Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Cheryl Cole’s Cold Sore In Pictures And A Secret Sex Text Revealed
BY now you’ll be wondering what Cheryl Cole has been up to since the X Factor ended. How’s Ashley? How are the rings? In the Danish version of the X-Factor in Copenhagen, Denmark, Cheryl made an appearance.
Well, the NoTW can revels that Cheryl has a cold sore. Soon everyone will have one and cold sores will make the bid for international recognition the cold sore community has been waiting for.
Ashley Cole, oddly, given the contagious nature of the sores, has clean lips. It’s pretty clear that Ashley is holding Brand Cheryl back and should be ditched.
In other news, Anorak has received this text message from a mysterious unregistered phone (via reader Michael Kritharis):
“Babe, I’ve finally left that ****** Ashley and I’m on my way round to you big boy and I’m horny as ****. (Carlsberg don’t do text messages but if they did… You’d be the last **** she would send that to…)
Posted: 7th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
In Pictures: Peter Andre’s 02 Gig Shows Katie Price’s Kids What Good Clean Fun Looks Like
NO sooner have we posted one story on sentimental Peter Andre being critical of Katie Price, then another lands in our laps. Peter Andre has been performing on stage at IndigO2 in Greenwich, London. Peter’s kidzzz may care to turn their eyes away from mum’s “terrible” behaviour and study these image of dad experiencing the dancers on his wholesome family show. Picture 2 is a classic. One for the family album – and the proctologist. Enjoy:
Posted: 7th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Dignified Peter Andre Calls Junior’s Mum Katie Price A ‘Terrible Person’
THE 12th Rule of Tabloid Journalism dictates that any news story making mention of Katie Price (aka Jordan) must make mention of Peter Andre. So, beneath the tale that Katie’s marriage to walking Toffee Crisp Alex Reid might not be legal, NoTW readers hear of Dignified Pete’s lastest upset.
PETER ANDRE launched a furious attack on Jordan after she told their four-year-old son to call him a LIAR in a phone chat.
In Pictures: Peter Andre’s 02 Gig Shows Katie Price’s Kids What Good Clean Fun Looks Like
And we know this because?
She used Junior to attack the singer for sleeping with glamour girl Maddy Ford despite saying he stayed celibate after his divorce.
Junior was always going to have a speaking part in the panto. If Princess’s face can be tamed, she and Junior can be the new Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz in the I Love Daddy (Best) show.
Princess is the one with the fake eyelashes – you, know, like Maddy Ford.
Junior was speaking to Peter, pictured with him right, when mum-of-the-year nominee Jordan screamed: “Tell your dad he is a liar. Daddy’s got a new girlfriend.”
The child, clearly upset, then told Peter, 37, that his mum had showed him articles detailing his brief fling with Maddy. He asked: “Do you have a new girlfriend, Daddy? Mummy’s telling me to yell at you.”
Well, Peter do you? C’mon Peter. Well, no. Maddy Ford is not Peter’s girlfriend. She claims she was more of a sexual plaything. But – easy, Junior, there, there – aunty Maddy says she still fancies the pants off daddy, the role model she claims to have met and shagged in November 2009.
All the talks of sex with paper Pete is so ugly. Right Pete?
As the Metro reported in February 2010:
Peter Andre: “I haven’t had sex for 8 months – Desperate Peter Andre hasn’t had sex since he split from Katie Price – eight months ago.”
And as Sky reported on Feb 1, 2010:
Speaking to The News Of The World, he said: “OK, OK, I’m desperate for sex. It’s been a long time. But it’s a whole new ball game. I’m a different man, I want a different type of girl. I’m definitely cautious about women now.
“It’s going to take me a long time to trust someone. I haven’t done anything yet apart from think about it, but I don’t want to be a monk.”
Anyhow, Pete is above getting involved in such undignified stuff. As the tabloid reports:
Afterwards, angry Peter hit back saying: “What a terrible thing for a mother to do. Stop trying to pollute our children’s minds. You’re a terrible, terrible person.”
You know, kids, the one dad has, reportedly, called despicable and disgusting.
So says Dignified Peter on Peter’s ITV2 reality show, Peter Andre: Beyond Irony.
In Pictures: Peter Andre’s 02 Gig Shows Katie Price’s Kids What Good Clean Fun Looks Like
Katie Price career in pictures.
