Anorak

Celebrities | Anorak - Part 367

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Britney Spears’ Two For One Chinese Children Deal

britney-spears-driving.jpg“BRITNEY Spears to adopt Chinese twins,” says the News of The World.

Once was the time when a celebrity would adopt a new look, a panda bear in a Zoo or a technique with grilled food.

Now they adopt people. …

Posted: 25th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mr Amy Winehouse In The Big House: A Play

amy-winehouse-3.jpgA COURTHOUSE in London Town where chartered surveyors’ practice Blake Fielder-Civil is up before the Beak. In the throng, his wife, popular chanteuse Amy Winehouse

Blake Fielder-Civil, Mr Amy Wienhouse (mouthed): “You all right? You OK?”

Winehouse: “Yes”

The

Posted: 24th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jamie Oliver’s Slip Of The Tongue On Angelina’s Jolie ‘Piloh Shit’

oliver-aniston.jpgALL is not well in the world of transatlantic celebrity relations as “fat-tongued Jamie Oliver” calls Angelina Jolie’s child “Piloh Sh*t instead of Shiloh Pitt”.

The Spoonerism has not gone down well.

In John Gross’s Oxford Books of Aphorisms, Comic …

Posted: 23rd, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Amy Winehouse And The Case Of The Dead Hamster

amy-winehouse-2.jpg“GEORGIE was a birthday present and we’d got him out to play with in the morning,” says budding popstar Peter Pepper beneath the headline “Amy killed MY hamster”, this being the Mirror’s quotidian Amy Winehouse vignette.

“I’d been in bed, …

Posted: 23rd, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kate Moss Pops The Question

kate-moss.jpg“WHO’S GOT THE DRUGS..” says the Mirror, words hanging alongside a picture of Kate Moss.

Grammarians will note the absence of the question mark. The headline might come equipped with a bony finger pointing at Moss’s head.

But that would …

Posted: 23rd, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Happy Thanksgiving Paris Hilton And Kirk Douglas

thanksgiving-paris-hilton.pngHOLLYWOOD past and present – Paris Hilton and Kirk Douglas.

The stars of yesterday and the stars of today.

The way they celebrate Thanksgiving seems to say so much……

Posted: 22nd, November 2007 | In: Celebrities | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jamie Oliver Eats With Supermarkets And Takes On Chickens

jamie-oliver-1.jpgJAMIE Oliver is hosting a dinner.

In the manner of 1950s chat show Tea With Noele Gordon (the actress who went on to front Lunchbox), Dinner With Jamie Oliver is going to be on TV.
Says the Independent: “Guests …

Posted: 22nd, November 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Trinny And Susannah Chalk Up Another Success

wilmington.jpgA CRY for help from Trinny and Susannah? The Telegraph has a picture of the Long Man Of Wilmington, a pagan symbol, billed as “Europe’s largest representation of the human form”.

And onto this 227ft carving on the slopes of …

Posted: 22nd, November 2007 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Amy Winehouse’s Spot Of Relief

amy-winehouse-2.jpgPRAISE for Amy Winehouse in Anorak Towers. Years of looking up Kate Moss’s nose have given us not only an inferiority complex but created the impression that all nose insides look the same.

This is not the case, a truth …

Posted: 22nd, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Janice Dickinson Is This Year’s David Gest

janice-dickinson-02.jpgJANICE Dickinson is this year’s David Gest.

Last year, Gest appeared on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! and we wondered if he would fall to pieces – literally.

Now Janice is in the celebrity clearing, and we …

Posted: 21st, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, OK! | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Most Perfect OK! Celebrity Caption Ever

MOST revealing OK! caption of all time: “Nikki, Michelle, Danielle and Chantelle live it up in Lineker’s Bar in Marbella with Wayne Lineker and Calum Best.”

Perfect.…

Posted: 21st, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, OK! | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Angleia Jolie: Zahara’s Family Want Her Back

angelina-jolie-orphans.jpgTO Grazia magazine, and a front-page sensation: “Angelina bombshell – Zahara’s family demand her back.”

Sadly, as reported in the Enquirer, Ms Jolie is removing herself to France and will not be returning to Ethiopia, land of daughter Zahara‘s birth …

Posted: 21st, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Grazia | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chantelle And Preston’s Big Brother Divorce

chantelle-preston.jpgIT was always going to be a bold step when Chantelle Houghton gave up her career as a promising Paris Hilton look-alike to marry Preston and become a “celebrity couple”.

