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Lily Allen And The Horrors of Aggressive Marketing

American R&B singer Macy Gray receiving her award for Best International Newcomer, during the Brit Awards 2000 ceremony, held at Earls Court in west London. Date: 03/03/2000

American R&B singer Macy Gray receiving her award for Best International Newcomer, during the Brit Awards 2000 ceremony, held at Earls Court in west London.
Date: 03/03/2000

 

ONE thing that has always been a major force in music, is marketing. Songs don’t accidentally find their way to listeners, unless you’re a crazy crate digger who actively looks between the cracks for music.

One of the finest pieces of music marketing, one that stills hangs around subtly today, saw Macy Gray becoming a huge star (albeit briefly). The job they did on her was magnificent. Basically, so sly was the campaign behind her, that listeners convinced themselves that they’d discovered her all by themselves.

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Posted: 8th, May 2014 | In: Music | Comment


Lily Allen: Not Keen On Feminists

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FEMINISTS are really, if we’re being honest here, only truly great at one thing – and that’s picking holes in people’s arguments. That would be the arguments of the patriarchy, sexists and bigots and, most importantly, the arguments of other feminists.

Throwing a match on the kindling is Lily Allen, who thinks feminism shouldn’t even be a thing in 2014, stating that “everyone is equal” in the modern world.

Good news for all those children who have been victims of FGM, the women who are denied rights by backward governments and the rest.

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Posted: 8th, March 2014 | In: Music | Comment


Lily Allen reports racist soldier to MoD

THINGS have been a little quieter since Lily Allen became a mother. Shame really, given that we actively need a controversial, erudite popstar about the place. Mercifully, we didn’t have to wait long before Lily got back in the saddle and started getting caught in a shitstorm.

And once more, it is a twitter scandal.

It all started when a man claiming to be a soldier serving in the British Army sent her an abusive message, which read “just seen you bought shit, I mean adopted a child from Africa.” The man in question removed the message but, alas, it was too late because it had already been reported on by NME.

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Posted: 11th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


X Factor Ceri Rees Is Saved By Lily Allen On Twitter

THE News of The World abused the stars of its stories (see Milly Dowler) but its sister organ The Sun sticks to its pet causes like last night’s kebab to the bathroom sink. The front page reports that the X Factor is not dead because it’s watched by Lily Allen, and she says Ceri Rees is being exploited.

See the front-page news:

X factor Ceri in bullies storm

We are told:

LILY Allen last night joined mental health charities and thousands of furious fans in accusing X Factor bosses of exploiting contestant Ceri Rees.

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Posted: 20th, September 2011 | In: TV & Radio | Comments (17)


Pregnant Lily Allen Marries At Gloucestershire Conservative Youth Rally (Photos)

LILY Allen is now married to Sam Cooper. She’s four months’ pregnant. She married at St James the Great Church in Cranham, Gloucs, near her £3million home.

The dress was designed by French designer Delphine Manivet. On first reading that read like Delphine MiniVan. But all is barely showing, and the big Rolls Royce transporter sufficed

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Posted: 12th, June 2011 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment


Lily Allen Marries Sam Cooper: Wedding Photos

UNCONVENTIONAL Lily Allen married her lover Sam Cooper at St James The Great Church in Cranham. She wore white. She had bridesmaids. Then she went to live in the country – as pop stars always do…

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Lily Allen arrives at St James The Great Church in Cranham with her father Keith Allen for her wedding to Sam Cooper.

Posted: 11th, June 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Ivor Novello Awards 2011: All The Winners In Photos

THE Ivor Novello Awards 2011 In Photos – featuring: Plan B took (winners of awards for Album Of The Year (The Defamation Of Strickland Banks), Most Performed Work (She Said) and Best Songwriter; Tinie Tempah’s gong for Best Contemporary Song (Pass Out); Dizzee Rascal gets the – ahem – Inspiration Award; Villagers’ Conor O’Brien who won Best Song Musically And Lyrically (Becoming A Jackal); Muse with their International Achievement award ; Lily Allen, Katy B, Jo Whiley, Beverly Knight, Jimmy Page, Bombay Bicycle Club, Foals and Paul Simon.

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Dominic Howard, Matthew Bellamy and Christopher Wolstenhome of Muse with their International Achievement award at the 2011 Ivor Novello awards held at the Grosvenor House Hotel, London.

