Posts Tagged ‘Madonna’
Madonna And Guy’s Marriage Contract
WE join the action as Madonna and Guy Ritchie are having full and frank discussion. Says Guy:
“I understand that my actions have upset you, please work with me to resolve this.”
The words form part of the couple’s marriage contract, reports the Sun.
Anorak imagines that if the words are repeated often enough they become only more meaningful, and Bitchie only more sincere.
He should work them into every day interactio:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 29th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cart Horse Capers: Madonna And Guy To Star In New Divorce Film
NEWS is that Madonna, aka Vadge, is “haunted” by legs, specifically those attached to the rest of Tania Strecker, a blonde mo-del who once dated Guy Ritchie (Bitchie).
Tania, that’s her with the open shirt, naked chest and unsheathed lags, is now married to “millionaire James de Rothschild” is also a TV presenter, naturally.
Of course the big news is that Loraine Kelly’s prayers ‘have been answered and the Express can announce: “Madonna and Guy ‘will stay pals”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 23rd, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Madonna Dresses Kids Like A Rod And Guy’s Christmas Star
DAY whatever in the divorce of Madonna (Vadge) and Guy Ritchie (Bitchie).
With no word from either party, the tabloids pick up on sign language.
Says the Sun:
“Defiant Madonna takes another swipe at hubby Guy Ritchie – by dressing their son in a New York Yankees T-shirt.”
Is Bitchie a Dodgers fan? Dunno. The story hinges on the fact that Madonna’s friend, one Alex Rodriguez, wears the Yankees kit in a professional capacity.
The Sun assures us that “Guy will be angry to see her parading their son in the hunk’s team colours”. In the league table of replica kits don’t dos:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 22nd, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Vadge And Bitchie: Keeping Tabs On Guy And Madonna’s Divorce
MADONNA and Guy Ritchie are divorcing: It’s the Vadge and Bitchie saga…
And the tabloids are hoping and praying that the whole thing does not get really very messy and cause them to spend page upon page upon page giving advice to Madge The Vadge and Guy Bitchie…
Now read on.
The dignified divorce her children have a right to expect went up in smoke on Thursday when she denigrated her husband Guy Ritchie – natural father to one of her children, father to their adopted son and stepfather to another child – as an ’emotional retard’ – Amanda Platell (Daily Mail)
And the little kiddies?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 20th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Madge The Vadge’s Malawi Cob On
MADONNA. Guy. Little Davie Banda:
He also claims Vadge promised to keep him updated about his son’s well-being and all that, but she hasn’t. Yohane said, “I thought she would take him away from the danger of malaria and other diseases that kill children here, and that she would let me know that he was happy. I have never heard from her since the day I agreed to let her adopt David. She has sent no photographs or news. I suppose she just wants him for herself.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 19th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
No Penny For The Guy: British Press Declare War On Madonna
MADONNA and Guy Ritchie are putting the tin lid on their celebrity love affair by ending it in the text book fashion: they are divorcing.
The Mirror seems unable and unwilling to believe money will not be a factor and mess up the divorce, telling readers of Madonna’s £300million fortune and Guy’s chance to grab £50million of it.
“SHE CAN HAVE IT ALL,” says the paper’s headline. “Guy snubs Madonna cash..kids are his only concern.”
The inference is that Madonna’s cash is not good enough for our Guy. He has not declined Madonna’s money, which might not even have been offered – he has snubbed it.
Anorak detects the whiff of nationalism in this story. If money is not to make it nasty, then let’s make it a fight between British sense of fair play and American brashness.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 17th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (5)
The Huge Row Over Madonna And Guy’s Money
MADONNA and Guy Ritchie are to split and in their gift to journalism, the pair are the centre of much handwringing.
Oh, let’s hope and pray it’s a clean split and not an ugly, messy, murderous and column-inch filling divorce, say the hacks and hackettes.
If there is to be a terrible row, it will surely be over money, the papers say.
“MADONNA and Ritchie to split – but what will be the cost?” asks the Independent.
The paper says “law experts” are talking of a “£100m” settlement
SHE’S GOT £300M, HE’S GOT £30 BUT.. The Guy doesn’t want a penny” – The Sun
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Mirror Falsly Claims Madonna Ritchie Divorce Scoop
THIS whole Madonna and Guy thing makes me really, really sad. Not because they’re splitting up but because the torture of pretending they weren’t since our exclusive story waaaay back in June”.
