Jamie Oliver | Anorak

Posts Tagged ‘Jamie Oliver’

Jamie Oliver’s Blitzkrieg on your pizzas

Oi, fatso. Make that, oi, fatso suspect – put that box of fried chicken down and step away. News is that Britain needs to go on a diet – and it’s not one of lard, dripping and sugar. Public Health England (PHE) chief executive Duncan Selbie tells us: “Children and adults routinely eat too many calories, and it’s why so many are overweight or obese.”

If you eat more than you need you get fatter. Who knew?


Jamie Oliver knows more about you than you do


But what does it have to do with him? Lots, apparently. PHE says all fast food should contain 20 per cent less calories. PHE says if we don’t do as it wants us to, it will ask the government to re-introduce rationing. It won’t happen? You sure about that? The tax on sugary drinks is introduced next month.

Dr Alison Tedstone, PHE chief nutritionist, adds: “The evidence is clear that just telling people what to do won’t work. To reverse what’s been decades in the making, we need sustained action across the factors driving poor diets and weight gain.”


The British Minister for Food between April 1940 and 11 November 1943, Lord Woolton, receiving a cup of tea from a mobile canteen.

The British Minister for Food between April 1940 and 11 November 1943, Lord Woolton, receiving a cup of tea from a mobile canteen.


It’s Woolton Pie for all, you know, the pastry dish of vegetables dished up to suffering Britons in the Second World War when rationing was a necessity for all but the rich and royal. Frederick Marquis, 1st Lord Woolton (1883–1964), gave full throat to his love of the low-everything dish after he became Minister of Food in 1940. Was it liked? The Times noted that Woolton went full Jamie Oliver:

When Woolton pie was being forced on somewhat reluctant tables, Lord Woolton performed a valuable service by submitting to the flashlight camera at public luncheons while eating, with every sign of enjoyment, the dish named after him

And right on cue is our Own Minister of Fat Jamie Oliver to tell The Times: “When you get trapped in the disadvantaged cycle, the concept of middle-class logic doesn’t work. What you see is parents who aren’t even thinking about five fruit and veg a day, they’re thinking about enough food for the day… We can’t judge our equivalent of logic on theirs because they’re in a different gear, almost in a different country.”

Poor of taste and poor of intellect. Let’s colonise these cultural pygmies now. These Untermensch need schooling with new laws and restrictions. Thankfully, the minted Oliver and his elite sponsors will invade zis other country and teach the Britishers vat ist best fur zem. Grab your vegetables and zet zer blender to Blitzkerig! It’s war.


Posted: 12th, March 2018 | In: News | Comment

Jamie Oliver’s sugar tax pushes lazy eaters to fruit juices

Jamie Oliver has fiddled with food every since Tony Blair realised the chef was popular on the telly and grabbed him for a conflab. Oliver has been raging against sugar for some time now. But signs are that it’s not working:

Jamie Oliver’s 10p tax on sugary drinks sold in his Italian restaurants has resulted in a significant drop in sales, a study has found.

Oliver gathers up all the 10ps and invests them in “food education and water fountains in schools”. He’s a food colonialist teaching the slack-jawed and sugar-toothed how to drink from a standpipe and worry about food. Sod the toque blanche and get the lad a pith helmet.

Now the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health tells us that sugar-sweetened drinks flogged in Jamie’s Italian-style eateries fell 11% in the first 12 weeks of the levy. At the end of six months, sales were 9.3% lower than before the tax was brought in.

The odd bit is that fruit juice sales were up 22 per cent – you know, those pricey drinks packed full of sugar.

The study, however, does not tell us how Jamie’s faux Italian outlets have fared as a whole over that period. I did have the misfortune to visit Jamie’s Italian at Gatwick Airport just the other week, and can reveal that his cooked breakfast (‘The Full Monty’) was greasy, unsatisfying, badly presented (it came on an oily skillet), mean (3 nasty little mushrooms; two splats of cherry tomatoes; a drool of beans; two undercooked sausages; innersole bacon; charred squares of potato; missing onions; a dry slice of black pudding; and poached eggs that were well cooked but trimmed to the size of tic-tacs) and expensive (£10.25).

Professor Susan Jebb of University of Oxford tells the Times, Jamie’s experiment was “encouraging news for public health ahead of the introduction of the soft drink industry levy”.

