Anorak

Tabloids | Anorak - Part 30

Tabloids Category

The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.

New York Posts blames NRA And America for Orlando Massacre

NYDN Front Page mateen NRA

Who to blame for Islamist Omar Mateen walking into a Florida gay nightclub and murdered 49 people? The New York Post knows: the NRA.

“His killing machine of choice was a mass murderer’s best friend — and his enabler a gun lobby that has long opposed efforts to keep assault weapons out of the hands of bloodthirsty maniacs.”

Blame The Second Amendment. Blame America.

Posted: 13th, June 2016 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Mahrez doesn’t mention Arsenal

Transfer balls: The Daily Express says Leicester City winger Riyad Mahrez, 25, fancies a move to Arsenal.

Is that right? Is Mahrez that crass as to court a rival team, one that finished below Leicester in last season? No. The Express says Mahrez “has refused to rule out a move away from Leicester”.

We have heard that Arsenal have bid £25million bid for Mahrez. So…

The Express’s story is based on a story in Get French Football, which quotes the player thus:

“It is flattering to hear [about links to other clubs], as I said nothing is agreed, nothing is done. We will see. For the moment I have not made a decision. We will see. It is possible that I stay, it is possible that I leave. We will see.”

In other words, Mahrez ‘has refused to rule out leavingLeicester’. He makes no direct mention of Arsenal. But nonetheless the Mirror hears Mahrez and yells:

Arsenal transfer news and rumours: Riyad Mahrez ‘flattered’ by interest from Gunners

And the Standard says:

Riyad Mahrez to Arsenal: Leicester City star flattered to be linked with the Gunners

What no tabloid find room for is what else Mahrez said at the Nike promotional event:

“The season went very well. As you know, we have won the league which was very important. It is incredible. It was by far my best season in my career… I am not putting pressure on myself (for next season). It will be a season about confirming (my ability). Without pressure, I will have to work hard… Leicester is a family club. I would like to stay. I am very happy.”

Such are the facts.

Posted: 13th, June 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Game of Thrones: prostitute Saeeda Vorajee plays prostitute Armeca

sahara knite armeca game of thronesSaeeda Vorajee plays a prostitute in Game of Thrones. She is also known as Sahara Knite, claims the Sun. The Mail is excited:

An actress who played a prostitute in Game of Thrones is actually a real-life hooker.. Saeeda Vorajee, 41, starred in the first two series of the hit show as a prostitute called Armeca where she took part in a controversial lesbian sex scene and acted alongside Jerome Flynn.

The Sun does her marketing:

The Sun on Sunday’s reporter was invited to Saeeda’s home in Strood, Kent. She led him to a dimly-lit room where she offered a massage and sex act for £65 or full sex for £900.

The Sun adds: “The Muslim, who has been disowned by her family, advertises herself as a “porn star, masseuse, mistress and session wrestler”.

The reporter’s religion is not stated.

What it all adds up to we can’t be certain. Saeeda wasn’t recruited for her acting abilities alone. She looks great and is versed in seduction and sexual excitement. She is also cheaper than hiring an actor, leaving more of the show’s budget to be spunked on CGI monsters and inventing novel new ways to murder people.

 

Posted: 13th, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio | Comment


Transfer balls: Manchester United chase Bale with reasons

Transfer balls: The Daily Star says Gareth Bale will join Manchester United this summer. Bale, will – get this – leave Real Madrid, where he’s won two Champions’ Laegue medals and seen his star rise, to play for United in the Europa League.

United will pay Real £94.6m for Bale who is – get this II – “keen to return to England”. Colin Harvey adds, Bale will be “United boss Jose Mourinho’s marquee signing this summer”. A marquee is a large tent. Bale to United is a fantasy.

The Star’s scoop is a rehash of a report in Spain’s El Confidencial. Over there we learn from Kike Marin (via Google translate):

Gareth Bale is back in the crosshairs of Manchester United , but this time in the offices of Old Trafford are convinced that his move is feasible…. the Welshman is eager to return to the Premier League…

It is known that Florentino Perez feels predilection for the Welshman, who has always seen as the heir to Cristiano Ronaldo, although Bale asks him to return home, neither will be easy for the president to keep him…

Is Marin right? His report contains no word from anyone. His track record is a little mixed. And then there is the Star:

 

Bale Manchester United

 

Oh, and this is what Bale said on May 26th:

“I feel much more comfortable this year, it’s true. You can notice that on the pitch. I feel more integrated, I have more personal relationships with my team-mates and that always gives you more happiness and that reflects on my game. I’m enjoying myself a lot in Madrid and I hope this continues for many years.”

