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Posts Tagged ‘new zealand’

David Bowie: the most ludicrous tribute of them all

This might be the most trite David Bowie tribute of the lot. In New Zealand one local paper asks ‘whose shirt are you wearing?’ ‪#‎davidbowie‬


bowie tribute


Next week: which tin can is your favourite?

Posted: 14th, January 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Auckland Council erects $200,000 council-funded phallus

aukland penis

“Art is there to provoke the reaction and usually for the one negative comment there’s thousands of positive comments as well,” says sculptor Gregor Kregar, whose $200,000 sculpture commissioned by Auckland Council  has been erected in Auckland, New Zealand.

“To be honest it’s a little bit upsetting but for me it’s almost more humorous or funny… If you look at the finished sculptures photographed in my workroom there is not a phallic form to be seen.

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Posted: 7th, February 2015 | In: The Consumer | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Photo of Irish tourist’s kayak on car will make you smile

Kayak roof
To New Zealand, where an Irish toursit is moving his kayak by car along State Highway 25A between Kopu and Hikuai.
District road policing manager Inspector Freda Grace tells us:
 “To make matters worse the officer was already on her way to a vehicle crash, and this driver’s behaviour could very easily have caused another – imagine if he had encountered a cyclist driving like this.”
Yeah, imagine. That woild be, er, terrible, just terrible…

Posted: 17th, December 2014 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

New Zealand parliament erupts in Maori love song as same sex marriage bill is approved

TO New Zealand for some a capella singing. The Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill – Third Reading – Part 20 has been passed. A Maori love song fills the air:


Posted: 17th, April 2013 | In: Politicians | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Beach goers form human chain to save boy from drowning (video)

human chain new zealand

TO Napier, New Zealand, where Josh McQuiod, 12, has been swept into the sea at Marine Parade. He’s been in the water for eight minutes.

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Posted: 12th, March 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Cats to be culled in New Zealand?

ANYONE who has ever used Instagram or Facebook, will be thoroughly sick of the sight of people’s stupid cats. They’re everywhere at the moment, with childless hipster couples treating the feline fur-gits like they’re human babies or something.

Well, someone in New Zealand hates cats more than anyone else. So much so that they want them banned from the whole of NZ, which is clearly a brilliant move.

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Posted: 25th, January 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

New Zealand prostitutes bend poles with their bare hands

TO New Zealand, where keen Olympians are using street furniture to pole dance on. Reports are that “dozens” of traffic sings and poles have been bent out of shape by women using them as dance partners.

Pole dancing, of course, grew out of the 1980s Handbag Movement, in which legions of women would dance about their handbags in clubs with names like Buzbees, Dicey O’Reilly’s and Boogies Brasserie while they waited for men with rhythm or a bag snatcher. The bags went, replaced by, in turn, traffic cones, men called Gary and finally poles.

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Posted: 18th, July 2012 | In: Reviews | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

TV exit of the day: As seen on New Zealand TV3’s Firstline (video)

NEW Zealand. The country that gave the world Shortland Street and Dikshit TV, has new star. Give it up for the expert on TV3’s Firstline, star of New Zealand 100 Best Exits:

Posted: 30th, June 2012 | In: TV & Radio | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

New Zealand wants journalists to reveal all sources to judges

JOURNALISM looks to get tougher in New Zealand.

Justice Minister Judith Collins today released a Supplementary Order Paper (SOP) that contains proposed amendments to the Search and Surveillance Bill, which passed its second reading last week.

[A] key change is that journalists’ claim to ‘journalistic privilege’ when protecting their sources of information will be determined by a High Court judge.

“While a claim of privilege is being decided by the Court, the information in question will be held at the High Court for safekeeping – not with the agency conducting the search.

“This change has been made in recognition of the media’s role in a free and democratic society and to preserve important principles of media freedom and a journalist’s right to protect sources,” Ms Collins said.

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Posted: 5th, March 2012 | In: Reviews | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

New Zealand Trucker Impaled On Pressurised Air Hose Blows Up

STEVEN McCormack is a sort-of real life Michelin Man. McCormak is the Kiwi trucker who had fell on an air hose cauaing the brass nozzle to break and inject pressurised air at 100lb/sq in into his buttocks.

The accident occured While he was a truck stop at Opotiki on the North Island. Says McCormack, 48, from his hospital bed in Whakatane, speaking to the Whakatane Beacon:

“I felt the air rush into my body and I felt like it was going to explode from my foot. I was blowing up like a football… it felt like I had the bends, like in diving. I had no choice but just to lay there, blowing up like a balloon.”

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Posted: 25th, May 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Horse Semen Is A Zizzy Drink In New Zealand

ANYONE who fancies a drink of stallion semen, and who doesn’t fancy another trip to a fetish farm in rural Germany, can head to New Zealand’s Hokitika Wildfoods festival for a mouthful of racehorse owner Lindsay Kerslake’s oats.

