Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Kurt Vonnegut’s advice for teachers at Iowa Writers’ Workshop
KURT Vonnegut wrote to Richard Gehman in 1967. He had advice to give.
“Mornings are for writing and so are most of the afternoons… The classes don’t matter much.”
Gehman was due to teach at University of Iowa’s famous Writer’s Workshop,where Vonnegut had been there from 1965 to 1967.
“Cancel classes whenever you damn please.”
Spotter: Slate
Posted: 24th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback | Comment
And the winner of the most memorable Oscar speech of all time is…
LIGHTS, cameras… Cue wailing and gnashing of teeth… Yes, it’s Oscars time again, and that means Oscar speeches.
Rebecca Rolfe, of the Georgia Institute of Technology has been analyzing these excruciating exercises in emoting, and says that the average length of an acceptance speech was 44 seconds for men and 39 seconds for women in the 1960s. Now it is 1 minute and 57 seconds for men and 1 minute 56 seconds for women. Interestingly, 71 per cent of the tears have come since 1995.
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Tanning mom Patricia Krentril heads to London in search of the sun’s rays
IN May 2012, Patricia Krentril was arrested in New Jersey for taking her 5-year-old daughter to a tanning salon, where she was burnt. Krentil, who looks George Hamilton’s portrayal of Geppetto’s Mr. Hankey, became a star. In May of that year, Patty Baked swore of tanning. Well, she agreed to take the challenge issued by In Touch magazine and abstain from UV rays for 30 days. Sure, she still used Jergens self-tanner and told us “I feel weird and pale”, but she did it. But now she’s back. And the Sun says she heading to the UK – in search of a tan!
(After which she will head to the Himalayas in search of the Abominable Snowman; Loch Ness in search of a Monster; and Mecca in search for a bacon roll.)
Says Patty Baked:
“I was born to tan — and there is nothing like the colour that you get from a sunbed. But in the past year I have been banned from tanning salons. Now I have to spend hours covering myself in tanning lotion to get the colour I want.”
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Posted: 24th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment (1)
Kate Price announces her baby with a football cliche
KATIE Price aka Katie ‘Loud’ Hayler and her husband Kieran (pronounced: Kevin) are to have a baby. Katie says, “We’re all over the moon.” She is also sick as parrot and delighted that Kevin’s cross-come shot tricked over the line. Other football phrases to watch out for: too good to go down; a games of two halves; a great advert for the game…
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Posted: 24th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
RIP Bob Godfrey: from TOTO to Roobarb, The Beatles and Henry’s Cat
RIP Bob Godfrey. You created Roobab and Custard, the story of the chipper snot-green dog and the snide purple cat. Everything wobbled.
You died in the same week as Richard Briers, the actor who gave your characters voices.
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Posted: 23rd, February 2013 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment
Ant ‘n’ Dec: Taking drugs and loving booze never did us any harm
THEM Mirror’s front-page scoop is an extract from a interview Ant ‘n Dec did in the Guardian’s Weekend section. The TV presenters say they love booze. Just love it. But that’s ok. Getting off your face on alcohol is legal. The shocker is: “Ant ‘n’ Dec’s shock confession – We’ve taken drugs and voted Tory.”
Suit-wearing TV stars vote for lower taxes and have taken drugs?
What scoops to follow: Jordan sleeps on her back! Pope enjoys balcony views! Tony Blair has no shadow!
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Posted: 23rd, February 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jorge Pérez spanks women’s bottoms and says it’s music (video)
JORGE Pérez of patáx slaps woman on the bottoms for his art. Born in Boston in 1979, Pérez was raised in Madrid where he studied percussion at the Creative Music School in Madrid. He returned to Boston to study at the Berklee College of Music. There he pulled together this ensemble. The woman’s names are not known, and are thought to be Jeremy Irons’ former secretaries picking up stray paperclips:
Groping Jeremy Irons helps stupid woman find their own bottoms
SAYS Jeremy Irons in the Radio Times: “If a man puts his hands on a woman’s bottom, any woman worth her salt can deal with it. It’s communication.”