He’s chomping at the bit.

 

Posted: 11th, June 2016 | In: Back pages, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Manchester United’s David De Gea and the sex crime he didn’t commit

de gea sexA Manchester United “ace” is embroiled in a “vice probe”. The player is David De Gea, the Man United goalkeeper. The Sun says he “faces calls to be left out of Spain’s squad for Euro 2016”. The Times talks of “Spanish turmoil”. The Star cranks it up and leads with news that De Gea is “linked to child porn probe”.

But Spain’s manager says De Gea is going nowhere. What turmoil? What calls? As the Guardian notes:

“I think De Gea has given all the explanations he had to give and he has made it clear that he has nothing to do with this issue,” said the Spain coach Del Bosque. “He said that to the whole squad too. We all met up and the lad, calmly and sincerely, has explained that he has nothing to do with this issue. The squad is here to support him at all times and to give him the affection he needs at these times. Everything is normal and we’ll carry on.”

De Gea is not going home. Spain are calm.

So why is “Spain’s main man between the sticks” in the news ?

In “‘IT IS ALL A LIE’ Man Utd star David De Gea denies organising underage sex parties for footie pals”, the Sun delivers the facts.  “De Gea has been named by a protected witness in court documents which claim he contracted a prostitute against her will.”

He says it’s all nonsense.  “It is all a lie,” the Sun quotes him as saying. “I feel even stronger about staying with the national team… it is all false and it is in my lawyers hands. I never thought about leaving. It gives me more strength to train even harder.” The Sun adds:

Spanish website El Diario reports the stunning allegations were part of evidence given to prosecutors in a high profile case that saw porn baron Torbe, real name Ignacio Allende Fernandez arrested. The pot-bellied director was remanded in custody in April after being accused of running a prostitution ring and using under-age girls for his shoots.

You can read more on El Diario. Or you can read parts on the BBC:

Torbe was remanded in custody in April charged with offences including sex attacks, sexual exploitation and child pornography. The protected witness, who claims she was forced into the prostitution ring, said she was taken to a Madrid hotel and introduced to another girl and two footballers.

Once in a room with the other girl, the witness – known in police interview papers as TP3 – said that she was told by Torbe that she had to comply with the sexual demands of the two Under-21 internationals. When she said she did not wish to take part, she claimed to police that Torbe “grabbed her forcefully by the arm”.

The Times says Ignacio Allende Fernández is also being questioned into alleged money laundering and extortion. We get a few more facts:

According to newspaper reports, a witness has come forward to police — who is known only as TP3 — and claimed that she and another woman were taken to a Madrid hotel and forced against their will to take part in sex acts with Iker Muniain, the Athletic Bilbao striker, and another player, who has not been identified, and were victims of both “physical and sexual abuse” at their hands. She claimed the meeting had been arranged by De Gea and Fernández. The 25-year-old former Atletico Madrid goalkeeper was not alleged to have taken part.

Muniain denies any wrongdoing. The other alleged player is unidentified.

Neither De Gea nor Muniain has been accused of any offence or called to give evidence by police or the judge investigating the case, but the police unit conducting the investigation — codenamed “Universal” — say she shows “a high degree of credibility,” it is claimed. They have ruled out the possibility that she is trying to discredit the people concerned for “economic or personal interests”. She has alleged that neither woman was paid for the encounter, although Fernández was.

It’s all a very nasty business.  De Gea is accused of having committed no crime. It cannot be good for his morale and focus to be linked to such vile alleged crimes, but to say the entire Spanish team is in turmoil as a result of the case is baseless.

 

Posted: 11th, June 2016 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


The Sun balls: Alen Halilovic is a ‘rising star’ in his living room

The Sun asked its football experts to pick their stars and winners for Euro 2016. Martin Blackburn was on it. For his “new star” he picked Alen Halilovic (Croatia). That’s the Croatian whose on Barcelona’s books, but spent last season on loan at Sporting de Gijón.

 

Alen Halilovic

 

It’s the same Halilovic who appears in the Reuters story: “Ivan Rakitic shocked by Alen Halilovic’s omission from Euro 2016 squad as Croatia prepare for opening clash with Turkey.”

Yeah, the Sun’s new star isn’t at the tournament.

