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Celebrities | Anorak - Part 367

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Michelle Marsh In Agony

FOR the duration of Big Brother, former housemate Michelle Marsh is acting as agony aunt in the Daily Sport.

This week’s questions include:

“I am guy of 18 but have an embarrassing problem. When I was 15 I was wanking and wanted to try something different and thought it may be fin to try a vacuum”
Mark, Kent

“I’m 23 and am told I am a good looking guy but I have one problem – I get sweaty when I pull a bird”
Mike, Croydon

“My girlfriend of five months is perfect in many ways but has a very dark side. Every so often she insists I strip and allow her to tie me up and then whips me”
Peter, Wolverhampton

Says Michelle: “Catch me in Dick Whittington at the Bridlington Playhouse this Christmas”

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Danielle Lloyd Wears Bikini

DANIELLE Lloyd has checked into hotel in Florida, reports the Daily Sport and news wires. More to follow…

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chantelle Houghton Reveals…

CELEBRITY Big Brother winner Chantelle Houghton says her marriage to Preston is not in trouble. Chantelle’s fans will be delighted to hear the news, and we will be happy to relay the best wishes of Doris Winkle and her pet cat Galloway to the star’s agent.

Posted: 30th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Forget Big Brother Votting; Get Big Brother Betting

BIG Brother voters listen up:

Channel 4 has halved the cost of eviction voting for Big Brother and said it will not make any profit from phone services on this year’s show, which begins tomorrow.

The cost of calls to vote for Big Brother evictions will drop from 50p to 25p and Channel 4 has axed text voting altogether.

A 10p donation to charity will be made for each vote cast, with the remaining charge covering the costs incurred by Channel 4 to administer the system.

But keep your money. Instead bet on a male or female winner on Betfair. And get a free £10 bet with Anorak!

Posted: 29th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Over the Melanie Hill: Big Brother Suicide Watch

WITH Big Brother approaching faster than Jade Goody chasing a kebab van, the media is full of housemates past.

So here’s Melanie Hill to tell Big Brother hopefuls: “Don’t do it.”

Oh?

“On balance, I regret it,” says Melanie. “The thing that is priceless is your anonymity.”

Neither Mel, nor her agent, would disagree with that.

But Mel has not finished. Says she: “I seriously think it will not end until we have a suicide.”

Professional or literal, she doesn’t say…

Posted: 28th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother’s Hutton Report

ANTHONY Hutton won Big Brother 5 in 2005. Big Bother voyeurs will recall Hutton’s exploits in the Jacuzzi, specifically his making foamy bubbles with Makosi.

Hutton was the ladies man. He pulled Makosi. But then it turned out that for the right price anyone could pull the Zimbabwean nurse.

Undaunted by that, Hutton now says he has to fight women off with his stick. “I do have a lot of luck with the girls,” says Hutton. “They love a bloke off the telly. It’s so shallow – but I love it.”

But not as shallow as that bubble bath…

Posted: 28th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Russell Brand Moulds Big Brother’s Imogen

IMOGEN Thomas, Big Brother’s Miss Wales, has something to tell us.

And she’d best be quick. Bit Brother 8 starts next week and Imogen has but a few days to remind us of her continuing existence.

We join Imogen in bed with Big Brother host Russell Brand. Says Imogen: “I called him my Heineken lover—he helped me get to sexual peaks other fellas couldn’t reach.”

Having now delved into the bottom draw of our minds, we recall Imogen. She was indeed the housemate who did nothing. She barely spoke. She barely moved. If Brand is her Heineken lover, she’s is surely his mug of London tap in the last chance saloon.

“He is a sex machine,” say Imogen in the NOTW. “We had a fantastic time in bed. I remember one night we had sex for virtually 12 hours solid. I didn’t get a wink of sleep as he made love to me time and again.

“It was like tantric sex—the orgasm seemed to last forever. That’s how good Russell was.

“It’s the way he used his body—it wasn’t just thrusting but gentle touches and caresses and knowing what to do with his tongue.

Says Imogen: “He can turn a woman to jelly in bed.”

No, not into a quivering wreck. A jelly…

Posted: 27th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Australian Big Brother Contestant And A Slow Death

OVER on Big Brother Australia, housemate Emma Cornell’s father has died.

This from the Guardian:

What can you say? It feels vaguely nihilistic to begin a column with these words, but they do seem the appropriate response to waking up the morning after the damning Ofcom report into Channel 4′s handling of Big Brother, and discovering that a contestant in the Australian version has not been told her father has died.

Last week, Emma Cornell’s father, Raymond, died in a cancer hospice. He was buried a few days later. There appears to be some suggestion that Ms Cornell’s total ignorance of these developments is “what he would have wanted”. What can you say, in the name of sanity, other than that real life seems to have become the punchline to a particularly grim version of an old joke. The bad news is she’s missed the funeral, the good news is she’s still in with a chance of the cash prize and the guarantee of being written off as a tragic wannabe by the Australian equivalent of Heat magazine in three months’ time.

