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THE Australian Olympic Committee has not hung up its woggles and decided they can no longer compete with the Poms, who scored 29 golds at the London Games to Australia’s 7 (a tally bettered by mighty Hungary and matched by sports mad Kazakhstan).
Once upon a time, the Aussies ruled the world at sports that very few countries play (cricket and rugby) or understand (Aussie rules football), as our Ed Barrett wrote.
They still love to beat the Poms, relishing the old humiliation over the English cricket team dragged over a long hot summer. But now even the ritual slaughter of the Gabba accompanied of the sound of delirious, blood-crazed Aussie mobs is thing of the past.
PRESIDENT John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas on November 22, 1963.
Close to the shooting was a man carrying an open umbrella.
YOU may or may not be aware, Noel Edmonds is making his way to the pop charts with an unlikely appearance in a dance track (warning, it is rather abrasive).
You can hear it below. Of course, he’s not the first radio DJ to have a stab at the charts, so with that, let us look at some of the weird and wonderful moments in pop music when radio jockeys ended up in the beast they presided over.
Candice Cannes’ Are You Ready features Noel Edmonds in his Deal Or No Deal guise while a woman mutters nonsense in a seductive voice.
THE Beatles At The BBC.
London calling all “Beatle People”
TWO decades ago, the Great Beatles Revival began with the release of the double CD album Live at the BBC. Like their regular albums, it duly hit number one on both sides of the Atlantic, and shifted no fewer than five million copies in the couple of months. Now the original set has been remastered and reissued simultaneously with a further collection: On Air – Live at the BBC Volume 2.
Both sets consist of radio interviews and performances from the mid-Sixties, and together they provide a fascinating picture of the biggest band of all time – at a time when such a concept was meaningless. This is an evocative and fascinating reminder of an era in which the Beatles were making their own rules, and bursting exponentially from the cosy confines of post-war light entertainment like a small child outgrowing successive pairs of shoes.
STOCKWELL Road isn’t the most exciting and handsome of roads. It may have been once, but the Luftwaffe and the usual unimaginative sixties south London redevelopment put paid to that. It’s got a skateboard park, if that’s your thing, and David Bowie was born in a road just off it, but even he moved to Bromley when he was six. And that’s about it, to most people in the area it’s just a road that joins up Stockwell and Brixton.
Cellular Solutions: The Hove Company Where Middle-Aged White Males Manage Lots Of Young White Females
CELLULAR Solutions is an equal opportunities employer. Young, attractive women are not prejudiced against when it comes to picking staff to work at the company’s offices in Hove, East Sussex. And white males can be leaders:
Of course, all staff were picked on merit. It just looks odd.
Baby P’s Mum Tracey Connelly Is Free: But Why Did The Sun And David Cameron Let Police Evade Justice?
PETER Connelly’s mother is free from prison. Tracey Connelly is pout of prison six years after the death of her 17-month-old son. The Sun calls her a “beat”. It says he is “evil”. She is the “monster mum”.
Tracey Connelly is said to have had “barely a care in the world as she popped out shopping from her bail hostel”.
She went to a supermarket. The Sun adds the peculiar fact: “She walked into town and nipped into supermarket Aldi, passing Christmas ad posters outside.”
Subtitles Are Not TV’s Kite Mark: Not Unless You Want To Sing Along With Simon Cowell And Clive James
Mic Wright’s Remotely Furious.
HOMELAND is fine. Borgen is fine. The Killing was fine. If any of these shows was set in England and broadcast by ITV1, The Guardian would not give one solitary based-out-listlessly-by-Sam-Wollaston toss about them. They are entertaining but they’re not the red hot stuff that TV reviewers want you to believe you are. It’s not philistine to think subtitles are a pain the bum nor that Mel & Sue aren’t charming as hosts of the Great British Bake Off or that Richard “The Hamster” Hammond should grow up.
There is too much received wisdom in television criticism and TV chatter in general. You’re expected to enjoy but disdain The X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent, to throw a layer of irony on top to justify those hundreds of hours of Saturday night viewing. I love The X Factor and BGT unreservedly. Susan Boyle’s first BGT audition still makes me cry. It’s the product of emotional manipulation by savvy TV producers but so what? I watch sad films to make me cry, I watch nostalgic films so I can bang on about Pogs or that grim time when people enjoyed the music of Smashmouth.