 

Posted: 10th, June 2016 | In: Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Tabloid balls: brave England players laugh at ISIS as wimpy Germans cower

daily star england germansThe Daily Star’s scoop on “brave “England footballers at Euro 2016 and German “wimps” is total balls. First we hear from Manchester United and England’s Chris Smalling:

“We have a fantastic security team and we have been informed of all the French security as well. So from our point of view we have nothing to worry about. We are able to focus on what we are here for – and that’s the football.”

And the German “Wimps”?

But nervous German star Jerome Boateng has ordered his wife and children to stay at home during the championships because of terror fears. Bayern Munich defender Boateng, 27, was playing for Germany at the Stade de France the night three suicide bombers blew themselves up outside. He said: “My family and children will not be coming to the stadium. The risk is simply too big.”

What a wimp, eh.

Having shamed Germans for one man’s entirely sane decision not to invite his loved ones to watch the football in a country where last time he was in town Islamists murdered scores of people, the Star tells its readers one day later:

Ex-SAS gunners guard Roy’s Boys from ISIS

ENGLAND’S stars have been assured a crack squad of ex-SAS troops is standing by to whisk them to safety if terrorists strike at Euro 2016.

Brave. That’s the only word for it.

Posted: 10th, June 2016 | In: Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Out to lunch: fire at Dusseldorf refugee camp overcooks small portions

In Dusseldorf, Germany, a refugee camp has burned to the ground. Why?

Daily Star: “FASTING FURIOUS – A refugee camps was burned down by hungry migrants after they missed their Ramadan breakfast. They claimed nobody work them  in time to eat before  beginning their Islamic dawn-to-dusk fast.”

The camp is “home to 280 refugees”

BBC: “Ramadan meal row ‘prompted German fire’ at Duesseldorf shelter”

German investigators “say a group of men who were not fasting had complained that their lunch portions were too small.”

Such are the facts.

Posted: 10th, June 2016 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment


Manchester United ‘favourites’ to land £78 Pogba who wants Real Madrid

As the summer arrives so too does the newspapers’ obsession with Paul Pogba, the former Manchester United player now starring for Juventus and France.

The Daily Mirror says Manchester United “must” pay £78m if they want Pogba back at Old Trafford. The Mirror says news United manager Jose Mourinho wanted Pogba when he was at Chelsea last season. But Chelsea and Manchester City baulked at the £71m asking price.

The Sun spots the Premier League’s “scramble” for Pogba. The clubs need not bother. The Sun says Pogba’s “dream is to play in La Liga for Real Madrid or Barcelona”.  The Juventus player is “waiting on Spain’s big two before making any decisions”.

Not so says the Manchester Evening News’s Rob Pollard: “Real Madrid, Barcelona, Manchester City and Chelsea have all been linked with him in the last 18 months – but it seems the path has cleared somewhat and United are now clear favourites to land him.”

 

manchester evening news pogba

Manchester Evening News 

 

So United will pay £78m? No, says the Express : “JOSE MOURINHO will offer Matteo Darmian as part of a deal to try and land Paul Pogba.” The deal is Darmian plus £60m cash.  So says the Express, which has also told its readers that Pogba has agreed to join PSG and Barcelona.

 

Pogba Barcelona Man United

 

Such are the facts.

 

Posted: 10th, June 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Benteke ‘warns’ and ‘threatens’ Liverpool as Klopp reaches for the bullet

Transfer balls: The Sun says Liverpool’s striker Christian Benteke has “warned” Jurgen Klopp: “Pick me regularly or I’m off.” Benteke has issued a “Kop Threat”.

Klopp must be fretting. Will Benteke, who scored ten goals in 42 games, leave the club unless he gets more chances to score? The Belgian striker started eight league games after German Klopp was appointed Liverpool manager in October 2015,

Will Klopp take kindly to being threatened?

What Benteke said was far from threatening:

“I still have a contract at Liverpool and I’d like to stay there, if I remain in the coach’s plans. If that’s not the case, it will become difficult to stay… When Klopp arrived I saw that I wasn’t in his plans. That was frustrating because I knew that during my first season at Aston Villa he wanted me. But we had several discussions together – I respect and I understand his decisions. I’ll think about if after the Euros.”

Not exactly a warning, then. More resignation that if Klopp doesn’t rate him, he’ll be on his way.

And the Sun has been trailing Benteke’s departure for months.