So writes Polly Hudson, the Daily Mirror’s celebrity watcher, who possibly saw yesterday’s Sun front-page. Or as other put it:
Divorce? No… Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s civilised separation – Daily Mail, May 25, 2008
The story was taken up on the web blogs:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: Reviews, Tabloids | Comment
Good News: Guy Ritchie And Madonna Feel The Strain
CELEBRATING the divorce of Madonna and Guy Ritchie in the Daily Mail:
SOME GOOD NEWS AT LAST!
In other papers:
One more immigrant leaves: Daily Express
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (3)
Madonna Spokeswoman Confirms Singer’s Divorce From Guy Ritchie
GUY Ritchie and Madonna are to divorce. He’s keeping the credits to Swept Away, the title “The man who discovered Vinnie Jones” and rhyming slang for orange. She gets the English accent.
Says Madonna’s agent Liz Rozenberg:
“Madonna and Guy Ritchie have agreed to divorce after 7 l/2 years of marrige. They have both requested that the media maintain respect for their family at this difficult time. A final settlement has not been agreed upon yet.”
Maintain respect..? Good to see both parties have retained their senses of humour.
Madonna And Guy Were Trying To Act
Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (6)
Madonna And Guy Were Trying To Act
MADONNA and Guy Ritchie are divorcing.
Why? Because they “can’t bear to live with the pretence any longer”.
Anyone who has seen Madonna pretending, or acting as one calls it, will know how unbearable things can get.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comments (5)
Madonna Is The Products Of Others
MADONNA, the tyrant:
“Madonna is a demanding diva even to her peers. The Swedish pop star Robyn was psyched when the Material Mom invited her to open for a handful of her European concerts but quickly found out there are rules. Robyn told her hometown Swedish paper that she and her crew were told “not to approach Madonna, not to speak to Madonna and, above all, no pictures…I hadn’t expected any glamour, but it’s strange that they assume that the first thing you’re gonna do is run after Madonna and ask for an autograph. My worst nightmare would be to turn into Madonna…Madonna is constantly chasing the latest trends.”
Madonna says Sarah Plain is a nutter… Indeed.
Fascist Émigré Madonna Threatens Sarah Palin
Madonna Shows That Obama Has No Chance Against McCain’s Gang
Madonna Is A Singer, In A Room, Dreaming Of Africa
Celebrities Against Sarah Palin: Lindsay Lohan Rules
Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Oprah Winfrey On Sarah Palin
Posted: 11th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)
Fascist Émigré Madonna Threatens Sarah Palin
HERE’S MADONNA making threats of violence against Sarah Palin. Madonna demands Palin gets off her “street”. Madonna lives in London.SArah Plain lives in an annex of the USA.
Not that Palin got to see her name celebrated live in song – brave Madonna banned Palin from her concerts then threatened her. Cue song:
Sarah Palin is getting harder not to like all the time…
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 10th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Sarah Palin Kill Of The Day: Madonna
SARAH Palin Kill of the day: Madonna get invited…
Sarah Palin – she’s hard not to like…
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 9th, October 2008 | In: Politicians | Comments (13)
Sarah Palin Escapes Madonna
SAYA Madonna:
At one point during the US kickoff of her “Sticky and Sweet” tour at the Meadowlands Saturday night, the Material Mom indulged her Republican-hating ways, shouting, “Sarah Palin can’t come to my party. Sarah Palin can’t come to my show. It’s nothing personal.” Then the kabbalah queen told the crowd, “Here’s the sound of Sarah Palin’s husband’s snowmobile when it won’t start,” followed by a loud screeching noise.
Sarah Palin – she’s hard not to like…
Madonna Shows That Obama Has No Chance Against McCain’s Gang
Madonna Is A Singer, In A Room, Dreaming Of Africa
Celebrities Against Sarah Palin: Lindsay Lohan Rules
Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Oprah Winfrey On Sarah Palin
Posted: 8th, October 2008 | In: Reviews | Comments (8)
Cock-Knees Up: Thieves Strike At Guy Richie’s Birthday Bash
COR luve a hound, Guv’nor, wots all this abaht Guy Richie’s birthday party?
The Star says that while the Mockney one was engaged in an East End sing-song with friends, thieves struck at a neighbouring telephone exchange.
No more details are listed, and it thought that the coffee leaves had it on their plates of foie gras with a few phone books and some stamps.
But are the two incidents connected? Says the Star:
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids | Comment
