Jade Goody’s Mum Loses Jade Goody’s Little Sister In Cultural Nadir

ALAS! Jade Goody’s mum, Jackiey Budden, will not be a having a baby at 55 years of age.

The People learns that Budden has lost her growing baby 10 weeks into her pregnancy.

Jackiey, who “believes” the embryo was a girl, tells The People:

“I thought God was giving me one last chance to bring up a child. I thought Jade was bringing me a little girl from up there. It was like she was helping me from Heaven.”

Anorak

Posted: 25th, September 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Jade Goody Stars In Pantomime And Jack Tweed’s ‘Playboy’ Message

DAY Three of the tabloids’ Christmas Without Jade. Having seen Widow Hanky (Jackiey Budden) at her daughter’s graveside, heard from Buttons (Jeff Brazier) and experienced the Babes in the Woodford’s message to mum and her new best mate Michael Jackson, time to introduce Jack Tweed, aka Dickhead Whittington.

Anorak

Posted: 28th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Jade Goody Presents Pride Of Heaven Awards

“JADE Goody would be so proud” states the Daily Mirror’s front-page headline.

Jeff Brazier, Jade Goody’s old sparring partner, tells Mirror readers that Jade’s boys talks to her in heaven “and what he real thinks of Jack”.

We too are proud of Jeff for telling us how proud Jade is. They are the winners of Anorak’s first Pride of Heaven awards.

Jade Goody’s two young sons look up to the sky and ask: “Daddy, has Mummy’s hair grown back in Heaven?”

Dad Jeff Brazier hugs Bobby, six, and four-year-old Freddy tight, and smiling says: “‘Yes, Mummy’s got her hair back, she’s looking her best, wearing the lovely clothes she used to and she’s happy and joking a lot’.

“Whether it’s right or wrong, that’s what I tell them,” says Jeff.

Jackiey Budden, the Jade Goody Mum, could always ask Jade what she’s wearing at the next televised séance.

Anorak

Posted: 16th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)

Jade Goody’s New Reality TV Show Stars Jack Tweed, Katie Price And Kerry Katona

NEWS from Jade’s Goody Industries’ AGM is that The Jade Goody Mum, Jackiey Budden, “is very concerned about Jack Tweed’s current mental state. She wants him away from the kids.

“She met Jeff [Brazier – now a GMTV presenter] last week to discuss going to the High Court to get an injunction stopping him from having access to the children.”

One day on from telling readers that news, the Sun now tells us:

The womaniser burst into tears when he read The Sun’s revelations that Jackiey wants the High Court to rule he is unfit to be with the lads.

Anorak

Posted: 13th, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Jade Goody Launches New Perfume On Oprah Winfrey

JACKIEY Budden, marketer for Jade Goody industries, is in 2 hour séance with psychic Jayne Wallace. The perfume of kebab and sun cream. Jade, you there? Blurp!

“Jade wants to say, ‘Sorry Mum’ for not listening to you. She knows it was the biggest mistake she ever made – but she just wanted to be a princess. She still loves him and knows he loved her, but she’s disgusted with his behaviour and thinks it’s disrespectful to her memory and to you.”

Him is randy Jack Tweed, Mr Jade Goody, keeper of the Goody Privy Seal. And I am The Anorak, the media medium who told you that Jade would be back to appear in Big Brother 10. Jade… We feel your presence. Hey. Not that close. Get out of my face. Yeah, and you, you ****ing b****! Police!”

Anorak

Posted: 3rd, August 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)

Jade Goody’s Mum Dates Boris Johnson

HAVING introduced the world to Jade Goody’s step-lover – Goody Mum Jackiey Budden’s new fella – the Sun’s Andrew Parker tells us:

THE toyboy lover of Jade Goody’s grieving mum sent his ex saucy texts behind her back — including phone snaps of his MANHOOD which he calls BORIS.

The mind is infected by a large nose emerging from a mop of blonde hairs. As for the toyboy lover, well, if you found him in your Christmas stocking you’d ask for the receipt.

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 12th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Jade Goody’s Mum Shows Her New Lover

MORE news from the press office at  Jade Goody Industries as her grieving mum…

…“spoke for the first time about her blossoming new romance yesterday — and said: “Now Jade needn’t be scared that I’ll be alone.”

Jade Goody’s mum is Jackiey Budden who seems set to prove that there is more to her than being Jade Goody’s mum as she becomes Jade Goody’s mum with a new lover.

Read the rest of this entry »

Anorak

Posted: 11th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)

Jade Goody’s Mum Has A ‘Gun’

IN “Jade’s mum: I have a gun”, Sun readers learn that Jade Goody’s mum, Jackiey. Budden, “sparked an airport terror alert yesterday — after saying that she had a GUN.”

Jade has died and in a bid to keep her place in the papers warm ready for any return the papers spot the professional Jade Goody mum on her way to the sun.

Anorak

Posted: 28th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)

Jade Goody Advertises Jo Malone Face Cream

WITH Jade Goody open to offers, and Jack Tweed in choky, it is left to Jackiey Bunden to keep the brand alive with an exclusive interview in OK!.

Having asked the media to leave the family alone, Jade’s mum now bravely pulls on a dress, tightens a belt and leans back in hr deisnger kitchen to tells us:

“JADE BEGGED ME TO SMOTHER HER WITH A PILLOW.”

Anorak

Posted: 21st, April 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)