Jurgen Klopp’s Kop clear-out: Liverpool boss ready to ring the changes at Anfield this summer. German boss wants to overhaul the squad at the end of the season. The main casualty will be Christian Benteke after the £32.5million summer capture from Aston Villa – The Sun, Feb, 2016

Liverpool transfer news: Reds flop Christian Benteke set to be offered lifeline by Italian giants Juventus – The Sun, March 2016

Dean Sturridge reckons Christian Benteke will not be a Liverpool player next season. Uncle of Reds striker, Daniel, claims Belgian is not part of Jurgen Klopp’s plans – The Sun, May 2016

He’s been warned.

Posted: 9th, June 2016 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, Sports, Tabloids | Comments (2)


Daily Mail v Mail Online: Vernon Kay’s vanishing smile

Married Vernon Kay and Tess Daly put on a “show of strength”. The telly twosome “put on a united front as they stepped out for the first time since his latest sexting scandal”. So says the Daily Star.

Kay, the world’s blandest TV presenter, is allegedly “back in contact”, although not literally, with Page 3 stunna Rhian Sugden. There are no allegations the pair have ever met, let alone shagged. Vernon and Rhian’s alleged relationship is all about texting. Whereas we used to get tales of five-time-a-night romps with love rats, tabloid readers now get to read text messages.

Anyhow, This is all news because Kay and Daly were on a night out at Jimmy Carr’s London home. The Sun also spotted Vernon and Tess. They were walking “hand in hand” as they left’s Carr’s house party. They were “all smiles”.

 

vernon kay sex

 

But over in the Mail, the same story is headlined, “The awkward party.” Victoria Ibitoye says, “Daly was not the only one who looked like she would rather be elsewhere”. Daly “looked far from pleased clutching the hand of Vernon Kay”.

 

Tess DAly Rhian

 

But over on the Mail Online, readers enjoy pictures of Daly and Kay over the caption “Going strong: Tess Daly and husband Vernon Kay looked very much a united couple as they held hands while leaving their friend Jimmy Carr’s house party in London on Monday night” and “Smiling: The pair looked extremely happy as they stayed close to one another.”

Was the Mail at two different parties?

Posted: 8th, June 2016 | In: Celebrities, Reviews, Tabloids | Comment


Chelsea: Dr Carneiro is ‘disgruntled’ but Mourinho is just ‘Jose’

Dr Eva Carneiro turned to the courts when Chelsea failed to take a stand against her co-worker Jose Mourinho, who publicly humiliated her. Having rejected the club’s offer of £1.2 million to shut up and go away, Dr Carneiro continued to sue for justice.

Yesterday she settled her dismissal claim against Chelsea on confidential terms. She had claimed constructive dismissal against Chelsea. In addition she reached a discrimination settlement against Jose Mourinho.

Chelsea said it apologised “unreservedly”for its treatment of its former first-team doctor.

“The club regrets the circumstances which led to Dr Carneiro leaving the club and apologises unreservedly to her and her family for the distress caused. We wish to place on record that in running onto the pitch Dr Carneiro was following both the rules of the game and fulfilling her responsibility to the players as a doctor, putting their safety first.”

Mourinho, who denied calling the medic “daughter of a whore” (she alleged that he did) never issued a public apology. The Chelsea statement merely noted:

“Jose Mourinho also thanked Dr Carneiro for the excellent and dedicated support she provided as first team doctor and he wishes her a successful career.”

But why should Jose says sorry? The Manchester United manager (£15m a year) remains good ol’ Jose in the Mail, whereas the victim is a moody woman who got lucky:

 

dr carneiro sexist

 

Revolting.

Posted: 8th, June 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Jamie Vardy Watch: ‘Snubs’ Arsenal, ‘stuns Wenger’, says nothing

vardy snubs arsenal

 

“VARDY SNUBS GUNNERS,” declares the Daily Star. Can it be that Jamie Vardy has gone back on his verbal agreement to join Arsenal?  Jeremy Cross says he will: “Jamie Vardy will snub a £20m move to Arsenal.”

How Cross knows this is unsaid. Readers are just expected to take it as fact. But Vardy has said nothing in public. He has not signed for Arsenal, which means he remains a Leicester City player.

The Sun says “Vardy is a stop Gun”. Charlie Wyett says Vardy will decide on his future after Euro 2016. We’re told that Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger was “stunned when Vardy did not  immediately jump at the move”. Well, if Wenget gets his news in the Sun he must be surprised with Vardy’s circumspection. The Sun told everyone Vardy had his Arsenal medical last weekend and would agree to join Arsenal before the England team flew to France. They flew. Vardy said nothing.