But what does it say, Jezza? To some primative minds it look like it says:
“I can put my hands on your primary sexual characteristics because I’m a man. If you can’t deal with it, then you are not a woman worth the investment. You are a gibbering wreck who probably can’t find your own arse with your own hands unless a man shows your the way. Now run along, love.”
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Posted: 21st, February 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jimmy Savile interviewed in 1964: did he have sex with a 16-year-old when he was 4?
JIMMY Savile was speaking with The New Venture News in 1964. Based on London’s Old Kent Road, New Venture News was talking with “personality of the moment”, Radio Luxembourg DJ Jimmy Savile. A “young lady” is also in the room.
In the interview, Savile says he was “4” when he embarked on a “love affair” with a 16-year-old. His most embarrassing moment was being “caught” in a Great Yarmouth caravan with “five girls”. He says his life is “an open book”:
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Posted: 21st, February 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Mitch Winehouse wears Amy Winehouse as a waistcoat at the Brits
AT the Brits Awards 2013, Mitch Winehouse arrived wearing a waistcoat bearing a picture of his daughter Amy Winehouse (quote: “I used to walk into the Hawley Arms, grab a bag of mince and cook meatballs.“)
Mitch is the cabbie called to give evidence to the House of Commons Committee’s debate on the cocaine trade. On Mitch’s website, the blurb for his album tells readers: “Mitch joins a list of illustrious artists from Elton John to Matt Monro who have performed Tony’s songs.” He’s written a hook called Amy, My Daughter. That’s not to be confused with his Channel 4 documentary My Daughter Amy. Mitch, who told us that his daughter’s new boob job “looks great”. You might have caught him on the chatshow Mitch Winehouse’s Showbiz Rant. So here’s Mitch on the Brits red carpet. Amy was nominated for her posthumous album Lioness: Hidden Treasures.
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Posted: 21st, February 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Kim Kardashian thinks about her baby on meth
KIM Kadashian is in DuJour Magazine. The teaser boasts that this is the first in-depth celebrity interview conducted from within the subject matter:
Fearless in the face of scrutiny and a hopeless romantic in a cynical age, everywoman Kim is impossible to define.
But feel free to try. Kim is the 5ft 2inch beige wall whose mother turned an internet screw into a range of underwear, linen and perfume.
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Posted: 20th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Speidi-Pratt: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are armed and ready to meet a ‘crazed fan’
SDEIDI is HeidiMontag and Spencer Pratt, a waxy coupling last seen winning Celebrity Big Brother on Channel 5 (now snow free!). For the third issue on the bounce, Speidi is on OK!’s cover. We go “inside their £7m Californian Beach House“. We learn “We’ve Gained FIVE Stone”.
You start to think that that FIVE stone is part of the marketing for their documentary on Channel 5, OK!’s sister organ. Called Speidi: Scandal, Secrets & Surgery!, the show is a warts-and-all-removed look at the couple who defeated Toadfish from Neighbours Sam Robertson from CBB and aide to masturbation Lucy Banghard to be stars.
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Posted: 20th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The world’s greatest ever Harlem Shake
THE World’s greatest ever Harlem Shake. A washing machine meme’s it maker:
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Posted: 20th, February 2013 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Playing Massive Attack’s Tear Drop on an aubergine
CAN you play Massvie Attack’s Tear Drop on an aubergine? j.viewz investigates:
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Posted: 18th, February 2013 | In: Music | Comment (1)
Woman covers body in Twilight tattoos: can’t see the trees for the wooden actors
CATHY Ward, 51, Cathy Ward, has scene and quotes from the Twilight books and films on her skin. In the right light, you can role her around in bed and read her. Her lovers’ are never without literary stimulation. Of her ink of Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner, Ward says:
“I’m still continuing with them. We’ve got plans and designs for my legs next year – the aim is to cover my whole body.”