Oh, and this:

Jamie Oliver is to close six of his Italian restaurants after tough trading and the “pressures and unknowns” following the Brexit vote.

Oliver intends to close Jamie’s Italian restaurants in Aberdeen, Exeter, Cheltenham, Richmond, Tunbridge Wells and Ludgate Hill, near London’s St Paul’s Cathedral, by the end of the first quarter of the year.

Blame Brexit, then. Easy.

Posted: 18th, October 2017 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, The Consumer | Comment

Jamies Oliver names his fifth child after a vegetable

river rocket oliver

‘Leaf me alone!’

Jamie’s Oliver’s fifth child is called River Rocket Oliver. With a name like Rocket, the worry is that the little lamb’s (lettuce) will go off. Nothing goes off like rocket.

PS – River Rocket is a brother to Poppy Honey Rose, Daisy Boo Pamela, Petal Blossom Rainbow and Buddy Bear Maurice.

PPS – There are few things more enjoyable than seeing other parents give their child a name that serves as a signifier of their individuality and cool.


Posted: 23rd, August 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews | Comment

Dear Jamie Oliver, please help us ban apples and pears

Sugar is bad for you. It must be taxed. In the eyes of Jamie Oliver and anyone who listens to him, tax is a way to punish people. So the price has been raised. Now, let’s ban fruit:

A banana contains four teaspoons of sugar!

An apple contains five teaspoons of sugar!

An pear contains four and a half teaspoons of sugar!

A bunch of grapes contains five teaspoons of sugar!

A slice of watermelon contains four and half teaspoons of sugar!

An orange contains four teaspoons of sugar!

The NHS says “Children should have no more than 19g of sugar a day.” But they should also eat five pieces of fruit a day, including fruit juices.



Posted: 26th, March 2016 | In: Reviews | Comment

Time for Tango to give Jamie Oliver a good slap

jamie oliver fatJamie Oliver says he will “go ninja” should David Cameron refuse to impose a ‘sugar tax’ on fizzy drinks. Ninja’s are people you can’t see or hear. Go for it, Jamie. Go ninja. Stay ninja!

Oliver wants anyone who eats things he thinks contain too much sugar to pay a tax. Oliver sees tax as a means of teaching you a lesson. This is shocking news for those of us who thought tax was a way of raising money.

Jamie reasons that expensive sugary treats will deter people from eating them. In Jamie’s draconian dictatorship, the government is in charge of everything. It tells us what we can eat, when we can eat it, at what price and in what volume. Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn might consider Oliver’s attack on Cameron a good thing, although even he must recognise what a disaster this Soviet-style meddling is.

It’s not the job of governments to tell us what we can eat. We can work that out for ourselves. Of course, in elitist Oliver’s world, the brains are with the rich who can afford a more expensive glass of pop and exercise self-restraint brought about by increased choice; the poor must do as they’re told and feel better for it. Or else.

Oh, and as for the Sugar Ninja – the one you never saw coming – we prefer him:


Posted: 8th, February 2016 | In: Celebrities, Politicians, Reviews | Comment

Jamie Oliver: sponsored by Mars star will save the poor and stupid from sugar

Jamie Oliver wants us to pay a “sugar tax”. The TV chef wants us to pay a  tax on sugary drinks and snacks. He says:

“The discussions that I’ve had haven’t implied that that is written off. I think the discussions that have I’ve had are been robust. Mr Cameron is reviewing everything and seems to be interrogating it really well. We need to make sure that he’s brave.”

And then – shudder:

“It’s symbolic of a government that is willing to fight tooth and nail for public health and most importantly for child health. We need to be bold and brave and frankly act like a parent.”

Josef Fritzl? Princess Diana? Osama bin Laden? Jamie Oliver? Which parent is the model?

Oliver adds:

“Who is running the country? Is it the businesses who are profiting from ill-health of our children or is it us?” 

Dunno. But in 2014, we read this:

On Friday 16 May, Mars Food Australia supported 210 school students local to the Wyong plant to cook with celebrity chef Jamie Oliver on Food Revolution Day.

Mars. Makers of the sugar-laden Mars Bar.

And in 2013:

Mars-owned food brand Uncle Ben’s has renewed its product-placement and sponsorship deal with Channel 4 for Jamie Oliver programming.