Me And My Chest: Peter Andre’s Career in Pictures
Posted: 7th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Katie Price And Alex Reid Can Marry Again As Rev Mose Henney Questioned
KATIE Price’s wedding to Alex Reid is not legal, it’s claimed. “Experts” claim that the presiding minister, the Rev Mose Henney, is not registered to marry couples in Las Vegas after being “forced to resign in disgrace over a sex scandal”.
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
Henney used to be a messenger of God at the Lamb of God Church, for the St Andrew’s Lutheran church in Wisconsin. There is talk of his partaking in “inappropriate sexual contact, including sexual intercourse, with three adult women“.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 7th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Mariah Carey’s Top Lip Presents The 25th Independent Spirit Awards In Pictures
MARIAH Carey worked the blue carpet at the 25th Film Independent Spirit Awards Held at Nokia Theatre L.A. Who dresses Carey? It’s the kind of debate that can plug the seconds between awards dos that surround the Oscars. And do you recognise her without her award-winning moustache?
8473040
The blue carpet is so very Avatar, that self-imporant moralising film starring the big tree, the most famous hunk of wood to appear on screen since Kevin Coster drowned the planet.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 6th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Lily Allen Does MEN With Dizzee Rascal: In Pictures
DIZZEE Rascal had another go at saving the British music industry from Simon Cowell’s pap factory at The Manchester Evening News Arena, in Manchester. Also there was celebrity pop mouth Lily Allen, the reformed Luddite fresh from reassembling her computer and Tweeting that Courtney Lover is an old crone:
“She’s upset because she has got it into her head that i put a lock on some dresses for the brit awards. She’s made no secret of this and, when i saw her at the NME’s she tried to talk to me and i told her to shut up and stop spreading stupid rumours about me.”
Adding:
“And thats pretty much it. I would never fight with her, as a rule I don’t pick on crazy old ladies.”
So she ended it there. Until she didn’t:
it’s the sort of thing a paranoid drug addled lunatic might come up with.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 6th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Katie Price In Hollywood Oscars Film: The Veruca Salt Biopic
KATIE Price is in Los Angeles with Mr Toffee Crisp Alex Reid. The Oscars are due to start. And the Daily Star’s crack team of story experts create the front-page headline:
JORDAN: THE MOVIE.
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
Look out for other exclusives, such as when Katie Price is in London at the same time as the Brits:
KATIE PRICE: THE SONG
In Florida as a spaceship is launched:
KATIE PRICE: THE MOTION SICKNESS
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 6th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Lindsay Lohan’s Front Shades Jared Leto Dior Paris: Pictures
LINDSAY Lohan and Jared Leto were at the Dior show in Paris. Leto wore sunglasses indoors – which means he’s either that woman who plays the fruit machines in the hotel lobby, or trying not to be recognised amid all the people not wearing sunglasses indoors. Lindsay Lohan pushed her cleavage into a front Marie Antoinette would have considered pushy. You remember her – the one who got off her head. No, not Lohan. Well, not only her… Also there were Charlize Theron, Dolores Chaplin, Estelle Lefebure and the unsmiling Leigh Lezard…
8471266
Posted: 5th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
In Photos: Jennifer Lopez Stars In The Back Up Plan
JENNIFER Lopez did something odd at the Grey Goose RAAD pre-Oscars bash at Soho House in Los Angeles last night – she failed to tell anyone what make of dress she was wearing because she forgot to ask her stylist who designed it. While the designer fires their PR, we get to see Jennifer in The Back-up Plan, in which a woman conceives twins through artificial insemination, only to meet the man of her dreams on the very same day. In real life, J-Lo had twins and married Marc Anthony…
8468845
Posted: 5th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cross-Dressing Shiloh Pitt Is The Anti-Suri Crusie
WITH Angelina and Brad Pitt out of bounds, Life & Style magazine looked on Shiloh Pitt and wonder if she was turning into a cross-dresser. Shiloh is three. She is no Suri Cruise in mini-heels (hear her voice and obey). Shiloh is the anti-Suri.
Alan Kelen opined:
“Shiloh is pushing the boundaries of a tomboy look and crossing over to cross-dresser territory”
While we all stare and wonder if Shiloh is dressing to the right or left, Kelen experienced sleepless nights. Shiloh had worn brown in town. Shiloh was wearing creases in her jeans. Kelen wok up with the sweats and wrote an email:
Angelina Jolie Pictures (NSFW)
Hi Dodai,
I just wanted to write you a personal note regarding your post on Jezebel.
