Royal Family Category
The Royal Family, the House of Windsor, in the news and on a horse
THE Queen wanted Abu Hamza, the hooked-handed, one-eyed gurning loon of Finsbury Park, deported. Conspiacy theorists say that the State kept him in the UK for their own purposes:
RIP John Peter Houison Craufurd of Craufurdland. The Washer of the Sovereign’s Hands was 82. As the 28th laird of Craufurdland Castle, in Ayrshire, for it was he, said:
“We used to have to write to Buckingham Palace to offer to wash the monarch’s hands every time they were in residence at the Palace of Holyroodhouse. In his day, my father had to make that offer virtually every year, although it was very seldom accepted.
“More recently, we have been told by the Queen’s office that, as we have already washed her hands once, that is all she requires us to do. So now we have to wait until Prince Charles takes the throne before we do it again.”
CHIEF Kooffreh will now deliver his tribute to Princess Diana. It’s what she would have wanted…
Chief Kooffreh is an alumnus of the University of Massachusetts, Bentley College, Framingham State University. He lives in New York, New York with his wife Elizabeth Tampol Kooffreh, the “world-class actress“(see video 2):
HURRAH! Lawyers for Kate Middleton and Prince William, aka the Duke and Duchess of Kent, have won an injunction stopping Closer magazine from publishing those photos of her topless. The Tribunal de Grande Instance in Nanterre, Paris, is on the side of the angels. If Kate can now erase our minds, recall all the sold copies of Closer; scrub the images from the internet; defeat Chi magazine in similar style, force the photographer to hand over the images and never sell them again; jail the Daily Star Ireland news desk, all will be as perfect as it once was.
ANYONE wanting to see Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, topless in Provence can read Closer magazine (France), the Daily Star (Ireland), Chi magazine (Italy) or check them out on the world wide web. And here. And here. If you want to see topless stunnas making a la Kate to greet her as she tours the Solomon Island you can do so here. It’s the Streisand Effect in full swing. You might snigger.
Chi has form. In 2006, the magazine published photos of Princess Diana dying in Paris. Chi editor Umberto Brindani said the picrures were “touching” and “tender“.
THE Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, was fully clothed when she and husband, Prince William, arrived on Honiara, Guadalcanal Island, Solomon Islands. Some of the locals, however, showed sings of only having had read about Kate from various French and Italian tabloids:
All the photos on page 2:
Prince William wants Valerie Suau jailed for being French: Kate Middleton is topless (but not in Britain)
The Mirror says he did. Is Wills auditioning for job as the King of Thailand?
If the Mirror is right, Wills wants Valerie Suau, the photographer, to be sent to prison. The Daily Mail – hypocrite of hypocrites – tells readers Suau “is pronounced ‘sewer’”. She took the photos from a public road. The rights and wrongs are a matter for French law to rule on. The Windsors are suing Closer magazine for publishing the images. The fine is unlikely to top £24,000. So. Why has no British newspaper published the photographs? What happened to publish and be damned?
“There has been a significant hardening of William and Kate’s response to the publication of the topless photos.”
PSST! Wanna see photos of Kate Middleton, aka the Duchess of Cambridge, topless? Here you go:
YOU can see Kate Midleton, aka the Duchess of Cambridge, topless in France’s edition of Closer magazine. The Duchess of Cambridge is topless on the terrace of a guest house in the Luberon, Provence. The home is owned by Lord Linley, the Queen’s nephew. The magazine trails its scoop:
A little over a year after their marriage, the royal couple was offered a romantic getaway, far from the protocol, etiquette in a very garden of Eden. Almost alone in the world … For Closer was there! Discover a preview of the pictures the world in 24h comment.
After the holidays olé-olé of Prince Harry Veg as, discover the very sensual shots of Kate Middleton and her husband Prince William . Discover the incredible pictures of the future Queen of England as you’ve never seen … and as you never see her again!
TO Shipston in the Cotwolds, where Sheldon’s Wine Cellars is flogging Royal Blush, a line of booze featuting Dan Lacey’s portrait of naked Prince Harry screwing back on the Las Vegas baize. The rosé is called Royal Blush.
The pinky hues are the exact colour Harry’s cheeks shone after the impromptu game of ping-pong that followed the billards.
