Celebrities Category

Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.

BBC Wusses Out Of Top Of The Pops Anniversary Special Because of Jimmy Savile

THIS year would mark the 50th anniversary of Top Of The Pops. The show was, until relatively recently, a cornerstone of British television. A mixture of people’s interest shifting to the internet, and the BBC’s complete failure to stay in touch with youth culture and an over-reliance on the Glastonbury coverage saw TOTP falling by the wayside.

savile 50

And then there’s the ongoing Jimmy Savile child abuse scandal.

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Posted: 2nd, January 2014 | In: Music, Reviews, TV & Radio | Comment

Awkward Band Publicity Photos

awkward band photo 1

TO MAKE IT in the music biz and get some publicity, it used to be a requirement to take some “professional” photographs for local newspapers, magazines, and venue posters.    Trouble is, thirty to forty years later someone like me is going to share them with the world.  Chances are, your press photos are a tad on the awkward side, and I’ll have a snarky comment or two.  Shake it off.  It’s all in good fun. Maybe you can even point and laugh at the other bands.

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Posted: 2nd, January 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment

DJ Derek Sweet Memory Sounds: A Tribute To The UK’s Original White Reggae Star

DJ derek

DJ Derek is Derek Serpell-Morris. He’s 72. Last night the Bristolian played his last ever show at London’s Notting Hill Arts Club. Derek is the Cadbury accountant who became a much-loved dance hall DJ.

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Posted: 1st, January 2014 | In: Key Posts, Music | Comment

The Steve Buscemi Christmas Jesus Candle

ETSY seller DMAGIC has created this wondrous Steve Buscemi Christmas Candle:

candles by etsy


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Posted: 31st, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment

When Muhammad Ali Met Michael Jackson And Became The ‘Jackson Six’

WHEN Muhammad Ali and Michael Jackson in 1977:

Mohammed Ali and Michael Jackson


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Posted: 31st, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Sports | Comment

Eddie Izzard Was Born in London, Capital Of Yemen


CAN we trust Eddie Izzard to be Mayor of London?

He tells the Guardian‘s Decca Aitkenhead on December 14, 2013:

 “Look, it doesn’t really matter,” he says curtly. “I do universal humour.” Eventually, he says, he will learn Arabic, too. “I was born in Yemen, so it’s my duty to do this when Arab people are struggling so hard to try to get democracy going. I have to play Yemen. This is right that I should be doing this.”

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Posted: 30th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Extreme Dieting: Keith Moon Versus Hunter S Thompson

Keith Moon, the eccentric drummer of The Who, at Heathrow Airport with his girlfriend Annette Walker-Lax, on return from the United States. PA/PA Archive/Press Association Images

Keith Moon, the eccentric drummer of The Who, at Heathrow Airport with his girlfriend Annette Walker-Lax, on return from the United States. 

THE late Keith Moon was once asked whether he thought he was the greatest drummer in the world, he replied: “I’m the greatest Keith Moon-style drummer in the world”, and no one can argue with that. However Moon is just as famous, even today, for packing in far more than his fair share of convivial nights during his short eventful life. He died in September 1978 just two weeks after his 32nd birthday when he fell unconscious, never to wake up, in the Mayfair flat of his close-friend Harry Nilsson. Coincidentally, it was the very same bed where Mama Cass Elliot had died four years earlier.

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Posted: 27th, December 2013 | In: Books, Celebrities, Key Posts, Music | Comments (2)

Are You Ready For Candy Crush, The Movie?

WE’VE entered a strange time for films. Films everyone can remember first time round are being remade, Ryan Reynolds is still getting work and, weirdest of all, films are being made based on toys.

Now, of course, action figures and the like have ended up on the silver screen, but the Rihanna-starring ‘Battleship’, based on a coordinates board game, flummoxed everyone. What next? Well, to save us all from a ‘what’s next – [insert ludicrous ‘Monkey Tennis’ idea here] joke’, we’ll cut to the chase.

Candy Crush, that’s what.

