Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
STUART Hall OBE, verbose and florid BBC Radio 5 commentator and former host of TV’s It’s a Knock Out host has been arrested on suspicion of rape and indecent assault.
The 82-year-old was tonight being questioned on suspicion of rape and indecent assault as his home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, was searched by detectives.
A spokesman for Lancashire Police says:
“An 82 year old man from Wilmslow in Cheshire has this morning been arrested by Lancashire Police at his home address on suspicion of rape and indecent assault. The man will be interviewed at a police station during the course of the day. The allegations are historic. We are not prepared to discuss further.”
PARIS Hilton has been in India. She wore an orange spot on the bridge of her nose. Her third eye was winking. She then killed music. There were no anti-porn protests: Read the rest of this entry »
Read the rest of this entry »
THERE is now so much entertainment out there theta the EU’s celebrity silos are at breaking point. You can know about people being famous whilst having no idea why they are famous. Take Adam Levine an Honey Boo.
I’ve only ever read about them in magazines on on the internet. A quick look reveals that Honey Boo Boo is the child star of a pisspoor reality telly show in which she is ridiculed by the knowing in exchange for being written about and having bars of fat tossed into her cage. Levine has tattoos, stiff hair and current fashions. He is either a footballer (which he isn’t) or a pop singer (which he is).
Adam is also a judge on a TV pro-am singing contest called The Voice, in which he pretends to be blind.
IN April 1963, comedian Lenny Bruce (nee Leonard Alfred Schneider) was refused entry to Britain. Why? It was “in the public interest”. He had said things deemed to be “obscene” in the US. The UK was not taking any chances. Bruce might say obscene words here. He was put on a plane and sent back to New York. In 1964, Bruce was convicted after a six-month trial of using obscene words in his stage show.
ARE Ashley Roberts (Pussy Cat Doll and I‘m A Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! runner up) and Declan Donnelly (TV’s Dec and I’m a Celeb jokester) dating? Last week the Daily Star told us: “Ash & Dec’s secret Jungle Date.”
Yes, then. Dating! The exclusive went on:
Sex-starved TV babe Ashley Roberts wants a date with I’m A Celebrity host Declan Donnelly after leaving the jungle, we can reveal.
“No-one on the planet should be as famous as me.”
Sheesh! She sounds nuts.
HELEN Flanagan says, “I WANTED TO KILL MYSELF” on the Sun’s front page. Flanagan is the former Coronation Street actress with the chest of a sex siren and the eyes that indicate inner workings amazed by toast. Dressed in a bikini and turning her arm to best display a Marilyn Monroe tattoo on her wrist, “the I’m A Celebrity star was pushed to the point of no return by a secret depression she believes she has now overcome”.
For anyone vapid celebrity wishing to carve out a career in reality TV and tabloids surviving depression is a must. The star’s back catalogues should also include: bullying (victim is better but perpetrator can be ok so long as she soon becomes a victim), insecurity (“I hated my breasts when I was 8″ etc.), a sex tape, a footballer, the ability to talk about being bi-polar as if everyone knows what you’re talking about and a cancer scare.
“SAVILE PROBE CELEB IS SUICIDAL,” declares the Mirror’s front-page headline. The story of Jimmy Savile and paedophilia is high places is now about one man’s survival.
The paper trills:
A close friend of the fourth celebrity quizzed by the Jimmy Savile probe squad yesterday accused police of indiscriminately rounding up suspects.
WHO painted the Jimmy Savile survivor on the wall of BBC Television Centre at London’s White City? The artwork features a boy dangling his Jim’ll Fix It medal over a drain. The lad also wears a Blue Peter badge on his jacket.
PROPERTY porn time now: Iron Maiden’s Steve Harris is selling his 7 bedroom detached house, Sheering Hall in Harlow, Essex.
ANGELINA Jolie, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston (aka Poor Jen) are pillars of the tabloid magazines.The Brangelina industry is huge. The Jen-Brad-Angelina love triangle is a prism of untruth, half-truths and gossip. The saga of betrayal, love, sex romance, marriage, divorce, separation, reunion and rowing moves on with each deadline in the National Enquirer, In Touch and Star magazines. How much do we believe? What are the stories’ sources? Jolie can only adopt so many children; Pitt can only wear so many hats; Aniston can only toss her hair so much. But when the story has limits, the wily editor looks to cover emotions: Jen shocked; Jen hurt; Brad confused; Angelina furious and so on.
WILL Muhammad Shahid Nazir, 31, aka £1 Fish Man, deliver the Christmas Number 1? His The £1 Fish Song is in all good and bad record shops on 9 December.
Nazir, who sings his song at Queen’s Market, Upton Park, London, has signed a deal with Warners.
The B-side does not feature a Turkey Song, which is disappointing…
ON a game called Door To Door, I’m a Celebrity foddeUKIPr Charlie Brooks was invited to open a door. Pick the right door from five and she’d get a prize. The prize was a child called Kiki. Jimmy Savile had not fixed it for Kiki to meet Charlie. Kiki is Charlie’s daughter. She’s seven.
Charlie picked the door marked UKIP Rotherham and instead of a child got herpes or congenital warts. She said it was “heartbreaking” not see her kid. She said it was a “kick in the guts“. She then went and sat on a log in a TV studio in the Australian rainforest and bemoned her luck.
YOKO Ono has designed range of clothing for Opening Ceremony. The outfits are based on Yoko’s drawings from 1969. She had intended John Lennon to wear them - to “celebrate John’s hot bod”. She gave Lennon the sketches as a wedding gift. The clothes scream one thing: John asking Yoko, “Did you get a gift receipt, love?”
The mesh cut out shits cost $145.00. The kneeless Conservative Pants are yours for £255. And the Hand Trousers are $335.00. For that money you can go to a tailor in Thailand and get an actual hand stuck to your cotton crotch. The hand will even do the ironing and tell you how great you look…
TURN up the central heating. Jedward L-R (John and Edward Grimes) have unveiled their waxworks at the National Wax Museum in Dame Street, Dublin. Egads! The horrors are on a production line!
PS – Stan Laure’s tongue follows you around the room.
THE first rule about Spy Club is keeping your big, stupid mouth shut. However, have a particularly large and imbecilic gob, Dean Gaffney (pictured) missed the memo and has been telling everyone that he’s applied for a job at MI5.
Apparently, the thundering dimwit responded to an online advert for a Mobile Surveillance Officer with the secret service.
WHEN Lee Latchford Evans (STEPS) married “sweetheart Kerry”, OK! magazine was there to record every moment. One highlight, as ever is the reception food: “butternut squash soup or goats cheese salad followed by Mediterranean vegetable stack or roast chicken sinner, finished off with a trio of desserts including apple crumble, chocolate brownies and a creme brulee that exploded in the mouth.” The other highlight was this from Lee:
OK: “Tell us about your first dance…”
Lee: “We’re doing it to She’s The One by Robbie Williams. I was going to surprise Kerry and get him to come down and sing it as I know a few peopels who know him, but unfortunately it didn’t work out…”
HOW do we know when the black man is free? Writing in the Guardian, Kieran Yates knows:
Jay-Z, truffles and the transformation of bling
As a lover of white truffles, a stereotypically upper class food, the rapper is bolstering a new kind of black identity
You don’t have to eat truffles to be black, but…?
So Jay-Z has shelled out an eye-watering €15,000 on three kilos of white truffles on a recent holiday to Italy… But what does this extravagant detail say about the Jay-Z brand?