In the Mirror, Vardy has “delayed” his decision to stay or leave Leicester. Vardy wants to “focus on England”. John Cross says Arenal must decide whether to wait for Vardy or go for another striker. Why wold they? The Mirror said Vardy’s agent approached Arsenal. But the Express agrees, writing that Arsenal will look at “alternative targets”. The paper says the Gunners are in a “sweat”. Why would they be? They made an offer. If the offer is not enough they will either offer an improved offer of look elsewhere.

Vardy will either earn more cash at Leiecester with an improved deal, or more cash at Arsenal with a big signing-on fee.

There are problems – and then there are Premier League problems.

Posted: 8th, June 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Arsenal and the mysterious £25m Mahrez bid

Are Arsenal “close” to signing Leicester City star Rihad Mahrez? Yesterday, the Sun had an “exclusive“. It said Arsenal were in for the Premier League’s top player last season. Sadly, the scoop contained not a single fact. In fact, it got the one fact in the story wrong: Vardy has not had an Arsenal medical:

England striker Vardy reportedly having medical today and Premier League-winning Leicester team-mate could join him

Daniel Cutts added:

The Gunners have been shocked that Mahrez’s release clause is so low…

If the Gunners have seen the clause, you might wonder who showed it to them and why?

A few hours later, the Mirror told its readers that Arsenal and Mahrez is a non-starter: “Arsenal are NOT interested in Riyad Mahrez.” John Cross stated, “he will not be moving to the Emirates.”

But the Indy had heard different. “Arsenal transfer news: Gunners in talks to secure Riyad Mahrez transfer in Leicester City double-swoop,” stated Jack de Menezes.  “Arsenal have activated Jamie Vardy’s release clause but are also being linked with his Leicester team-mate Mahrez.”

In talks or linked? Jack merely says he read it in, the, Sun.

As did the Metro’s man in the know, Sean Kearns, who said: “Arsenal clear to sign Riyad Mahrez as Leicester City winger decides to leave the Foxes.” Are Arsenal “clear to sign” the top player because no other club are after him?

It was way back in April that the Mail told us: “Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger rules out move for Leicester City star Riyad Mahrez.”

But today’s Express states: “Arsenal submit £25m Riyad Mahrez bid.” This it know because one Tancredi Palmeri tweeted: ” @tancredipalmeri Arsenal, before bidding for Mahrez, had several meeting with the player’s entourage and the player is open for moving.”

He also tweeted this:

 

Screen Shot 2016-06-07 at 21.07.14

 

There has been no confirmation of Ibrahimovich to Manchester United.

Posted: 7th, June 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Jamie Vardy agrees Arsenal move then waits for wounds to heal

Leicester City v Manchester United - Premier LeagueJamie Vardy is in “transfer turmoil,” says the Sun. The paper, which stated Vardy would join Arsenal yesterday, says the Leicester City and England striker is torn between remaining with the Foxes and joining the Gunners.

A “source” says Vardy “does not know” if he will join the Gunners for £120,000-a-week and any bonus form a £20m transfer fee. The paper says Vardy is “prepared” to wait until after the Euros in France to make his decision”.

In the Mail, the advice is “SORT IT VARDY – England manager Roy Hodgson wants decision on star’s Arsenal switch”.

But the Mail notes that the decision has been made, stating that Vardy has “verbally agreed a three-year deal with an option of a further 12 months“. Add to this the Mirror’s claim that Vardy’s agent instigated the Arsenal move and you have player not exactly “in turmoil” and “tormented”, as the Mail’s mind-reading expert Matt Lawton says he is.

Is is really such agony to be deciding between playing for Leicester, the Premier League champions where you are adored, or moving to one of Europe’s biggest clubs for an extra £4o,000 a week? Come on. Vardy must love it. If Vardy has given his word that he will join the Gunners, this waiting for an official announcement looks like a PR job.

Is Vardy the right man for Arsenal?

Ian Wright tells Sun readers “James ticks all the boxes for Arsenal”, save for the bit of the form which says “sign here”. Wright reminds readers he joined Arsenal at 28. Vardy is 29. Wright was magnificent at the Gunners. He says Vardy will be a hit at Arsenal because he’s “clever” and can change his game.