Posted: 19th, May 2011 | In: Music | Comment


Sara Buys Is Our Nominative Determinism Hero Of the Year

YOU might well wonder what kind of person attends the launch of Equire’s monthly magazine at Sketch, an eatery in London? Hungry ones, we’d wager. We expected little. But among the faces of the ubiquitous liggers – Lily Allen (nice teeth), celebrity actress Jaime Winstone, Abbey Clancy (making backs this year’s body part) and Jameela Jamil – there was Prince’s William’s step-brother (fresh out of his wedding doggy bag) and his wife…Sara Buys.

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Posted: 6th, May 2011 | In: Celebrities | Comment


What Links Kate Middleton And Lily Allen? Katie Nicholl Knows

LILY Allen and Kate Middleton are two peas in a pod. Allen hasn’t been in the news much latterly, so the time is apt for her to go on Twitter and called Daily Mail gossak Katie Nicholl (can we coin that word?) a “CUNT” and her column “shitty”.

Katie Nicholl’s crime was to suggest that Lily was all set to marry her lover Sam Cooper. Lily Allen’s response is to say,

…you know nothing about the intimate details of my life. There’s a time and a place for your musings where I’m concerned, and it’s not now“.

Lily fails to read Nicholl’s work and realise that eventually Nicholl may well be right – as she was proved to be in the case of her invaluable insights into Kate Middleton and Prince William. Here’s a short history of Katie’s works:

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Posted: 1st, December 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lily Allen’s Lost Baby Used To Market The Fertility Show: PR Hell

LILY Allen has lost her baby. Her bereavement is public property as celebs and tabloid media battle to show who cares the most on Twitter and in print. But they look noble compared to the Fertility Show’s PR team which see a marketing opportunity in a couple’s crisis:

“As Lily Allen announces her second miscarriage in just 3 years, ‘recurrent miscarriage’ is tackled by experts at this week’s Fertility Show.”

Nice. And what’s recurent miscarriage , then? Lily Allen has miscarried twice:

Recurrent miscarriage (ie when miscarriage occurs 3 or more times) is highly distressing…

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Posted: 2nd, November 2010 | In: Online-PR | Comment


Lily Allen Loses Baby On Twitter: Triggers Orchestrated Grief And Mourn Porn

LILY Allen is no longer pregnant, having lost her baby. She was six months pregnant. Sad news. For her. It is a bereavement.  But to the tabloid media and grandstanding celebrities looking to show strangers how much they care it is a matter of national solidarity and orchestrated mawkish pity. The front-page headline commands readers to:

“SAY A LITTLE PRAYER”.

For a paper that sucked up regurgitated ever line Alistair Campbell spun – he who told Tony Blair: “I’m sorry, we don’t do God” – this looks like opportunism to get a celebrity on the cover. But, then, we read on and realise that Lily Allen is the source of the quote. She went on Twitter to tell her followers (fans and showbiz hacks looking for a quote on a slow new day):

“Say a little prayer.”

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Posted: 2nd, November 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (52)


Pregnant Lily Allen Inspires The Tamara Drew Sequel? Pictures

WE spotted Gemma Arterton, arriving for the UK premiere of Tamara Drewe, the film version of Posy Simmons’ knowing graphic book and Guardian comic strips set on a writers’ retreat for pretentious shits, narcissists and adulterers.

They all who want to shag Tamara. It’s tupping season in the county and Tamara is the needy prize sow.

But at the premier Arterton she was upstaged by Lily Allen. The urban singer is pregnant. Allen recently moved from London to the Cotswolds.

Thanks to Allen, Simmons’ satire might yet get new shot of life…

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Louis Winstone arrives at the UK premiere of Tamara Drewe, at the Odeon Leicester Square in central London.

Posted: 6th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Ivor Novello Awards 2010: Winners And Pictures

LILY Allen scooped her three Ivor Novello Awards. Says she: “Really, truly, from the bottom of my heart, it’s the songs I’m most proud of. This song [The Fear] is so much about feeling lost in a lot of ways. All of a sudden, this has made me feel found.” Johnny Marr won the “inspiration prize”. Says he: “I always thought that the greatest thing you can achieve as a musician is to be called an inspiration – aside from a big house in Sunningdale obviously.”

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Lily Allen is interviewed after winning Best Song Musically & Lyrically to add to her earlier PRS For Music Most Performed Work at the Ivor Novello Awards at the Grosvenor House in central London.

