Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
WELL-versed in dog shaming – owners sit dogs by apologetic messages – we saw Beyonce’s photo of her walking Daughter Blue Ivy Carter, who is sporting the message on her back “MISS BLUE FARTER”. Is this cruel? No. The gang at Anorak Towers’ Kindergarten thought it fantastic and wonder if Blue Ivy can crack out any of her mum’s hits?
MARY Berry has a fiery temper? The woman hereon called Mary Peri-Peri was not always the calm presence and expert extempore eater on The Great British Bake Off. Berry confided in Piers Morgan that when her little Berries – Thomas, Annabel and William – were young she would smack with a wooden butter pat. “We had corporal punishment in our house,” she said. “I don’t think it hurts them too much, a quick slap on the legs. They would run very fast.”
CHELSEY Harwood is a name all over Twitter. Who is she? Well, she had a sex change. She’s an assisted blonde? And that’s all we know for certain.
WHEN Tom Daley came out as bisexual, the Sun’s Dan Woottoon was happy. He writes in the Sun:
“I WAS the same age as Tom Daley when I came out to my parents. It’s one of the most difficult — but then quickly liberating and life-changing — things I’ve ever had to do… I can only imagine the pressure for Tom at doing so in the public glare…It’s hard to believe he is only 19.”
DORIS Day has something to say:
WOW! How thrilled was Jeff Beck to win a Classic Rock Living Legend Award? The crowd went mild as Jeff played that rock classic Bad Romance, by Lady Gaga.
LET’S face facts: Christmas in 1960s and 70s pop culture was presented as lily white as the wind-driven snow. Holiday specials consisted of lots of smiling Caucasians in festive sweaters singing their little hearts out. Most Christmas tunes on the radio were tailor made for the likes of Pat Boone and Andy Williams – two individuals who I believe legally patented the term “white bread”. I mean, I like Perry Como as much as the next guy, but sometimes it’s nice to funk things up with a little afro-centric vibe (and, no, Johnny Mathis does not count).
MAKING films is a risky business. Why should anyone listen to your stupid story? To convince people, you need someone famous to sell it because, for whatever reason, we trust certain actors more than others.
However, some A-listers just aren’t worth the money as they’re not recouping costs for the studios. With that, Forbes looked at who the worst 10 were and, here they are, with examples of their dubious work.
For example, Adam Sandler commands $15m paychecks, which is great for him but not so much for the studios. Based on the actors last three projects, the list looks at earnings at the box office per dollar of pay.
LATELY, Kanye West has been making some bold claims as well as talking a lot of sense. Of course, most people look at him like he’s just some dumb rapper hyping himself up, while those able to read between the sneering edits and look beyond the headline grabbing one-liners can see that he’s aiming to become a Rothschild rather than Bigger Than Jay Z (he’s already more relevant that J-Hova).
However, aside from his philosophies, there’s nothing like Yeezy when he’s loud and direct, and you can see exactly that as he deals with a heckler at a recent show.
The lady in question was front row and reportedly shrieked at ‘Ye and asked him to remove his signature mask. No-one asks Yeezus to remove his mask.
YOU might know Anna Jardine Jones from her presenting job on Super Casino, one of the UK’s premier late-night TV casino shows. But how did she get the job? What’s her motivation? Is it all glamour? And what’s the truth about that vending machine?
CHANCELLOR George Osborne mets Geri Halliwell at his annual Christmas party at No11 Downing Street in London. Rupert Grint was there, too. He;s the third wheel of the Harry Potter gang, tipped to be the next Dennis Waterman. He’s not quite made it.
IN 1988, Angela Landsbury took a bath and went for a swim on her patio furniture:
HOW do you play rock n’n roll? Well, like this. And LOUD. Play it LOUD:
NIKKI Finke says the man how inspired the film Mandela: Long Walk To Freedom has died. Yeah, that film based on an actual true story. He was 95. That’s older than the film. Who knew?
THE tweet purporting to be from Paris Hilton saluted the passing of Nelson Mandela:
THE Beckhams are returning to the UK. No longer will we have to catch snippets of their life overseas through foreign newspapers and photos from the society pages. Back home, we’ll get to see them all the time. And in readiness for the big return, the Beckhams’ family home is being made ready. Heat magazine reports that the mansion will feature a “James Bond-style” kitchen.
ON the Sunday morning of 21 September 1969, a slightly-built Chief Inspector convinced some hippies inside a squat at a large five storey mansion at 144 Piccadilly to lower an improvised wooden drawbridge so doctors could help a seriously ill person inside. The drawbridge came down and Chief Inspector Michael Rowling flung himself bravely across the barricaded opening to establish a bridgehead. Suddenly a police sergeant blew his whistle and shouted “Come on lads – let’s go in!” and a hundred policemen, seemingly from nowhere, charged over the bridge and through the front door.
HUGE swathes of the press are incredibly excited about the Nigella Lawson court case because they’re getting loads of juicy information on her private life without having to rummage around in bins, tap phones or interview a soul!
Perfect for the modern, lazy hack.
However, it seems that no-one on Fleet Street has actually realised what is being revealed – that Nigella is actually very normal and that the life of a celebrity is crushingly similar to most people’s.
WILLIAM Shatner, for his cover of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, is usually cited as the cardinal wrongdoer among the long list of actors and actresses taking a spin at a singing career. But I must confess, Shat’s spoken-word rendition has grown on me. His sincerity and hamminess are just freaking adorable. For that matter, The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins by his Star Trek comrade, Leonard Nimoy, is equally endearing.
No, this list has nothing adorable in it. There’s nothing charming about a single chord on these celebrity records – nothing to latch onto and attach some redeeming quality. These are objectively awful from the first note to the last.
“Rape” by Peter Wyngard (1970)
In France of course, where fun is greedy
The women are a little more seedy
And rape is hardly ever necessary
Marketing manager Nicola Baker explains: “The Culture Guide has proven to be enormously popular with cultural organisations and the public. It has also been an excellent form of promotion of the Hull City of Culture bid and was used extensively as a backdrop on the day when Hull was announced as the winner, being featured on national and international media reports.
“A large number of groups and individuals contributed suggestions of people, places and events for inclusion. Poppy Morgan is an acclaimed actress – albeit in the adult film industry. She won Best Female Actress of the Year at the 2006 UK Adult Film and Television Awards in London. This guide is clearly not about condoning porn but it is about celebrating Hull’s diversity of culture and entertainment.”
SIR Bradley Wiggins has apologised after cracking an unfortunate joke at the Firecracker Ball in aid of Barnado’s.
Wiggo had donated a signed shirt and when his face appeared on the giant screen he turned to auctioneer Jon Hammond, and said: “You’ve got a posh voice, I like posh voices. Suck me off.”
WHEN actor Paul Walker died in a car crash along with Roger Rodas, the internet reacted. Both men are survived by a young family.