understandable.

So when Colonel Gaddafi got his body killed until the brains died, everyone laughed, wrung their hands and spat at the front covers of newspapers featuring his cadaver. Which did look a bit like Gene Simmons in a Shalamar wig in fairness. It’s hard not to make jokes when faced with that.

Either way, no matter how quick you thought you were with your wheezes, someone beat you to it by decades.

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Posted: 21st, October 2011 | In: Politicians | Comment

Hugh Hefner Says He’s Not Dead – World Still Not Entirely Convinced

PLAYBOY founder and all-round oxygen thief  Hugh Hefner has pooh-poohed rumours he’s dead, declaring: “I’m very much alive and kicking!

However, people are still uncertain and are inundating the heart-broken old coot with requests to poke him with a stick just to see if there’s any movement.

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Posted: 12th, July 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Ryan Dunn, of Jackass, Dead at 34

URGH. This is rubbish news to relay. The most likeable of the Jackass crew, Ryan Dunn, has died in a car crash in Pennsylvania early this morning, according to reports.

The story was confirmed with Bam Margera’s mother, Bam of course, being Dunn’s cousin and Jackass colleague.

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Posted: 20th, June 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Teen Singing ‘Throb, Sean Kingston, Critical After Tackling Bridge On Jetski With Head

ADULTS may not be familiar with the name Sean Kingston, but the rampant childbots of the internet are. They love him. They love him a bit like they love Justin Bieber, but not as much because Bieber is much thinner and whiter than Sean Kingston.

Either way, he capture the hearts of youngsters with his hit, ‘Beautiful Girls’, where the junior crooner declared that they made him feel “suicidal“, which is peculiar for a young man with all that life of beautiful girls ahead of him.

However, here comes the awkward twist. See, Kingston is in a critical condition after crashing his jet ski into a Miami Beach bridge. Sean and a female passenger were injured when they careered into the Palm Island Bridge over the weekend.

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Posted: 31st, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment

Cake-Munching Undertakers Leave Corpse In A Supermarket Teacup Storm

IN search of outrage, we hear of the three undertakers who “left a corpse in a coffin in supermarket car park – while they went in the cafe for a cup of tea.”

The SWNS report is accompanied by a photo of two tight-lipped women with arms akimbo. They are Karen Plant, 53, and her daughter Liz, 28. They “were so shocked they stormed into the cafe and confronted the undertakers”.

Anorak wonders if storming into a supermarket to accost undertakers is in itself offensive. What happened to doffing one’s cap and keeping a respectful silence?

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Posted: 13th, April 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comments (6)

Man Finds Dead Monster In Monster Energy Drink

TO DES Moins, where Vitaliy Sulzhik opens his Monster Energy Drink to find a dead mouse inside. While it’s no monster, the mouse is close enough to suggest that the drink delivers exactly what is promises on the can.

Mr Sulzhik is suing the beverage makers. But he should reconsider. After all, what could invigorate you more than opening a restorative drink to find a horror within?

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Posted: 31st, March 2011 | In: The Consumer | Comment

Burning Dead Bodies To Heat Redditch Swimming Baths

THERE are plans to use waste heat from the local Crematorium in Redditch to heat the local swimming pool, writes Yampster.

The debate is raging on the Facebook pages of both Redditch and Bromsgrove Standards as to whether it is a good idea. General consensus in Bromsgrove is that it should be switched off while they are cremating paedophiles in case there are children in the pool.

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Posted: 21st, January 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment

London Woman Sits Dead On Sofa As Estate Agent Shows Her House

SAMUEL Allfort, of Marsh and Parsons, is showing the clients around the home of 55-year-old Katherine Frame who is dead on the sofa.

The estate agent gives the grand tour of home Treadgold Street, Kensington. Miss Frame is in the lounge.

Allfort sees the clients to the door. He notices that Mrs Frame has turned a “yellow-ish” colour. He tells Westminster Coroners’ Court that “something wasn’t right“.

“I called an ambulance which arrived almost instantly, and the ambulance man soon told me that she had passed away.”

Assistant Deputy Coroner Dr Andrew Barton concludes:

“I conclude that this was natural causes exacerbated by chronic excessive alcohol ingestion.”

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Posted: 17th, September 2010 | In: Reviews | Comment

Man Eaten To Death By Maggots In His Bed

IN, Vienna, Austria a man has been eaten alive by maggots in his bed. The 61-year-old slept by his 34-year-old wife.

The man, paralysed for several years following a stroke, had, as police say, not wanted to be washed for a long time.

The maggots had partly devoured his back.

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Posted: 29th, July 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comments (9)