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Posted: 27th, December 2013 | In: Film, Technology, The Consumer | Comment

In 2013 British Parents Named Their Children Ream, Lohan, Puppy And Tea


DID the parents of three children named Ream pick the moniker in honour of The Only Way Is Essex’s Joey Essex, who uses the word to men “good” or “well good”?

One reason we like Essex is that his name fits his job. He lives and works in Essex. He is called Essex. It’s hard to think that Joey Dorset would have faired to well. And Joey Kent would have been viewed as an interloper.

The Sun says Essex has inspired: “A Ream come true for fans of Towie – Babies named after Joey’s catchphrase.”

Dippy TV star Joey, 23, usually spells it “Reem” and together with “Creepysick” uses it to describe something as “amazing”.

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Posted: 27th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Strange But True | Comment (1)

#TearsForPiers: Piers Morgan V Brett Lee

ON Australia’s  The Cricket Show. Piers Morgan faced Brett Lee. There was nowhere to hide:

Posted: 27th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Sports | Comment

The Celebrity Party Tricks Hall of Fame

IN Huddersfield in 1977, the Sex Pistols held a Christmas party for the children of striking firefighters.



A documentary about this party and the extraordinary times in which it occurred, when the band were hounded from pillar to post and banned in most towns, will be shown on BBC 4 at 10pm on Boxing Day (and subsequently on the iPlayer).

By rock’n’roll standards the party was tame, but Johnny Rotten’s antics – including diving face first into the cake – deserve a modest place in the Celebrity Party Tricks Hall of Fame.

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Posted: 27th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment

PETA – The Charity For People Who Fantasise About Humans Burning


A PETA press release received actually says this:

“In 2009, Morrissey made international headlines when he walked off stage at a US music festival, stating that he hoped the ‘burning flesh’ he smelled was human… So it was only fitting that he was named PETA’s Person of the Year in 2011.”

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Posted: 25th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The Tao of David Coleman

The Tao of David Coleman


He was born at Alderley Edge, the place now famous as the luxury location of choice for the gated homes of multi-millionaire footballers. But Coleman is a man synonymous with the blurred black-and-white ‘soccer’ of a more simple, if not innocent era.

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Posted: 25th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Key Posts, Sports, TV & Radio | Comment

Celebrity Angle of the Year: What Does The Fonz Think Of The Heathrow Expansion?

HAVING trouble working out which airport plan for London is best? Well, worry no more. The Fonz is here to help make sense of it all. Hey-throw:


Posted: 25th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment

How To Cook Nigella’s Goose: The Grillo Sisters’ Recipe For Revenge (Cold Cuts)



WANT to know about the “REAL” Nigella Lawson? The Grillo sisters are here to stick the knife into Nigella’s voluptuous moist goose.*

RYAN PARRY, EMMA FOSTER and JAMES BEAL (three journalists in capital letters) tells us that “DOMESTIC Goddess Nigella Lawson took a string of shortcuts at Christmas — despite her image as the perfect festive hostess.”

The Grillo sisters – and what about that name for an Italian lean, mean grilling machine, readers? –  are “ex-servants Francesca Grillo and sister Elisabetta”.

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Posted: 24th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)

Nigella Lawson Trial: How Courtroom Artists Show Her Inner And Outer Turmoil



NIGELLA Lawson v her now former personal assistants Francesca and Elisabetta Grillo was pretty entertaining for anyone not directly involved in the matter. Nigella did enjoy being pulled apart in court with no right of reply; and the sisters look too stressed to morph their new-found fame into a stint in the celebrity jungle.

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Posted: 24th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Reviews | Comment

Glen Hanson Creates Shower Curtains For A Hollywood Entrance

NEW York’s Glen Hanson gives hope to your tired, mildewed bathroom. We’re talking sho0wer curtains: those dank, cold-to-the-touch, unusually stained nylon bath drapes that harbour  several new strains of e-Coli and an axe murderer.  But mo more. Shower curtains are now portals to a dimension of star-speckled glamour and Divine’s trailer:


Grey Gardens

shower curtains 1



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Posted: 23rd, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, The Consumer | Comment

10 Wonderfully Insane VHS Action Movie Covers

HERE are some particularly interesting examples of VHS box art in the  action genre.  And by “interesting” I mean “utterly insane”.  These covers represent the perfect synergy of over-the-roof subject matter in the hands of unskilled mental patients.  The words “quality control” and “subtlety” simply weren’t a part of the vocabulary of VHS cover artists…. And that’s why we love them so.


