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Posts Tagged ‘large hadron collider’

Brian Cox autotunes his way back to the beginning of time

AUTOTUNE has been the pariah of ears throughout 2012. However, Autotune is a fine invention when used well or creatively. Regarding the latter, a number of amusing Autotuned videos have appeared online, making the most tedious of voices more akin to an cyborg choir!

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Posted: 29th, December 2012 | In: Celebrities | Comment


Large Hadron Collider Sparks Sex Craze

end-of-the-worldWHEN the devilish Large Hadron Collider fired up – briefly – the world stood on the brink of end.

Switzerland was doomed – such a waste of all that tidying. Austria would be next. But the destruciton would not end there – and the world would notice.

In Brisbane, Australia teenagers saw it as the time for one last goodbye note. Keen to leave a legacy to aliens in future millennia future, two students aged between 13 and 15 were filmed engaged in sex acts in the toilets during school hours.

It is understood the girl wanted to lose her virginity to the boy – believing that the world was about to end. Another student filmed the sex acts on his mobile phone… and then circulated it around the school and the wider community via bluetooth.

There is talk of criminal proceedings for recording and distributing the images

But these images are not cartoons, so such a prosecution is unlikely in the land Down Under – beneath the Doomsday Machine…

The Large Hadron Collider Has Killed Everyone

Hadron Collider Used To Bring Satan Back

Large Hadron Collider: We Might Not all Die, Says BBC

Large Hadron Collider: New Labour’s Theme Song To Armageddon

Satan Bug: The Large Hadron Collider

Up And Atom: The Large Hadron Collider Sex Aide

The One About The Hadron Collider And Jade Goody

Posted: 4th, September 2009 | In: Reviews | Comments (2)


What Happens When You Stick Your Head In The Large Hadron Colldier

THE Large Hadron Collider. When it works, it will kill us all. But what if you stick your head inside it? What happens?

So it was in 1978 that when the proton beam entered Anatoli Bugorski’s skull it measured about 200,000 rads, and when it exited, having collided with the inside of his head, it weighed in at about 300,000 rads. Bugorski, a 36-year-old researcher at the Institute for High Energy Physics in Protvino, was checking a piece of accelerator equipment that had malfunctioned – as had, apparently, the several safety mechanisms. Leaning over the piece of equipment, Bugorski stuck his head in the space through which the beam passes on its way from one part of the accelerator tube to the next and saw a flash brighter than a thousand suns. He felt no pain.

From what we know about radiation, about 500 to 600 rads is enough to kill a person (though we don’t know of anyone else who has been exposed to radiation in the form of a proton beam moving at about the speed of sound). The left side of his face swollen beyond recognition, Bugorski was taken to a clinic in Moscow so that doctors could observe his death over the following two to three weeks.

Over the next few days, skin on the back of his head and on his face just next to his left nostril peeled away to reveal the path the beam had burned through the skin, the skull, and the brain tissue. The inside of his head continued to burn away: all the nerves on the left were gone in two years, paralyzing that side of his face. Still, not only did Bugorski not die, but he remained a normally functioning human being, capable even of continuing in science. For the first dozen years, the only real evidence that something had gone neurologically awry were occasional petit mal seizures; over the last few years Bugorski has also had six grand mals. The dividing line of his life goes down the middle of his face: the right side has aged, while the left froze 19 years ago. When he concentrates, he wrinkles only half his forehead.

When it works, they say it will kill us all…

Soruce, Via

The Large Hadron Collider Has Killed Everyone

Hadron Collider Used To Bring Satan Back

Large Hadron Collider: We Might Not all Die, Says BBC

Large Hadron Collider: New Labour’s Theme Song To Armageddon

Satan Bug: The Large Hadron Collider

Up And Atom: The Large Hadron Collider Sex Aide

The One About The Hadron Collider And Jade Goody

Posted: 5th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (4)


Up And Atom: The Large Hadron Collider Sex Aide

HOW was the Large Hadron Collider for you? Did it being out the Devil?

The Star says that at 8:30 yesterday the machine was switched on, at the exact time when “couples around the globe” staged their own earth-moving experiments.

Yes, 8:30. Or, as the Sun says, “8.33”.

Yesterday the Star told us it was 8:15

Old Mr Anorak would like to apologies to all commuters, passing schoolchildren and interested pets who passed the window of And So To Bed furniture store at 8:16 yesterday morning where he and his current flame where road testing the facilities…

Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: Tabloids | Comments (6)


The Large Hadron Collider Has Killed Everyone

THE LARGE Hadron Collider has killed everyone. If you are reading this you are dead. If you are not reading this you are dead.

DAILY TELEGRAPH:

Gill Hornby: “Before the world ends, I just wanted to say: I told you so”

In my own branch of Astrophysics, CKtC – or, to give it its full name, Curiosity Killed the Cat – we jolly well wish they wouldn’t.

Stalking celebrities for science: Alexander Fsachem needs celebs to make sense of the universe on the BBC…

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Posted: 10th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Strange But True, Tabloids | Comments (42)