Thanks to Mars at least Jamie’s not one of the poor who will be hit and saved by his sugar tax.


Posted: 27th, October 2015 | In: Celebrities, Reviews | Comment

Tommie Rose’s Treats Will Settle Your Jamie Oliver Indigestion


Tommie Rose, 15, made what the Daily Mirror calls a “fortune” by selling food to his fellow pupils at Buile Hill High School, Salford. He employs casual labour, paying two mates £5.50 a day. Tommie earns £60-£70a day. Not too shabby.

But rather than being praised, Tommie Rose is being threaned with expulsion unless he gives up the day job.

Tommie has been here before. In 2011, he was suspended for 10 days for selling his lovely treats at the Oasis Academy in Salford. So. He changed schools. And he set about earning some more dough.

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Posted: 21st, November 2014 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

Jamie Oliver: missionary to the white working classes

The Prince of Wales visited  Carshalton Boys Sports College with Jamie Oliver to see how the school has transformed its approach to healthy eating through a series of measures put in place by headteacher, Simon Barber.  During their tour of the school, The Prince and Jamie viewed food technology lesson in action; visited the school cafeteria during lunch hour; meet the students and teachers tending the school chickens; and visited the students, parents and community volunteers from the “Mud Club”, growing food in the school playground. JAMIE OLIVER WITH A SCARECROW AND THE PRINCE  .Picture: Arthur Edwards

JAMIE Oliver wants to call you names. He sees it as his job. He has called you “idiots” for letting your children eat “junk food” (defined as food Jamie doesn’t like eating). Because in Jamie’s world where facts are unimportant and what children enjoy eating (salty fat) will lead to them dying before their parents and vomiting faeces (Oliver school of junk science), mum and dad are “tossers” and “arseholes” for allowing children to drink fizzy pop and eat sweets. It is “close to child abuse” says Jamie.

Jamie’s the mockney moraliser who looked at a parent and noted “the mum and the kid eating chips and cheese out of Styrofoam containers, and behind them is a massive fucking TV”. In Joyless Jamie’s world the poor kids should eat vegetables and listen to the radio, or watch Jamie’s TV shows in black and white; good and bad food given the monochrome treatment.

Jamie says fast food is “the most expensive way to hydrate and feed their families” . Parents should “grab ten mangetout for dinner that night”.

Now Jamie is attacking the young. Jamie says young British people are “wet behind the ears” and European immigrants are “tougher” workers.

This follows white middle-class Jamie’s other news that the ethnics are more in tune with his intolerant message:

“The sad thing is that generally ethnic kids and ethnic dinner ladies embrace either the cooking or the eating 10 times quicker than what we have learned to call ‘white trash’… This doesn’t mean they are bad people – far from it, just that ethnic minorities have a bigger sense of family, culture, have a use for the dinner table in the house and use food as a way of celebrating and communicating and being a family. It sounds very sad but in my experience it’s totally true. But, it doesn’t mean the harder kids won’t get turned around, it just takes a little longer.’ 

The poor whites are Jamie’s target. Jamie (value: £150m) is the council estate missionary teaching the low-lives his eating positions: sit up straight at the table and swallow his shit.


Posted: 29th, August 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)

Who wants to see Jamie Oliver sucking a dildo?

HAVE you seen Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen Minute Meals? It’s a show so irritating that it makes you want to punch the very notion of television into next week. And Jamie, here’s an idea: 1.5 Second Meals where someone just throws a Jaffa Cake in their mouth and gets on with their lives without bogling at lettuce.

Anyway, when Jamie isn’t larging it up over some prawns on a massive wooden board, he’s pretending to be Food Bono, saving our wickle children from a fate worse than delicious hamburgers.

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Posted: 12th, November 2012 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment

St Jamie Oliver’s Dream School Will Pity And Save The Poor

JAMIE Oliver’s mission to cure the fast-food classes of cheap protein (the miracle of the last 100 years) moves from their tum-tums to their heads. It is Oliver’s chosen lot to walk among the great unwashed – Northerners, Americans, the poor and the products of what the tabloids call “broken” society.

His new TV series is called Jamie’s Dream School. Jamie says he was “rubbish” at school. But he had parents who ran a thriving gastro-pub and inn in a lovely part of Essex. He had a passion for food and something to fall back on should a career away from the family not work out.