Posted: 26th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother Housemates Tarnished And Varnished

FOR those of you not in possession of the Freeview TV Guide, Davina McCall is talking about matters Big Brother.

Says she: “I think the house is no longer a stepping stone to fame…people have realised that once you’re an ex-Big Brother housemate, you’re tarnished”.

Tarnished? Surely, she means to say dipped in orangey tanning products…

Posted: 25th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother Told To, Er, Paki It In

big brother bigots.thumbnail Big Brother Told To, Er, Paki It InTHE news series of Big Brother is in “chaos”.

The Mirror’s front-age tells readers that TV watchdog Ofcom is not best pleased with what it has seen. It chastises Channel 4 for “serious errors of judgement” in last season’s Celebrity Big Brother.

That was the show that made a star of Shilpa Shetty. Victimised by Jade ‘Hoodie’ Goody, whale-voiced Danielle Lloyd and former SS Club 7 singer Jo O’Meara, Shilpa suffered. She then won the show and made a killing. Jade broke down and broke poppadoms India. Danielle got new breasts. And Jo disappeared in a puff of green smoke.

But the story is not over. And readers learn that elements of the abuse were censored.

It is revealed that housemates called Shilpa a “P***”. Why the Mirror uses stars and not the word “Paki” is a moot point. Is the word Paki the last taboo? If so, can someone please tell school children, name callers and England football fans who enliven matches with the delightful tune “I’d rather be a Paki than a [insert opposition here - Turk/Frog/ Kraut etc.]”.

There’s Shilpa on the front page of the star. Over there she’s being called a “P*ki”. These Star’s readers are made of stronger stuff.

And over four pages they learn that Channel 4 has been ordered to issue three apologies for broadcasting “offensive and unsuitable” footage in the Big Brother race row.

How awful this must be for Andy Duncan, head of Channel 4, and his minions. With Big Brother 8 about to start, the papers are chock full of stories about how the show shocks.

Channel 4 argues that it allowed the celebrities “freedom of expression”. And so it did. But why were some expressions edited out? That is neither free nor fair.

We heard Jade, Danielle and Jo’s bigotry and bullying. But why were we deprived of Jack joining the gang in making up a limerick about Shilpa being a Paki? His freedoms were curtailed.

Jo: There once was a house that was happy
Later
Jo: There once was a house that was happy, mi ni, mi ni, mi ni, mi ni, and then there entered…
Much later
Jade: Until there entered a…

We urge Jack to not let this matter slide. If a bigoted idiot is not allowed to be a bigoted idiot then something is amiss in reality TV. We’d wager that Jack’s human rights have been violated. He should sue.

Jo: There was young girl from Bombay…

And we should stay tuned. Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell tells us: “We will be watching very closely to ensure that these [rulings] have the desired effects.”

Jo: I’m not a racist person because my cousin is married to an Indian

She’ll be watching Big Brother. You’ll be watching Big Brother. It’s all having the desired effect…

Jade: When we three gonna meet again?
Jo: In rehab…
Danielle: When I’ve had me new breasts done
All three: When there’s a feature in the Sun…

Anon

Posted: 25th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Celebrity Big Brother: The Racism You Missed On Channel 4

THERE now follows a transcript of the bits Celebrity Big Brother you didn’t see, featuring Jade Goody, Danielle Lloyd, Jo O’Meara and Jack Tweed…

Big Brother
This is Big Brother. Could Danielle come to the diary room?

Jade
24 hours later?

Jo
Yeah, that you got told off.

Danielle
I can’t even remember saying anything.

Jade
I think I know. I don’t think it’s anything naughty like that. I think that… maybe Danielle used the ‘P’ word.

Jo
Oh, really?

Jade
Maybe.

Cleo
I don’t even know what ‘P’ word means. Don’t tell me, though.

Jo
Oh, you’re kidding. That’s bad.

Jade
No, I can imagine her saying that under her breath.
[DELETION OF DEFAMATORY REFERENCE TO A THIRD PARTY OUTSIDE THE HOUSE,FOR LEGAL REASONS]

Jo
Oh, that’s not good.

Jade
Maybe she didn’t. Maybe I’m just thinking it.

Jo
Oh, that’s naughty, naughty, naughty that is.

Danielle
Three bottles.

Jack
Tight bastards.

Jo
Three bottles of beer?

Danielle
Well, I’ll have a rosé. I’m not bothered.

Cleo
Do you know what, I’m fine not with any wine. I won’t sleep.

Jade
We’re only going to drink the whole bottle on our own.

Danielle
I’ll drink the rosé and give them half a bottle each.

Jade
There’s enough [inaudible], Cleo.

Danielle
Give them one and a half each and I’ll have a rosé, because I’m not bothered.

Cleo
I’m trying to work out what the ‘P’ word is.

Jade
Did you use the ‘P’ word?

Danielle
What’s the ‘P’ word?

Jack
It rhymes with ‘tacky’.

