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Anorak - Author Archive

Liverpool regrets: Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain plays and Arsenal fans laugh

Don’t panic, Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, the Arsenal player who left the club for Liverpool in a £40m transfer. Four matches into his rosy-fingered dawn and ‘The Ox’ has yet to be … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2017 | In: Arsenal, Liverpool, News, Sports | Comment


Owen Jones meets Alistair Campbell is beyond parody

When the Guardian’s Owen Jones interviews Tony Blair’s former spin doctor Alastair Campbell is was golden.

 
Agree with him or not, @campbellclaret deserves better than being condescended to by this adolescent … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2017 | In: Celebrities, Politicians | Comment


Did you spot the huge penis in a Netflix children’s cartoon? Here it is

 

For those of you who missed it, this is the huge penis drawing that featured on a Netflix show Maya the Bee. The Mirror hears from the parent who spotted it and … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True, TV & Radio | Comments (2)


Antifa bigots are even worse than the neo-Nazi they beat up in Seattle

Prince Harry got lucky. Moreover, Sid Vicious, Keith Moon, Brian Jones, Siouxie Sioux, Ron Asheton, Peter Rabbit, TV baker Paul Hollywood and Paul Dutton, 48, who was ejected from his local … (read more)

Posted: 20th, September 2017 | In: Key Posts, News | Comments (3)


Tomb Raider: Alicia Vikander seen without Photoshop for first time

 

It’s pretty well known that Swedish dancer an actor Alicia Vikander is part giraffe. In her previous jobs the professional liars (surely ‘Photoshop artistes’? – ed) shorten Vikaner’s neck so as … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2017 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment


The dadbag: look like a hairy man with this to-die-for bumbag

 

Look like a pre-depilated Kardahsian with the Dadbag. It’s a bum bag that looks like a bloke’s stomach. Designer Albert Pukies tells Bored Panda:
I made the dadbag because I’m desperate to have dad bod … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2017 | In: The Consumer | Comment


Sex doll rentals to supplement your rubber insulated love life

 

Hard luck on Chinese men who enjoy rubber insulated sex with a rubber insulated partner. The sex doll rental service is no more.
“We prepared ten dolls for the trial operation,” a … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


‘Piss Off Fatso’: When Thompson and Lillee wreaked havoc

 

The Ashes are coming. A friend tells me with no little boasting, “I watched Thompson and Lillee on ‘The Hill’.” That was the 1974-1975 Ashes, when Geoff Thompson and Dennis … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2017 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment


NHS wages: multiplier effect v opportunity costs

If you pay the NHS’s legion of workers more money, they’ll spend it and everyone will be better off. Anyone with even a rudimentary understanding of economics will recognise that … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2017 | In: Broadsheets, Money | Comment


Jeremy Corbyn’s wife shuts down Arsenal fan Piers Morgan

When Piers Morgan spotted Jeremy Corbyn chatting with Arsenal’s Spanish defender Hector Bellerin, he tried to butt in. Mrs Corbyn shut the boorish TV presenter down in the best way:

 

 

Spotter: … (read more)

Posted: 19th, September 2017 | In: Arsenal, Celebrities, Politicians, Sports | Comment


Chelsea balls: Gus Hiddink never did cry

The Sun enjoys the “Crying Dutchman” pun, using it to describe Dutch football managers who aren’t ever crying. In May 2016, the Sun said “Crying Dutchman Louis van Gaal” was … (read more)

Posted: 18th, September 2017 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Arsenal balls: Garth Crooks dumps Chelsea Nazis on Sead Kolasinac’s brick toilet

On Monday, BBC pundit Garth Crooks delivers his Premier League team of the week. This week Crooks has selected Sead Kolasinac, who played well in Arsenal’s draw against Chelsea on Sunday, during … (read more)

Posted: 18th, September 2017 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Sports | Comment


After Parsons Green, sympathy for the bombers

 

