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Posts Tagged ‘jacqui smith’

Jacqui Smith’s Porn Show Flashes Her Ignorance And Lays Bare Her Vanity

JACQUI Smith, who lost her job as Home Secretary and parliamentary seat  for massaging her expenses and having a husband who bought TV porn with taxpayer’s money, is to present Porn Again, a BBC radio documentary exploring the porn industry.

Of course, the professional porn industry is in peril, it’s glossy output being challenged by user-generated free porn.

But Smith will investigate. Although you know what her conclusion will be when she says that her husband has not watched porn since being caught. The message is that watching porn is worse than being caught watching porn someone else paid for.

“In making this programme, I’ve been able to challenge my own views and attitudes and I want others to have the chance to join the debate too.”

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Posted: 22nd, February 2011 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment

Rosie Winterton Soundproof’s Prescott’s Biscuit Tin

rosie_prescottROSIE Winterton MP, the pensions minister, claimed £4,690 for “soundproofing of bedroom wall and redecoration to bedroom, bathroom, living room, kitchen, staircase” – a claim reduced to £3,800 by the fees office, reports the Telegraph.

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Posted: 29th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment

Alistair Darling On Finding A Good Tax-Avoidance Accountant

darling-expenses1GOOD old Chancellor Alistair Darling, Chancellor of the Exchequor, for supporting the accountancy industry by paying an accountant public money to complete his tax return.

MPs then – possibly – asked the same accountants about capital gains tax, if a porn film is tool of the trade and to explain tax loop holes.

Chancellor Alistair Darling is among nine Cabinet Ministers who paid accountants public money to complete their tax returns, it has been reported.

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Posted: 25th, May 2009 | In: Photojournalism, Politicians | Comments (11)

Jacqui Smith Introduces ID Cards For Porn

id-cards-being-trial-in-manchesterID Cards are being trialled in Manchester.

The card will cost £30 and the shops will charge another £30 to collect the data, which will be stored on a Government database.

Says Phwaooah! Jacqui Smith on plans to introduce card purchases to chemists and other stores:

“While private companies will clearly benefit from the increased footfall from offering this service, their customers will benefit from being able to quickly provide their biometrics while they are out doing the shopping.”

To the shop:

Mr Smith: “Just this.”

Places bundle of organs on the counter.

Shopkeeper: “Aviation Monthly… And these, sir?”

Mr Smith: “Y-Yes.”

Shopkeeper: “Brown bag, sir? £98.53, please, sir. And your ID card, sir.”

Mr Smith hands over card.

Shopkeeper: “It says you’re married, sir. And that you are white. I believe this copy of Asian Babes supports stereotypical views that Asian woman are servile and there to serve the white man’s needs. The card says your wife is white, sir, and own a bath plug. And what the interest in Aviation, sir? Your data says you are one sixteenth Turkish.”

Presses panic button.

Police arrive, with numbers removed  from shoulder straps, and drag Mr Smith away to an unmarked car for screening…

Image: hack

Posted: 6th, May 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment

Michael Savage Plans To Sue Jacqui Smith

gordon-swastikaUS SHOCK Jock Michael Savage is on the name of those not wanted in the UK.

Sadly, the list does not include some those already here, just those who might want to come here, possibly as part of an invading army. And, as it turns out, some of those on the list don’t want to come here. Like Michael Savage, who – as ever – is a man shaped by nominative determinalism:

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Posted: 5th, May 2009 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Jacqui Smith “Fame Porn” Wins Award

JACQUI SMITH gets blue plaque on her home –

Smith lived here – “best known for claiming expenses for her barbecue and husband’s porn films

And smoking puff.


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Posted: 15th, April 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment

Derek Draper And McBride: “I Wasn’t Lying On Purpose”

MORE on Derek Draper and Damian McBride, and the quote that may serve as his epitaph: “I Wasn’t Lying On Purpose.” As told to Channel 4 news.

The emails are here.

Draper defends himself on LabourList:

Imagine if all your emails suddenly became available to people wanting to damage you.

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Posted: 12th, April 2009 | In: Politicians | Comment

Jade Goody’s Grave Robbers

JADE Goody: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at Jade Goody’s post-reality career, with grave robbers, Jade TV and awards…


It’s what she would have wanted, right?

Ten Famous Shoplifters, With Jade Goody And Steven Gerrard

JADE Goody’s final resting place is being lined up as a target by robbers, her family believe.

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Posted: 7th, April 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (9)

Home Office Website Links To Japanese Porn

VISITORS to the Home Office’s website can click on a link to a Japanese pornography site.