Jo
Keep it nice and discreet there Jack.

Danielle
I don’t know.

Jade
When the argument was going on, did you use the ‘P’ word that rhymes with ‘tacky’?

Danielle
No.

Jade
That’s what I thought. I thought, I can imagine her saying that under her breath or something.

Danielle
I don’t use them words.

Jo
Good.

Jade
That’s a good thing. I can’t imagine her going, ‘Oh, fuck off you…’

Tuesday 16th January 2007
Approx. 23:40:
[Cross talk]

Cleo
Just my luck.

Jade
What happened?

Cleo
Got full again.

Jade
Yeah, but I wanted a drink and it just went -

Cleo
Oh, I miss my huge mouth the whole time. It’s so embarrassing in restaurants when you go like this and… That’s why I never drink red. It really shows. No. It’s not going for you.

Jo
There once was a house that was happy.

Jade
I’ve got a great one, but I’m not allowed to say it.

Danielle
Why? Why? I want to know.

Cleo
She can’t if she can’t say it.
[Cross talk]

Jo
There once was a house that was happy, ‘mi ni mi ni mi ni mi ni’ and then there entered…

Cleo
You’re all going to go to Big Brother prison.

Danielle
How do you know what -

Cleo
And you’re going to need me -

Jo
But it ends with a nappy. What’s wrong with you people?

Jack
But if you say, ‘Along came some people who were tacky’.

Jade
There once was a house that was happy, until…

Jack
They made it really tacky.

Jade
Until there entered a… Until there entered a…

Jo
Strappy… Strap-on.

Jack
Strap-on

Jade
No, no, no, there once was a house that was happy…

Jo
Until someone got yappy.

Jade
Yes. There once was a house that was happy, until someone got yappy.

Jack
She nearly killed everyone with a chicken.

Cleo
But everything ended up finger-lickin’.

Jo
Now you’ve got to do something that rhymes with a nappy.

Cleo
Oh, God, don’t give that to Danielle, for God’s sake.

Danielle
And it all ended up – Being crappy.

Cleo
Oh, dear me.

Jo
Right.

Danielle
That could have been rather disturbing, that.

Jo
That was a good one.

Wednesday 17th January 2007
Approx. 00:13:

Jo
…claim to fame was your argument with her.

Jade
Yeah, with her.

Jo
Because of the argument they had. She said, ‘You know what, Jade, this is going to be your claim to fame’.

Jade
Because she’s a god.

Danielle
Is that what she said?

Jo
Yeah, she did.

Jade
‘This is going to be your claim to fame’.

Jo
‘This is going to be your claim to fame’.

Jade
[Inaudible] I don’t know her surname. Shilpa Pashwa fucking whoever you are, Shilpa Poppadom, I fucking… Oooh.

Jack
Stop it.

Jo
Calm down. It’s finished.

Jade
I am fuming and I know that it’s not going to lie, because I know, when I look at her tomorrow, I’m going to be feeling sick. I cannot stay…I cannot stay in this house and I will never walk -

Jo
There was a young girl from Bombay…

Jade
No, let’s not do that. I will not walk, because I’ve never let it get to me, but I tell you what, if I go, that will probably be the best thing for me – a bloody godsend – because I’ll end up smashing her head against… No, I won’t, because I’m not violent.

Jo
Jack’s like, ‘Yeah, uh-huh’.

Cleo
I think it will probably be better -

Jo
Drink another beer.

Cleo
To change the subject because I don’t want you to get into… I’m very passionate, and I think we all are. When you get that angry, you use -

Jo
No, I think that today’s argument was a nasty argument.
[Cross talk]

Jade
I’m common and I need… I need to go and get elocution lessons because I’m common? How dare she turn her nose up at me? I’m not one of her
pissing servants. She’s in a house with nine other people, which are normal people. Jermaine Jackson is a fucking legend – you don’t hear him talking down to people. You don’t hear him turning his nose up to
people.

Jo
You don’t really get much bigger than Jackson.

Jade
No, you don’t. You don’t hear him say -

Jo
And he’s the quietest, nicest, most genuine person.

Cleo
Yeah, I love him.

Jo
Genuinely, a genuine person who’s lovely.

Cleo
He is genuine.

Jo
And I’ve got to be honest, I have witnessed things myself with sniggering and whispering and talking -

Jade
Jack did. Jack was in there the other day, in that kitchen, it was just
him and Jermaine -

Jo
She done it about me with Dirk over the whisky.

Jade
Shilpa walked into the kitchen, looked at Jack, whispered to Jermaine and laughed. Jack said to me, ‘Oh, my God’. I was just this close to
saying something to Shilpa.

Saturday 20th January 2007
Approx. 19:47
DIARY ROOM WITH JO O’MEARA:

Jo
I thought I was coming to collect some beers.

Big Brother
Hello, Jo.

Jo
Hello.

Big Brother
Jo, please could you switch off your microphone and take the battery out for Big Brother please? You should still know you’re being recorded.

