Anorak

Celebrities | Anorak - Part 60

Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

Morrissey Is Writing Books Because No-One Likes His Records Anymore

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FANS of The Smiths, and in particular Morrissey, are a weirdly devoted bunch. Their fervour isn’t matched by the output they receive from the Grand Miserablist.

The Smiths, of course, deserve their place in the annals of popular music simply for popularising an outcast spirit of disenfranchisement. They turned it into an artform and teenagers the world over fell for it, hook, line and sinker. Their records, objectively, weren’t great for the most part… but like The Clash or The Doors, it is what The Smiths stood for which made them so loved.

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Posted: 3rd, January 2014 | In: Celebrities, Music, Reviews | Comments (3)


Watch The Day The Clown Cried: Jerry Lewis’s Holocaust Horror Show

THE Day The Clown Cried is an unreleased 1972 Jerry Lewis film. It’s the story of a clown who finds himself in a concentration camp during the Holocaust.

Like the Aryan Papers, Stanley Kubrick’s Holocaust drama, Francis Ford Coppola’s Megalopolis and David O Russell’s Nailed (a small town waitress gets a nail accidentally lodged in her head causing unpredictable behavior that leads her to Washington, DC) you won’t have seen it.

 

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The film ends in a gas chamber, with the clown going in to face his death with a group of terrified children, trying to make them laugh in order take away their fear. It ends with them all locked in, the kids laughing as the clown juggles stale bread.

 

American comedian Jerry Lewis performs as a clown at the 38th Gala de L'Union des Artistes at the Cirque d'Hiver in Paris, France, April 24, 1971. Watching in the background are, from left, Italian film director and producer Vittorio de Sicca, opera singer Maria Callas, unidentified woman, Italian actress Gigliola Cinmetti and French singer Hughes Aufray.

American comedian Jerry Lewis performs as a clown at the 38th Gala de L’Union des Artistes at the Cirque d’Hiver in Paris, France, April 24, 1971. Watching in the background are, from left, Italian film director and producer Vittorio de Sicca, opera singer Maria Callas, unidentified woman, Italian actress Gigliola Cinmetti and French singer Hughes Aufray.

 

Why did he make it?

 

JerryLewis.com has more:

In 1971, producer Nate Waschberger asked Jerry to direct and star in “The Day the Clown Cried”, based on Joan O’Brien’s book by the same name, about a German clown who was arrested by the Gestapo, interred in a concentration camp, and used to march Jewish children into the ovens. Jerry lost close to 40 pounds to play the role. The shooting began in Stockholm, but Waschberger not only ran out of money to complete the film, but he failed to pay Joan O’Brien the money she was owed for the rights to the story. Jerry was forced to finish the picture with his own money. The film has been tied up in litigation ever since, and all of the parties involved have never been able to reach an agreeable settlement. Jerry hopes to someday complete the film, which remains to this day, a significant expression of cinematic art, suspended in the abyss of international litigation.

 

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Why was it never released? In 2009, Lewis spoke with Entertainment Weekly:

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: When I asked you about The Day the Clown Cried, you shut me down pretty quickly.
JERRY LEWIS: Why do I want to go there? If you want to play 10 Questions with me, you can ask me any 10 questions you want about it and you’ll get a pretty good amount of answers. And it will only be to satisfy you that it’s not so shut-down because you’re a nice man and I’m comfortable with you. I’ll give you 10 questions.

You’re serious?
Yeah.

Okay, I better weigh them…
I’ve never done this before, I’d like to see what I come up with. Don’t f— this up, Chris!

Do they have to be yes/no questions?
No, I didn’t say that. That’s kind of limiting.

Will I ever see The Day the Clown Cried?
He writes on a piece of white paper in green ink: NO.

Is there more than one copy of the film?
He writes: NO.

Is the film in a safe somewhere?
Yes, yeah.

Okay, number four: is the reason the film has not been released because you are unhappy with it?
He writes: Yes/No.
Which doesn’t mean that Yes, I’m unhappy with the work that I did. But who am I preserving it for? No one’s ever gonna see it. But the preservation that I believe is that, when I die, I’m in total control of the material now. Nobody can touch it. After I’m gone, who knows what’s going to happen? I think I have the legalese necessary to keep it where it is. So I’m pretty sure that it won’t be seen. The only thing that I do feel, that I always get a giggle out of, some smart young guy like Chris is going to come up with an idea and he’s going to run the f—ing thing. I would love that. Because he’s going to see a hell of a movie!

I was going to ask you, it’s only creating more interest and tougher criticism if and when it is ever shown.
Of course, of course. What the f— is he saving?!