I have lost sleep these past 2 nights due to the horrible thoughts and comments they included and attributed to me in this particular story for Life & Style, as they were taken completely out of context. They use me often for style quotes, so I had no idea they would twist my words, and they always contact me for final approval, which they did not do this time around.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 5th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Mickey Rourke Gives Ashley Cole Lessons In Sex
MICKEY Rourke, he of the Croydon facelift, has never played for Ashley Cole’s Chelsea FC, but when the film comes to be made of John Terry’s life, he is a shoo-in for the part of the former England skipper.
True enough, that Kerry Dixon’s biopic was the one we had Rourke down for too, but news is that the actor has shagged 14 British women in one night, so he’s in.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 5th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (3)
Jessica Alba, Joel Madden And Nicole Scherzinger Light Up Global Green Pre-Oscar Party: In Pictures
JESSICA Alba, Joel Madden, his brother Benji Madden, Lady Victoria Hervey, electronic artist, James Cameron, Serena Williams, Cash Warren, Nicole Scherzinger and someone who used to be Donnie Wahlberg all arrived by plane and car – but not train nor foot – to the Global Green USA 7th Annual Pre-Oscar Party themed ‘Greener Cities for a cooler Planet‘ at Avalon in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California. Keep it real, people… PA: It was raining:
8466814
Also there doing there bit for the planet by attesting a fancy party were Mia Maestro, Suzy Amis, Serena Williams, Judy Greer, Nia Vardalos, Mel B and husband Stephen Belafonte, Slash, Perla Ferrar, Q’Orianka Kilcher, Radha Mitchell and Carter Jenkins. The toilet paper was – we are assured – recycled and shiny…
Posted: 5th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)
Camilla Meets Queen At Bookies: Photos
THE Duchess of Cornwall marked World Book Day by attending a Mad Hatter’s Tea Party at Foyles, Westfield in London. All the family were there…
Posted: 4th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Ernie Wise Statue Has Short Hairy Legs
THE statue of comedian Ernie Wise, one half of the much loved Morecombe & Wise double act, which was unveiled in Morley near Leeds earlier today. The statue has realistic short, hairy legs. And what looks to be a stump…
Posted: 4th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Sex Tape Actors Eric Dane And Rebecca Gayheart To Give Baby Really Great Name
AFTER the non-sex sex tape, actor Eric Dane (Dr. McSteamy) and actress wife Rebecca Gayheart (aka Mrs Steamed Up) just says hello to baby girl at LA’s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.
Sex Tape: Eric Dane, Gayheart, Peniche (NSFW)
No baby names yet, but the story has already introduced us to a roommate called Mindy McCready a lawyer by the name of Marty Singer and the wonderful threesome makeweight – get this – Kari Ann Peniche (pronounced penis-h).
Gayheart is thought to be delighted…
Sex tape video – pics NSFW
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Crystal Bowersox Presents American Idol Final 10 Women Backstage Photos
THE Top 10 Women sang on American Idol and Crystal Bowersox was the winner by a mile. Her version of ‘As Long As I Can See The Light’ by Creedence Clearwater Revival included her holding guitar. This means she is musician, much like last year’s winner Kris Allen. If she wins, they can do an album of duelling guitars. The event in backstage and on stage photos:
8465189
Posted: 4th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Farrah Fawcett’s Cancer Show 2: Getting Redmond O’Neal
CONTROVERSIAL Hollywood actor and father Ryan O’Neal is being restricted from visiting his and Farrah Fawcett’s son Redmond in drug rehab, while the young drug addict has been banned from any more home visits that could impede his recovery, writes Tabloid Baby.
The young ginger O’Neal left his one-year program at the Impact residential drug treatment center today for a courtroom progress report in Los Angeles and to hear Judge Michael Tynan tell him:
“You were faking it the last time you were at Impact. You weren’t sincere. You have to take a hard look at your life.
“Right now, pal, you are still in trouble. I’m going to ask Impact to eliminate any home visits, you agree with that Mr O’Neal?”
Redmond replied: “Yes your honor.”