But things have not worked out. Chantelle’s place as Big …

Posted: 21st, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pete Doherty And Amy Winehouse: The Album

amy-winehouse.jpg“PETE: ME & AMY – Druggie stars ‘speak every day’.”

This is encouraging news. Although what Pete Doherty (“junkie”) and Amy Winehouse (“addict”) manage to say is unspecified in the Sun’s report.

We expect the pair will save the contents …

Posted: 21st, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mick Jagger’s Little Red Booster

mick-jagger-kaballah.jpgTO show that age has not withered him, Mick Jagger is showcasing a new look.

The Mail zooms in on Jagger’s right wrist and notes not a copper anti-arthritis bracelet, a big-hand watch nor a tissue tucked up a sleeve, …

Posted: 21st, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Brad And Angelina Support Group Is In Session

angelina-jolie-france.jpg“FURY AS ANGIE QUITS USA!” announces the National Enquirer.

Angie is Angelina Jolie, and America is outraged that she should pack up her home, her kids, some other kids and make for a new life in France.

“We’ve been very …

Posted: 20th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, National Enquirer | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Black And White Balls: Kate Moss’s Pal Plays The Amex Card

black-card.jpg A CLUE perhaps to we who have watched with interest Kate Moss, Peter Doherty and others taking what appear to be “drugs”.

We looked at the sometimes grainy pictures and made notes. We learnt about “lines” chopping”, “snorting” and “spoons”.…

Posted: 20th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Heather Mills Milks It For Charity, And A Rat

heather-mills-viva-2.jpgHEATHER Mills is in Speakers’ Corner, Hyde Park:

She arrives for the launch of a Viva campaign in a Mercedes 4×4. The engine is kept running, say reports.

Says Mills: “The startling truth is that animals farmed for met and …

Posted: 19th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Michael Parkinson First Victim Of David Beckham Effect

beckhams-parky.jpgIT is inevitable that the retirement of David Beckham from frontline football should trigger a domino effect.

Hairdressers will be forced to haul down images of the icon, and Man Tan of Croydon will be impelled to offer an OAP …

Posted: 19th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Celebrity Fake Bake: Sophie Anderton’s Vice Shame

sophie-anderton.jpg “I’M great at sex,” says Sophie Anderton. “I’ll look great on your f***ing arm. I’m a supermodel.”

Anderton is billed in the Sun as the “former I’m A Celebrity star”. It should not pass unnoticed that Anderton has also featured …

Posted: 19th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Getting Wind Of Heather Mills And Stella McCartney

heather-mills-leg1.jpgANTHEA Turner apart, no celebrity smells the same all the time. There are a million different scents for a million different celebrity moments.

Does an Oscar ceremony smell the same as a Bafta Awards do or the private hire car …

Posted: 18th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Paris Hilton’s Dirty Bath Video

paris-hilton-card.jpgPARIS Hilton has been to hell and back. Now she comes clean about all things in the News of the World’s clip of her in a bath.

Dirty “Paris jokes about her sex video scandals, swims around in the huge …

Posted: 18th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Britney Spears Looses It For Daytime Telly

BRITNEY Spears has yet to appear on the Jeremy Kyle show, talking about her broken marriages, her location-named children (Sean PRESTON and Jayden JAMES, site of the James Town massacre) and her drugs and self-esteem ishoos.

Britney is circling life’s …

Posted: 16th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Most Pointless Celebrity On Planet Earth

jordan-andre.jpgIN light of Anorak’s research, the Mail produces its own formula, this one for anyone wishing to “CALCULATE A CELEBRITY’S POINTLESSNESS”.

The formula takes onboard cash, band value, Google index, publicity, delinquency factor, actual talent and personal qualities.

The sums …

Posted: 16th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Amy Winehouse Re-Hydrates In Birmingham

amy-winehouse.jpgTHE Sun’s picture of Amy Winehouse dinking a class or orange juice only adds to her allure.

So talented is Winehouse – writing in the Sun, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber calls her the “new Ella Fitzgerald” in a “Judy Garland-style” …

Posted: 16th, November 2007 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0