Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Justin Bieber on his new autobiography and how he just wants a normal family life
Oh yes teen pop sensation JUSTIN BIEBER has been plugging a new autobiography and has told the NOTW
“When I was little I just longed for a normal life, with a normal family and there’s no way that’s ever going to happen now.” And he talked about standing up to bullies. “Unfortunately for the bullies, my dad was a former professional fighter who used to take me to his training sessions. I quickly got a reputation as someone not to be bullied.”
The News of the World also has a video of Bieber and comical English accent.
Posted: 7th, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Russell Brand In Gateshead: Photos
RUSSEL Brand is flogging his Booky Wook in Gateshead. He meets his No.1 fan…
Posted: 6th, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Chantelle Houghton And Sam Preston: Cash Conquers All
REMEMBER how the gathering of taffeta, vegetable dyes and Katie Price’s off-cuts called Chantelle Houghton was going to get back with Samuel Preston; how Sam was looking for “integrity”; and how they were both looking for love but maybe not with each other, not just now?
Well, heat magazine says what many have been saying all along: rubbish!
A “source” says:
“They spoke on the phone several times before they went back in. They discussed how much they would be paid, and when Chantelle found out Preston was getting £40,000 she went back to the Channel 4 producers and demanded the same.”
They then, reportedly, scored a £120,000 deal with glossy to tell their story.
All nonsense, right?
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Posted: 6th, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
N-Dubz And Tulisa Win Photoshop Award
CAN that be Tulisa, the singer of keepin’-it-real London band N-Dubz looking flawless on the promo stills for the group’s new single Best Behaviour in St Tropez?
What do you think?
Hunter S Thompson’s Letter To The Vancouver Sun Is Golden
WHEN HUNTER S. Thompson applied for a job at the Vancouver Sun, he wrote a letter. The Ottowa Citizen has published it. Here it is, via David Pescovitz:
Vancouver SunTO JACK SCOTT, VANCOUVER SUN
October 1, 1958 57 Perry Street New York City
Sir,
I got a hell of a kick reading the piece Time magazine did this week on The Sun. In addition to wishing you the best of luck, I’d also like to offer my services.
Since I haven’t seen a copy of the “new” Sun yet, I’ll have to make this a tentative offer. I stepped into a dung-hole the last time I took a job with a paper I didn’t know anything about (see enclosed clippings) and I’m not quite ready to go charging up another blind alley.
By the time you get this letter, I’ll have gotten hold of some of the recent issues of The Sun. Unless it looks totally worthless, I’ll let my offer stand. And don’t think that my arrogance is unintentional: it’s just that I’d rather offend you now than after I started working for you.
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Posted: 5th, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Marc Mysterio V Brandy On Dancing With The Stars: What Really Happened
MARC Mysterio, currently embroiled win a dispute with Dancing On The Stars pro/celebrity hoofer Brandy, recently inked an exclusive deal with Universal Canada via his company World Class Records (WCR). Each artist signing to WCR/UMC will be produced or executive produced by Marc Mysterio, whom will also run A&R.
“Universal’s backing in giving us the ability to sign and release any act we want. This speaks to DJ culture having arrived in North America,” says Marc Mysterio. “If we can sum up this partnership’s personality in one word, that would be ‘pro-active'”.
Exclusive: Evidence In Marc Mysterio Case Against Brandy Norwood
Of course, we can’t help but to mention Brandy – whom Anorak Pal Marc Mysterio is suing for alleged breach of contract for failing to provide the vocals she was paid $10,000 as per written contract as a side artist fee.
She could win the bozo the clown of the month award, but this time not for her dancing skills (or lack thereof) on Dancing With The Stars . The song in which she was originally set to appear in “Shout It Out” by Marc Mysterio, was just sent to radio last Monday and in its first week, bested Eminem to slot #2 on the New Airplay Chart for Top 40 Radio this past week across Canada.
Says Marc:
“The success of the song without the star power of a Brandy being featured on it shows not only how strong a record it is, but that her not being on the record is a loss that is tough to swallow. There is a lot of, what if she hadn’t screwed us over, where would this song be. I hope she thinks that this Dancing With The Stars fiasco was worth it. Past experience from reality shows (i.e. Samantha Fox on I’m A Celeb) tells me otherwise.
Unless you have a solid product that is already working, most of the post-reality show records underperform so if this was her hope to ditch us and use this bounce to re-launch her career solo, instead of doing it the right way as Kelly Rowland did with David Guetta, karma can be a bitch. But, let’s see. I’m focused on working with Universal and my other international partners on making ‘Shout It Out’ the biggest success possible as is, and let everything else take care of itself.”