Jo
Okay. Am I in trouble? There you go.

Big Brother
Thanks, Jo. Jo, Big Brother would like to make it clear that what we’re about to talk about is a matter that Big Brother has decided to raise with you. Just to be clear, this has not come from any of the other
housemates. Do you understand?

Jo
Right. I think so.

Big Brother
To clarify, Big Brother has decided to raise this matter with you.

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
Jo, it has only now come to Big Brother’s attention that you have made remarks that Big Brother considers to be racially offensive.

Jo
Oh, you’re kidding. Like what?

Big Brother
On Tuesday night, which was day 14 in the Big Brother house, you and other housemates were playing a game where you were making up limericks about Shilpa.

Jo
Yeah.

Big Brother
As part of this game, you used rhyming slang to replace what other housemates called ‘the “P” word’. The rhyming slangs you used were the words -

Jo
I never said the ‘P’ word.

Big Brother
The rhyming slang you used were the words ‘nappy’, ‘happy’ and ‘strappy’, amongst others.

Jo
That depends on how you take it. I’m not a racist person at all, ever, and I never, ever have been. I know that.

Big Brother
Jo, it’s clear to Big Brother that, in this conversation, this game, that these rhyming words were references to the racial insult ‘Paki’.

Jo
Right, okay.

Big Brother
Do you understand that this is considered racially offensive language?

Jo
Yes, I do. I didn’t… really didn’t mean it in that way, though.

Big Brother
Big Brother would like to give you some time to respond.

Jo
I don’t know how to respond to that, to be honest. I don’t consider myself to be racist at all, against anybody or any religion or… and, like, if Jermaine is praying or Shilpa’s praying, I always stay out of
the room, I stay out of the way and I let them do what they do, and I ask questions about it and… and I want to know more about their religions and stuff. I don’t see that as a problem at all. I didn’t realise the seriousness of it and I apologise if I offended anybody, but I never, ever meant to.

Big Brother
Do you remember the incident?

Jo
Yeah, I do.

Big Brother
Can you take Big Brother through your version of the events?

Jo
Oh, God, I don’t know if I remember it to that extreme. It was just playing rhyming slangs and I was just… So you say whatever. You say lots of different stuff.

Big Brother
Do you remember any of the lines of the limerick?

Jo
Do you know what, I really don’t, because in here, we were talking earlier on about being in the servants’ quarters, and that feels like about three or four months ago. So, no, I don’t, to be honest.

Big Brother
Do you remember who was involved in the game?

Jo
Me… the same people that always play the limerick game, so that would be me, Jade, Dan… maybe Cleo. She sometimes plays. And Jack.

Big Brother
In the limerick, do you remember what you intended the words ‘happy’,’strappy’ -

Jo
Well, no, because it could’ve… we could’ve said anything. It didn’t necessarily have to mean that. Do you know what, it didn’t even mean that. It’s just how you take it. You come out with all different
stuff. We’ve come up with loads of rude things playing that game. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s intended to be racist.

Big Brother
Jo, during the game, Jack said that the word rhymed with ‘tacky’.

Jo
Well then, that’s Jack, isn’t it? That’s not me.

Big Brother
Do you understand how it might have been considered racist to be using a rhyming slang that rhymed with ‘Paki’?

Jo
Yeah, I can now, but do you know what, I didn’t really take much notice of it at the time. It’s just… you just play silly games in this house and do silly things when there’s nothing to do, so you just find ways of trying to entertain yourself. Today’s been another day which has been really tough for everyone because we’ve not had anything to do again. And it’s getting to that point now where everyone’s, like, ‘Ugh’. I never meant for it to be that way, and if it was that way, then I apologise.

Big Brother
Jo, just to be clear, do you understand that the word, and any inference using rhyming slang of that word, could consider… could be considered to be racially offensive?

Jo
Yes.

Big Brother
Jo, Big Brother will not tolerate any racist behaviour or anything that could be seen to be racist behaviour in the Big Brother house.

Jo
Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m not a… I’m not racist at all, though. That’s the thing. I’m really, really not. Really not. I’ve not seen eye-to-eye with Shilpa throughout this whole game, and I’m not going to
start pretending that she’s my best friend but she’s a… I’ve got on a lot better with her today than I have throughout the whole show.

Big Brother
Why do you think that is?

Jo
I have got no idea. I really, really don’t know, but… I just think the group is slowly starting to get smaller now and you’ve got to start spending time with different people, because people are going. I think, is it six people, have left now. And I suppose, as the group gets smaller and the people you’re left with, you… you have to communicate
more and talk more with, so I’ve been speaking a lot more today, and I’ve spoken a lot more to Jermaine today as well. We’ve been playing games. And I know that I’m not a racist person because my cousin is
married to an Indian and half of the side of, like, that side of my family are all Indian. So I’m not a racist person at all. All my cou… I’d say, well… my cousin’s married to an Indian man and they’ve
got four children and all their… his family interact with my family, so I’m surrounded by Indians a lot, because they’re part of my family, so I wouldn’t be racist. My cousins are Indian.

