Anorak

Royal Family | Anorak - Part 4

Royal Family Category

The Royal Family, the House of Windsor, in the news and on a horse

When Princess Diana played Golden Girl Dorothy, dodged a ‘randy old Taurean’ and went to the gay bar with Freddie Mercury

cleao rocos diana When Princess Diana played Golden Girl Dorothy, dodged a randy old Taurean and went to the gay bar with Freddie Mercury

KENNY Everett’s busty distraction Cleo Rocos has a book out. One section deals with the time she met Princess Diana. Over bellinis, Shy Di would refer to people as “that randy old Taurean” or “Typical Sagittarian, always dancing on the table  with a bottle of vodka  down his trousers.”

Everett, Rocos and Di then went back to Kenny’s penthouse to watch The Golden Girls. Mercury popped over. The foursome ad libbed their version of the show. Everett was Blanche, Diana was Dorothy, Mercury was Sophie and Rocos was Rose.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 1st, April 2013 | In: Celebrities, Royal Family | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Queen Elizabeth II and the Duke of Edinburgh are statues in Fifield, Berkshire

PA 16162051 Queen Elizabeth II and the Duke of Edinburgh are statues in Fifield, Berkshire

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 1st, April 2013 | In: Royal Family, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


When Zara Phillips met an ‘unnamed overzealous’ guard at the Cheltenham Festival

PA 16053311 When Zara Phillips met an unnamed overzealous guard at the Cheltenham Festival

HOW the media works: the paper have been at the Cheltenham Festival. If Pippa Middleton is not in the stalls, the journalists turn their eyes to any other female Royal. They spot Zara Phillips.

The Telegraph’s Andrew Hough reports:

She may be the Queen’s grand-daughter but that did not stop security guards at Cheltenham Festival from blocking Zara Phillips access to the parade ring.

The Daily Mail’s Ruth Styles and Louise Eccles report:

She might be the Queen’s granddaughter, but that does not always guarantee the royal treatment. Zara Phillips was blocked from leaving the parade ring at Cheltenham yesterday by a security guard.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 16th, March 2013 | In: Royal Family, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Artist gives Queen Elizabeth a make-over on Australian five dollar note

WHEN her Majesty The Queen puts down her copy of Majesty‘The Quality Royal Magazine’ – (an ITV documentary reveals that Liz subscribes to the organ that records her own life. Whenever Phil asks her how her day went she can just toss the mag over to him and say,’There. Take a look’) she can look at her face on coins and bank notes. (Her Majesty is thought to favour the 10pence piece because it has no crow’s feet.) It’s all pretty samey – unless she see what this artist has down to her likeness on the Australian five dollar note.

 Queen aussie 24 Artist gives Queen Elizabeth a make over on Australian five dollar note

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 15th, March 2013 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Duchess Kate calls her child Elizabeth Diana Carole

PA 15970237 Duchess Kate calls her child Elizabeth Diana Carole

USWeekly says Duchess Kate’s baby will be called Elizabeth Diana Carole. They’ll name the child after Prince William’s granny. Middle names will be nods to the couple’s mothers.

The brains at the US glossy maust have spent moments working that out. The only good thing is that initials, EDC, will give Lizzy-DC a name for her signature Eau De Cologne. But other than that it’s low on thrills. Still, we know it’s a girl. And, according to OK!’s cover, “Having a girl would make Diana happy.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 14th, March 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cressida Bonas knows hard work – some time ski instructor shows us her CV

Cressida+Bonas Cressida Bonas knows hard work   some time ski instructor shows us her CV

CRESSIDA Bonas, Prince Harry’s latest flame, appears in an OK! magazine feature. The mag wants us to look beyond the “long glossy hair, flawless kin and sparkling smile” to see the woman of substance beneath the perfection. In a section headed “Beauty And Brains”, OK! notes:

“And Cressida has worked hard too, studying dance at the University of Leeds. She’s also modelled for Burberry and has experience as a ski instructor.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 8th, March 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pregnant Kate Middleton gives teddy to her Dumeril’s Monitor

PA 15970269 Pregnant Kate Middleton gives teddy to her Dumerils Monitor

IS Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, having a dinosaur? When Sandra Cook, 67, gave Kate a teddy bear in Grimsby, the Duchess said: “Thank you, I’ll give that to my d…”

Daughter. Sandra Cook thought so. Kate never finished the word. Sandra pressed her.

“No, we don’t know,” said Kate. “We’re not telling.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 6th, March 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Duchess Kate in Grimsby: caption contest


PA 15968898 copy Duchess Kate in Grimsby: caption contest

THE Duchess of Cambridge sits next to a dummy of the Ship’s Mate at the Skipper’s Table on display during her tour of the National Fishing Heritage Centre, Grimsby.