WHO is speaking truth to power? Nick Cohen writes:
If you listen to artists, writers, academics and journalists, you would think that thousands of them operate in a radical underground. They say the right things. They ‘speak truth to power’, ‘transgress boundaries’, and all the rest of it. But you will have noticed that they are careful only to challenge religions that won’t hurt them (Christianity) and governments that won’t arrest them (democracies).
He goes on to talk of a who by Iranian-born artist Firoozeh Bazrafkan. You might not like her. But you have to admit she’s not easily intimidated. This how she celebrates the Iranian Revolution:
IRON Mike Tyson has admitted in his autobiography that he was on all manner of drugs during some of his fights and even used a fake penis to fool dope testers.
Tyson spoke about all this in his book, Undisputed Truth, which stated that he’d taken ‘blow’ and ‘pot’ before fight. Imagine how good he would’ve been if he wasn’t stoned.
He then revealed how he managed to avoid detection: ‘I had to use my whizzer, which was a fake penis where you put in someone’s clean urine to pass your drug test,’ he said.
Mike also took cocaine and blames that for his press conference brawl with Lennox Lewis, where Tyson bit Lennox’s leg!
Either way, with all that in mind, let us look back at some of Mike Tyson’s finest knock-outs and, in amongst them, you’ll find a little treat, different from the rest.
WANT top speak like a Victorian? James Redding Ware, the pen name of writer Andrew Forrester, documented slang English terms of that perverted period in British history in his book Passing English of the Victorian era, a dictionary of heterodox English, slang and phrase.
“Thousands of words and phrases in existence in 1870 have drifted away, or changed their forms, or been absorbed, while as many have been added or are being added,” he writes in the book’s introduction. “‘Passing English’ ripples from countless sources, forming a river of new language which has its tide and its ebb, while its current brings down new ideas and carries away those that have dribbled out of fashion.”
ROD Stewart and the rest of The Faces played London’s Marquee Club in December of 1970. Ron Wood, Kenny Jones, Ronnie Lane, Ian McLagen never looked better than in this video recorded for German TV “WDR”.
If the camera was any closer, one sniff and you’d be inside one of rock’s greatest noses:
PAUL Dutton, 48, was ejected from his local branch of Asda in Cambridge, after a fellow shopper complained about his attire – a classic formal black suit of the type produced by Hugo Boss in the 1940s.
Unfortunately this suit happened to closely resemble the uniform of Hitler’s notorious SS, and even more unfortunately the resemblance was entirely uncoincidental. Mr Dutton’s “hobby” is Adolf Hitler, you see, and his fascination is such that his living room boasts a painting of himself being decorated by the Fuhrer – a man who once earned an honest living decorating people’s homes as a housepainter.
THE Wallaby spotted hopping around Highgate Cemetery is dead.
The experts caught the marsupial – some say he’s the reincarnation of Karl Marx, TV prankster Jeremy Beadle or murdered KGB spy Alexander Litvinenko.
PEOPLE say that a red card can spoil a decent game of football. Nonsense. It adds a layer of wonderful jeopardy into proceedings and, more to the point, sometimes they’re really very funny.
There have been some mystifying red cards over the years (players getting sent off for mistaken identity or getting three yellows before leaving the pitch) and some have just been brilliant.
With that, let us look at some of the more fun ones.
1. Don’t get a decision going your way? Indulge in some ‘simulation’. That didn’t work? Jab your opponent in the balls, right in front of the referee.
IN case you’re wondering: apparently it is illegal in Missouri to save a toddler from a burning house, and cops will taser you, cuff you and haul you off to jail if you try.
Ryan Miller discovered this early on Halloween morning, when an electrical fire started in the house he shared with his wife and three-year-old stepson. Officers shot Miller with a stun gun as he tried re-entering the burning house to save the little boy. (There’s some dispute over exactly how often Miller got Tased; police say two times while Miller’s mother says three, twice after Miller was already in handcuffs and once after he was already in the police car.)
PRESIDENT Assad of Syria is a cool guy. His wife is a fragrant “rose in the desert“. On Assad’s Instagram account, we get this photo below of the man, the woman and the child who they are neither molesting nor murdering with toxic gases or bullets. Anyone who says they are is a dirty liar.