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Posted: 17th, February 2013 | In: Books, Film, Strange But True | Comment
TOWIE star Chloe Sims in Haribo horror: Jelly Bears attack leads to headache
WE are told what kind of Haribo sweets was allegedly tossed at Chloe Sims, the TOWIE strumpet with the looks of a young Freddie Mercury. Jelly Bears. Two of them. The alleged incident is said to have occurred at Hannah Kahn’s 13th birthday party. The Sun reports that Sims, 31, had been paid £3,000 to be the guest of honour at do. Reportedly, Sims was struck on the head and breasts by the 1cm soft-shell sweeties. She left with a “headache“. The Sun says Sims “considered calling cops to the party”.
Claims are that Sims never bothered to say goodbye to the birthday girl.
Was Sims put out that the Haribo was not a Starmix, Heart Throb or Heart Ring, the latter being lobbed by a wealthy footballer? What does the Jelly Teddy signify? And it is worse than a Sour Cherry?
Posted: 16th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
1954: Woody Guthrie pictured in New York City’s Washington Square Park
1954: Arthur Dubinsky captures Woody Guthrie in New York City’s Washington Square Park. He’s accompanied by Ramblin’ Jack Elliot.
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Posted: 15th, February 2013 | In: Flashback, Music | Comment
Tulisa claims credit for rhyming ‘club’ with ‘up’
A ROW between the X Factor’s self-declared (see tattoo) “Female Boss” Tulisa and The Voice’s “Dope” will.i.am. Tulisa is claiming credit for some of the lyrics on will.i.am and Britney Spears’ hit Scream & Shout.
Tulisa has called in the lawyers. The Daily Mail notes:
One of the lyrics that Tulisa allegedly wrote was: ‘When you hear this in the club, you’d better turn this s**t up.’
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A tour of Salvador Dali’s Spanish home
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Posted: 15th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback | Comment
Katie Price calls Kelly Brook a ‘Hefner’ not a ‘heffer’
TYPO of the week was found in Katie Price’s column for the Sun:
“They [photos of Kelly in a bikini] don’t seem to be air-brushed and I’m FLABbergasted to see how big Kelly really is… You’re a heffer, Kelly, but still a hot one.”
Having written that, Priced then tweeted:
“I don’t think girls read Sun col right — I never slagged off bigger girls.”
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Posted: 15th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Is Micky Flanagan going to come and spoil TV Burp?
TV BURP was one of the finest things on television, with Harry Hill and his team managing to make one of the silliest, funniest and most surreal tea-time telly shows in history. When it bowed out, there was hole which was irreplaceable.
However, some idiot is trying to replace it. No, we’re not talking about Channel 4’s AWFUL look at television with Paddy McGuinness. In fact, it is considerably worse.
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Posted: 14th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio | Comment
Pregnant Evan Rachel Wood slams the Daily Mail for perving at her unborn baby
THE Daily Mail is aghast and dismayed at the behaviour of Chi magazine in publishing pictures of pregnant Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge.
It’s called Chi “tawdry” and “cheap“. Those swine will stoop low to get photos of celebs.
The Mail, of course, took the pledge never again to publish paparazzi photos. It did that to honour Princess Diana. On 8 September 1997, eight days after the death of Princess Diana, the Mail wrote:
Mail leads the way in banning paparazzi pictures.
The proprietor of the Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday and Evening Standard announced last night that his papers will not in future purchase pictures taken by paparazzi Viscount Rothermere, chairman of the Daily Mail and General Trust plc said: ‘I am, and always have been, an admirer of Diana, Princess of Wales, and nagged my editors to protect her so far as they could against her powerful enemies. In view of Earl Spencer’s strong words and my own sense of outrage, I have instructed my editors no ‘paparazzi’ pictures are to be purchased without my knowledge and consent.’
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Posted: 14th, February 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment