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Posted: 20th, May 2010 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment


‘Pregnant’ Neo-Luddite Lily Allen Postpones Retirement

LILY Allen gave up music on May 2, 2010. We know this because she told us:

I’d like to live in the country and have chickens and pigs. It’s a great job but it doesn’t leave time for what’s important – like having a family. I’m going to do one more album. I just want to make some money – maybe I could retire at 25.”

Lily Allen, the neo-Luddite, tells Absolute Radio:

“I’d like to have a child within a year. It’ll be a minimum of four or five years before I make a record again.”

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Posted: 16th, May 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


In Pictures: Harrods Under Al Fayed – Pussy Cat Dolls, Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Bra And Stuffed Bears

HARROD’S has been sold by Mohamed al Fayed for £1.5bn to a buyer understood to be the Qatari royal family. Will the shrine to Princess Diana and Dodi Fayed remain in the store? Will Al Fayed now also sell Fulham FC? Will he auction off his collection of vomit ‘n’ cuff shirts? Will Prince Philip use the hallowed urinals (£1 a go) once again? Fayed’s reign at Harrods seemed to be a chance for him to meet famous women and hand them something furry to stroke. On our photo collection, Fayed seemed to have more than passing liking for Jennifer Love Hewitt (11-13), the Pussy Cat Dolls, who all got pet a pussy to pet, Lily Allen (5) and all the girls he’s met before…

You find joy in the simplest pleasures.

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The Pussycat Dolls (from left: Melody, Carmit, Ashley, Nicole, Kimberley and Jessica) share a joke with store owner Mohammed Al Fayed as they open the Harrods Summer Sale, Harrods, west London.

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Posted: 8th, May 2010 | In: The Consumer | Comment (1)


Lily Allen Does MEN With Dizzee Rascal: In Pictures

DIZZEE Rascal had another go at saving the British music industry from Simon Cowell’s pap factory at The Manchester Evening News Arena, in Manchester. Also there was celebrity pop mouth Lily Allen, the reformed Luddite fresh from reassembling her computer and Tweeting that Courtney Lover is an old crone:

She’s upset because she has got it into her head that i put a lock on some dresses for the brit awards. She’s made no secret of this and, when i saw her at the NME’s she tried to talk to me and i told her to shut up and stop spreading stupid rumours about me.”

Adding:

“And thats pretty much it. I would never fight with her, as a rule I don’t pick on crazy old ladies.”

So she ended it there. Until she didn’t:

it’s the sort of thing a paranoid drug addled lunatic might come up with.

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Posted: 6th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Brits Awards In Pictures: JLS Win, Dizzee Rascal Saves And Cheryl Cole Fights A Paper Bag and Loses

THE Brits Awards show was the AGM to end all music industry AGMs this month. JLS proved likeable, and not just because we bumped into Aston Merrygold in Brent X, Lady GaGa, Madonna’s camel (a popstar formed by committee) did everything to hide her face, Dizzee Rascal rocked and with Florence saved the UK pop industry from Cheryl Cole fighting her way out of a paper bag…

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Geri Halliwell (right) and Melanie Brown (left) collect the award for 'Best Brit perforamce of 30 years' on behalf of the Spice Girls during the BRIT Awards 2010, at Earls Court, London.

Posted: 16th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Lady Gaga Nativity Play Chic Presents The Brits In Pictures

LADY Gaga’s nativity play chic presents the Brit Awards 2010 in pictures. Featuring Lily Allen in a Camden Council recycling triumph, Natasha Khan, Lady Gaga Katie Melua Daniel Merriweather Seasick Steve, Dizzee Rascal, Calvin Harris, Taio Cruz, Leona Lewis, Pixie Lott, Courtney Love, Florence Welch, Alexandra Burke and…

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Lady Gaga arriving for the BRIT Awards 2010, at Earls Court, London.

Posted: 16th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)


Sarah Brown Is Wally And Chris Martin’s Sperm Negative Present The Evening Standard Film Awards: Pictures

8332557TO the Evening Standard Film Awards at The Movieum in County Hall, with the ubiquitous Jaime Winstone, Lily Allen lite Alfie Allen, Chris Martin dressed as Woody Allen’s sperm negative, Andy Serkis, Carey Mulligan, Sacha Baron Cohen, with his Peter Sellers Award for Comedy, Anne-Marie Duff, James McAvoy, Armando Iannucci, Jenny Agutter, Nicolas Roeg, Eva Green and professional ligger and photo-op hunter Sarah Brown, aka Where’s Wally:

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Chris Martin arrives at the Evening Standard Film Awards at The Movieum in County Hall, London.

