Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
MADELEINE McCann: as yet the celebrities have been low on the ground in the hunt for the missing child. Operation Yewtree is not involved. But, then, the Guardian spotted Madonna:
Spotter: Pies, via @ChrisPolick
PANICKY TV chef Gordon Ramsay has been showing his body on Twitter. He looks hairless on body, very hairy of head and buff. Do you trust a buff chef more than you do a fat one?
NEWS is that… Well, we’ll let the BBC tell you:
Entertainer Uri Geller has commissioned a sculpture of a gorilla made from 5,000 spoons.
OH, the irony. Miley Cyrus is talking with the Sunday Times about twerking at the VMAs:
If there’s one thing that bothered her about the fallout, it was the idea that her performance was racist, or a “minstrel show”, because, critics argued, she appropriated a dance style common in black culture and used black back-up dancers like props. “I don’t keep my producers or dancers around ’cause it makes me look cool,” she says. “Those aren’t my ‘accessories’. They’re my homies.”
TO write I Am Malala: The Girl who Stood up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban, Christina Lamb spent a year in Birmingham with Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani girl shot by the Taliban. A few extracts from it. One notable fact is that her mother, Tor Pekai, is illiterate.
I had travelled up from London by train with her agent. As I am quickly to discover, there is a circus of people around Malala, including a leading PR company, an investment-banker friend of the family, do-good celebrities such as Angelina Jolie, and even former prime minister Gordon Brown, who hired Malala’s dad as an adviser to his own role as global education envoy for the UN. Everyone wants a part of her.
POSSIBLY the best Samuel L. Jackson picture ever:
BANKSY, the muralist, has been decorating walls in New York City. The locals can’y get enough of him. For a few dollars they’ll let you see his artwork.
capnyc took a video:
BREAKING BAD is a show that divides everyone straight down the middle. You’ve got people who haven’t seen it and you’ve got people who love it, constantly tweet about it and make everyone else hate it even more. There is no middle ground.
On the Mental And I Love It side of things, one fan spent $9,900 on the underpants worn by Walter White from Breaking Bad. One can assume that Walter White had more than one pair of undercrackers, but there you go.
The show collaborated with Sony Pictures and Screenbid to hold a 10-day auction, where fans could bid for all manner of things.
I’M really not sure that this is all that appropriate you know. Is overpriced golden blong really the way to celebrate the best of black and urban music at the MOBO Awards?
Because that’s what they’re doing:
Still, HTC has just announced a new model that’ll put their scarcity to shame: an 18 carat gold HTC One priced at £2,750 (about $4,400). Only five copies will be made to commemorate the 18th anniversary of the MOBO awards, which honors black artists and urban music in the UK. It’s the “most exclusive and expensive smartphone every produced by HTC,” according to MOBO, and features a MOBO 18 logo laser etched on the back.
NOT a man known for attracting attention to himself, Julian Assange apparently refused to meet Benedict Cumberbatch while he was preparing to play the WikiLeaks founder for a film… and amusingly, it is a leaked email that has revealed this news.
In the letter, sent in January, Assange described Cumberbatch’s film, The Fifth Estate, as “toxic” and “distorted“, adding that the actor should “reconsider your involvement in this enterprise”.
TERRIBLE lines in film presents: the only memorable bit from Howling III:
CHRISTIAN Aerobics was not like other aerobics (notably Muslim aerobics, Jewish aerobics and the Sikh aerobic, which is, as we know, glorified rhythmic gymnastics).
WHAT’S the saddest thing you’ve seen? How about Coolio sat in a flat of Media Tech College, Preston, students and singing Gangster’s Paradise?
Singing the song when you’re young and lean is cool-io. See the lyrics:
Death ain’t nothing but a heartbeat away,
I’m living life, do or die, what can I say
I’m 23 now, but will I live to see 24
The way things are going I don’t know
ONE of the tiresome chores of life is maintaining the polish on one’s public profile. Don’t I know it, poppets! If anyone doubts this, check out Toby Young’s impressively anal attention to detail in his Wikipedia entry. Since January 2012 to the present (alone), he has made about 60 corrections, amendments and emendations.
Some are perfectly understandable. On 28 August 2013, for instance, he added an apostrophe to Earl’s Court. And on 27 April 2012, he deleted the word “stint” to avoid repetition. I like this. Editing is a much neglected art. Other edits suggest a dynamic growth in minor celebrity selfie-dom. On 2 August of this year he writes: “I deleted the ref to my father cos it implies I was the beneficiary of nepotism which I wasn’t. The admissions tutor later told me that Brasenose were legally obliged to honour the mistaken offer. Nowt to do with my dad.”
MORRISSEY may hate meat, but he doesn’t hate Peanuts. The professional pathos peddler has come out in support of Tumblr, ThisCharmingCharlie, saying that he’s “delighted and flattered” by reworkings of the Snoopy-starring comic strips that feature lyrics by his former band The Smiths.
