Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Cheryl Cole Linked To Zac Efron At Simon Cowell’s Wedding
CHERYL Cole and Ashley’s divorce: If there is one thing Cheryl needs it is more advice. And the Sunday Mirror leads with news that Simon Cowell does not want the “nation’s sweetheart” to honour her marriage vows and stay with her husband.
What with the Cheryl Tweedy assault on the US planned, the huge showbiz OK!-featured fairytale divorce due ready to hit the newsagent’s shelves and Cowell looking to trim numbers and sort out table seating plans for his forthcoming wedding, the advice is from the heart.
Simon told her, You need to get out of this situation. You need to think of yourself.
Listen to Simon. Sssssssimon knows. Trussssst in him.
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Posted: 28th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Mo’Nique And Gabourey Sidibe Present The NAACP Awards In Pictures
LEE Daniels, Mo’Nique, Gabourey Sidibe and Paula Patton won the NAACP award for Outstanding Motion Picture for “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”. It’s the 41st NAACP Image Awards at the Shrine Auditorium. LA. Toni Braxton, Keri Hilson, Chris Rock Demetria McKinney, Roger M. Bobb, Alvin “Xzibit” Joiner, Lance Gross, Keke Palmer, Erica Campbell, Keshia Knight Pulliam were all there to watch people get statues of an arthritic silver surfer being squashed by a falling glitter ball:
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Posted: 27th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Ozzy Osbourne Bites The City of West Palm Beach: Pictures
OZZY Osbourne managed to plug his book – the aide de memoire I Am Ozzy (in case he forgets) – as he received the key to the City of West Palm Beach, from Mayor Lois Frankel, at Centennial Square in West Palm Beach. Ozzy bit the key, possibly thinking it was a bat’s head – and what about that bat blood as an anti-ageing gum: Ozzy’s face is making Sharon Osbourne’s face look like the surface of the moon. Ozzy then gave the yet more dignity by getting the mayor to pose with his book. Ozzy’s career in pictures:
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Posted: 27th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Jade Goody Returns In Song As Jack Goody Is Spotted At The Grave
JADE Goody is back. Manning Jade Goody’s grave cam has been proper yakka for the Sun’s team. But they’ve put in the hards yards, got a few pictures of flowers growing, and then Jade Tweed arrived. The Sun’s Grave Twitchers, hidden within a tree, write in a soft-nibbed pencil:
On a tree by a river a little tom-tit
Sang “Willow, titwillow, titwillow!”
EMOTIONAL Jack Tweed places fresh flowers at wife Jade Goody’s grave after being freed from prison yesterday – and then tells how he is struggling without her.
It’s the greater spotted Jack Tweed.
The grieving 22-year-old told a friend: “While I was inside I couldn’t wait to get home – but there will be a big gap without Jade.”
It pays to watch a grave. Jade Goody is there to entertain. And we feel a song coming on:
And I said to him, “Dicky-bird, why do you sit
Singing Willow, titwillow, titwillow’?”
“Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?” I cried,
“Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?”
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Posted: 27th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Join The Campaign To Get Cheryl Cole To Sell Her Wedding Rings For Haiti
CHERLY Cole and Ashley are big news. But can they do it for Haiti? Haiti is a subject close to Cheryl’s big heart.
X Factor judge Cheryl took a moment to think of the earthquake’s millions of victims before taking to the singing booth to lay down her part of the REM tune”.
Time, then, to hear from Madame Arcati, and what she think Cheryl should do now that she and Ashley have split. The words are NFW. The sentiment for from the heart:
Look, I’ll be honest with you. I couldn’t give a fuck about your marriage split. That’s your business. You’re both very rich, very famous, very spoilt people. You are both decadent. Cheryl, your engagement ring alone cost £100,000 – and bought from the proceeds of a legal settlement with the lying News of the World. Don’t deny it: you all but admitted it to Piers Morgan in GQ.
