TO Shipston in the Cotwolds, where Sheldon’s Wine Cellars is flogging Royal Blush, a line of booze featuting Dan Lacey’s portrait of naked Prince Harry screwing back on the Las Vegas baize. The rosé is called Royal Blush.
The pinky hues are the exact colour Harry’s cheeks shone after the impromptu game of ping-pong that followed the billards.
PRINCE Harry is in Afghanistan. You can see him being show the Apache flight-line by a member of his squadron (name not provided) at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan, where he will be operating from during his tour of duty as a co-pilot gunner. The Prince has returned to Afghanistan to fly attack helicopters in the fight against the Taliban. They might be ready for him…
STILL no name to the naked female body seen in a clinch with a naked Prince Harry. We do, however, know the women who have gone topless for Harry. And now we see the men who hide their little princes behind all manner of objects, the pick of which is David Nemec and his tin of (miniature) Heroes. (Other camouflage to note in despatches: HP sauce; Kerplunk, a clock and stuffed teddies aplenty.)
PRINCE Harry wasn’t the first Royal to go naked. He won’t be the last. In this photo we see Czar Nicholas II and Courtiers bathing in the nude at Tsarskoye Selo. The photo is undated. Unlike Czar Nichaolas. On 17 July 1918, as anti-Bolsheviks murdered Nicholas on the orders of Bolshevik leader Vladimir Lenin. Come the revolution…
The Daily Mail says Harry is with the porntastically named Cressida Bonas (photos) – “on a trip to “Richard Branson’s Necker Island she and Prince Harry got closer than ever.” Overlooking the fact that after they got close, Harry got very close to an American billards enthusiast, Richard Dennen then rambles on about lots of nothing, not featuring a single photo of Harry and Bonas together. The highlights of this filler are the names, seemingly inspired by Damon Runyon. Bonas’s nickname is ‘Smally”; “her half-sister is Gabriella Calthorpe (“who operates under the pseudo-surname Wilde”); “at Leeds her boyfriend was Harry Wentworth-Stanley – whose stepfather is George Milford Haven”; mum is Mary-Gaye Curzon, who “rules her brood from Jubilee Place just off the Kings Road in Chelsea“; that brood being: Pandora Cooper-Key (‘Baba’), and Georgiana, Isabella (‘Bellie’) and Jacobi Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe (‘Cozy’).
CARRIE Reichert, 32, is the British-born woman who says she and a naked Prince Harry (photos) spent 20 minutes alone in his Las Vegas hotel room. Carrie – shy, demure Carrie – tells the People:
“We kissed, he was naked at the time, and pretty open. It was a drunken fumble. It wasn’t romantic, just fun. He was a gentleman, but he was so wasted. The alcohol affected him. I was there for 15 to 20 minutes.”
Carrie now lives in San Diego. SHe works as a beautician specialising in facials and hair removal:
Licensed as an Esthetician by the State of California since 2005, Carrie is also certified in Manual Lymphatic Drainage Massage, skin growth removal, Microdermabrasion and various skin peel modalities including TCA peels. Specializing in the treatment of environmentally damaged skin, Acne, Rosacea and Hyper-Pigmentation, Carrie has developed a unique understanding of these conditions. Also known for her signature facials and signature eyebrow design technique, Carrie customizes a relaxing yet therapeutic treatment for each client in order to ensure outstanding and lasting results.
“I was born in England and I’m pretty familiar with the royal family, but I didn’t know the guys he was with.”
DIANA Princess of Wales died 15 years ago today. Some say never died but lives on the fabled Sixth Floor of London’s Harvey Nichols department store. Her name resonates, turning the Windsors into ghosts, forever in her shadow. We like Wills and Harry because they are their sons. Diana, rejected by the ignorant pompous Windsors in life, was clutched to their bosom in death. Kate is ordained by the media to be thin and silky enough to be Diana’s successor.