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Mariah Carey’s Massive Pussy Photoshop In Saudi Arabia: Photos
SAUDI Arabia’s 
Photoshop Council Of Faith and Morals has altered Mariah Carey’s album covers to make them less sexy. The backside is covered in pantaloons; the top is no longer halter neck but a polo shirt; the pussy is massive and furry…
Thankfully, truth outs and Mariah’s skin remains as flawless as Mother Teresa’s conscience and her arms tighter than a Jonas brother backstory…
Originally published September 2 2010 – spotter: Artsyspot, Media bum
Angelina Jolie: Shiloh’s Warning To Brownies And Budapest Is Gagged
ANGELINA Jolie and Brad Pitt’s range of children are enrolled at a school in Budapest, where Jolie is directing a Bosnian love story (Irma Nici is available for the lead role).
The story goes that Jolie invited all the schools’ parents and teachers to sign confidentiality agreements vowing that they will not talk to the press.
If they do talk their puppies will tossed live into a river. No, only joking. They will be fined money and if they persist is talking their child may be suspended from the school. Us magazine fails to says what would happen to anyone failing to sign the agreement nor if it is standard issue at what must be a private school.
Is it The American International School of Budapest, which “prepares its students to be responsible global citizens”?
We don’t know what would happen if the parents declined to sign. But before you think Jolie a control freak who ships her kids around the world like missionaries to her Church of Me, get a load of the National Enquirer’s front-page headline:
“JEALOUS of SHILOH”
“Is Jolie HARMING her 4-year-old daughter?”
Nice journalism, there. Dr Lillian Glass says Shiloh might have a few issues when she grows up because she dresses in shorts and jumpers, what Jolie call “Montenegro style”.
Can a child be harmed by wearing brown shorts and tops, as Shiloh is pictured wearing? And, if so, are the Scouts and Brownies creating a legion of therapy victims?
Discuss.
Posted: 5th, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Rumor Fix Rivals Gossip For Most Useless Celebrity Website Award
A GOSSIP Cop website by Any Other Name Would be… an even dumber idea than the original Gossip Cop. This one is called Rumor Fix, writes Rumor Rat.
But when your the scion of that bucket o’ cash known as Dr. Phil McGraw, who cares that the original was a dumb-ass idea… and a knockoff will likely be even less appealing.
Day after day, the guys at Gossip Cop are sniffing out “the facts” behind all those other websites’ questionable headlines. Those men in blue go out on a limb and swim against the tabloid tide to tell you, the reader, the real story.
How do they do it? They employ a secret weapon known as the “celebrity publicist.”
Whenever Radar, or Hollyscoop or Hollywood Life posts a negative item about any star, Gossip Cop goes into action. They call the star’s P.R. person — the person who’s paid to keep their celebrity image as pure as the driven snow — to quickly get to the truthiness behind all those nasty old tabloid headlines.
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Posted: 5th, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Sex Film Star Norman Wisdom Is Dead Again – Anyone Seen Lee Evans?
NORMAN Wisdom is dead. But Sky News viewers know he already died on 28 December 2008.
Someone go and see if Lee Evans is alright, would you..!
Wisdom was the actor who once starred in the British sexy comedy What’s Good For The Goose. You can read more about these films in Get ‘Em Off! The Nostalgia-Proof British Sex Comedy.
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Note: Sky apologised for running the obit early.
Posted: 5th, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Nick Jonas Snuggles Up For Les Miserables 25th Party: Photos
NICK Jonas, the go in alone Jonas Brother, and Cameron Mackintosh joined the gang for the after party of the Les Miserables’ 25th Anniversary performance at the O2 in London. The photos and the kisses and hugs:
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Posted: 5th, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jessica Alba – In The Best Possible Taste
ACTRESS of the Day is Jessica Alba, she who told us: “My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything – even if you have no clue what you’re doing.”
It’s a theory. But can you pull it off in the best possible taste?
Posted: 5th, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Twitter Wars: Ready For A Warts And All Book On Donny & Marie Osmond?
DANNY Gans’ former manager Chip Lightman has declared war on Donny and Marie Osmond, filing a lawsuit against them and threatening to reveal the secrets of the Mormon siblings in a “tell all book.”
Lightman struck out on his Twitter account in response to the Osmonds’ announcement that they were bouncing him from his role as producer of their show at the Flamingo Hilton.