Raw Force (1982) 


Aside from the three apostrophes that have no business being there, this VHS cover is about as good as it gets.  You simply can’t top Kung Fu Zombie Cannibals….. okay, maybe if they had lightsabers

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Posted: 20th, December 2013 | In: Film, Flashback | Comment (1)

The Bad Brains Charlie Brown Christmas Mash Up

IT’S A Bad Brains Christmas, Charlie Brown.

The song is Pay to Cum.

Posted: 20th, December 2013 | In: Music | Comment

DiCaprio Annoys PETA Who Want Jar Jar Binks Rather Than Animal Actors


dicaprio monkey

IN his new film, Leonardo DiCaprio does something really, really awful – persists in having that Nearly Beard. However, it isn’t Leo’s goatee that has caused a kerfuffle, rather, PETA are going after him and calling for the actor to stop working with animal actors.

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Posted: 20th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Heather Mills Attacks Olympic Official, Allegedly


REMEMBER Heather Mills? She was a model who no-one was that fussed about, then she had a terrible accident and everyone rightly gave her props for not letting her missing leg defeat her. Then she married Paul McCartney, which everyone was surprised by. Then she started being a git and everyone hated her, feeling guilty for resorting to peg-leg jokes.

Many people disliked her because she married a Beatle.

Then, Macca and Mucca split and she shot her mouth off and no-one felt bad about making jokes about her. Then, she annoyed everyone by being a paralympian! What a woman! She really is a shining example of how to overcome life’s hurdles. She could do no wro…

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Posted: 19th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)

21 Facebook Status Updates Made Into Inspirational Quotes

WHAT makes a memorable, quotable quote, the kind of thing you slap in an essay at school to earn a tick, or include in an article to illustrate a point, your theories backed up by a person of note’s wit and wisdom? Like you, we have no idea. But Phil Lucas has nailed it. It could be anything. He’s taken Facebook status updates and attributed them to famous faces. No longer trite, the words are injected with meaning and depth. Well, maybe:


Karl Marx

karl marx



Mikhail Gorbachev

Mikhail Gorbachev



Charles Dickens

Charles Dickens



John Lennon

john lennon



Lord Nelson




Albert Einstein

albert einstein



Nelson Mandela

nelson mandela



Dalai Lama

dalai lama



Winston Churchill

Winston Chburchill



Mother Teresa

mother teresa



Fidel Castro

Fidel Castro



Florence Nightingale

Florence Nightingale



George Washington

George Washington



Tony Benn

Tony Benn



Emily Pankhurst

Emily Pankhurst



Marie Curie

marie curie



Terry Waite

terry waite



Mahatma Gandhi




Martin Luther King




Malcolm X

malcolm x



Jim Morrison


Posted: 19th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Politicians, Technology | Comment (1)

Miley Cyrus’s Foam Finger Absorbs Whatver You Toss At It



AT Z100’s Jingle Ball 2013 – New York, singer Miley Cyrus was dry humped by Santa Claus. A few days later and Miley was once more grinding Santa’s sack at the Hot 99.5 Jingle Ball at Washington DC’s Verizon Center.

And that’s fine. Dolly Parton, who is in real life Cyrus’s godmother and TV grandma, says the singer is in “complete control”. She assures us: “The girl can write, the girl can sing, the girl is smart. But no one would let her grow up, so she thought ‘drastic times call for desperate measures’.”

Previously this year, Cyrus has frotted a giant foam finger, a happening that created the epic Daily Mail headline: “‘She degraded an icon!’ Foam finger inventor Steve Chmelar’s anger as Miley Cyrus ‘misrepresents’ his creation.”

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Posted: 18th, December 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment