Mof Gimmers - Author Archive

Male train drivers decide skirts are answer to shorts ban

IT is hard to know what to wear when the weather has been as hot as it has been. Going to work in sweltering heat is no fun, especially if … (read more)

Posted: 12th, June 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Man mistakes dildo for gun

A MAN showing off his collection of toy guns in a video has made the kind of error the internet thrives on. He demonstrated a peculiar toy rubber gun, never once … (read more)

Posted: 11th, June 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Policeman sings the hits of Oasis

POLICEMEN can be a bit dour, but one PC in Birmingham decided he’d liven things up by singing the general public some songs. Regrettably, he chose the songbook of Oasis.

A … (read more)

Posted: 10th, June 2013 | In: Music | Comment

Watch as newsreaders HATE each other

AS we know, everyone who appears on our TV screens is a preening, bitchy git. And so, let us gaze adoringly at a news anchor and a weather presenter who … (read more)

Posted: 10th, June 2013 | In: Reviews, TV & Radio | Comment

Striker hits post FOUR times

SOMETIMES, as a goalkeeper, you have to ride your luck in football. Well, one goalie had a cool time against a Greek striker as he hit the woodwork FOUR times … (read more)

Posted: 10th, June 2013 | In: Sports | Comment

Man breaks into bar, steal and drinks beer, passes out on floor

STUPID criminals! Hurray! One dumbass broke into a pub and was found passed out on the floor after stealing and drinking too much ale.

Adam Bell helped himself to so much booze … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Mexico elects cat as mayor

MEXICO is a weird and wonderful country, but surely no-one could’ve ever expected that, within its borders, a cat would be elected to run for mayor.

Morris has been put forward as … (read more)

Posted: 7th, June 2013 | In: Politicians, Strange But True | Comment

AEG didn’t think they’d need to vet Conrad Murray for Michael Jackson

THE death of Michael Jackson made for an unbelievable night, mainly because it happened during the Glastonbury Festival where rumours of celebrity deaths always take off, usually unfounded. Alas, it … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment

Woman invents this vengeful game to dump cheating boyfriend!

CHEATING is a crime. It happens every day. There are people running round. Soon they’ll have to pay. Think nobody’s watching, but you better think again… another heart broken.

If you … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment

Cheerios advert brings out the racists

BIZARRELY, in 2013, there are people who still define other humans by the colour of their skin. All white people are ruthless and can’t dance, all black people are criminals, … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Reviews, The Consumer | Comment

Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat

Karl Largefeld cat

FEEL free to insert your own pussy jokes into this article: Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat.

The 79-year-old fashion imbecile is well known for … (read more)

Posted: 6th, June 2013 | In: Celebrities, Fashion | Comment

Cambridge student too ugly to punt

THE Oxbridge universities don’t make it easy for people to like them do they? It is all ties and crests, hazing and fags, bizarre rituals and elitism and worst of … (read more)

Posted: 4th, June 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Goat filmed trying to kill Brazilians! Hurray!

AS well you know, animals are trying to kill all humans and a video has captured a goat trying to do everyone in who lives in Sao Paulo in Brazil.

Local … (read more)

Posted: 3rd, June 2013 | In: Strange But True | Comment

McDonald’s offer 100 Big Mac reward for stolen statue


MULTI-MILLION dollar industry, McDonald’s have offered a reward of 100 Big Macs for the return of a stolen statue of Ronald McDonald.

100 Big Macs. As opposed to … (read more)

Posted: 31st, May 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Stinking rich actress Zosia Mamet begs for money online for vanity project

KICKSTARTER projects are great for people with bright ideas and no money. Smart, broke people pitch their ideas to the ether and people offer to fund them with whatever they … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities | Comment

The Pope: Now performing exorcisms, apparently

THE new Pope – Pope Francis, as everyone has clearly forgotten his name already, after watching him get unveiled like an X Factor winner on TV – has a fascination … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment (1)

Football boss breaks into mystic’s house over love-spell

PEOPLE in football are all thunderous bores or terrifically crackers. Mercifully, we’re looking at the latter here with Jose Laparra.

Jose, who used to be president of Spanish side Club Deportivo … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2013 | In: Sports, Strange But True | Comment

Stupid criminals steal van filled with corpses

WE live to mock criminals on The Anorak because they can’t do a thing about it. If they’re good criminals, they’re still active and uncaught, so they’re not going to … (read more)

Posted: 30th, May 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Popstar Laura Miller’s boob falls out during TV performance

REMEMBER when Janet Jackson had a perfectly orchestrated ‘malfunction’ with her wardrobe during the Super Bowl, when her boobie fell out?

Well, it has happened again, except this time, it looks … (read more)

Posted: 28th, May 2013 | In: Celebrities, Reviews | Comment

Doctor Who is racist? And John Simm hates all the fans?

WHOVIANS are some of the most troubling people on Earth, so you’ve got to be careful what you say to them. They’re dedicated to the show in such a manner … (read more)

Posted: 28th, May 2013 | In: TV & Radio | Comment

Dear Artists: Michael Jackson’s chimp is making more money than you as a painter

EVERYONE knows how hard it is to make a living as an artist. Painters live on the breadline in moldy bedsits trying to make it in the cruel artworld.

And all … (read more)

Posted: 24th, May 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Argentinian football fan throws his teeth at players in disgust

IN England, fans show their  dissatisfaction by booing or throwing their season tickets at dug-outs. It is all rather quaint really. In the rest of the world, they really know … (read more)

Posted: 24th, May 2013 | In: Sports | Comment

Bus driver pranks kids in ace video!

HAIL to the bus driver, bus driver, bus driver… and so the song goes. Special hails should go to the driver who pranked the kids on his bus.

Students of a … (read more)

Posted: 24th, May 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

Builder survive 15 tonne building collapse (video)

WHEN a building collapses on you, you’ll probably think you’re a dead-man. Well, Jake Weir thought just that as he was demolishing one and it fell on him. All 15 … (read more)

Posted: 24th, May 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

No-one wants to buy Gandhi’s blood for pacifist clone army

HE may not have spilled any blood in his lifetime, but famous pacifist Mahatma Gandhi had his blood on sale this week at a rather peculiar auction.

With his blood, you … (read more)

Posted: 22nd, May 2013 | In: Reviews | Comment

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