Dave Kidd tells Mirror readers “Vardy to Arsenal makes no sense”. Kidd says it is the “most un-Arsenal transfer move  imaginable, making neither footballing no economic sense.” Vardy is the Football Writers’ player of the year. He is a proven winner. At 29 he is the same age Robin Van Persie was when he joined Manchester Untied and made them title winners. The Arsenal fans will love his work rate and desire to win. But Kidd says Vardy doesn’t score goals the Arsenal way (after lots and lots of passing). He says Vardy will be on the bench as Arsenal’s Plan B.

Stop Press: The Guardian says “Jamie Vardy set to make Arsenal decision after European Championship.”  Or as the Leicester Mercury puts it: “Leicester City transfer news: Vardy decision to come in next few days.” They don’t have the foggiest.

Posted: 7th, June 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Mourinho v Carneiro: Chelsea ‘whores’ and Chelsea ‘girls’

Former Chelsea team doctor Eva Carneiro is at an employment tribunal. Did former Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho call her “daughter of a whore” who was only suited to working with the juniors or the “ladys [sic]”? Mourinho, now at Manchester United, might not care about the ruling. After all, the case hasn’t prevented him from joining Manchester United.

The Times says Carneiro rejected an offer for £1.2m to settle out of court. She claims constructive dismissal against Chelsea. She also claims, in another case, that Mourinho targeted her for sexual discrimination.

You will recall, of course, how this nasty row started last August, when Mourinho, the then Chelsea boss, hurled abuse at Carneiro as she raced onto the pitch to treat Chelsea player Eden Hazard. Mourinho says he yelled “filho da puta” (son of a bitch). She says he yelled “filha da puta” (daughter of a bitch or daughter of a whore).

What Mourinho did say, after Carneiro was banished from the bench, was, “She works in academy team  or lady [sic] team not with me.”

Such are the facts.

And what of the reporting on alleged sexism in football? Well, the Star pretty much carries on regardless. An educated women in her early middle-age is a “girl doc”:

 

DR Eva Carneiro sexism

 

 

Posted: 7th, June 2016 | In: Chelsea, Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Daily Mail: Charlemagne toured the Castello di Sammezzano in Tuscany 80 years after his death

Castello di Sammezzano

 

Travel news in the Daily Mail, with Georgia Diebelius. She introduces readers to a stunning Moorish castle built in 1605:

These are the haunting images of an Italian castle that still stands in pristine condition, despite being left abandoned for more than 20 years. The Castello di Sammezzano in Tuscany, Italy, was built in the early 17th century by Spanish nobles and was even visited by Emperor Charlemagne….

Would that be Charlemagne, aka Charles the Great (born late 740s – 28 January 814) or an imposter?

If only there was a resources, some kind of electronic database, for writers to look up facts on…

Posted: 7th, June 2016 | In: Tabloids, The Consumer | Comment


Arsenal transfer balls: desperate Wenger buys Leicester glory

Anyone want to play for Leicester City? As news of Jamie Vardy’s apparently imminent departure to Arsenal fills the news media, the Sun says the Gunners are also keen on Leicester’s Riyad Mahrez.

Vardy has taken his medical at Arsenal, and, one assumes, passed it. It’s not known what the Arsenal medical involves but given their annual injury crisis, it could amount to a man in a white jacket asking he player, “How’s things?” as he rubber stamps the health insurance certificates.

The Sun’s exclusive contains not a single source, quote nor fact to support it.

Over at ESPN, the news is that Mahrez is not an Arsenal priority. The headline states:

Arsenal prioritise Henrikh Mkhitaryan over Riyad Mahrez

Readers are told that “signing Borussia Dortmund’s Henrikh Mkhitaryan is Araenalk’s priority this summer”. Again, readers get no facts. 

Meanwhile, Anorak readers can recalls the Sun’s report from February 2016. The headline ran: “Arsene Wenger reveals he rejected chance to bring Riyad Mahrez to Arsenal because he thought Leicester sensation was too CHEAP.” Mahrez joined Leicester for £400,000.

“We live in a strange society. If I sign a player for £400,000 before he plays people will say, ‘What is that, that is not serious for Arsenal’. If you say we signed a player for £40million they will think he is really good.”

As Wenger treats fans as fools unable to know a good player when they see one, we remind him that Lionel Messi cost Barcelona nothing in transfer fees. And the Barcelona fans are largely happy with his efforts. Every player was cheaper at one point in their careers and looking for a big break. The difference now is that with Wenger towards the end of his career, he’s desperate to win the title and will pay to do so.

