Posts Tagged ‘ashley cole’
Top 10 biggest dicks in the Premier League
10. Sam Allardyce
Blackburn’s manager, aka “Big Sam”, qualifies for this list for several reasons:
1) Rampant ego. Thought he was good enough to manage England. Funny, that.
2) Encourages teams to play crap, long-ball football.
3) Sucks up to buddy Alex Ferguson, all the time. Example: his recent attack on Rafa Benitez.
4) He likes El-Hadji Diouf.
5) He’s a dick.
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Comic Relief Celebrity Cull: Cheryl Cole To Murder Intellectual Ashley, Coleen Nolan Down
COMIC Relief Does The Celebrity Cull: Killer Cheryl Cole, Coleen Nolan down And Party Palmer’s Desk Rage.
The story so far: The EU Celebrity Mountain is too high to sustain. Some celebrities must die or be retired. Dancing On Ice has put the plan into action:
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Posted: 8th, March 2009 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Ashley Cole’s Sorry Non-Denial Denial Reconstruction
ASHLEY Cole has been pinched by the police. Mr Cheryl Cole swore at police and was arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct. He now apologises, sort of. Cole enacts that time-honoured tactic – the non-denial denial.
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Posted: 5th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (2)
Ashley Cole arrested
TODAY is a bumper day for footballers behaving badly. First Steven Taylor calls Cristiano Ronaldo “ugly” (we’re still getting over the shock from that one), and now comes the front-page news that Cashley Cole was arrested last night/early this morning outside The Collection nightclub in west London. He had been drinking with Chelsea team-mates John Terry and Michael Mancienne.
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Posted: 5th, March 2009 | In: Sports | Comments (5)
Rio Blande: Ferdinand And Ashley Cole To Make Hollywood Film
SOME football news in the Sun that Rio Ferdinand and Ashley Cole are teaming up to produce a film.
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Cheryl Cole and Amanda Holden Put BOAST On Hold
CALLS are coming in thick and fast to Anorak’s BOAST hotline. All orders are final, but Cheryl Cole and Amanda Holden are unsure…
Says Cheryl of her time before husband Ashley was accused of vomiting on their marriage vows:
“I was really broody. I’d see children and think that’s me. I’m ready” – Sun
The call to BOAST was made. But then cancelled. Sadly the children are sat in our storeroom awaiting despatch. No refunds but they can be exchanged…
Amanda Holden is on line 2:
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Posted: 1st, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (6)
Cheryl Cole’s Water Retention And Karma Suits Yer
CHERYL COLE wants you to know that “I CAN’T CRY ANY MORE THAN I’VE CRIED.”
Cheryl Cole has suffered, although not from water retention.
“I WAS CLINICALLY DEPRESSED AND UNDER SIX STONE,” says the headline.
Moving inside OK!, past “CHERYL WALKS AND TALKS” to Cheryl weeps and wails.
It’s not all about Cheryl, and this is a feature on she and her Girls Aloud bandmates. And we will get to whatsherface, the skinny one, the very skinny one and the one with the red-hair soon enough.
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Posted: 24th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, OK! | Comments (4)
Cheryl Cole’s Private Affair Made Public
CHERYL Cole is back with her vomitous Ashley Sole. She wearing her wedding ring. Although, the Mirror says it might be a ring that was a present for her second anniversary.
Or it might be a spaghetti hoop that got lodged in Ashley’s throat, or a clutch of diamonds that became entangled in the toilet paper and stuck to Cheryl’s fingers?
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Posted: 18th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
Cheryl Cole Calls The Celebrity Baby Ordering Service
THE People advertise the news that Cheryl Cole, of the Chelsea Coles says: “I want a baby with Ashley next year.
Well, what’s one more, alleged puking, diamond-pooing little darling? But before the world can welcome into its bosom anther Ashley Cole, Cheryl needs to call Anorak’s Celebrity Baby Ordering Service.
Says Cheryl: “I want to start working on that baby.”
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Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: Back pages, Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (4)