Posted: 9th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lily Allen Turns Her Back And Dimpled Thighs On Twitter

7879401LILY Allen gave up Twitter and a world groaned. Said Allen: “I am a neo-luddite.” She didn’t smash up her lap-top, mobile , iPod and whatever other gadgets she keeps in her handbag, but she gave them away. She craved the “real life”. She flew arond the world on horse-drawn fluying birds.

She even stood in a barn in rural Paris as women in timeless fashion walked – walked! – around here.

She told us:

“I won’t use email, I play records on vinyl, I don’t blog. I’ve got more time, more privacy. We’ve ended up in this world of unreal communication and I don’t want that. I want real life back.”

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Posted: 3rd, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment


‘Insecure’ Angelina Jolie Joins Lily Allen Glee Club

jolie-pitt1HEAT magazine claims on its front cover to be “bursting with glee” as it delivers the headline that Brad Pitt’s lover Angelina Jolie is “INSECURE”.

SHE USED TO BE FRESH-FACED AND CAREFREE

That was then. She’s

NOW SHE’S BITTER, EXHAUSTED AND DRIVING BRAD AWAY

Angelina Jolie (NSFW)

Feel the glee. She’s also a mother many times over and older and looking, well, better than you.

Angelina’s Jolie’s changing looks are contrasted with Lily Allen’s, a homegrown girl who has “WON HER BODY BATTLE”.

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Posted: 2nd, February 2010 | In: Heat | Comment


When Katie Price Met Amanda Holden, Eyebrows Were Raised And Stayed Raised: In Pictures

KATIE Price has been promoting her range of riding clothing at the London International Horse Show, at Olympia, London. No arseless chap, metallic cowboy hats and whips. Katie wore jumper and trousers. In other Katie Price news, Amanda Holden tells News of The World readers how she met Katie Price. No, it isn’t Halloween. It was Piers Morgan’s party.

“…Katie grabs my hands and suddenly starts belting out Bryan Adams’ Heaven… A few drinks later, we’re having photos taken and Katie begins posing provocatively on the floor as if she’s on a calendar shoot. Lily Allen looks on horrified and bursts into tears. “Somebody needs to help her, this is awful to watch,” she sobs, so I put my arm around her and try to calm her down. I share Lily’s concerns, though. Before I leave, I see Katie singing to the entire room. She seems so vulnerable. I feel sad, but it’s not my place to rescue her.”

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Posted: 19th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Lily Allen In Brixton Proves The RATM V Joe McElderry Fight Is Worthless

LILY Allen performs at Brixton Academy, London. For all the pressure to buy Joe McElderry or Rage Against The Machine and give one of them a novelty Christmas No.1. Whatever you buy, music carries on. Lily Allen is a genuine popstar who does her thing and gets way with it. On one hand, the music business is in such a desperate state that Paul McCartney sings on the X Factor final. On the other hand, Lily Allen shows that if you play the game, you can achieve success by enjoying yourself and being yourself …

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Lily Allen performs at Brixton Academy, London.

Posted: 18th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)


Lily Allen Plays And Serves Birmingham NIA In Pictures

LILY Allen performs live in concert at The NIA in Birmingham. Lily Allen’s latest shtick is to serve pints to her fans: “They asked me what I wanted, so I said a bar with Guinness. The people standing on the front row get here so early and forego their bar time, so I’m going to serve them drinks.” We might be warming to Lily Allen…

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Lily Allen performs live in concert at The NIA in Birmingham, UK

Posted: 25th, November 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment


X Factor: Olly Murs Kisses Stacey Solomon And Lily Allen Throws Punch For Cheryl Cole

olly-murs-stacey-solomon1X FACTOR Watch: Olly Murs is dating Stacey Solomon while ogling Dannii Minogue’s bum, Cheryl Cole and Ashley’s nightmare and Lily Allen throws a punch for Cheryl Cole…

The X Factor round-up:

Daily Mirror (front page): “OLLY LOVES ME”

Olly Murs and Stacey Solomon are an item. So says the Mirror:

Their outrageous flirting has become the talk of the show – and everyone agrees they make a lovely couple. Especially after it was revealed that X Factor rivals Stacey Solomon, 19, and Olly Murs, 25, have just shared their first kiss.

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Posted: 14th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)