 

I’m honestly surprised as hell.I am too. I’m very surprised. There’s a gurgling inside that I get when I think about, would this make certain that the Holocaust would never happen again? It’s too small a piece. It isn’t large enough to make a dynamic impact.

Do you think Jewish audiences would like it?
Jews? Oh, they would love it. I traveled for 18 months from Stuttgart to Belsen to Auschwitz. I was putting together my crew and they brought me a man named Rolf, who was the guy who pulled the f—ing lever on the gas chamber. And I said the only way I ever allow him near me, no less interview him, would be if he understood that I am concerned about the accuracy of the film and it would be because I need some information. But I said to my production manager, “I’m not sure I can handle it.” After about six weeks of pretty good meditation, I talked to the guy. The question nobody could answer, that the victims couldn’t answer, was: Where were they [when they] were waiting for the ones ahead of them in the gas chambers? How long were they waiting? Where were they standing? Was there an adjacent room? Did they sit? What kind of time was involved? The torture here was waiting! And they couldn’t dull the sound effects, the screaming. Could I get that information from this man? I wanted to wear a mask so he wouldn’t know it was me. When he came into the office and sat down, I thought, This poor human being. I’m sitting there and it was five after nine at night by the time we were done talking and I was…undone. But he gave me the bottom of his f—ing soul! He wanted penance. I kept looking at his right hand. I was going to ask him which hand did you do it with? I couldn’t do it.

 

Jerry Lewis, center, shot first sequence of his film The Day the Clown cried and seen here left with French actor Pierre Etaiy, right, March 20, 1972, Paris, France.

Jerry Lewis, center, shot first sequence of his film The Day the Clown cried and seen here left with French actor Pierre Etaiy, right, March 20, 1972, Paris, France.

 

You can read the film’s script in full here.

 

Screen shot 2014-01-03 at 13.19.40

Harry Shearer told Spy Magazine:

With most of these kinds of things, you find that the anticipation, or the concept, is better than the thing itself. But seeing this film was really awe-inspiring, in that you are rarely in the presence of a perfect object. This was a perfect object. This movie is so drastically wrong, its pathos and its comedy are so wildly misplaced, that you could not, in your fantasy of what it might be like, improve on what it really is. “Oh My God!” — that’s all you can say.

Screen shot 2014-01-03 at 13.18.28

 

 

The footage:

Posted: 3rd, January 2014 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comment


Pink Floyd: Syd Barrett’s First Trip (Magic Mushrooms) Filmed In 1966

SYD Barrett’s first trip (magic mushrooms) as filmed in 1966 by Nigel Lesmoir-Gordon.

 

SEE RANK Syd Barrett's First Trip

 

This experimental silent short is very rare (filmed in 8mm) and only lasts 11 minutes. Nigel Gordon, film student, filmed Syd Barrett while he tripped on mushrooms. This film is made up of two parts. Part 1: Syd tripping at Gog Magog Hills. Part 2: April ’67, Pink Floyd right after they signed their first recording contract, with EMI Records at Abbey Road Studios.

 

Pink Floyd - 1967. Back row: Roger Waters (l) and Nick Mason. Front row: Syd Barrett (l) and Rick Wright.

Pink Floyd – 1967. Back row: Roger Waters (l) and Nick Mason. Front row: Syd Barrett (l) and Rick Wright.

 

Early signs of the Pink Floyd front-man’s mental disintegration were apparent in 1967. That year he appeared on stage with an entire tube of Brylcreem in his hair into which – according to some accounts – he had crushed a handful of Mandrax tablets. Mandies or not, the lotion melted under the lights, leaving him looking like ‘a guttered candle’. The song Vegetable Man (unreleased) reflected Syd’s self-loathing at the time…

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Posted: 2nd, January 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Music | Comment


Operation Yewtree Calls Cheryl Cole?

JAMES Robertson is helping the Daily Mirror gain ground on Bullshit.com by wrapping a lot of words around wrapping a story around Cheryl Cole’s Instagram photo.The headline tells readers:

Cheryl Cole celebrates New Year by kissing the luckiest boy in the entire world

Boy?

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Posted: 2nd, January 2014 | In: Celebrities | Comment


BBC Wusses Out Of Top Of The Pops Anniversary Special Because of Jimmy Savile

THIS year would mark the 50th anniversary of Top Of The Pops. The show was, until relatively recently, a cornerstone of British television. A mixture of people’s interest shifting to the internet, and the BBC’s complete failure to stay in touch with youth culture and an over-reliance on the Glastonbury coverage saw TOTP falling by the wayside.

savile 50

And then there’s the ongoing Jimmy Savile child abuse scandal.