“Is THIS the Tube bucket bomber?” (Daily Star). Or to put it another way, “ON HIS WAY TO BOMB TUBE?” (The Sun). Or “Is this the Bucket Bombed On Way … (read more)

Posted: 18th, September 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment


Arsenal balls: Chelsea website offers Luiz an excuse for his red card

Chelsea drew 0-0 with Arsenal in today’s Premier League match. Arsenal hit the post and missed an open goal; Chelsea had a one-on-one with the ‘keeper. The game was pretty … (read more)

Posted: 17th, September 2017 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, Sports | Comment


NetMums and anal sex – sponsored by Disney On Ice

Following news of swearing on Mumsnet and how advertisers are being unnerved by it, we spot an advert for Disney on rival site NetMums. The adverts entices readers to:
WIN a VIP … (read more)

Posted: 17th, September 2017 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment


In 1967 the Monkees sold more records than the Beatles and Rolling Stones combined – wrong

 

 

Ever hear the story about how in 1967 The Monkees sold more records than the Beatles and the Rolling Stones combined? Rolling Stone, that bastion of factual news reporting, told us … (read more)

Posted: 17th, September 2017 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News | Comment


The anti-Israel demo ‘is just an excuse to hate Jews’

 

You don’t like Israel. Fine. Debate and discuss. March and shout. Being offended and outraged is good for the soul. It’s not hate speech to decry a country. It’s free … (read more)

Posted: 17th, September 2017 | In: News, Politicians | Comment


High waist double jeans are this year’s world’s worst fashion

 

Double denim be gone! We’ve got double jeans! For a mere $695, you can buy these Natasha Zinko High Waist Double Jeans.
Layered waistbands give these wide-leg Natasha Zinko jeans a modern … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2017 | In: Fashion, Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Parson’s Green bomb: Islamic State shop in Lidl and read the Daily Mail

The bomb on the London Underground is wrapped in a shopping bag. On the side you can read ‘Lidl’, the name of the German discount supermarket chain. That the bomb … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment


‘Artist’s Shit’ tinned on May 1931 goes for millions of dollars

 

In 1961 Piero Manzoni sorted his turds into 30 gram piles and placed each serving into one of 90 cans, which he then sealed and signed. And tins of “Merda … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2017 | In: Strange But True, The Consumer | Comment


Harry Dean Stanton RIP – ‘He’s got this innocence and naturalness’

 

Harry Dean Stanton has died. he was 91.
Stanton also led his own band, first known as Harry Dean Stanton and the Repo Men and later simply as the Harry Dean Stanton … (read more)

Posted: 16th, September 2017 | In: Celebrities, Film | Comment


Blitzkrieg: Arsenal fans beyond parody as German ‘Nazis’ invade from Cologne

At last night’s Arsenal v Cologne match in the Europa League, things did not go smoothly. Fans behaved as football fans used to, arriving at the stadium without tickets and … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2017 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Arse v Spuds battle of the rappaz: Arsenal and Spurs fans in excruciating music fight

Steel yourselves, readers, for this epic battle between fans of Arenal and Spurs.

First up: the Selly Oak Crew with You Just Got Kaned. With sincere apologies to Chas ‘n’ Dave, … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2017 | In: Arsenal, Key Posts, Music, Sports, Spurs | Comment


Fans booted out of Boston’s Fenway Park for waving accidentally racist banner

Hard luck on the four fans expelled from Boston’s Fenway Park during a baseball game yesterday after waving a banner carrying the legend: “Racism Is As American As Baseball.” Ambiguous … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2017 | In: News, Sports | Comment


If you can pay the fee Facebook will hook you up with ‘Jew haters’

Thanks to ProPublica, we know that you can book adverts on Facebook that target anti-Semites. Most Facebook user of would ignore these ads, of course. Active Nazis are thin on the … (read more)

Posted: 15th, September 2017 | In: Key Posts, News, Technology | Comment