HOW did they date in 1956 ? Thanks to this historial document, we know. It was produced by “Kotex menstrual napkins“, and published by Kimberly-Clark, with drawing by Irving Nurick. Marvel at the research that went into aping teenage slang of the day.
“Greet him dressed for gallivanting; if only to the local Cokery.”
“Tain’t fittin’, kitten!”
Click the images from Are You In The Know? to make them bigger:
CHELSEA v Manchester United in the Capital Cup. No John Terry. The Chelsea captain is banned for using racist words on the pitch. Referee Mark Clattenburg has been relieved of his duties while police and the FA investigate the allegation that he racially abused two Chelsea players during the side’s Premier League match last Sunday. Manchester United fans note the irony:
FAREWELL then, Ceefax; your Legoland graphics will delight and inform us no more. You were called Ceefax, because you enabled viewers “see the facts” with no messing about, and you became a national institution. But your birth was a happy accident.
As BBC engineers searched for a way to provide programme subtitles, they realised the same technology could be used to send other information.
Colin McIntyre led a team of eight at Television Centre in Shepherd’s Bush, monitoring the news wires. They typed up the stories, then produced a punched tape which was “read” by a machine into a “core store” with a maximum capacity of just 24 pages.
A report in the Times newspaper (20/09/12) outlined how 533 directors of UK companies have registered addresses in Monaco. Despite vetting by HMRC, the government has still seen fit to award several tax exiles with honours. These include the billionaire Sir Phillip Green- who avoided £285million in capital gains tax in 2005. UK Uncut activists have repeatedly targeted Green by occupying branches of his Arcadia fashion empire.
SUPERSTORM Sandy has hit America’s East Coast. Why? The obvious explanation is that with the Presidential election a matter of days away, the weather machines have been switched on. Others believe it never happened. Says New Yorker Lorenzo Montanez: “I think its malarkey. They are just hyping it up so people can go and buy stuff they don’t need, and scare the s*** out of people.” Why else named a killer storm after the lead character in Grease? Frankenstorm might be better.
New York has taken a pounding. Mayor Michael Bloomberg calls Sandy as “a once-in-a-long-time storm”. Estimates are that 5.8 million have lost power along the East Coast of the US. Parts of the New York Subway system are under salt water.
FACEBOOK has been turning down the volume. Not all those followers who have taken the time to “like” your Facebook page are seeing all of your updates. You might not have noticed.
Anorak has a pretty modest Facebook following. We never paid much interest to it until recently. But the plan, as with all small and big publishers, is to spread the word and get as many people to like the site to follow our updates. The new Anorak site (a couple of weeks away) has ben designed to be more Facebook friendly.
PIGEONS. One half of humanity seems hellbent on trying to murder them with harks and guns. The other half wants to use them to throw food at them. One man’s rock dove is another man’s flying rat. A few things we know about pigeons:
1. They are critics of human endeavour – no statue is safe
2. They love cricket
3. They help to win wars
4. They can be raced
We’ve gone through the archives to bring you a pictorial history of pigeons.
KERRY Katona says he will know that she’s dead when Gina D’Acampo, Fern Britton, Coleen Nolan and Ant ‘n’ Dec, turn up at her funeral. We’d advise her to approach Iceland with a Cryogenics range of frozen celebs, possibly on sticks. Kerry is talking about death because it’s Haloween. OK! wants to know if she has ever “had a poltergeist”. Well, there are no kids to offer proof of a dalliance but she did have experiences:
“At my house in Warrington, the light used to blow constantly, and I’d be lying in bed and the TV would suddenly come on. I went to see a psychic and he told me it was my dear friend letting me know she was there.”
WANT to learn how to breathe underwater? Children look a way now:
IN LATE 60’S I DISCOVERED I COULD BREATH UNDER WATER WITHOUT EQUIPMENT.
1-DRINK ONE BEER (MAY NOT BE REQUIRED)
2-JUMP INTO DEEP END OF POOL
3-EXHALE ALL AIR AS YOU ARE GOING DOWN
4-SIT ON FLOOR OF POOL
5-GRIT TEETH AND LIPS
6-SLOWLY SUCK AIR THRU LIPS AND TEETH.
WARNING…NOT FOR MINORS
MAYBE SOMEONE CAN FORWARD THIS TO THE NAVY SEALS AND PERHAPS AFTER THEY FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN DUPLICATE THIS CAN INVENT A MOUTHPIECE THAT ACTUALLY IS SEPARATING OUT THE AIR (HYDROGEN AND OXYGEN) FROM THE WATER ENABLING MILITARY TO BREATH UNDERWATER WITH NO TANKS ECT. SORT OF A FISH GILL FOR THE MOUTH. IT IS NOTED THE POOL ALSO CONTAINED CHLORINE ..THE POOL WAS IN HOLLYWOOD CALIF.
EXTRACTS from Jimmy Savile’s autobiography, Love Is An Uphill Thing.
* Great and momentous times we have had, the ladies and I. Monumental and magnificent. Tender, sometimes touching, but never turbulent. From single situations to team-handed times, girls have taught, trimmed and trained me up to Olympian standards.
* From that day to this there have been trains and, with apologies to the hit parade, boats and planes (I am a member of the 40,000ft club) and bushes and fields, corridors, doorways, floors, chairs, slag heaps, desks and probably everything except the celebrated chandelier and ironing board.
* The officeress was dissuaded from bringing charges against me by her colleagues for it was well known that were I to go, I would probably take half the station with me.
* On one of my trips to France I had walked into a shop to ask a price and there was a lady behind the counter. The counter was also the same height as my pelvic bone… Hands in trouser pockets I leaned foward to speak, bit before I could utter a word over-balanced and rocked back and forth, perfectly balanced by the hips. As I couldn’t get my trapped hands out of my trouser pockets I was well stuck, and the alarmed lady summoned her husband with loud Gallic cries. He levered me upright, but as I couldn’t speak French at the time, all I could do was smile like Charlie Chaplin and bow out.