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Posted: 2nd, January 2014 | In: Music, Reviews, TV & Radio | Comment


Awkward Band Publicity Photos

awkward band photo 1

TO MAKE IT in the music biz and get some publicity, it used to be a requirement to take some “professional” photographs for local newspapers, magazines, and venue posters.    Trouble is, thirty to forty years later someone like me is going to share them with the world.  Chances are, your press photos are a tad on the awkward side, and I’ll have a snarky comment or two.  Shake it off.  It’s all in good fun. Maybe you can even point and laugh at the other bands.

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Posted: 2nd, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment


DJ Derek Sweet Memory Sounds: A Tribute To The UK’s Original White Reggae Star

DJ derek

DJ Derek is Derek Serpell-Morris. He’s 72. Last night the Bristolian played his last ever show at London’s Notting Hill Arts Club. Derek is the Cadbury accountant who became a much-loved dance hall DJ.

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Posted: 1st, January 2014 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment


The Steve Buscemi Christmas Jesus Candle

ETSY seller DMAGIC has created this wondrous Steve Buscemi Christmas Candle:

candles by etsy

 

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Posted: 31st, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment


When Muhammad Ali Met Michael Jackson And Became The ‘Jackson Six’

WHEN Muhammad Ali and Michael Jackson in 1977:

Mohammed Ali and Michael Jackson

 

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Posted: 31st, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Sports | Comment


Eddie Izzard Was Born in London, Capital Of Yemen

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CAN we trust Eddie Izzard to be Mayor of London?

He tells the Guardian‘s Decca Aitkenhead on December 14, 2013:

 “Look, it doesn’t really matter,” he says curtly. “I do universal humour.” Eventually, he says, he will learn Arabic, too. “I was born in Yemen, so it’s my duty to do this when Arab people are struggling so hard to try to get democracy going. I have to play Yemen. This is right that I should be doing this.”

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Posted: 30th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Extreme Dieting: Keith Moon Versus Hunter S Thompson

Keith Moon, the eccentric drummer of The Who, at Heathrow Airport with his girlfriend Annette Walker-Lax, on return from the United States. PA/PA Archive/Press Association Images

Keith Moon, the eccentric drummer of The Who, at Heathrow Airport with his girlfriend Annette Walker-Lax, on return from the United States. 

THE late Keith Moon was once asked whether he thought he was the greatest drummer in the world, he replied: “I’m the greatest Keith Moon-style drummer in the world”, and no one can argue with that. However Moon is just as famous, even today, for packing in far more than his fair share of convivial nights during his short eventful life. He died in September 1978 just two weeks after his 32nd birthday when he fell unconscious, never to wake up, in the Mayfair flat of his close-friend Harry Nilsson. Coincidentally, it was the very same bed where Mama Cass Elliot had died four years earlier.

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Posted: 27th, December 2013 | In: Books, Celebrities, Key Posts, Music | Comments (2)


Are You Ready For Candy Crush, The Movie?

WE’VE entered a strange time for films. Films everyone can remember first time round are being remade, Ryan Reynolds is still getting work and, weirdest of all, films are being made based on toys.

Now, of course, action figures and the like have ended up on the silver screen, but the Rihanna-starring ‘Battleship’, based on a coordinates board game, flummoxed everyone. What next? Well, to save us all from a ‘what’s next – [insert ludicrous ‘Monkey Tennis’ idea here] joke’, we’ll cut to the chase.

Candy Crush, that’s what.

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Posted: 27th, December 2013 | In: Film, Technology, The Consumer | Comment


In 2013 British Parents Named Their Children Ream, Lohan, Puppy And Tea

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DID the parents of three children named Ream pick the moniker in honour of The Only Way Is Essex’s Joey Essex, who uses the word to men “good” or “well good”?

One reason we like Essex is that his name fits his job. He lives and works in Essex. He is called Essex. It’s hard to think that Joey Dorset would have faired to well. And Joey Kent would have been viewed as an interloper.

The Sun says Essex has inspired: “A Ream come true for fans of Towie – Babies named after Joey’s catchphrase.”

Dippy TV star Joey, 23, usually spells it “Reem” and together with “Creepysick” uses it to describe something as “amazing”.

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Posted: 27th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Strange But True | Comment (1)


#TearsForPiers: Piers Morgan V Brett Lee

ON Australia’s  The Cricket Show. Piers Morgan faced Brett Lee. There was nowhere to hide:

Posted: 27th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Sports | Comment


The Celebrity Party Tricks Hall of Fame

IN Huddersfield in 1977, the Sex Pistols held a Christmas party for the children of striking firefighters.

 

 

A documentary about this party and the extraordinary times in which it occurred, when the band were hounded from pillar to post and banned in most towns, will be shown on BBC 4 at 10pm on Boxing Day (and subsequently on the iPlayer).