Posted: 6th, June 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comments (2)


Transfer Balls: Vardy keeps Arsenal and Leicester waiting for the inevitable

Transfer balls: Has Jamie Vardy told Arsenal he is joining them? The Sun said Vardy told the Gunners of his decision before 11:30am this morning, when he and the rest of the England squad jetted off to France for the Euros.

Why he needed to make his move before the flight left is moot point. surely in France there are mobile phones?

 

Jamie Vardy the sun arsenal

 

The Mail says Vardy never did make the call, declaring: “Jamie Vardy jets off to Euros while still thinking over £20m move to Arsenal as Leicester try to keep star striker.”

Is it all PR, making Vardy look torn? After all, the Mirror claims Vardy’s agent instigated talks with Arsenal. The Mail notes:

Vardy, travelling with England, is not believed to have put a time limit on when he will make a final call and any announcement may take longer than another 24 hours.

The Leicester Mercury adds:

Mercury sources have stated there is no decision imminent as the player has much to contemplate.

After all, the Mail did report:

Leicester hero Jamie Vardy commits future to Premier League champions as he looks forward to competing in Champions League

Surely he’s already made his mind up.  More money in his weekly wage packet plus a huge signing-on fee and life in London with Arsenal.

 

Posted: 6th, June 2016 | In: Back pages, Sports, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Kerching: Kelvin MacKenzie uses Sun column to promote aspokesmansaid.com

Writing in the Sun, Kelvin MacKenzie praises the readers who saved money on their household insurance with a website called aspokesmansaid.com.

 

kelvin mackenzie

 

MacKenzie goes into some detail on how the savings were made.

 

kelvin mackenzie aspokesmansaid.com

 

At no point in the story does Kelvin Mackenzie tell readers that the site was founded by one…Kelvin MacKenzie.

 

aspokesmansaid.com kelvin

kelvin mackenzie aspokesmansaid.com

 

For reasons of space, Kelvin is unable to mention other money-saving websites in this week’s column.

Such are the facts.

 

 

Posted: 6th, June 2016 | In: Key Posts, Money, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Euro 2016: England are well located for trips to dogging site

It’s Euro 2016 and the newspapers are full of fear. Today’s Fear Story is in the Sun, where we learn that the England’s team hotel is next to a dogging site. The Sun says people have had sex in the grounds near the five-star Auberge du Jeu de Paume in Chantilly.

The Sun has seen racy photos posted on a French dogging site. One shows a woman sat by a wall at the  Chateau de Chantilly. She is topless. “Art-loving England manager Roy Hodgson is expected to encourage his squad to visit the chateau which houses masterpieces by Raphael, Delacroix and Poussin.” Some are nudes, maybe.

Roy might care to rouse the troops on Wednesday and Fridays, when, as the Sun says, the doggers convene. The paper even produces a map of the area and adds a picture of former England player and now TalkSport commentator Stan Collymore asking, “What time is kick off?” In 2004, Collymore, reportedly, “confessed to having sex with strangers in car parks – an underground practice known as dogging.”

But dogging can occur in both underground and overground car parks. Dogs go free.

 

 

Posted: 6th, June 2016 | In: Reviews, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Arsenal tipped to beat Liverpool to Vardy before Euros

Arsenal have made a £22m bid for Leicester City’s Jamie Vardy. The Star says the Gunners have offered Vary £120,000 a week, a big hike in his current basic pay of £80,000-a-week.

The Times says West Ham United  have also made a move for Vardy. They are offering £100,000 and a step down from Champions’ League football with Leicester and Arsenal.  Liverpool , have told Vardy he can earn £140,000-a-week at Anfield – a sum Arsenal are willing to match or better.

The Express says Vardy is to join Arsenal in next 24 hours for £20m on a four-year deal. The Mail agrees, saying this is a “shock”. It is. Vardy is 29. Arsenal are not in the habit of investing big money is older players. But with Walcott fading and Welbeck injured, they need a sharp striker with pace.

But Arsenal fans should be war, ads the Times. Manchester City are eyeing Hector Bellerin and Jack Wilshere. Pep Guardiola, the new city manager, fancies the Arsenal players and wants to continue The Citizens habit of Gunners names.

The Times says Bellerin may see his future with Barcelona, for whom he played as a boy, and Wilshere is now down the Arsenal pecking order below – get this – Francis Coquelin. He isn’t. Wilshere is class player who given a long run of matches will surely earn a starting berth in the Arsenal first team.