Big Brother
Jo, as a result of this incident, Big Brother has no option but to issue you with your first and only formal warning.

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
Any further incidents could result in your immediate eviction.

Jo
Okay. So I’ve had a warning and that’s my last one.

Big Brother
Correct.

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
Jo, Big Brother would ask that you exercise care in the future.

Jo
Yes, I will, and I’m very, very sorry.

Big Brother
Big Brother would also like to remind you that, as always, all diary room conversations between Big Brother and housemates are confidential.

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
Do you understand?

Jo
Yes, I do.

Big Brother
Jo, Big Brother has arranged for you to have a short conversation, off camera -

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
With Steven, the psychologist. A brief chat to talk through this matter in confidence, for your benefit.

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
Big Brother will now hand over to Steven.

Jo
Okay.

Big Brother
There may be a short pause while we ensure that the diary room is not being recorded.

Jo
Thank you.

Big Brother
Thanks, Jo.

Jo
Thanks.

Saturday 20th January 2007
Approx. 20:20 – DIARY ROOM WITH JACK TWEED:

Jack
Hello.

Big Brother
Hello, Jack.

Jack
Hello.

Big Brother
Jack, please could you switch off your microphone and take the battery out, please? You should know that you are still being recorded.

Jack
Done

Big Brother
Thanks. Jack, please listen carefully.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Big Brother would like to, first of all, make very clear that what we are about to talk about is a matter that Big Brother has decided to raise with you.

Jack
All right.

Big Brother
Just to be clear, this has not come from any of the other housemates. Do you understand?

Jack
Yeah, I understand.

Big Brother
Jack, it has only now come to Big Brother’s attention that you have made remarks that Big Brother considers to be racially offensive.

Jack
Like what?

Big Brother
On Tuesday night, day 14 in the Big Brother house -

Jack
Yeah.

Big Brother
You and other housemates were playing a game where you were making up limericks about Shilpa.

Jack
Yeah.

Big Brother
You were using rhyming slang to replace what you called ‘the “P” word’.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
You said the word rhymed with ‘tacky’.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
It is clear to Big Brother, Jack, that this was a reference to the racial insult ‘Paki’.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Do you understand that this is considered racially offensive language?

Jack
Yeah, okay.

Big Brother
What do you have to say about this, Jack?

Jack
I was explaining the word that someone that was meant to have rhymed with the word. I wasn’t actually saying the word.

Big Brother
Do you mean you were trying to include the word in the limerick but were using another word to replace it?

Jack
I can’t really remember what exactly happened but I think… that someone said ‘I know a word that rhymes with that’ and then I clocked on to what it was and then explained what the word was, but didn’t actually
say the word.

Big Brother
Do you remember why… how the word came up in the first place?

Jack
No, I can’t remember.

Big Brother
Do you remember playing the limerick game that night?

Jack
Sort of.

Big Brother
Do you remember who was playing it?

Jack
No. Me, Jade, Cleo, Jo and Danielle.

Big Brother
And where you were playing it?

Jack
In the lounge.

Big Brother
And do you remember the approximate time that you were playing it at?

Jack
No, I’m not sure.

Big Brother
Any idea?

Jack
No, I wouldn’t… No, sorry, I wouldn’t have a clue.

Big Brother
Was it afternoon, early evening, late evening?

Jack
Late evening, I’d say.

Big Brother
Jack, do you understand that the ‘P’ word – Paki -

Jack
Yeah.

Big Brother
Is considered to be racist?

Jack
Yeah, I fully understand.

Big Brother
And that simply by replacing the word with a word that rhymes with it doesn’t take away from the racial insult?

Jack
I wasn’t saying it to anyone. I was explaining what the word… what the word is. That’s why, in a conversation, you’re allowed to say, ‘The
word “Paki” is a racist remark’. That’s why you’re allowed to say it. So I wasn’t saying, ‘That girl is a Paki’; I was saying ‘the word is that’.

Big Brother
You’ve suggested that the word ‘tacky’ could be included in a limerick. Correct?

Jack
Yeah, I think so, yeah.

Big Brother
So would it be fair to say that you were making light of the inclusion of the word ‘Paki’ in a limerick with the group.

Jack
I think so, yeah. I can’t really remember the whole conversation that we had.

Big Brother
Jack, was the limerick about Shilpa?

Jack
I think… I really can’t remember. I think so. I don’t know.

Big Brother
Jack, Big Brother is going to remind you of the limerick.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Jo began: ‘There once was a house that was happy’. You then said:
‘Until…’ Jo said: ‘And then there entered…’ Cleo then interrupted and said, ‘You are all going to BB prison’. Jo said: ‘And then there entered a nappy’. You then said: ‘Or, if you say, “Or along came some
people who was tacky”‘.

Jack
Yeah. So that wasn’t referring to the word ‘Paki’. That was just people who was tacky.