Medics Remove Donny Osmond Poster From Woman’s Vagina
Gans and his longtime friend and sidekick Lightman brought the show to the Flamingo two years ago under their Ganslight banner. The Osmonds said on September 25th that the Ganslight contract expired last week and that “we have decided not to renew that contract.
“The show will of course continue… and we hope to explore future opportunities with Chip Lightman.”
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Posted: 4th, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Kelis Rocks The Shepherd’s Bush Empire In Miss Havisham Bukake: In Photos
AFTER Rihanna brought her rainbow to London, Kelis arrived to perform live in concert at the Shepherd’s Bush Empire in West London. Kelis dressed as Buck Rogers in a Miss Havisham bukake contest. And the crowd loved it…
Rihanna Turns Up The Contrast In London: Photos
WHEN Rihanna visited James Barr at Capital FM in London, we took photos and Barr looked like the dateless geek who’d discovered that robots can be warm to the touch.
Posted: 1st, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
X Factor Photos: Cheryl Cole’s Book Signing And Sharon Osbourne’s Mosquito Issues
CHERYL Cole was writing her name in her new book ‘Through my eyes‘ at Waterstone’s in London. Because Cheryl is one given to crying the book is best read through goggles underwater.
As the fans waited outside in the rain – 300 silver wristbands have been given out with a further 100 gold wristbands given to the next 100 in reserve – pixie-voiced Sharon Osborne was bigging up the X Factor by picking on another of its judges, Dannii Minogue.
“I didn’t hate her because hatred is very close to love and takes a lot of emotion, and I don’t have time for her. She is like an insect – a mosquito that won’t go away.”
A mosquito! Like the one that bit Our Cheryl and gave her malaria!! Sharon, you have gone too, too, far…
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Posted: 1st, October 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
P Diddy’s Diddy-Dirty Money In Glasgow In Photos
P DIDDY, that renegade Diddy Man, was performing at MTV’s Diddy-Dirty Money’s first gig in the UK in a show called ‘Diddy Crashes Glasgow’. MTV cameras followed Diddy-Dirty Money in the run up to their monster MTV Crashes Glasgow gig at The Old Fruitmarket. A Fruit Market in Glasgow? Well, it did go bust.
And note: P Diddy had not one but two crosses about his neck. Did Jesus do that? Well, did he?
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Posted: 30th, September 2010 | In: Music | Comments (3)
Jodie Marsh Shows Off Her Missionary Tramp Stamp: Photos
JODIE Marsh cocks two phones and with Phil Tufnell and Patrick Monahan attempts to set a world record for the longest three-way phone call.
She does this while kneeling on a bed and displaying a tattoo of what appears to be a set of handlebars over her crotch – a missionary position tramp stamp – so adding to the impression that passers by at Waterloo station have stumbled across a live party wank.
Greatest Tattooed Mugshots Ever
It’s 09800LongRelief, an attempt to see how long you can keep going with Jodie Marsh on the other end of the blower. Thankfully Jodie’s voice is a registered contraceptive device and the only stopping the record being smashed is Tuffers pressing the off button as he slams the phone into his forehead….
Tattoos – Tramp Stamps 2
Tattoos – On Your Arse
Tattoos – The Tramp Stamp
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Posted: 30th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Larissa Riquelme’s New Face
NO sooner do we bring you news of the new Larissa Riquelme – Carla Giraldo – than Pies discovers that the Paraguayan wonder (that’s Larissa) has had cosmetic surgery. No. Not her breasts. Her face.
Larissa Riquelme Is Paraguay’s Number 1 Fan: World Cup Photos (NSFW)
Posted: 30th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Tony Curtis RIP: A Life In Photos
TONY Curtis RIP. You were Jamie’s dad with hair like a duck’s arse. Born Bernard Schwartz to immigrant parents in New York, Curtis became a true star. Curtis was married six times – “I wouldn’t be caught dead marrying a woman young enough to be my wife.”
His close friends got to call him TC:
“I’ve been sick for most of my life, in my head. This showed itself in a lot of ways. I was insecure about women, so I wanted to go to bed with them all. I was insecure about being a poor Jewish boy. I was insecure that Hollywood never gave me an Oscar.”
How he started:
“All my life I had one dream, and that was to be in the movies. Maybe it was because I had a pretty rough childhood, or perhaps it was because I was always more than a little insecure, but as a kid I longed to see myself ten feet tall on the big screen. Through no fault of my teachers, I received almost no formal education, but after I spent three years in the Navy during World War II, the GI Bill allowed me to go to acting school on the government’s nickel. I may not have had much schooling, but it turned out I had a gift for acting. When I walked out on that stage, it felt like a hand in a velvet glove. I wasn’t scared; I wasn’t even nervous. I just loved being the center of attention, just like I’d always known I would.