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Posted: 20th, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment

Jamie Oliver’s Buddy Bear Maurice Photos And Other Starsky & Hutch Tributes

JAMIE Oliver and wife Juliette are believed to have named their son Buddy Bear Maurice, after a New York diamond dealer and part-time wrestler in a season 3 episode of Starsky and Hutch.

Oliver already has a Petal Blossom Rainbow, Daisy Boo Pamela and Poppy Honey Rosie – names inspired by Waitrose shampoos – so thinking up a new name recipe was not going to be easy. But words were tossed into the blender and after a quick burst of action, Buddy Bear Maurice Oliver it is.

We spotted Jamie hosing off his news dish. Here’s the entire Oliver family showing off Buddy Bear Maurice at London’s Portland Hospital. Wish him well…


Picture 1 of 7

Jamie and Jools Oliver with their new baby boy, Buddy Bear Maurice, and daughter Petal Blossom Rainbow at the Portland Hospital in London.

Posted: 17th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

The New KFC Double Down Buries Jamie Oliver In His Bucket Of Hummus

GREAT news for those of you on a low-carb diet is that the new KFC Double Down replaces the bread with two pieces of chicken.

In the middle of the chicken baps lurks a piece of American cheese and some bacon. It’s 460 calories, 23g fat and 1430mg of sodium.

Has the Colonel been watching Jamie Oliver’s fleshy tongue flapping between to massive wet lips in his quest to get protein-rich young Americans to turn away from death and embrace hummus?

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Posted: 5th, April 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comments (4)

Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince Premiere Pictures

rupert-grint-arriving-for-the-world-premiere-of-harry-potter-and-the-half-blood-prince-at-the-odeon-leicester-square-london2ANROAK is at the London premier of Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince. And we’ve got pictures of the other freeloaders:

Posted: 7th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Ian Tomlinson Is Related To Jade Goody

IAN Tomlinson is now the subject of heated debate. He did not die in vain – his death is, very possibly, earning jobbing hacks more money than he earned in a lifetime as they fill space with opinions on how an innocent man was beaten up byu the polcie and then dropped dead not long after.

A smiling Amanda Platell sees it her job to tell Mail readers:

There is no way that I can defend the masked police officer caught on video striking a man on the back of his legs with a steel baton and then shoving him so hard that he fell to the ground. The man subsequently died of a heart attack.

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Posted: 11th, April 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (17)

Jamie Oliver On The Taxpayers’ Alliance

JAMIE Oliver and the EU – they deserve each other. The taxpayers’ alliance makes sense of it all  with Jamie Oliveoil recipe for EU Agriculture Fudge:

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Posted: 1st, April 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment

Recipease For Jamie Oliver

JAMIE Oliver is to launch a range of shops that will tech customers how to cook ingredients they have bought.

The shops will be called…Recipease and the first will open in Clapham, that area of South London populated by white people not raised in south London.

Says Jamie:

“By having trained chefs helping the customers, I think we can get people excited about food.”

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Posted: 13th, January 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (13)

Chickens Killed By Inflatable Jamie Oliver Balloon

“AS soon as the gas is released to raise the balloon they go absolutely crazy.

“It is absolute chaos, when they go into anything and that causes the egg to explode inside them.

“The fragments of the egg and its contents then infect them and then they die from it – it’s a horrible way to go.”

No doubting that. Being killed by your unfertilised unborn is just about the one crime that had never featured on Anorak’s pages.

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Posted: 6th, November 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comments (3)

Serving Filth To Jamie Oliver

JAMIE Oliver takes time out from telling fat football fans oop north to eat well and tells us:

“In the old days I used to get the knickers and the bras. It was good. Filth whispered in me ears.

“He’s a w***er” (Times.

They’re just bored of me now. I’m just that geezer who keeps, you know, doing these worthy things around the country.”

Like shoving it down people’s throats…

Posted: 9th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comments (15)

Jools Oliver Calls BOAST

JOOLS Oliver makes a call to Anorak’s Celebrity Baby Ordering And Star Treatment Service (BOAST)

“If I’m really honest, I’d like another girl,” – Jools Oliver, Mrs Jamiel Oliver, Sun

BOAST. Make the call now…

Myleene Klass And Norman Cook Call BOAST

Posted: 30th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1)