Jamie Oliver has fiddled with food every since Tony Blair realised the chef was popular on the telly and grabbed him for a conflab. Oliver has been raging against sugar for some time now. But signs are that it’s not working:
Jamie Oliver’s 10p tax on sugary drinks sold in his Italian restaurants has resulted in a significant drop in sales, a study has found.
Oliver gathers up all the 10ps and invests them in “food education and water fountains in schools”. He’s a food colonialist teaching the slack-jawed and sugar-toothed how to drink from a standpipe and worry about food. Sod the toque blanche and get the lad a pith helmet.
Now the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health tells us thatsugar-sweetened drinks flogged in Jamie’s Italian-style eateries fell 11% in the first 12 weeks of the levy. At the end of six months, sales were 9.3% lower than before the tax was brought in.
The odd bit is that fruit juice sales were up 22 per cent – you know, those pricey drinks packed full of sugar.
The study, however, does not tell us how Jamie’s faux Italian outlets have fared as a whole over that period. I did have the misfortune to visit Jamie’s Italian at Gatwick Airport just the other week, and can reveal that his cooked breakfast (‘The Full Monty’) was greasy, unsatisfying, badly presented (it came on an oily skillet), mean (3 nasty little mushrooms; two splats of cherry tomatoes; a drool of beans; two undercooked sausages; innersole bacon; charred squares of potato; missing onions; a dry slice of black pudding; and poached eggs that were well cooked but trimmed to the size of tic-tacs) and expensive (£10.25).
Professor Susan Jebb of University of Oxford tells the Times, Jamie’s experiment was “encouraging news for public health ahead of the introduction of the soft drink industry levy”.
Oh, and this:
Jamie Oliver is to close six of his Italian restaurants after tough trading and the “pressures and unknowns” following the Brexit vote.
Oliver intends to close Jamie’s Italian restaurants in Aberdeen, Exeter, Cheltenham, Richmond, Tunbridge Wells and Ludgate Hill, near London’s St Paul’s Cathedral, by the end of the first quarter of the year.
Jamie’s Oliver’s fifth child is called River Rocket Oliver. With a name like Rocket, the worry is that the little lamb’s (lettuce) will go off. Nothing goes off like rocket.
PS – River Rocket is a brother to Poppy Honey Rose, Daisy Boo Pamela, Petal Blossom Rainbow and Buddy Bear Maurice.
PPS – There are few things more enjoyable than seeing other parents give their child a name that serves as a signifier of their individuality and cool.
Sugar is bad for you. It must be taxed. In the eyes of Jamie Oliver and anyone who listens to him, tax is a way to punish people. So the price has been raised. Now, let’s ban fruit:
A banana contains four teaspoons of sugar!
An apple contains five teaspoons of sugar!
An pear contains four and a half teaspoons of sugar!
A bunch of grapes contains five teaspoons of sugar!
A slice of watermelon contains four and half teaspoons of sugar!
An orange contains four teaspoons of sugar!
The NHS says “Children should have no more than 19g of sugar a day.” But they should also eat five pieces of fruit a day, including fruit juices.
Jamie Oliver wants us to pay a “sugar tax”. The TV chef wants us to pay a tax on sugary drinks and snacks. He says:
“The discussions that I’ve had haven’t implied that that is written off. I think the discussions that have I’ve had are been robust. Mr Cameron is reviewing everything and seems to be interrogating it really well. We need to make sure that he’s brave.”
And then – shudder:
“It’s symbolic of a government that is willing to fight tooth and nail for public health and most importantly for child health. We need to be bold and brave and frankly act like a parent.”
Josef Fritzl? Princess Diana? Osama bin Laden? Jamie Oliver? Which parent is the model?
Oliver adds:
“Who is running the country? Is it the businesses who are profiting from ill-health of our children or is it us?”
On Friday 16 May, Mars Food Australia supported 210 school students local to the Wyong plant to cook with celebrity chef Jamie Oliver on Food Revolution Day.
Tommie Rose, 15, made what the Daily Mirror calls a “fortune” by selling food to his fellow pupils at Buile Hill High School, Salford. He employs casual labour, paying two mates £5.50 a day. Tommie earns £60-£70a day. Not too shabby.
But rather than being praised, Tommie Rose is being threaned with expulsion unless he gives up the day job.
Tommie has been here before. In 2011, he was suspended for 10 days for selling his lovely treats at the Oasis Academy in Salford. So. He changed schools. And he set about earning some more dough.