 

 

 

Posted: 4th, June 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Broadsheets, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Manchester United offer £48m for £75m Pogba, who joined Chelsea for £69m

pogba manchester unitedTransfer balls: Manchester United want to invest £60m in Paul Pogba, the France and Juventus midfielder once on United’s books. The Sun says Jose Mourinho has “sanctioned the bid”.

The only things standing between United and Pogba are: Juventus trying to trigger a bidding war for their star player; Barcelona; United’s failure to appear in next season’s Champions’ League; Barcelona; any other big team with pots of cash; Manchester City; the fact that the bid is actually £48m plus bonuses, which values him less than Manchester City paid for Raheem Sterling; and did we mention Barcelona?

On the plus side, the Sun “understands” that Pogba likes Mourinho and his plan to make United “great again”.

Of course, we have read news of Pogba’s movements before in the Sun. There was the time he was joining Chelsea:

CHELSEA have agreed a stunning £69million deal to sign Juventus’ Paul Pogba. – August 2015 

PAUL POGBA is ready to snub Manchester City and extrend his deal with Juventus. The Frenchman is wanted by a host of top clubs but would come with a huge £75million-plus price tag. – March 2016

Paul Pogba ready to snub Manchester United, Real Madrid and Manchester City as he aims to cement his legacy at Juventus – May 2016

CHELSEA are in constant contact with Juventus star Paul Pogba over a possible £76million transfer – May 2016

Manchester United target Paul Pogba ‘buys house in Barcelona’ as Jose Mourinho looks set to miss out on Juventus star – June, 2016

Such are the facts.

Posted: 3rd, June 2016 | In: Back pages, Chelsea, Manchester City, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment


Transfer balls: Ilkay Gundogan agrees Manchester City move (Arsenal and Manchester United disagree)

Transfer balls: Manchester City and not Manchester United are “set to sign” Ilkay Gundogan, says the Times. New Man City manager Pepe Guardiola has learnt much from his time at Germany’s all-consuming Bayern Munich, where the club’s recruitment policy hinges on buying the best players from the Bundesliga’s second best team, Borussia Dortmund. (Bayern have just agreed to take on Dortmund captain Mats Hummels.)

Gundogan, 25, is expected to join Manchester City for £20m. Although the Star says the figure is £30m. And there is the Mirror, which says Ilkay Gundogan is “set for a Jurgen Klopp reunion” at Liverpool. Klopp, of course, was Gundogan’s manager at Dortmund.

Of course this is Transfer Balls, a look at dire reporting in the mainstream media. We spare a thought for the Express readers told that Gundogan has signed for Arsenal and Manchester United.

 

Gundogan agrees Arsenal

 

Gundogan agrees Man United

 

Over in the Star, however, Gundogan plays for Bayern Munich:

 

Gundogan Bayern agrees

 

Posted: 2nd, June 2016 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Manchester City, Sports, Tabloids | Comment (1)


Transfer balls: Chelsea and Man United in race to stop Arsenal getting Morata (again)

Transfer balls – a look at iffy reporting in the mainstream media. News is that Arsenal are still after Alvaro Morata.

The Mirror says “Arsenal and Chelsea could go head to head in the race to sign 23-year-old Juventus striker Alvaro Morata.” So only two clubs are in for the striker. It is a head-to-head race.

The Mirror adds:

Alvaro Morata has sparked an auction between Arsenal and Chelsea after admitting he believes the Premier League would be a “great destination.”

Or as the player wanted by PSG (source: The Mirror) and who has an agreement to re-sign for Real Madrid should they want him says:

 “Hopefully everything will be resolved before then, because it is uncomfortable to be helping your country with phone in hand. My wish is to succeed in Madrid… There are some offers from England that are tempting, not only because of the contract. I think my characteristics mean the Premier League would be a great destination.”

If Real don’t want him, then maybe he’ll look to the PL. It’s a head-to-head-to-head race – and one club has a massive head. As Spain’s AS put it:

Alvaro Morata wants a return to Real Madrid

In other news:

The Evening Standard and Manchester Evening News saysManchester United have added their head to the race – and United have a real bighead in charge:

 

Morata Manchester United

 

Morata Manchester United

 

 

And the Liverpool Echo say Liverpool want him:

 

Screen Shot 2016-06-01 at 16.02.48

 

Of course, Morata already plays for Arsenal. The Daily Star told us that:

 

Morata Arsenal

 

Such are the facts.

Posted: 1st, June 2016 | In: Arsenal, Back pages, Chelsea, manchester united, Sports, Tabloids | Comment