TITANIC survivors Charlotte ‘Lottie’ Collyer and daughter Marjorie It was on a Wednesday we took the train to Southampton. Some of our friends were at the station to see us go, and some of them saw us off on the boat, I didn’t think there was any boat in the world as big as the Titanic. (named Marjery in one report), 8, had a story to tell of that terrible night. Marjorie’s account of the night was reported in the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. She and her mother became famous.
Marjorie’s tale formed part of Charlotte’s story. She had spoken to the San Francisco Call.
I don’t remember very much about the first few days of the voyage. I was a bit seasick, and kept to my cabin mod of the time. But on Sunday, April 14, I was up and about. At dinnertime, I was at my place in the saloon, and enjoyed the meal, though I thought it too heavy and rich. No effort had been spared to serve even to the second cabin passengers on that Sunday the best dinner that money could buy. After I had eaten, I listened to the orchestra for awhile; then, at perhaps nine o’clock, or half-past nine, I went to my cabin. I had just climbed into my berth when a stewardess came in. She was a sweet woman, who had been very kind to me. I take this opportunity to thank her; for I shall never see her again. She went down with the Titanic. “Do you know where we are?” she said pleasantly. “We are in what is called The Devil’s Hole.” “What does that mean?” I asked. “That it is a dangerous pert of the ocean,” she answered. “Many accidents have happened near here. They say that icebergs drift down as far as this. It’s getting to be very cold on deck, so perhaps there’s ice around us now!” She left the cabin, and I soon dropped off to sleep. Her talk about icebergs had not frightened me; but it shows that the crew were awake to the danger. As far as I can tell, we had not slackened our speed in the least. It must have been a little after ten o’clock when my husband came in and woke me up. He sat about and talked to me, for how long I do not know, before he began to make ready to go to bed. And then, the crash!
IT turns out that the way to seduce Ashley Cole is not offer him a deal for a lucrative marriage nor write ‘puke here‘ on your face but to compliment his feet.
Roxanne Jeffers says she pulled the Chelsea FC defender by sayiong she liked his feet. Cole had posted a picture of his feet on the web. The Daily Mail reports: “The model got in touch with Ashley when she commented on how ‘cute’ his feet were after he posted a snap of them on Instagram. The Chelsea and England defender was so flattered he invited the 24-year-old beauty to the £3.5million home he once shared with Cheryl.”
That’s how much Ashley likes his feet.
WE name the mystery men.
The campaign to put Jane Austen on English banknotes appears to have achieved a somewhat hollow victory, if responses to the proposed portrait are anything to go by.
Austen biographer Dr Paula Byrne describes the proposed picture as resembling a doll, and making Jane appear “dim-witted”. She even goes so far as to compere it to “a Katie Price makeover”.
However, Elizabeth Proudman of the Jane Austen Society begs to differ. While conceding that the eyes are too big, and the face is ‘prettified’ she appears happy with the overall appearance – including the bonnet, which she says Austen always wore.
SO. How has the Sun reported the news that former News of the World editor was shagging former Sun and News of the World editor Rebekah Brooks when they worked together, as is alleged? Well, it leads with news of a trial. Yeah, Brooklyn Beckham has had a trial for Manchester United: It’s a “TRIAL SENSATION“.
In other news you won’t read in the Sun:
RANDY ANDY’S AFFAIR WITH EASTENDERS’ STAR’S GINGA NINJA
BONKING BROOKS’ SECRET AFFAIR
ANDY COULSON ATE MY ‘HAMSTER’
UP YOURS, HER INDOORS
WOULD THE LAST PERSON TO LEAVE THE OFFICE PLEASE DIM THE LIGHTS
NOTHING TO CHANGE HERE. LEAVE AS IS.
AT LEAST THEY’RE NOT GAY
Where’s the News of the World when you need it?
IN 1974, David Bowie was at a low ebb. The 1975 BBC film Cracked Actor recorded the singer on his 1974 Diamond Dogs Tour. The then 27-year-old Alan Yentob’s Omnibus film showed Bowie in the raw. In 1987, Bowie would say of the BBC film:
“I was so blocked … so stoned … It’s quite a casualty case, isn’t it. I’m amazed I came out of that period, honest. When I see that now I cannot believe I survived it. I was so close to really throwing myself away physically, completely.”