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Johnny Depp And Angelina Jolie Film The Tourist: In Pictures
JOHNNY Deep arrives at the Pisani Moretti Palace, the headquarters of internal shooting, on the third day of filming the new movie ‘The Tourist‘. We’ve seen the Angelina Jolie kiss. And we’ve seen Depp. So why the secrecy? Is he with public enemy No.1 – Ashley Cole?
8465128
Posted: 4th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
News Of The World’s Children’s Champions Awards With Sharon Osbourne’s Inspiration
SHARON Osbourne was at Grosvenor House, Park Lane, London, for the News of the World’s Children’s Champions awards:
“The News of the World has joined with The Post Office and Barnardo’s to honour the people YOU think have done a brilliant, unsung job for children – maybe for your own children – over the past 12 months.”
So who better than Sharon Osbourne to rock up:
* In her autobiography, Fierce, Kelly writes, “I started dating a guy when I was 14 but he dumped me in front of everyone, saying I was fat. Next day, Mum turned up at school, marched over to him and said: ‘If you don’t stop saying nasty lies about my daughter, I’m going to chop your d**k off and shove it down your throat.’ No guy at school said horrible things after that.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Ashley Cole And Cheryl Cole Reunite In Pictures
ASHLEY Cole and Cheryl Cole are “BACK TOGETHER”.
The Star leads with front-page shot of the couple hand-in-hand in a car. Both are beaming with happiness. And who can we thank?
CHELSEA owner Roman Abramovich has turned Cupid to help Ashley Cole and Cheryl Tweedy patch up their marriage.
This is the same Abramovich who divorced his wife and now dates a younger mo-del?
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 4th, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
In Pictures: Scouting For Girls At The Hard Rock Cafe
WE went to see Roy Stride of Scouting for Girls performs at the Hard Rock Cafe, London. We got pictures. Loverly pictures…
8463310
Posted: 3rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Angelina Jolie Sends Secret Message To Jennifer Aniston Via Shiloh’s Boy Haircut
IN the post-legal world of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, there is no talk of them splitting up. That narrative died when they instructed libel lawyers Schillings to take on the NoTW.
Angelina Jolie Pictures (NSFW)
The new way to talk about Brangelina is for the National Enquirer to heap praise on them or to do as Life & Style does and focus on the Brangios, the couple’s children.
Last week, Life & Style said that finally the “TWINS ARE OUT OF HIDING”.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 3rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (13)
Jodie Kidd Evokes Memories Of Empire With Twenty20 World Polo Series Polo
JODIE Kidd and her brother Jack Kidd unveiled the latest developments in the new Twenty20 World Polo Series Polo in the park at London’s Hurlingham Club. And in the process posed for a photo that Old Mr Anorak, our patron, said rekindled thoughts of the halcyon days of British Empire. All good intentions on the Kidds’ part, we are certain. But that picture is the kind of dreadful photo-op the Tories are so good at. Polo for everyone! Huwwah!! Now when I reach the count of 20, start running… Tally ho-ho-ho…
Posted: 3rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
The Sugababes Want To Trademark Sugababes And Stop Sugababes Being Sugababes
THE Sugababes are upset by the Sugababes and wish to trademark their name in the European Trademarks Authority and own the word “Sugababes”.
The New Sugababes – to be called The SugaBabes are Heidi Range, Amelle Berrabah and Jade Ewen. The Old Sugabes are Siobhán Donaghy, Mutya Buena and Keisha Buchanan.
The old Sugababes like the name so much they want to keep it and may be stick it on drinks, fake lashes and cutting-edge range of armpit tattoos.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted: 3rd, March 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jennifer Ellison Introduces 92-Hour Brookside Cliff Hanger And Baby Bobby
“THE last time OK! photographed a heavily pregnant Jennifer Ellison it was big drama as he made an emergency hospital dash after she keeled over and began violently vomiting midway through the photo-shoot.”
It turns out Jennifer hadn’t over-syruped (a condition hitherto known to affect OK! readers) but had been food poisoned.
Soon recovered, OK! meets Ellison again, this time after a 92-hour labour – fitting, perhaps, for a girl who used to entertain us on the Brookside omnibus. Here’s Jen:
“The baby’s head got stuck in my pelvis, the pain as excruciating. I was given a shot of diamorphine, but it did nothing. I was in so much pain my body started to shut down.”
Read the rest of this entry »