PRINCE Harry is in Afghanistan. You can see him being show the Apache flight-line by a member of his squadron (name not provided) at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan, where he will be operating from during his tour of duty as a co-pilot gunner. The Prince has returned to Afghanistan to fly attack helicopters in the fight against the Taliban. They might be ready for him…
PRINCE Harry wasn’t the first Royal to go naked. He won’t be the last. In this photo we see Czar Nicholas II and Courtiers bathing in the nude at Tsarskoye Selo. The photo is undated. Unlike Czar Nichaolas. On 17 July 1918, as anti-Bolsheviks murdered Nicholas on the orders of Bolshevik leader Vladimir Lenin. Come the revolution…
DIANA Princess of Wales died 15 years ago today. Some say never died but lives on the fabled Sixth Floor of London’s Harvey Nichols department store. Her name resonates, turning the Windsors into ghosts, forever in her shadow. We like Wills and Harry because they are their sons. Diana, rejected by the ignorant pompous Windsors in life, was clutched to their bosom in death. Kate is ordained by the media to be thin and silky enough to be Diana’s successor.
The thing about Diana was that, unlike the Munsters she married into and their lackeys, she was not a snob. Nor was she self-righteous like her brother and Tony Blair, the Prime Minister at the time of her death:
“OUR RED-HOT NIGHT WITH DIRTY HARRY”
We dash inside the news organ to discover what Harry got up to with those Las Vegas babes:
TWO of the “hot chicks” who romped with naked Prince Harry plan to heap more humiliation on the red-faced royal by selling their stories.
WHEN Prince Charles visited the Channel Islands on July 19, 2012, the heir danced a little. A meme was born:
Spotter: Daily Dot
The Times’ David Brown frames the problem in a killer line:
The Queen saw an embarrassingly large number of gaps in the seats at the sell-out event during a surprise visit to the 17,500-capacity Aquatics Centre in the Olympic Park.
Not that celebs themselves seem to understand that. For example, Kate Middleton and Prince William are reportedly furious after an Australian magazine published private pictures of their honeymoon. It would seem we’re supposed to look at Royalty in a different light than common or garden famous people.
HOW do the nation’s newspapers report the news that Andy Murray (current status: British) is through to the semi-finals of Wimbledon? Well, it was a truly momentous day for Kate Middleton. As the sun sat in a bright blue sky, Kate stunned adoring onlookers, who had invested small fortunes to sit on Kate Knoll, by deftly dropping her shiny hair over her perfect ears. As white-clad men toiled below, the English champion of hearts…(continues for ever)…
WE are indebted to the Sun’s Ally Ross for spotting this gem from jobbing ninny . Young Tom is a “food writer”. Prince Charles is his step-dad. TOM HAS BENE ON itv’s This Morning. The caht went like this:
TP-B: “I’ve just been to Beirut.”
Holly Willoughby: “What sort of food do they have there?”
TP-B: “It’s sort of Lebanese.”
THE Prince of Wales and Camilla have been to Truro, Cornwall. They’ll then head off to the Isles of Scilly. The Prince of Wales is celebrating 60 years as the Duke of Cornwall. Or as Charles likes to term it: King of Cornwall.
WHEN we first saw this photo, we thought it was an old still of Princess Anne giving birth to Zara. But then we read the Press Association’s caption: “Equestrian – 2012 Barbury International Horse Trials – Day Two – Barbury Castle Estate: Zara Phillips riding High Kingdom during day two of the Barbury International Horse Trials at Barbury Castle Estate, Wiltshire.” As you were with those stirrups…
PHOTO of the week features Her Majesty The Queen doing her now famous impression of New York comic Jackie Mason. Says Elizabeth toKate Middleton, “Do I like this?”
TODAY the Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall met up with the Dalai Lama at Clarence House, London. Holiness Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, is on a tour to promote Buddhism. Sadly, the Free Tibet concert has not forced the Chinese into leaving the Dalai Lama’s home country, meaning he cannot return the hospitality and welcome Charles into his palace. But he could follow Charles on Twitter. The Dalai Lama follows no-one on twitter. Like Eminem, who has never had Chalre sin his home, either…
The Prince of Wales and the Duchess of Cornwall greet the Dalai Lama (centre) at Clarence House, London. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Wednesday June 20, 2012. Charles is a long-time supporter of the exiled Tibetan spiritual leader who is seen by China as a separatist threat. Since the heir to the throne last met the Dalai Lama, he has held discussions with China's president Hu Jintao, raising the subject of Tibet with the leader during talks in London in 2009. The senior Buddhist figure arrived at Clarence House in a chauffeur-driven car and as he stepped into the doorway of the historic home the heir to throne appeared. Charles threw up his arms then placed his hands together in a prayer sign before hugging the Dalai Lama and sharing a few words with the spiritual figurehead. See PA story ROYAL Charles. Photo credit should read: Gareth Cattermole/PA Wire
THE Queen, Prince William and Kate Middleton, for it is ever she, have been on a trip to to Nottingham. They went to Vernon Park and larked about. The good news is that this time Her Aged Majesty got a seat, having been forced to stand for hours on end aboard a barge done up like a Thai brothel. If this is show we treat our elderly it is to the country’s eternal shame…