Posted: 5th, March 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Queen’s dicky tummy: not morning sickness, sources say

PA 15958097 Queens dicky tummy: not morning sickness, sources say

HOW does the media respond to news that Queen Elizabeth 2 is unwell? Her Majesty has been at the King Edward VII Hospital, London, where Kate Middleton went for morning sickness treatment. The Daily Mail leads with “DON’T MAKE A FUSS” – new of the Queen’s “stoicism” – the Times leads with two coppers stood by a door (one of them is 7ft 2in PC Anthony Wallyn) and the Sun finds a pun withy “Her Majesty The Queasy”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 4th, March 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prince Harry knocks them bandy in Lesotho – photos

WHEN Prince Harry went to Lesotho, he met with Prince Seeiso at the Kananelo Centre for the Deaf, in the Maseru district of Lesotho. Harry danced, and in any language we knew what he meant. Extempore dancing is to most of us a hellish ordeal. At dos, Anorak heads to the middle of the dance floor in the hope that everyone dancing around him will act like those whirling anchovy shoals in wildlife documentaries, swirling about and making the centre invisible. It never works. The music changes; people slump off;  an overexcited woman commands just one more dance. The band strikes up Wake Me Up Before You GoGo, by Wham! Game Harry then went to St. Bernadette School for the Visually Impaired. It was all for charity. At one point someone drew a picture of Prince William on the black baord, and everyone laughed:

15924733


15924733 Prince Harry knocks them bandy in Lesotho   photos
Picture 1 of 27

Prince Harry sits in on a sign sign language class at the Kananelo Centre for the Deaf, in the Maseru district of Lesotho.

Posted: 27th, February 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Guess what Prince Harry’s new bird Cressida Bonas was nicknamed at school

DID you know that Prince Harry’s new girlfriend, Cressida Bonas, had a nickname in school? The Mirror says she was known as “Bon-arse” by her friends. The Mirror informs its learned readers that it’s combination of the “French word for good and her surname”. The rets of you who didn’t go to a “Posh” school like Stowe, could not hope to think of nickname for a gel called BONAS. CRESSIDA BONAS…

Posted: 24th, February 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cressida Bonas’ mother Lady Mary Curzon poses topless: photo

lady mary curzon 1 Cressida Bonas mother Lady Mary Curzon poses topless: photo

YOU’RE only ever really Royal if you’ve gone topless, like Sophie Wessex, Kate Middleton and Prince Harry. Young Harry Baseball Cap is, of course, dating Cressida Bonas. (Yep, he has been seen kissing BONAS in public.) She’s a willowy blonde toff who does spot of modelling and stuff. She has yet to pose topless. Her mother, Lady Mary Curzon, however, has. (Photo on Page 2.) In 1967, she appeared in Birds Of Britain by John E. Green. The blurb told us:

“She has been a debutante. Also she has been a model. Also she has been  salesgirl over Christmas in Harrods department store. Also she has escorted tourists around the sights of London. None of these activities was motivated by gain, since she comes from an extremely rich family. Her father is Earl Howe, and a near relation was that magnificent proconsul of whom a contemporary rhyme only half-maliciously ran – ‘My name in George Nathaniel Curzon. I am a most superior person.’ She owns a fluffy white pekinese named Consuelo, and lives, reasonably enough, just off Curzon Street.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 22nd, February 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The new Kate Middleton doll pokes her critics in the eyes (literally)

kate middleton doll topless The new Kate Middleton doll pokes her critics in the eyes (literally)

IN your jealous Gummidge face Hilary Mantel. How dare she say Kate Middleton, our Duchess of Cambridge, our dewey-soft rose, is nothing more than a waving vagina on a plastic stick. Simon Balch has been on the phone to the Franklin Mint. He brings joyous news that they who have created a doll more in keeping with the real Kate, the topless stunna and would-be bikini model:

Posted: 21st, February 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


How Tom Parker-Bowles got a job: ouch!

PA 9041584 How Tom Parker Bowles got a job: ouch!

TOM Parker-Bowles –  ”my stepfather is Prince Charles, a lovely and glorious man” – who is profiled thus by Craig McLean in the Times:

Rather than accept his posh-bashing lot — tarred and feathered as another workshy double-barrelled waster — Parker Bowles secured a job as food writer on Tatler…

You can’t beat hard graft to stop them calling you a ponce…

Posted: 21st, February 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lady Mary Curzon: Cressida Bona’s mother appeared in Birds Of Britain

lady mary gaye curzon 1 Lady Mary Curzon: Cressida Bonas mother appeared in Birds Of Britain  PRINCE Harry’s is dating Cressida BONAS. * (Her name must forever be capitalised.) La Bonas’s mother is Lady Mary Curzon, a siren of the Swinging Sixties with five children by three of her four husbands. She might be the Carol Jackson of high society.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 21st, February 2013 | In: Books, Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prince Harry gets Bonas in Verbier

PRINCE Harry has been on the slopes with Cressida Bonas. The <em >Sun sees Harry “cuddle” the 24-year-old Bonas in Verbier, Switzerland. He was not naked. She was not dressed in a bikini. These photos are safe and patriotic. Harry is “smitten” with Bonas. He has been “hauling Cressida on to his lap and giving her a passionate kiss”