Can it be that Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has responded to the cost of Channel X and negotiated a discount, an affiliate deal, with an alternative porn supplier?

If so, the taxpayer should thank her.

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Posted: 6th, April 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment

Jacqui Smith’s Top Ten Porn Films

IN light of MP for Feckhenham Jacqui Smith’s porno nights in, Anorak bring you the Top Ten Political Skin Flicks Ever:

Home Sexretary
Phwoar! On Terror
Supergun – Iraq Tails
Private Members Bill
Her Majesty’s Pleasure
The All-Women Shorts List
Under-Secretary of State
Administer For Women
Nine Into 11
Cabinet Reshuffle

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Posted: 30th, March 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

Jacqui Smith Can’t Even Keep Porn Secret

JACQUI Smith and porn:

How are we supposed to trust the government with data protection if the Home Secretary can’t even keep the fact that her husband has been watching porn secret?

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Posted: 30th, March 2009 | In: Politicians | Comments (2)

Jacqui Smith In Home Porn Scandal

JACQUI Smith, the pot-smoking Home Secretary, has been caught in an expenses row – using taxpayers’ money to pay for porn films.

Can the matter be explained as research into the sex industry she wishes to stamp on? Did any of the films feature East European slaves? And should we the taxpayers get to see the evidence and decide for ourselves?

Julie Bindel: Do you know anyone personally who has used a prostitute?

JS: [Hesitates] No.

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Posted: 30th, March 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (10)

Fire At Will: British Police Get Stun Gun Tasers

NEWS on the wires that police officers will be given 10,000 Taser stun guns. They’re regulation issue.

Specially trained officers will be able to use the 50,000-volt weapons when faced with the threat of serious violence, says the Home Office.

Good news, then, for the police. Stick a magnet on the end and when deployed the wires glue the perp’s knife and make him dance like a demented John Sergeant.

But not everyone is happy.

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Posted: 24th, November 2008 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (5)

Headline Of The Week: Smith Attacked Over 42-Day Speech

THE BBC reports:

Smith Attacked Over 42-Day Speech

F*** me on a swing and call me Georgina Baillie. Bring back Russell Brand – his show only laststed a couple of hours. Maybe it’s the drugs..?

Posted: 29th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)

UN Plans For Legalisation Of Cannabis

IF cannabis was legal, lots of farmers would have a business and it could be controlled better:

A report on cannabis prepared for next year’s UN drug policy review will suggest that a “regulated market” would cause less harm than the current international prohibition. The report, which is likely to reopen the debate about cannabis laws, suggests that controls such as taxation, minimum age requirements and labelling could be explored.

(Image: Beau Bo D’Or Website)

Says the Guardian:

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Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (11)

Nadine Dorries Castrates The Recess Monkey

NADINE Dorries, the Christian fundamentalist in white, is on the hunt for a blogger. Run, Recess Monkey, Run:

Apart from the other 100 people in the room. Nadine Dorries is going to stop blogging. She said earlier that if she meets a nameless other blogger – /present in Brum today/, as I breeze shot with him – ‘he will father no children, I tell you’.

Nadine is the woman in white…

Christian Fundamentalists Aborted: Nadine Dorries Tagged

The Biggest Boobs In Westminster: Jacqui Smith’s Knockers

Posted: 30th, September 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment

Jacqui Smith Unleashes ID Cards

A PRESS release from Her Majesty’s Government: “The first UK Identity Card will be unveiled by the Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, on Thursday 25 September at 11.30am.”

Media are invited to attend an on-the-record, on-camera press conference at the Home Office where the design of the first cards, which will be issued to foreign nationals from November this year, will be revealed.

Anorak has an insider there.

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Posted: 25th, September 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)

Ministers Move To Electrocute Sex Offenders

YOU join us in a caravan in Rhyl, where a man is strapped to a chair. There are wires. A figure sits to the rear.

Figure: “Are you a pervert.”

Man: “No.”

It’s the Ministry of Justice’s pilot scheme that uses polygraph tests on sex offenders living in the community. Wires are attached to genitals and the offenders’ blood flow monitored.

We need homogeny in all, the fear being that one tester’s voice will cause a reaction different to another’s. For such reasons Victoria Beckham’s voice has been ruled out as a “Menace To Public Safety” and the voices of all American women are being used as a sexual cosh to quell all and any lustful thoughts.

The voice settled upon is that of Jacqui Smith, it being the pervert’s Voice Of Choice.

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Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (4)