Big Brother
Jack, in a previous conversation, you had substituted the word ‘tacky’ for the word ‘Paki’.

Jack
In that limerick just then, I wasn’t at all suggesting that the word was meant to be ‘Paki’. I was saying tacky, as in tacky people. I wasn’t – not at all.

Big Brother
Jack, do you understand that some people may consider what you said to be racially offensive?

Jack
Yeah, some people who got the wrong end of the stick, I would, yeah. Can I just ask: is this… What, is this out in the paper, because if it is, I’d rather just leave now.

Big Brother
Jack, Big Brother wants you to understand that this word could be considered to be racist. Do you understand that?

Jack
Yeah, I understand that.

Big Brother
And that Big Brother will not tolerate any racist behaviour or anything that could be seen to be racist behaviour in the Big Brother house?

Jack
Yeah.

Big Brother
Jack, as a result of this incident, Big Brother is now issuing you with your first and only formal warning about this.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Any further incidents could result in your immediate eviction.

Jack
Okay. Could I just… Can you just please tell me if this is out in the paper or anything like that, if anything’s out there suggesting, because if it is, I’d rather just leave now.

Big Brother
Jack, just listen for a second.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Big Brother would ask that you exercise some care in the future with your language.

Jack
Yeah.

Big Brother
And Big Brother would like to remind you that, as always, all diary room conversations between Big Brother and housemates are confidential.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Do you understand?

Jack
Yeah. Thank you.

Big Brother
Jack, Big Brother has arranged for you to have a short
conversation, off-camera, with Steven, the psychologist, to talk through this matter
in confidence.

Jack
Right.

Big Brother
Big Brother will now hand over to Steven. There may be a short pause while we ensure that the diary room is not being recorded.

Jack
Okay.

Big Brother
Okay?

Jack
Okay. Thank you.

Posted: 25th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother’s Moyles

CHRIS Moyles is to host the Big Brother spin-off Big Brother’s Big Mouth.

The Radio 1 DJ replaces Russell Brand.

Moyles will only last a week. Then another presenter will take over.

Such straw weight entertainers include Peaches Geldof, Steve Marsh and Dan Wright, from children’s TV’s Big Cook Little Cook, and er…

Well, anyone else who can stand it. What price Jade Goody?

Posted: 24th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jade Goody Slips Under The Wire

JADE Goody is back. Did she ever go away?

Says Jade, described as “Dippy” in the Mirror and not replusive or racist: “In a really ideal world, I’d like to have something done so they can sort out my brain.”

Oh?

“I have the correct wires but they just need rewiring and sorting out.”

And plugging into the mains…

Posted: 23rd, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Devout Muslim In Big Brother House

BIG Brother is to feature a “burka babe”.

Phwar (on terror) indeed as the Star says Big Brother is on the verge of selecting a Muslim girl with strict Islamic views.

It seems that after much head scratching, Big Brother’s producers have decided that a “devout Muslim wearing a veil or headscarf would command respect in the house.” It would, er, Mecca it great.

And ever better, the Star says the housemates will be able to “educate the others about her beliefs and customzzzzzzz…”

Posted: 23rd, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother Danielle Lloyd Goes The Gay Way

SAYS Big Brother bully Danielle Lloyd: “I might have to become a lesbian. It seems all footballers are cheats. I don’t know why I go out with them. But no normal blokes ask me out – only footballers. I think I must look unapproachable.”

Surely not. Although since her breasts were inflated, it is harder than ever to get close to the real Danielle.

“I think I need to be single now and just concentrate and on me and my career for a bit.”

Agreed. Danielle should have more me time. Although since her career consists of dating footballers, we wonder how she will pass the time?

And if the Arsenal Ladies team need a couple of new balls…

Posted: 23rd, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Raspberry Ripple: Nikki Grahame’s New Breasts

NIKKI Grahame, the Big Brother star with the Vanessa Feltz disorder, has equipped herself with new primary sexual characteristics.

“I never liked the shape,” says Nikki of her new £5,500 breasts. “They didn’t put the implants under he muscle so I started to get rippling.”

Nikki’s new breasts look reassuringly ripple-free and altogether incapable of any movement…

Posted: 22nd, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother Call Centre Scam

nikki grahame.thumbnail Big Brother Call Centre ScamBIG Brother is a fix!

No, not in the way you think. The show will not be embroiled in a scandal in which an evicted housemate will be allowed to re-enter the house. It won’t be like last year.

This year, the threat is that Big Brother will be fixed by an “EVIL” Far East gang. They aim to make millions by rigging evictions.

No. Wrong again. The villains won’t fix the show by careful editing, portraying the less busty, less alluring and less whacky contestants in a bad light.

No. The Star says the “murderous” Far East mob have “access to technology which can be used to hijack the public vote”.

What technology? The Star does not say. But when it tells us that Shilpa Shetty’s victory in Celebrity Big Brother has raised the show’s profile in India, we begin to think.