All papers resist the urge to declare: “Prince Harry kisses Bonas.” That’s the kind of respect he deserves.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 21st, February 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Duchess Kate Middleton: ‘Mantel more like No bloody Man and tell’

PA 15846558 1 Duchess Kate Middleton: Mantel more like No bloody Man and tell

AWARD-winning author Hilary Mantel says the Royal Family pick a brood mare the same way a Scientology star picks a wife. They like an easy-wipe surface. Whilst Mantel was comparing Kate Middleton to a dead-eyed mannequin, the pregnant Duchess of Cambridge, for it is she, was getting back to work after her Caribbean getaway. At Hope House, she waved, looked interested, waved, shook hands, waved, waved some more and then left to a magical faraway land where the paparazzi don’t exist and everything tastes of furniture polish.  

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 19th, February 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kate Middleton’s bikini: Quentin Letts says Chi magazine is Cheap – Daily Mail is cheaper

daily mail bikini Kate Middletons bikini: Quentin Letts says Chi magazine is Cheap   Daily Mail is cheaper

DOES the Daily Mail’s Quentin Letts read his own paper? Appearing on a This Morning chat about Kate Middlton’s pregnanct tum-tum, and Chi magazine’s photos of it wearing a bikini in the Caribbean, Letts opened that the magazione might be called “Cheap:. The Mail had already called it “tawdry“. Would this be the same Mail that pervs at underage girls and publishes paparazzi photographs of pregnant women in bikinis?

I think it might be…

PS – This Morning then duly flashed up the photos of Kate in her bikini. Letts did not storm off.

Posted: 13th, February 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pregnant Kate Middleton shows off her bikini curves on holiday in Mustique: the fury!

CHI Magazine Pregnant Kate Middleton shows off her bikini curves on holiday in Mustique: the fury!PSSST! Want to see photos of Kate Middleton on holiday in Mustique? Well, then you’ll have to buy a copy of Italy’s Chimagazine, which has published the shots of the pregnant Duchess of Cambridge. The British need to make do with the Daily Mail’s news that said photos have been met with “Royal fury”.

Louise Eccles and Rebecca English poor scorn on that “tawdry” foreign rag. How very dare it cause our British Princess anguish the sticky fingers of a long lens. Meanwhile, on other Mail pages you can read:

Jenny Frost shows off her growing curves in bikini as she talks fans through her pregnancy – 10/10/2012

Revealing Victoria’s Secrets! Doutzen Kroes shows off her fabulous post-pregnancy figure in daring black bikini – 16/02/2012

Making waves! Megan Fox shows off pre-pregnancy body in tiny black bikini – 30/11/2012

Glowing Myleene Klass shows her pregnancy curves in all their glory in a white bikini – 07/11/2010

Pregnant Tori Spelling shows off her growing baby bump in a bikini… and a new tattoo tribute to husband Dean – 04/05/2011

Bumpin’ in Barbados! Coleen Rooney shows off her pregnancy curves as she soaks up the sunshine with son Kai – 06/02/2013

Baby on board! Jessica Simpson’s best friend CaCee Cobb shows off her bump in string bikini – 02/02/2013

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 13th, February 2013 | In: Key Posts, Royal Family | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prince Harry Sucking On Things: a meme is born

PA 15636126 Prince Harry Sucking On Things: a meme is born

PRINCE Harry is the gift that keeps on giving. In this photo,Prince Harry or just plain Captain Wales as he is known in the British Army, is pictured with fellow air crew in the DFAC (Dining Facility), at Camp Bastion southern Afghanistan, where he has been serving as an Apache Helicopter Pilot/Gunner with 662 Sqd Army Air Corps.

Harry is ready for his photoshop. The chap behind is wearing the look of a man who has already created the “Harry Sucking On Things” meme site…

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 27th, January 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Prince Harry choses guns over strip Cluedo

harry afghanistan Prince Harry choses guns over strip Cluedo

WHO asked Prince Harry if he had killed anyone? We don’t know. But he has done. Harry says he took enemy fighters “out of the game”.

Harry’s returned from work as a co-pilot helicopter gunner in Afghanistan. Has tells media:

“Yeah, so lots of people have…The squadron’s been out here. Everyone’s fired a certain amount. Take a life to save a life. That’s what we revolve around, I suppose. If there’s people trying to do bad stuff to our guys, then we’ll take them out of the game, I suppose.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 22nd, January 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Princess Beatice dresses up as credit card in Berlin (expires 2017)

PA 15562933 1 Princess Beatice dresses up as credit card in Berlin (expires 2017)

FACE of the day: Princess Beatrice peers through a giant credit card as she visits e-commerce company ‘Zalando in Berlin with her sister Princess Eugenie, during their first joint overseas engagement. The royal sisters will travel to Germany for a two-day tour promoting the UK as part of the Great Campaign – a global initiative to attract visitors, business and students to the UK. 

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 17th, January 2013 | In: Royal Family | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0