Royal Family Category
The Royal Family, the House of Windsor, in the news and on a horse
THE Daily Mail loves Pippa Middleton. The Daily Mail loves to hate Pippa Middleton. Pippa has written a book about hosting parties. The Mail has been covering the issue:
Exclusively in this weekend’s Mail on Sunday, you’ll find the first part of Pippa Middleton’s glorious guide to simple, creative entertaining, from her sensational new book – Celebrate: A Year of British Festivities for Family and Friends. This weekend we have 24 glossy pages of magical Hallowe’en tips and brilliant bonfire night ideas.
THE Duchess of Cornwall emerges from a tour of the cells below Marlborough Town Hall to check on you know who*.
(*Fergie, Savile, Diana, Elvis, Shergar and Lucan.)
THIS week, Queen Elizabeth II saw the Windsor and Eton Society Diamond Jubilee Tribute statue at the King Edward Court shopping centre, Windsor. That statue…It’s 60 silver orbs modelled, seemingly, on stills from her yearly colonscopy:
THE Prince William love doll produced by Bradford Exchange Ltd is, it says here:
Expertly handcrafted from fine bisque porcelain, this first-of-a-kind edition bears an authentic likeness of the handsome Prince on his wedding day. Meticulously handpainted for exquisite realism, this lifelike portrait is 17 inches tall, and fully poseable.
Striking uniform recreated in exquisite detail Prince William’s dashing red tunic features a golden collar bearing the facing shamrock emblems of the Irish Guards, shining gold buttons and epaulets, white piping and embellished cuffs. A royal blue sash, golden braid, a belt with a fringed tassel, medals and military insignia add drama and authenticity. Dark-coloured slacks with scarlet striping and a military cap of authentic design complete the ensemble.
When your ‘Prince William Royal Bridegroom Porcelain Doll’ arrives, and you place him beside your ‘Princess Catherine Royal Elegance Bride Doll’, you’ll recapture all the joy and historic significance of the Royal Wedding! Don’t miss out – order yours today!
“Due to ‘adverse weather conditions’ The Duke’s helicopter is unable to take off from London this morning.”
Indeed. Air Miles Andy was heading to a meeting a Nelson & Colne college. It’s message:
We believe that it is vital to promote a “green” ethos amongst our students and staff. The College’s Sustainability Group has worked hard to raise awareness of the environmental issues we face, and the whole College has agreed challenging, but achievable goals to reduce our carbon footprint, now and in future years – targets which are already being exceeded.
THE Queen wanted Abu Hamza, the hooked-handed, one-eyed gurning loon of Finsbury Park, deported. Conspiacy theorists say that the State kept him in the UK for their own purposes:
RIP John Peter Houison Craufurd of Craufurdland. The Washer of the Sovereign’s Hands was 82. As the 28th laird of Craufurdland Castle, in Ayrshire, for it was he, said:
“We used to have to write to Buckingham Palace to offer to wash the monarch’s hands every time they were in residence at the Palace of Holyroodhouse. In his day, my father had to make that offer virtually every year, although it was very seldom accepted.
“More recently, we have been told by the Queen’s office that, as we have already washed her hands once, that is all she requires us to do. So now we have to wait until Prince Charles takes the throne before we do it again.”
CHIEF Kooffreh will now deliver his tribute to Princess Diana. It’s what she would have wanted…
Chief Kooffreh is an alumnus of the University of Massachusetts, Bentley College, Framingham State University. He lives in New York, New York with his wife Elizabeth Tampol Kooffreh, the “world-class actress“(see video 2):
HURRAH! Lawyers for Kate Middleton and Prince William, aka the Duke and Duchess of Kent, have won an injunction stopping Closer magazine from publishing those photos of her topless. The Tribunal de Grande Instance in Nanterre, Paris, is on the side of the angels. If Kate can now erase our minds, recall all the sold copies of Closer; scrub the images from the internet; defeat Chi magazine in similar style, force the photographer to hand over the images and never sell them again; jail the Daily Star Ireland news desk, all will be as perfect as it once was.
ANYONE wanting to see Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, topless in Provence can read Closer magazine (France), the Daily Star (Ireland), Chi magazine (Italy) or check them out on the world wide web. And here. And here. If you want to see topless stunnas making a la Kate to greet her as she tours the Solomon Island you can do so here. It’s the Streisand Effect in full swing. You might snigger.
Chi has form. In 2006, the magazine published photos of Princess Diana dying in Paris. Chi editor Umberto Brindani said the picrures were “touching” and “tender“.
THE Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, was fully clothed when she and husband, Prince William, arrived on Honiara, Guadalcanal Island, Solomon Islands. Some of the locals, however, showed sings of only having had read about Kate from various French and Italian tabloids:
All the photos on page 2:
Prince William wants Valerie Suau jailed for being French: Kate Middleton is topless (but not in Britain)
The Mirror says he did. Is Wills auditioning for job as the King of Thailand?