Says she:

“Horses are pure testosterone, you know. They have hardly any cholesterol, so the idea is you knock it back and feel like a stallion yourself. You’ll have as much zizz as a stallion for a week afterwards.”

Anorak guesses (and despite the rumours, it is only a guess) that it will take longer than a week to remove the taste of horse zizz. (Jeremy Paxman fanciers can write in and tell us.)

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Posted: 2nd, March 2011 | In: Strange But True | Comments (7) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Ahsei Sopoaga Is The Face Of The New Zealand Earthquake

THIS video of the Christchurch, New Zealand, earthquake is eerie. But while some are shocked, and others carry on, one man digs. He is Samoa-born Ahsei Sopoaga.

He tells the Star-Times:

“It was just some things that were on top of him and had to be removed… I’m really not sure how heavy it was.”

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Posted: 27th, February 2011 | In: Reviews | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

How To Make Money From The New Zealand Earthquake With Ethical Forex Trading

THE New Zealand earthquake has claimed 98 bodies so far. But, on a more positive note, your life goes on and here’s a chance to make money from disaster and all that seismic volatility. Daniel Wright tells readers of

Good morning readers,

Terrible news over in New Zealand has led to an extremely volatile market this morning, especially regarding GBP – NZD – Rates had touched 2.16 at one point however right this second appear to have stabled out.

Overnight we saw a shift of 1.6% – A difference of nearly NZD7000 on a £200,000 purchase which is huge.

Should you have NZD to purchase and want to take full advantage of this, contact us today – you can even secure a rate on a forward basis for just a small deposit should you not have full acess to your funds.

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Posted: 24th, February 2011 | In: Money | Comments (2) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Habitual Panties Thief Captured At Rugby Club

WOMEN’S panties – knickers, to you – are going missing from washing lines in Dunedin, New Zealand. Nick Reeves spends a night in the bushes of his mum’s garden. (Fnar.) he’ll nab the knicker knapper when he spots them. Says he:

“It was like Murphy’s law – when I wasn’t at the house, more pairs would go missing.”

Anyhow, after a long vigil Reeves spots the man and gives chase. And where is the felon finally captured? That’s right – at the rugby club, the Green Island Rugby Football Club, to be exact.

Knickers go missing. Round up the usual suspects…

Posted: 9th, April 2010 | In: Strange But True | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Man Skins And Eats His Pet Pitbull

7548608IN New Zealand, Paea Taufa cooked his pet dog in a backyard pit. He cannot be prosecuted, because it was killed “humanely”.

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals says inspectors arrived at the South Auckland home to find the pitbull terrier-cross skinned, gutted, and partially charred.

The puzzled owner, Paea Taufa, says dog is a delicacy in Tonga and he had knocked it unconscious with a blow to the head before slitting its throat.

The SPCA says cultural differences aside, it is unacceptable.

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Posted: 16th, August 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (3) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Man Convicted For Hitting Paedophile Seen Seducing His Child

IN Blenheim, New Zealand, a father is convicted and fined $1000 for assaulting a 23-year-old man who wanted to have sex with his 13-year-old daughter.

Defence lawyer Michael Hardy Jones tells the Blenheim District Court that the father, 43, first took the mater to the police: “They said they were not able to assist at that stage.”

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Posted: 29th, July 2009 | In: Strange But True | Comments (4) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

A Free Goat With Every Mitsubishi Ute

kiwi-goatONE more reason to live in New Zealander (if you know the other one, let us know) as news reaches that Mitsubishi offers free goat with every ute:

MITSUBISHI Motors in New Zealand is offering a free goat with every Triton ute sold before August in a novel effort at correcting the economy.

Mitsubishi Motors New Zealand general sales and marketing manager Peter Wilkins said the economy’s recovery was in the hands of the rural sector, and goats, like Tritons, were “hardy, versatile units which will integrate directly into existing farm operations”.

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Posted: 2nd, June 2009 | In: Money | Comment | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Wanted Man Appears On Billboard

DO you know the man on the billboard?

Locals in Auckland are gazing upon the image of a man wanted in connection with the theft of 15 transformers, owned by the, er, advertising company OTW which owns the billboards.

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Posted: 26th, November 2008 | In: Strange But True | Comment (1) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Russell Crowe Cures The Credit Crunch

“I WAS thinking,” Russell Crowe tells US TV host Jay Leno:

The New Zealand-born actor announced, during a US TV talkshow appearance, a plan to cure America’s financial crisis … Crowe believes the US Government should give each American $US1 million.

His reasoning was that the US has a population of about 300 million, and a $US300 million outlay was a fraction of the $US700 billion financial bailout package rejected by politicians in Washington DC yesterday.

He should have thought a little harder though—a $US1 million handout to 300 million people would cost $300 trillion.


Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comments (24) | Comments RSS feed:RSS 2.0