Anorak

Tabloids | Anorak - Part 20

Tabloids Category

The news as told by the UK’s tabloid press – The Sun, Daily Express, Daily Mail, Daily Mirror, Daily Star and News of the World.

Transfer balls: Arsenal, Higuain and £68m going nowhere

Higuain arsenal

 

Transfer Balls: The Daily Mirror says Arsenal are “preparing [a] sensational £68m Gonzalo Higuain bid’. Of course the Mirror is more conniving than that, adding a question mark to the end of the statement. Google doesn’t see those question …

Posted: 27th, October 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Arsenal balls: Wenger quits in 2017 and stays until 2019

Arsene Wenger is leaving Arsenal. But when will he go? The Daily Mirror has been hot on the news.

Today Steve Stammers says Wenger will remain at Arsenal until 2019:

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The big question is: does John Cross, …

Posted: 25th, October 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Arsenal offer Lavezzi a ‘ditch’, players agrees Barcelona deal, wants to join Juventus

lavezzi thong

 

Transfer Balls: Do Arsenal need another striker? Surely if Olivier Giroud is good enough score against the mighty Bayern Munich, and with Theo Walcott finding the net regularly, and Danny Welbeck on his way back from injury, the Gunners …

Posted: 24th, October 2015 | In: Arsenal, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Manchester United have £50m for Spurs’ Harry Kane

Transfer Balls: Manchester Untied will offer Spurs £50m for their striker Harry Kane, says the Daily Star.  The paper says United manager Louis Van Gaal is  “demanding the Old Trafford top brass” sign the 22-year-old England striker.

The paper …

Posted: 24th, October 2015 | In: manchester united, News, Sports, Spurs, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Swansea City balls: magic Gary Monk vanishes

Gary Monk is magic! The Swansea City manager really is magic. He can make himself disappear. Yesterday the Mirror’s John Cross tweeted:

Garry Monk misses training as pressure mounts at Swansea

Monk missing. Pressure mounting. Two plus two equals… Sacked?!…

Posted: 22nd, October 2015 | In: News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Eden Hazard wants to quit Chelsea for Real Madrid AND Barcelona

 

News is that Eden Hazard wants to leave Chelsea. The Belgian fancies joining Real Madrid says L’Equipe. As is so often the way with these things, Hazard has told friends, family, pals, dogs and parrots that he wants …

Posted: 22nd, October 2015 | In: Chelsea, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Arsenal balls: ‘devastated’ Ramey back in three weeks

Arsenal Injury Balls: Having read about the “devastating” injury to Aaron Ramsey in the Metro and how the Welsh footballer will miss ’10’ matches, the Mirror says he will be out “up to a month”.

The …

Posted: 22nd, October 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Arsenal balls: Ramsey and that ‘devastating injury’

The media loves an injury. Arsenal midfielder and Wales captain Aaron Ramsey was injured during the Gunners’ match against Bayern Munich. The Metro picks up the player’s medical charts. And gasps:

 

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Devastating? Ramsay had his leg badly broken …

Posted: 21st, October 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Clickbait football: Surprising facts about Arsenal for Metro readers

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The “surprising” stat is that Arsenal have won more Premier League games than any other team in 2015. Trouble is that season runs from August to May – so its means nothing.

 …

Posted: 18th, October 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Arsenal chase Isco to beat Chelsea in a game of tabloid tag

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Transfer Balls: The Metro says Arsenal are looking to buy a “world star”. Who he? And what is a “world star”?

Rebecca Coles explains:

Arsenal ready to beat Chelsea to transfer of world-star in January – report

Yes, yes. …

Posted: 17th, October 2015 | In: News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Daily Express story that children are ‘forced’ to work for migrants is total balls

daily express scare

 

 

Wow! Children are bing told to cook and clean for migrants!

Tom Parfitt reiterates the shocker:

 

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FORCED! And migrants or asylum seekers?

Pupils in Lubeck, Germany will work in kitchen [sic] and change bed linen at

Posted: 16th, October 2015 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Arsenal balls: Wenger quits ‘all of a sudden’

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has ‘named the date when his career at the Gunners end – the Mirror says it’s June 30 2017:

 

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The Mirror says Wenger will “quit in 19 moths”.