And we wonder if so many Indian call centre workers are to be recruited in a phone line fixing scandal? Will they reroute calls meant for the BT complaints department to Armani’s Big Brother voting line?

Look out for this? And more…

Posted: 21st, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother’s Danielle Lloyd Escapes

missgb warrington 400.thumbnail Big Brothers Danielle Lloyd EscapesBIG Brother’s Danielle Lloyd is excited.

Dressed in a white bikini, Danielle tells Star readers: “It’s absolutely stunning, so I have everything crossed that it ends up being mine.”

“It” is not a footballer. “It” is not a new set of breasts. And whether Danielle can cross everything or anything is a matter for the celebrity circus.

She is talking about what might be her new £1.7million villa in the Algarve. “I can’t wait to have somewhere to escape to with my friends,”
says she.

The villa boasts a tennis court, waterfall and small golf course. There is no shortage of places for Dani to dress up in little white shorts, plus twos and get her skin wet.

But she might not get her dream home. She has only made an offer. Which might mean she has to wear her new outfits somewhere else. Like in the Star…

Posted: 21st, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Richard Branson On Big Brother

VIRGIN Media sponsors Big Brother 8. And the company’s boss, Richard Branson, is going to arrive on the show for a special guest appearance.

A show source tells the Star: “What better way to show how pleased we are having him as Big Brother sponsor than by having him on the show?

“It will be a huge surprise for the housemates this year.

“We are planning to have Richard give the contestants a task – probably something business related.

“He will stay the day seeing them do the challenge and return 24 hours later to reveal who the winner is. And he’ll hand them a special reward.”

Sounds not a bit unlike The Apprentice.

But what will Branson give the winning housemate? Fellow bearded Midas Alan Sugar gives his winner a £100,000-a-year job.

What price Branson giving them a Virgin Rail ticket, a can of virgin cola or a real life virgin?

Posted: 20th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother 8′s Sex Chimp

big brother sex.thumbnail Big Brother 8s Sex ChimpTHIS year’s Big Brother will feature a…

Ok. To make it even more exciting, we’ll let the audience participate.

This year’s Big Brother will feature:
a) An orange bigot with nipples adapted to dispense curry sauce (left) and vodka and pineapple (right)
b) A chimpanzee called Armani
c) A bisexual nymphomaniac

They might all be correct answers. But the Star today sticks with the sensational news that Big Brother 8 will be populated by a twentysomething-year-old secretary who can’t get by without sex.

Readers may well recall last season’s Richard, who arrived under the banner the “Sexual Terrorist”.

On one level Richard was right: the idea of sex with the Canadian pedant was truly terrible. But on the other level– the idea that he would prowl the Big Brother rooms like an urban guerrilla, threatening to blow (up) everyone and everything in sight was overstated.

So what of this new sex addict? She is blonde. She claims to have slept with more than 200 lovers since her teens.

An insider tells us:

“Having a bisexual contestant who also happens to be a nympho is a double bonus because you’re definitely guaranteed some romps.

“With the show lasting three months, she is gonna be chasing the lads – and the lasses – every week. This girl has no inhibitions whatsoever.

“All wannabes are always asked: ‘Would you have sex on TV?’ And most of them say ‘Yes’, thinking this will guarantee them a place on the show.

“But in their heart of hearts they would never have nookie in front of millions of viewers.

“But producers can suss who is lying and with this woman they could see she would live up to expectations.

“She made no bones about the fact that she’d have sex on telly, or, indeed, anywhere.

“She even joked: ‘I’ll have it in the car park in front of Davina, if you want.’ So it looks like all the housemates are going to be in for a shock when she turns up.

“The girl is sex mad.”

Big Brother 8 promises to be quite some show. What with the binge drinking, the fighting and the sex, it will be like watching CCTV in better focus…

Posted: 19th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother 8 Contestants Revealed

preparation h.thumbnail Big Brother 8 Contestants RevealedTHIS season’s Big Brother will feature a gay couple.

Stephen Ireland and James Joell will appear in the show and maybe even get married.

Not that the happy couple will be the only gays in the house as the Star says half this year’s housemates are either homosexual or bisexual. Yes, only half. It’s all change in the house.

But it is Ireland and Joell who capture the minds. A source tells us: “They’re both naturally funny and are desperate to break the gay stereotype.”

A picture of both men in the Star reveals them well on their way to achieving their goal. Neither men fit the Big Brother gay mould. They are not so much buffed as sand blasted. Less six pack than beer bellied.

We have not seen as many love handles since the time Old Mr Anorak took us on a fact finding mission behind the doors of his Bangkok ping-pong camp.

