Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
TERRY Nutkins has died. You can read about his interesting life here. You can see the tribute video hereunder. The youth loved him:
HOW can you not enjoy Lady Gaga, a little, lithe, dance-bodied twenty-something New Yorker who dresses from the deli counter and emerges on the Twickenham stage from a giant eyeball-veined womb, like a fairytale queen on a bag of rosy red apples about to be sieved through her metal fascinator? They comes to pay obeisance to the woman who pulls off knickers, bra and fishnets in public. They are not disappointed. Gaga includes the fans. She sings the hits with enthusiasm. She is self-indulgent, and unafraid of vocalising her opinions, notably on gays in the military. Sometimes she takes drugs. She compliments all, any and each sex on its appeal. Lady Gaga is the popstar you want to solve the problem presented by all the ones you don’t want. Now, what do you wear to meet her?
After success in pop, Huntington became a primary school teacher at Eldon Grove Primary School, Hartlepool. He’s the Deputy Headteacher of Rosebrook Primary School,Stockton-on-Tees.
RIP Terry Nutkins. You were the Windsor Safari Park general manager who in 1985 fed fish to dolphin mother Honey, on the occasion of her one year old baby Juno (r) birthday celebrations at the safari park. Before that, the eight-year-old Nutkins used to bunk off school, break into London Zoo and feed the elephants. (You used to be able to get into the Zoo by jumping the small fence by the canal, so I am, er, told).
At the age of 14, an otter bit off two of his fingers. At the time, Nutkins was living with the writer Gavin Maxwell (author of the classic Ring of Bright Water, the story of a smooth-coated otter he brought back from Iraq and reared in Scotland), described in the Telegraph as “a dysfunctional Peter Pan figure who eschewed adult company”.
Nutkins was famous because he was on the telly, fronting Animal Magic with Johnny Morris (and his bucket of fish) and creating The Real Wild Show. Back then a man with unassisted hair and a genuinely private private life could present very good children’s telly on the BBC without a need to go on a gameshows of trace his family tree. Back then humanity wasn’t always the baddie on nature programmes.
Looking at today’s telly stars, Nutkins was from another planet.
LORDY. Rihanna is absolutely determined to be an apologist for Chris Brown. Fine, she wants to forgive him and take a stronger stance than playing the victim or letting the awful beating she took ruin her life, but there’s something to make everyone incredibly uneasy about this whole tawdry affair.
Ri was seen kissing Breezy on the lips (as the video shows) at the MTV VMAs and it will no doubt add fuel to the notion that everyone should just leave Chris Brown alone. Team Breezy, Brown’s unswerving fans, will be thrilled at the sight of this, thinking that there’s officially nothing wrong with supporting a man who hospitalised a woman.
LANA DEL REY has always seemed disingenuous, bursting onto the scene on daddy’s money and dragging that long face of hers about the place with her vapid, weedy blub-pop. Well, praise be! Seems that she can’t be bothered being a popstar anymore and has revealed plans to branch out into screenwriting!
According to The Sun, Del Rey said:
“When I was first starting, I had a vision of being a writer for film and that’s what I am doing now. I’m so happy. Hopefully I will branch into film work and stay there.”
“What would it say? Everything I wanted to say, I’ve said already… I don’t think I’ll write another record.”
THE GQ Men of the Year awards 2012 featured 21 winners. One was a women. Her name: Lana Del Rey. Who appears naked on the post-awards issue? Any guesses…?
PS – Of the other winners, surely a naked Boris Johnson would sell more magazines that pouting Del Ray. (Unless you are one of the many to have seen zippy in the buff already.)
“There’s a way to do an acid trip like Harold & Kumar, and there’s a way to be on acid. What I know of acting, Sean Penn actually strapped up to that (electric) chair in Dead Man Walking. These are the guys that I look up to.”
Only, no-one thought to plug Sean Penn into the mains. He was – get this – pretending….
SCIENTOLOGY may not have destroyed Tom Cruise’s career, but everyone does think he’s weird now. And in fairness to him, he’s been acting very oddly since he leapt around on Oprah Winfrey’s sofa like an excitable simian. Katie Holmes has of course left him, leading everyone to talk about the recruiting process of the church in his bid to get himself a new wife (like the good-looking, incredibly wealthy Tom Cruise needs help!).
But what about his other ex-wife?
NAOMI Wolf has been chatting about her new book Vagina – A New Biography to the women on Mumsnet. Wolf has made a connection between brain and vagina. She might have also made a link between brains and arse.
Wolf says things like:
“Some people have a lower baseline autonomic nervous system and in lovemaking, something that heightens it like spanking or hair-pulling or some scenario that is threatening – as long as you are in control – that heightens some women’s autonomic nervous system, and in turn heightens their arousal and their orgasm.”
“When you understand that, it’s much less alarming.”
ONCE Amy Childs was famous for appearing on The Only Way Is Essex on ITV2 and having a hobby that involved sticking shiny beads onto her vagina (aka The Sugar Hut nightclub). Now the hobby becomes the job as Childs opens her new boutique in Brentwood, Essex. Wise fashion heads should now be planning to open a store selling chafe-proof knickers and vajazzle templates that let you lights up your genitals with your own birth sign or silhouettes famous faces and Michael Jackson’s glove. Call us, Essex, we have ideas…