If the Mirror is right, Wills wants Valerie Suau, the photographer, to be sent to prison. The Daily Mail – hypocrite of hypocrites – tells readers Suau “is pronounced ‘sewer’”. She took the photos from a public road. The rights and wrongs are a matter for French law to rule on. The Windsors are suing Closer magazine for publishing the images. The fine is unlikely to top £24,000. So. Why has no British newspaper published the photographs? What happened to publish and be damned?
“There has been a significant hardening of William and Kate’s response to the publication of the topless photos.”
PSST! Wanna see photos of Kate Middleton, aka the Duchess of Cambridge, topless? Here you go:
YOU can see Kate Midleton, aka the Duchess of Cambridge, topless in France’s edition of Closer magazine. The Duchess of Cambridge is topless on the terrace of a guest house in the Luberon, Provence. The home is owned by Lord Linley, the Queen’s nephew. The magazine trails its scoop:
A little over a year after their marriage, the royal couple was offered a romantic getaway, far from the protocol, etiquette in a very garden of Eden. Almost alone in the world … For Closer was there! Discover a preview of the pictures the world in 24h comment.
After the holidays olé-olé of Prince Harry Veg as, discover the very sensual shots of Kate Middleton and her husband Prince William . Discover the incredible pictures of the future Queen of England as you’ve never seen … and as you never see her again!
TO Shipston in the Cotwolds, where Sheldon’s Wine Cellars is flogging Royal Blush, a line of booze featuting Dan Lacey’s portrait of naked Prince Harry screwing back on the Las Vegas baize. The rosé is called Royal Blush.
The pinky hues are the exact colour Harry’s cheeks shone after the impromptu game of ping-pong that followed the billards.
PRINCE Harry is in Afghanistan. You can see him being show the Apache flight-line by a member of his squadron (name not provided) at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan, where he will be operating from during his tour of duty as a co-pilot gunner. The Prince has returned to Afghanistan to fly attack helicopters in the fight against the Taliban. They might be ready for him…
PRINCE Harry wasn’t the first Royal to go naked. He won’t be the last. In this photo we see Czar Nicholas II and Courtiers bathing in the nude at Tsarskoye Selo. The photo is undated. Unlike Czar Nichaolas. On 17 July 1918, as anti-Bolsheviks murdered Nicholas on the orders of Bolshevik leader Vladimir Lenin. Come the revolution…
DIANA Princess of Wales died 15 years ago today. Some say never died but lives on the fabled Sixth Floor of London’s Harvey Nichols department store. Her name resonates, turning the Windsors into ghosts, forever in her shadow. We like Wills and Harry because they are their sons. Diana, rejected by the ignorant pompous Windsors in life, was clutched to their bosom in death. Kate is ordained by the media to be thin and silky enough to be Diana’s successor.
The thing about Diana was that, unlike the Munsters she married into and their lackeys, she was not a snob. Nor was she self-righteous like her brother and Tony Blair, the Prime Minister at the time of her death:
“OUR RED-HOT NIGHT WITH DIRTY HARRY”
We dash inside the news organ to discover what Harry got up to with those Las Vegas babes:
TWO of the “hot chicks” who romped with naked Prince Harry plan to heap more humiliation on the red-faced royal by selling their stories.
WHEN Prince Charles visited the Channel Islands on July 19, 2012, the heir danced a little. A meme was born:
Spotter: Daily Dot
The Times’ David Brown frames the problem in a killer line:
The Queen saw an embarrassingly large number of gaps in the seats at the sell-out event during a surprise visit to the 17,500-capacity Aquatics Centre in the Olympic Park.
Not that celebs themselves seem to understand that. For example, Kate Middleton and Prince William are reportedly furious after an Australian magazine published private pictures of their honeymoon. It would seem we’re supposed to look at Royalty in a different light than common or garden famous people.
HOW do the nation’s newspapers report the news that Andy Murray (current status: British) is through to the semi-finals of Wimbledon? Well, it was a truly momentous day for Kate Middleton. As the sun sat in a bright blue sky, Kate stunned adoring onlookers, who had invested small fortunes to sit on Kate Knoll, by deftly dropping her shiny hair over her perfect ears. As white-clad men toiled below, the English champion of hearts…(continues for ever)…
WE are indebted to the Sun’s Ally Ross for spotting this gem from jobbing ninny . Young Tom is a “food writer”. Prince Charles is his step-dad. TOM HAS BENE ON itv’s This Morning. The caht went like this:
TP-B: “I’ve just been to Beirut.”
Holly Willoughby: “What sort of food do they have there?”
TP-B: “It’s sort of Lebanese.”