Stephen Ireland and James Joell will break the big Brother gay mould – into very small pieces…

Posted: 18th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (17) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Betfair Gives Anorak Readers Free Big Brother Money

ANORAK has partnered with Betfair for this season’s Big Brother. (We have to pay the bills.) And all Anorak customers will be in line for a FREE £10 bet! Open a Betfair account through Anorak and the betting giant will give you the cash to play with. You can bet it all in one go or break it down into 5 bets of £2. It is real money and you can withdraw it at any time!
More to follow…

Posted: 17th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Taking Big Brother’s Jodie Marsh Up The Aisle

jodie marsh breasts.thumbnail Taking Big Brothers Jodie Marsh Up The AisleBEFORE JADE Goody and Shilpa Shetty, Jodie Marsh was the celebrity victim of bullying on Celebrity Big Brother.

Sadly, Marsh is no Shetty and comes blessed with all the grace, poise and hue of last night’s chicken tiki massala. Jodie’s post-Big Brother career has not gone from strength to strength.

Jodie has not been kissed by Richard Gere, as Shilpa famously has. In fact, Jodie would be happy to be kissed by anyone. As the front page headline reads: “Jodie Marsh: I want to marry a Daily Sport reader.”

Chances are considerably high that many readers of the Daily Sport, with its diet of Orlaith McAllister’s arse and adverts for porn, are either a) married; b) adolescents too young to get married; c) unable to understand the question.

But not to worry, because Jodie is coming to get you. Wearing a belt, a pelmet and a veil, Jodie announces her plan to find a man.

“I’ve decided to do something completely outrageous,” says Jodie. Is she going to have anal sex with Orlaith McAllister? “I’m desperate to settle down with the man of my dreams, so I’m launching a nationwide search to find a husband.”

Far be it from us to dabble in affairs of the heart, but we suggest Jodie lend her quest an international bent and head to places like Russia, China and all other lands where men would dearly love to marry a British girl.

“If you think you’ve got what I want in a man, I’d really love to meet you in person at my open auditions,” says Jodie.

As is the way of such things, the auditions will be filmed and form the central plank in MTV’s Totally Jodie Marsh: Who’ll Take Her Up The Aisle?”

What form the auditions will take is not outlined, but expect to see men tested for how quickly they can varnish Jodie and any one of a number of itchy diseases…

Update: Is that orange colour the result of penicillin?

Posted: 17th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (177) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Big Brother’s Orlaith McAllister Swallows Her…Pride

orlaith mcallister.thumbnail Big Brothers Orlaith McAllister Swallows Her...Pride “BIG Brother star emeritus Orlaith McAllister is today conducting “The most outrageous celebrity interview ever”.

Orlaith, who appears on the cover of the Daily Sport organ dressed in a thong and bra, is on hand to talk about her “first time”, her “kinkiest sex acts” and her “one-night stand with ‘huge’ Calum Best”.

Inside the paper, spread across the centre pages in poster format, Big Brother’s Orlaith gives Best 11 out of 10.

Interestingly, Orlaith’s night with Best was also her first time with a “MASSIVE WILLY”. “I think size is important,” says Orliath, who has proved the point by having her chest inflated.

Other questions and answers follow.

In the interests of research readers learn when Orlaith conducted her “first hand job”, “first time received oral sex”, “first blow-job”, “first time you swallowed”, first shag” and “first time bum fun”.

Orlaith then tells readers she is “quite partial to orgasms”, in a way we imagine other women are quite partial to a glass of sherry and Radio 4.

Orlaith is available for pantomime, presenting work and anal sex…

Posted: 17th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bass Relief: Catching Up With Big Brother’s Michelle

michelle bass.thumbnail Bass Relief: Catching Up With Big Brothers MichelleWHO knew that when Michelle Bass entered the Big Brother house she would go on to dye her hair an orangey yellow?

Back then celebrity for Michelle was so much dreaming. But now Michelle is a glamour mo-del and earning what OK! optimistically calls “a decent living”.

Michelle has just run the London Marathon. She says her knee “went” at 16 miles so she walked. Then her hip stated hurting. So she limped. Then the elastic in her knickers snapped and she smiled for the cameras.

“I had to sit on the grass and my leg seized up,” says Michelle. “So four ambulance men came over with their wheelie trolley and put an ice pack on my knee.”

And this is how Michelle came to win the disabled race? No. But she did finish, which is more than her Big Bother agonist Kinga managed.

And that is not all. Michelle was in a film, with Carmen Electra. “I thought she wouldn’t want to speak to me, so I just stared at her until she did,” says Bass. “In the end she asked me what Marks & Spencer is and we talked about it for a couple of minutes.”

Oh… “Knickers,” says Bass. And bras, perhaps? Michelle has a well-filled bra, it being inflated from a C to a DD. “You know what,” says she, “I got my boob job and I’ve not looked back since I got them done.”

Can’t turn for the sore knees, right? And the strain on the vertebrae of having two airbags strapped to your chest?

And being in love. Michelle is with a therapist called Steve. “We’ve been together for three months. But you know what, it feels longer,” says Michelle candidly.

But she’ll make a go of it.

We learn that Steve was Michelle’s therapist. They met on a night out.

“He has his own practice and he put you in a hypnotic state and unravels things in your mind that you didn’t know were there.”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Posted: 16th, May 2007 | In: Big Brother TV | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0