* One second I was there, the next, all that was left was an old raincoat.
An adult female of Varroa destructor, a mite parasiting the honney bee (Apis mellifica). Frontal view, on the head of a bee nymph.Scale : mite width ~ 2 mmTechnical settings : - focus stack of 32 images - microscope objective (Nikon achromatic 10x 160/0.25) on 100 mm extension tubes + adapter
PAEDO Ring. Jimmy Savile. Margaret Thatcher. The links reverberate around the newsrooms:
Daily Star (front page): “SAVILE: Paedo Ring Linked To Number 10″
Daily Mirror (front page): “Peado Ring INSIDE Number 10″
The story is based on the words of Tom Watson MP who yesterday told the Commons at PMQS:
“The evidence file – used to convict paedophile Peter Righton – if it still exists, contains clear intelligence of a widespread paedophile ring. One of it’s members boasts of his links to a senior aide of a former Prime minister, who says he could smuggle indecent images of children from abroad. The leads were not followed up, but if the files still exist, I want to ensure that the Metropolitan Police secure the evidence, re-examine it, and investigate clear intelligence suggesting a powerful paedophile network linked to Parliament and Number 10″.
IN the 1960s cool cats in Japan were reading this how-to guide to sex. From how to hold hands to rubbing noses to chucking chins to grooming to removing excess polish from shoes to mating with an artist’s flexible wooden figure. With aded arrows. This book has the lot:
BEFORE the internet, there was a whole world of information to be found on Ceefax and Teletext. These blocky, but comfortingly amateurish graphics would adorn our pages with TV listings, horoscopes, music news and games. Bamboozle is surely one of the first interactive games a generation played? Channel 4 had Planet Sound, with John Earls heading up the editorial and providing a trusted, fanzine-style voice which music fans would devour with their Coco Pops on their TVs previously meant only for their Spectrums and Commodore 64s.
The BBC’s Ceefax was a little more safe than what could be found on other channels, but by no means loved any less.
Even though the whole thing looked hopelessly out of date in an age where video games are hyper-real and the internet is the place filled with every kind of graphic and photo you could hope for, there’s elements of Ceefax and Teletext that haven’t been bettered.
For example, the Now And Next (p120 or p606) television guide feature was a thing of wonder, minimising itself at the foot of the screen, allowing you to continue to watch television while weighing up which channel to hop to. And of course, subtitling was a glorious leap forward, with captioning on Freeview and Sky basically copying what Ceefax had done before.
For many, Teletext and Ceefax won’t mean a thing, but for that generation that truly embraced it, its passing should bring back a host of memories. Pressing ‘reveal’ on pages with no answer was always a thing people did, revealing stray code and such. Then there was the button which allowed you to enter a four number code, rather than the usual three. Stoners and the bored would endlessly tap in random digits in a bid to find secret pages. And this writer DID, and it appeared to be something to do with a premium rate phone game, regrettably.
It goes without saying that this old technology had to go, surpassed by the infinitely more useful internet. Smartphones and tablets effectively made Ceefax redundant. But that’s not to say we shouldn’t pay small tribute. After all, if it wasn’t for Nightscreen and the like, many of us would never have heard any jazz or muzak, ever.
PEOPLE on infomercials are always doing it wrong. “Whenever a TV product commercial plays I bust a gut during the parts where they show us what we’re doing wrong and why we need the product.” Here are some of the best:
DID you have a “lucky escape” from Jimmy Savile? David Walliams did. The Telegraph says David Walliams had a “lucky escape” because when he was 10 he wrote to Jimmy Savile, asking the then sainted charity worker to fix it for him to meet Brian Blessed. Yeah, Brian Blessed. Lucky escape or what!?
Walliams has kept the letter he wrote to the BBC’s Jim’ll Fix It show. He’s published it on the back of his autobiography, Camp David. The letter goes:
“Dear Jim’ll [sic], Please can you fix it for me to meet Brian Blessed, who plays the King Vultan in Flash Gordon? And please can you fix it for me to be a Hawkman for the day? Basically, I just really want to be on TV. Yours sincerely, David.”
THE self-serving police elite can try to use the idiotic Andrew Mitchell to look pure, righteous and trustworthy but after the lies of Hillsborough were exposed, we get news that South Yorkshire police may have lied during the miners’ strike in 1984.
Were young officers keen to get on and not sully their careers coerced into fabricating reports that led to the arrests of 95 miners in what became known as the Battle of Orgreave? All the miners were acquitted. But in nicking them, the police made it harder for the accused to protest. Hit them hard and tomorrow they won’t turn up to protest.
MARINA Chapman was, when a young child, adopted by family of capuchin monkeys in the Colombian jungle. She had been kidnapped at around five-years-old. The caper had went and she was abandoned in the jungle.
She now lives in Bradford.
In Colombia, Chapman learned from the monkeys. She could catch and kill small animals and birds with her bare hands. She lived that way for five years.
When human beings found her, they took her town and traded her for a parrot with a brothel keeper.
LEEDS United. They’ll chant! They’ll shout! They’ll knock your keeper out! It’s Leeds United!…
Some Leeds fans will doubtless revel in the antics of Aaron Cawley, who ran onto the pitch and slapped Sheffield Wednesday Chris Kirkland in the face. When Leeds United equalised, Crawley attacked a big professional athlete who was looking the other way.
Leeds United manager Neil Warnock said Sheffield Wednesday goalkeeper Chris Kirkland “went down like a tonne of bricks”. But, come on, it looked like a foul…