JAMIE Oliver wants to call you names. He sees it as his job. He has called you “idiots” for letting your children eat “junk food” (defined as food Jamie doesn’t like eating). Because in Jamie’s world where facts are unimportant and what children enjoy eating (salty fat) will lead to them dying before their parents and vomiting faeces (Oliver school of junk science), mum and dad are “tossers” and “arseholes” for allowing children to drink fizzy pop and eat sweets. It is “close to child abuse” says Jamie.
Jamie’s the mockney moraliser who looked at a parent and noted “the mum and the kid eating chips and cheese out of Styrofoam containers, and behind them is a massive fucking TV”. In Joyless Jamie’s world the poor kids should eat vegetables and listen to the radio, or watch Jamie’s TV shows in black and white; good and bad food given the monochrome treatment.
Jamie says fast food is “the most expensive way to hydrate and feed their families” . Parents should “grab ten mangetout for dinner that night”.
Now Jamie is attacking the young. Jamie says young British people are “wet behind the ears” and European immigrants are “tougher” workers.
This follows white middle-class Jamie’s other news that the ethnics are more in tune with his intolerant message:
“The sad thing is that generally ethnic kids and ethnic dinner ladies embrace either the cooking or the eating 10 times quicker than what we have learned to call ‘white trash’… This doesn’t mean they are bad people – far from it, just that ethnic minorities have a bigger sense of family, culture, have a use for the dinner table in the house and use food as a way of celebrating and communicating and being a family. It sounds very sad but in my experience it’s totally true. But, it doesn’t mean the harder kids won’t get turned around, it just takes a little longer.’
The poor whites are Jamie’s target. Jamie (value: £150m) is the council estate missionary teaching the low-lives his eating positions: sit up straight at the table and swallow his shit.
HAVE you seen Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen Minute Meals? It’s a show so irritating that it makes you want to punch the very notion of television into next week. And Jamie, here’s an idea: 1.5 Second Meals where someone just throws a Jaffa Cake in their mouth and gets on with their lives without bogling at lettuce.
Anyway, when Jamie isn’t larging it up over some prawns on a massive wooden board, he’s pretending to be Food Bono, saving our wickle children from a fate worse than delicious hamburgers.
JAMIE Oliver’s mission to cure the fast-food classes of cheap protein (the miracle of the last 100 years) moves from their tum-tums to their heads. It is Oliver’s chosen lot to walk among the great unwashed – Northerners, Americans, the poor and the products of what the tabloids call “broken” society.
His new TV series is called Jamie’s Dream School. Jamie says he was “rubbish” at school. But he had parents who ran a thriving gastro-pub and inn in a lovely part of Essex. He had a passion for food and something to fall back on should a career away from the family not work out.
JAMIE Oliver and wife Juliette are believed to have named their son Buddy Bear Maurice, after a New York diamond dealer and part-time wrestler in a season 3 episode of Starsky and Hutch.
Oliver already has a Petal Blossom Rainbow, Daisy Boo Pamela and Poppy Honey Rosie – names inspired by Waitrose shampoos – so thinking up a new name recipe was not going to be easy. But words were tossed into the blender and after a quick burst of action, Buddy Bear Maurice Oliver it is.
We spotted Jamie hosing off his news dish. Here’s the entire Oliver family showing off Buddy Bear Maurice at London’s Portland Hospital. Wish him well…
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Jamie and Jools Oliver with their new baby boy, Buddy Bear Maurice, and daughter Petal Blossom Rainbow at the Portland Hospital in London.
GREAT news for those of you on a low-carb diet is that the new KFC Double Down replaces the bread with two pieces of chicken.
In the middle of the chicken baps lurks a piece of American cheese and some bacon. It’s 460 calories, 23g fat and 1430mg of sodium.
Has the Colonel been watching Jamie Oliver’s fleshy tongue flapping between to massive wet lips in his quest to get protein-rich young Americans to turn away from death and embrace hummus?
IAN Tomlinson is now the subject of heated debate. He did not die in vain – his death is, very possibly, earning jobbing hacks more money than he earned in a lifetime as they fill space with opinions on how an innocent man was beaten up byu the polcie and then dropped dead not long after.
A smiling Amanda Platell sees it her job to tell Mail readers:
There is no way that I can defend the masked police officer caught on video striking a man on the back of his legs with a steel baton and then shoving him so hard that he fell to the ground. The man subsequently died of a heart attack.