Tony Curtis – do they make them like him any more? Do the agents and PRs allow it..?
Posted: 30th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Madonna Touched For Dolce & Gabbana: The Bloody Pre-Photoshop Photos
MORE photos of Madonna untouched for the Dolce & Gabbana adverts have appeared online. Madonna fans may be shocked and dismayed to see that computer wizards have lightened her skin, fattened her nose and drawn thick veins on her flawless arms. Yeah, the actually wants us to believe Madonna has blood in her veins. Can you trust your own eyes anymore – let alone Madonna’s which look cracked and tired..?
Madonna’s Untouched Face For Louis Vuitton: Photos
Madonna Pays Homage To Susan Boyle’s Cat In Dolce And Gabbana Ads: Pictures
Spotter: Yeaaah, Stylebrity
Posted: 30th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (7)
Preston And Chantelle: It’s Over When OK! Says It Is
PRESTON and Chantelle Houghton: The most connived, contrived and made-for-tabloid love story in the history of connived love stories is now at an end. You can read the non-story so far here.
And in today’s OK! instalment you can hear:
Sam Preston: “It would be ridiculous to get back with her.”
Chantelle Preston Houghton: “He’s left me gutted and heart broken.”
What you might call empty.
Inside and Chantelle hugs her mum and says she still loves Preston; and Preston wonders why Chantelle doesn’t just call his instead of talking to OK! about calling him.
Says Preston in OK!…
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Posted: 29th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Justin Bieber Love Doll, Tampon And Towel: Pictures
THE Justin Bieber love doll can play 30-second clips of his songs and fit into your handbag. It can keep a table leg from wobbling, soak up menstrual angst and replace the Little, Jimmy Osmond Doll of your youth.
And I you want to snuggle with Bieber Doll why not do so in the confort of yout Beiber bed or bath. Bieber is now a towel and duvet cover. As Home Textiles Today says:
” Martin Novack, Lady Sandra’s ceo, told HTT the line targets Bieber’s broad fan base – which spans girls as young as 6 through college age as well as their mothers. My own daughter is 18 years old, and she and a ton of her friends love Justin Bieber,” Novack said. “We feel Justin Bieber is a real phenomenon. He is not just a license. He isn’t just some young pop star. He is a rare phenomenon.”
And so absorbent…
Here’s a selection of Bizarre Celebrity Dolls – look at them all and be amazed.
Posted: 29th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Myleene Klass And The Married Hollywood Sex Pest
MYLEENE Klass says a top Hollywood star who was married not much over six months ago asked her for a shag. Indeed, he went further and presented her with a sex contract.
Myleene is turning into a one-woman content factory. She delivers tabloid titbits like a Daily Star reporter – light on facts but big on the possibility that there might be some.
Here’s Myleene:
Says Klass:
“About six months ago, a newly married Hollywood star asked me to sign some kind of sex contract with him. I just thought: “Mate, which planet are you from?
“I met him a few times and when I went to interview him it was like something out of a film.
“We were having lunch and as the starter arrived he launched into it. I was like: ‘Bugger I’ve got main and dessert to go – I’m stuck here!’
“Then his PA came over with a confidentiality contract. I just thought: ‘Oh my God, your poor wife.’ I don’t want to be a marriage wrecker.”
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Posted: 28th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Rolling Stone Wife Jo Wood Is Beyond Parody On Her Indian Pilgrimage
JO Wood, estranged wife of Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood is on a “pilgrimage” across India. She’s keeping her diary in Hello!. It is beyond parody.
Having flown to India and then taken a connecting flight to Coimbatore, Jo writes:
“There are dogs and cows in the road, and crazy driving. I’ve arrived.”
She has not arrived at her journey’s end, rather Jo has rocked up to her ashram.
Jo heads to a “tree graveyard”. She is saluting Project Greenhands, which raises awareness for environmental issues.
Says Jo of the jet plane:
“I plant a little tree. It’s good to know I’ve given a plant life.”
Then a vignette that stands repeating. Green Jo is now in a car:
“…we pass a little old lady whose bent double as she shuffles along the road. Her flip-flops are worn through so I take off mine and give them to her. Her face lights up. It’s puts life into perspective for me. A pair of flip-flops means nothing to me, but to her they mean everything.”
Although a lift would be nice.
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Posted: 28th, September 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