The thing about Diana was that, unlike the Munsters she married into and their lackeys, she was not a snob. Nor was she self-righteous like her brother and Tony Blair, the Prime Minister at the time of her death:
THE British troops are supporting naked Prince Harry in his hour of need. Harry has closed his Facebook account. He should sue Las Vegas for not doing what it says on the tin (“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”). On the bright side, at least he waxed his buttocks. We present the best photos of Our Boys and Girls saluting the Queen’s own Harry:
THE Sun published Prince Harry in the buff, admitting as it did that newspapers are dead. Paul Ashford, Editorial Director of the Express and Star, has been on BBC Radio 4 to revels why his papers didn’t publish naked pictures of Harry, opting for a look-alike. They are “newspapers of principle“.
So says the paper that announced “that Simon Cowell was “dead“.
SO. How did the tabloids respond to the Leveson Effect and Prince Charles’s attempts to ban publication of his son Prince Harry’s naked self in the press? First they got an intern called Sophie Henderson to get naked with her boss and pretend to be Harry and “unnamed woman”. (Sorry, Sophie, it was for nought. Still, the office party should be a breeze.) Then they published the actual photos on the front page. The Mail went with a juxtaposed Harry and porn theme:
PS: Anyone got a photo of Charles and Camilla when they were having an affair? We live in changed times…
UNABLE to publish the photos of Prince Harry wearing his birthday suit in a Las Vegas hotel, the Sun got stunt doubles to adopt the role of the Prince and the unnamed woman. Sun readers got to see the Harry pose copied by “Sun man Harry Miller“, 31, and “intern Sophie Henderson, 21“.
Who’d be an intern, eh…?
PS: The taxpayers fund Prince Harry’s jolly times, so why can’t we see how he spends the cash?
GRANDAD has been in-and-out of hospital with a dicky dicky and Nana has, like all good matriarchs, been trying to keep everyone else ship-shape because you can’t rely on Dad because he’s still cavorting around with his second wife (he was never like that with Mum, who is no longer with us). Your older Brother is like David Watts, all well-behaved and captaining the sports team. Hell, he’s even got married and absolutely EVERYONE likes his new wife.
And so, here we are. The runt. The outsider. The Bart Simpson of the family. You’re Prince Harry. And you can’t stay out of trouble.
CELEBRITIES get stalked like prey, night and day. It’s been like that for years and unless there’s a change in behaviour or the law, then it’ll stay that way.
Not that celebs themselves seem to understand that. For example, Kate Middleton and Prince William are reportedly furious after an Australian magazine published private pictures of their honeymoon. It would seem we’re supposed to look at Royalty in a different light than common or garden famous people.
HOW do the nation’s newspapers report the news that Andy Murray (current status: British) is through to the semi-finals of Wimbledon? Well, it was a truly momentous day for Kate Middleton. As the sun sat in a bright blue sky, Kate stunned adoring onlookers, who had invested small fortunes to sit on Kate Knoll, by deftly dropping her shiny hair over her perfect ears. As white-clad men toiled below, the English champion of hearts…(continues for ever)…
WE are indebted to the Sun’s Ally Ross for spotting this gem from jobbing ninny . Young Tom is a “food writer”. Prince Charles is his step-dad. TOM HAS BENE ON itv’s This Morning. The caht went like this:
TP-B: “I’ve just been to Beirut.”
Holly Willoughby: “What sort of food do they have there?”
TP-B: “It’s sort of Lebanese.”
THE Prince of Wales and Camilla have been to Truro, Cornwall. They’ll then head off to the Isles of Scilly. The Prince of Wales is celebrating 60 years as the Duke of Cornwall. Or as Charles likes to term it: King of Cornwall.
WHEN we first saw this photo, we thought it was an old still of Princess Anne giving birth to Zara. But then we read the Press Association’s caption: “Equestrian – 2012 Barbury International Horse Trials – Day Two – Barbury Castle Estate: Zara Phillips riding High Kingdom during day two of the Barbury International Horse Trials at Barbury Castle Estate, Wiltshire.” As you were with those stirrups…
THE Queen has met with Northern Ireland Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness at the Lyric Theatre in Belfast. She could have met him at any other number of landmarks, but given the historical relevance of so many places, they had to meet in the theatre because the only other two spots on the Belfast tourist trail – the field where Rihanna got topless and a beach used for a scene in Holby City – were pre-booked…