In a statement released to fansite True To You, the singer swatted away claims that he had anything to do with record label attempts to take down the site.
“Morrissey would like to stress that he has not been consulted over any takedown request to remove the Tumblr blog named ‘This Charming Charlie’,” the message read.
“Morrissey is represented by Warner-Chappell Publishing, and not Universal Music Publishing, (who have allegedly demanded that the lyrics be removed). Morrissey is delighted and flattered by the Peanuts comic strip with its use of Morrissey-Smiths lyrics, and he hopes that the strips remain.”
The website has posted a letter sent to Tumblr from Lauren LoPrete’s legal representatives, outlining fair use to use the lyrics.
WHO taught you how to dance? Clearly, no-one.
The aim of most dancers is to get into the middle of a large group already at it and hope no-one notices them. Either that or do The Madness dance. We cannot all be Yorkshire TV dancing champions. So. Where disco dancing Dick Blake failed, James Brown can only help. He’s here to teach us The Funky Chicken, The Boogaloo and The Camel Walk.
The trick is… Well, there is no tick. You either can do it well or you can’t do it well. But anyone can have fun trying. If you have no natural ability you just need lots of space, socks, good knees and a lack of self-awareness bordering on the criminal. James, of course, makes it look easy and fun:
IS anyone still dancing Gangnam Style? Aren’t all the dancing dads now twerking at weddings and work Christmas parties? Slavoj Žižek is here to explain why you did the dance and now don’t at his University of Vermont talk on October 16th, 2012.
If you can’t watch it all, you can fast forward to Žižek’s Gangnam appraisal just after 35 minutes.
HAVING irked Sinead O’Connor, Disney angel gone bad girl Miley Cyrus has now gotten up Annie Lennox’s nose. She is upset that record companies are “peddling highly styled pornography with musical accompaniment” .
“You know the ones I’m talking about. Their assumption seems to be that misogyny utilised and displayed through oneself is totally fine, as long as you are the one creating it. As if it’s all justified by how many millions of dollars and Youtube hits you get from behaving like pimp and prostitute at the same time. It’s a glorified and monetised form of self harm.”
HALLOWEEN is coming. You want to host a party. This is the music you need to play.
Tam Lin: Fairport Convention
ARE some books unfilmable? Does reading the book first spoil the film and vice versa?
Stephen King’s The Shining is a cracking read. Stanley Kubrick film adaptation of it is also fantastic, a capacious, sinister spine-tingler. But when the film came out many of the book’s fans were upset. Scenes had been omitted from the book’s version of life at the Overlook Hotel. But did you see that lift full of blood? Young Danny riding his tricycle over the wooden floor and then onto the oh-so-silent carpet? Once seen, never forgotten.
The book is not the film. The book is the book. The film is the film.
King might be relieved. As he says:
“I am not a cold guy. And with Kubrick’s The Shining I thought that it was very cold.
“Shelley Duvall as Wendy is really one of the most misogynistic characters ever put on film. She’s basically just there to scream and be stupid. And that’s not the woman I wrote about…I met him [Kubrick] on the set and just on that one meeting, I thought he was a very compulsive man.”
King’s great novels work because they put us into the heads of his characters, because they convey psychological as well as external struggles, because their inner monologues can pour forth out of his prose. It’s part of what makes him a great writer. It’s also why there have been so many lousy films based on Stephen King books — because all of that is lost in the translation. And Kubrick would have been a lousy novelist, his meticulous detachment resulting in, we could presume, so pretty turgid and lifeless writing. But luckily, he was a filmmaker, and his gifts as an aesthete are what made him such a singularly fine one.
Laura Miller says King was right to be unimpressed by Kubrick:
King is, essentially, a novelist of morality. The decisions his characters make — whether it’s to confront a pack of vampires or to break 10 years of sobriety — are what matter to him. But in Kubrick’s “The Shining,” the characters are largely in the grip of forces beyond their control. It’s a film in which domestic violence occurs, while King’s novel is about domestic violence as a choice certain men make when they refuse to abandon a delusional, defensive entitlement. As King sees it, Kubrick treats his characters like “insects” because the director doesn’t really consider them capable of shaping their own fates. Everything they do is subordinate to an overweening, irresistible force, which is Kubrick’s highly developed aesthetic; they are its slaves. In King’s “The Shining,” the monster is Jack. In Kubrick’s, the monster is Kubrick.
Kubrick understood the importance of taking a story and meticulously reworking it for an entirely different medium. The director was a master of genre cinema, stripping it down and blowing it up in its purest form. In fact two other successful King adaptations, Stand By Me (The Body) and The Shawshank Redemption (Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption) are both riddled with inconsistencies between book and film – although not quite as fundamental as The Shining. King has highlighted these two films, along with Misery (1990), as his favourite cinematic interpretations.
It’s all about entertainment. You get to gorge on the book and the film.