On October 3, the same …

Posted: 16th, October 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


British Newspapers Duped By North Korea Win World Cup Story

NORTH Korea have made it to the World Cup final. The Metro reports:

“North Korea’s state controlled media is brazenly telling the country’s football fans that the national team have reached the World Cup final in Brazil… In a

Posted: 13th, July 2014 | In: Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Juxtaposition Fail: Monty Python Suffer From Dementia

JUXTAPOSITION of the day: Monty Python and the “scandal of dementia patients ‘cut adrift’ after diagnosis” in the i:

 

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Posted: 2nd, July 2014 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Killer Nazi Child-Eating Rats Take Over Britain: The tale Of The Daily Star’s Toothy Shockers

THE Country is in fear of “Monster Rats As Big As Cows”.

 

cows

 

 

Cows are pretty big.…

Posted: 27th, June 2014 | In: Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hacking: Rebekah Brooks And Andy Coulson – The Front Pages

MOST of today front pages concentrate on just one story: the hacking trial and Rebekah Brooks’ aquittal. It turns out that only her News Internaional junior, Andy Coulson, knew it was going on.

 

 

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 …

Posted: 25th, June 2014 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Daily Mail Sexism: Maria Sharapova Is Only There To Support The Men

WIMBLEDON is here. And that means the …TWAGS. Who they? They’re the Tennis (players’) Wives And Girlfriends.

The Mail spots a few of the blonder ones. But – hold on – don’t women play tennis, too? And isn’t that Maria …

Posted: 23rd, June 2014 | In: Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Daily Mail: Lifestyle Gives You Cancer

ADD this to the list of things that give Daily Mail readers cancer:

 

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Read the FULL List here.

 …

Posted: 22nd, June 2014 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


England Fans Drink 17 Pints Each Watching World Cup Defeat

GOOD to see that in this age of electronic journalism, the Daily Mail hacks are keeping their bottoms up in the pub.

The report on England’s defeat to Italy in the World Cup includes a great statistic:

A million England

Posted: 16th, June 2014 | In: Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Sinking Sun: Today The Royal Mail Put Shit Through 22 Million Letter Boxes

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NORMALLY if someone puts shit through your letterbox, that person is in breach of the law and could face prosecutions.

Yet today 22 million homes had a piece of shit on the doormat, delivered courtesy of the Royal Mail.…

Posted: 12th, June 2014 | In: Key Posts, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Daily Mail Reduces JK Rowling’s ‘Air Bags’ To A 1950s Ideal

THE Daily Mail is read by women who enjoy disliking other women.

In today’s newspaper, readers are treated to a banner declaring “How women’s bodies have ballooned since the 1950s”.

Ballooned is not a word associated with praise, is it? …

Posted: 12th, June 2014 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Daily Mail’s List Of Things That Give You Cancer: From A To Z

SCARE Stories in the Daily Mail – here’s a list of things that give you cancer:
AFTERNOONShere
ARTIFICIAL FLAVOURS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-55023/Cancer-causing-chemicals-soy-sauce.html
ARTIFICIAL

Posted: 27th, July 2011 | In: Key Posts, Tabloids | Comments (22) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


I’m A Celebrity 2010 Line Up: Shaun Ryder To Eat Gillian McKeith

I’M A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! 2010. It’s a bumper crop of gonad munchers:

Nigel Havers – The Hugh Grant of his age. Fopped his way to glory in Chariots of Fire; son of  former Lord Chancellor Baron …

Posted: 9th, November 2010 | In: Key Posts, Tabloids | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Omar Bakri Declares War On The X Factor

SLOW News day. Then call Omar Bakri. Come in Omar Barki… Do you read me?

The Sun picks up its walkie talkie and tunes into the Bakri cackle. The result is nothing less than “THE X FATWA – Terror alert …

Posted: 21st, October 2008 | In: News, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Oasis Hit The Stars

GORDON Smart, Oasis PR man and Sun columnist, make use of the asterisk in a piece on Noel Gallagher.

Oasis are planning a tour, and of late the Sun has been full of stories about Noel saying this one is …

Posted: 17th, October 2008 | In: News, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0