By rock’n’roll standards the party was tame, but Johnny Rotten’s antics – including diving face first into the cake – deserve a modest place in the Celebrity Party Tricks Hall of Fame.

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Posted: 27th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment


PETA – The Charity For People Who Fantasise About Humans Burning

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A PETA press release received actually says this:

“In 2009, Morrissey made international headlines when he walked off stage at a US music festival, stating that he hoped the ‘burning flesh’ he smelled was human… So it was only fitting that he was named PETA’s Person of the Year in 2011.”

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Posted: 25th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment


The Tao of David Coleman

The Tao of David Coleman

Coleman1

He was born at Alderley Edge, the place now famous as the luxury location of choice for the gated homes of multi-millionaire footballers. But Coleman is a man synonymous with the blurred black-and-white ‘soccer’ of a more simple, if not innocent era.

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Posted: 25th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Key Posts, Sports, TV & Radio | Comment


Celebrity Angle of the Year: What Does The Fonz Think Of The Heathrow Expansion?

HAVING trouble working out which airport plan for London is best? Well, worry no more. The Fonz is here to help make sense of it all. Hey-throw:

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Posted: 25th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment


How To Cook Nigella’s Goose: The Grillo Sisters’ Recipe For Revenge (Cold Cuts)

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WANT to know about the “REAL” Nigella Lawson? The Grillo sisters are here to stick the knife into Nigella’s voluptuous moist goose.*

RYAN PARRY, EMMA FOSTER and JAMES BEAL (three journalists in capital letters) tells us that “DOMESTIC Goddess Nigella Lawson took a string of shortcuts at Christmas — despite her image as the perfect festive hostess.”

The Grillo sisters – and what about that name for an Italian lean, mean grilling machine, readers? –  are “ex-servants Francesca Grillo and sister Elisabetta”.

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Posted: 24th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)


Nigella Lawson Trial: How Courtroom Artists Show Her Inner And Outer Turmoil

PA-18386678

 

NIGELLA Lawson v her now former personal assistants Francesca and Elisabetta Grillo was pretty entertaining for anyone not directly involved in the matter. Nigella did enjoy being pulled apart in court with no right of reply; and the sisters look too stressed to morph their new-found fame into a stint in the celebrity jungle.

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Posted: 24th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Reviews | Comment


Glen Hanson Creates Shower Curtains For A Hollywood Entrance

NEW York’s Glen Hanson gives hope to your tired, mildewed bathroom. We’re talking sho0wer curtains: those dank, cold-to-the-touch, unusually stained nylon bath drapes that harbour  several new strains of e-Coli and an axe murderer.  But mo more. Shower curtains are now portals to a dimension of star-speckled glamour and Divine’s trailer:

 

Grey Gardens

shower curtains 1

 

 

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Posted: 23rd, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment


10 Wonderfully Insane VHS Action Movie Covers

HERE are some particularly interesting examples of VHS box art in the  action genre.  And by “interesting” I mean “utterly insane”.  These covers represent the perfect synergy of over-the-roof subject matter in the hands of unskilled mental patients.  The words “quality control” and “subtlety” simply weren’t a part of the vocabulary of VHS cover artists…. And that’s why we love them so.

 

Raw Force (1982) 

RAW FORCE

Aside from the three apostrophes that have no business being there, this VHS cover is about as good as it gets.  You simply can’t top Kung Fu Zombie Cannibals….. okay, maybe if they had lightsabers

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Posted: 20th, December 2013 | In: Film, Flashback | Comment (1)


The Bad Brains Charlie Brown Christmas Mash Up

IT’S A Bad Brains Christmas, Charlie Brown.

The song is Pay to Cum.

Posted: 20th, December 2013 | In: Music | Comment


DiCaprio Annoys PETA Who Want Jar Jar Binks Rather Than Animal Actors

 

dicaprio monkey

IN his new film, Leonardo DiCaprio does something really, really awful – persists in having that Nearly Beard. However, it isn’t Leo’s goatee that has caused a kerfuffle, rather, PETA are going after him and calling for the actor to stop working with animal actors.

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Posted: 20th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Heather Mills Attacks Olympic Official, Allegedly

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REMEMBER Heather Mills? She was a model who no-one was that fussed about, then she had a terrible accident and everyone rightly gave her props for not letting her missing leg defeat her. Then she married Paul McCartney, which everyone was surprised by. Then she started being a git and everyone hated her, feeling guilty for resorting to peg-leg jokes.

Many people disliked her because she married a Beatle.

Then, Macca and Mucca split and she shot her mouth off and no-one felt bad about making jokes about her. Then, she annoyed everyone by being a paralympian! What a woman! She really is a shining example of how to overcome life’s hurdles. She could do no wro…

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Posted: 19th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)