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Posted: 27th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Haiti Gives Naomi Campbell’s T-Shirts, X Factor Hits And Lohan’s Leggings As Celebs Move On To Chile
ANGELINA Jolie was in Haiti, looking at the children. (Got anything to go with these?) Kris Allen is in Haiti reprising the role of Jill Whelan in Airplane. Alexandra Burke is taking her X Factor impression of Sol Campbell in Dutch karaoke club to Haiti. And Lindsay Lohan is selling leggings for Haiti. And Joe McElderry finally has his number one, for Haiti.
Haiti is hot, right now in showbiz circles. In other news, Naomi Campbell has organised a fashion show and worked a ‘pop-up shop’ selling Fashion for Relief t-shirts designed by Dame Vivienne Westwood.
Disaster relief aide used to be the work of dowagers and politicians. Were a politician to advise us to buy T-shirts to help Haiti – and not the branded ones made by the locals in sweat shops before the earthquake – would the media react with praise?
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Posted: 27th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Cheryl Cole Gives Ashley Another Chance As John Terry Shakes
CHERYL and Ashley Cole: The Daily Express leads with news that asks readers to wonder and debate:
Cheryl and Ashley: can the mum’s fix it?
This would be Cheryl’s mum, Joan Callaghan, of whom the Mirror told us:
Ashley Cole’s furious mum-in-law yesterday began packing his bags to kick him out of his marital home – as his pals claimed Cheryl may give him one last chance.
Cheryl’s mum doesn’t sound too keen. What of Ashley’s Cole’s mum – yes, he does have one. ashley’s mum is called… Sue. The rules of nominative determinism dictate that Sue must be treated kindly.
Chenille Steel: ‘Kisses’ Ashley Cole ‘Might Have John Terry’s Baby’
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Posted: 26th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Sharon Osbourne Hates Dad Animals Louis Vuitton Loves Dead Animals Botox
PIXIE-voiced Sharon Osbourne – the Joselyn Wildenstein in the making – tells her Twitter followers not to buy Louis Vuitton’s handbag accessories because they’re “heinous.”
“Louis Vuitton foxtail handbag accessories make me sick. Please do not purchase those! It’s heinous.”
Foxtails on a moped aerial is cool. But on bag is so vulgar.
Peta, the voice of dumb animals says:
“As designers flaunted fur during Fashion Week in New York, and the usual suspects are expected to be as vulgar in Milan and Paris, we’re pleased Sharon is using her voice to denounce the cruelty.”
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Posted: 26th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Angelina Jolie Kisses ‘Tourist’, Brad Pitt And Jennifer Aniston Elsewhere: In Pictures
WANT to see pictures of Angelina Jolie kissing man other than Brad Pitt? Before Jolie and Pitt decided to sue the News of The World for stating that they had split up, stories about Brangelina were daily and lurid. Anorak is still awaiting the forensic report on those black rubber sheets and sex toys the National Enquirer reported on from Jolie’s hotel room. So. Do you want to see Jolie kissing a man other than Brad? Can you handle it?Can Jennider Aniston cope?
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Posted: 26th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (13)
Court Rules Cheryl Cole’s Songs Are ‘Antisocial’
CHERYL Cole is to be rebranded as Chelsy Tweedy in time for her crack at cracking America. (Why does America always need to be “cracked”? And can it be done by thighs alone – video?) Meanwhile, in Mansfield’s Ladybrook Lane, 22-year-old Martin Bramwell has been evicted from his council flat for playing Cheryl Cole records.
Cheryl Cole And Ashley’s Marriage – pictures
Councillor Danny McCrossan, offers:
“Justice has been done. No one should have to face this type of anti-social behaviour.”
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Posted: 26th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
American Idol 9 Backstage Pictures: Kris Allen Joins Search For Next Disaster Aide
AMERICAN Idol season 9 is a contest to find winner to help the show survive the loss of Simon Cowell. It’s not looking good. It’s sounding worse. Janell Wheeler, Ashley Rodriguez, Joe Munoz and Tyler Grady are available for the X Factor. On the show Kris Allen popped up to tell us about his trip to Haiti in which he played guitar and evoked memories of that Jill Whelan scene in Airplane. We went backstage and took pictures of tomorrow’s air drop:
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Posted: 26th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (3)
Cheryl Cole Loses 5 Pounds On The Ashley Cole Free Diet: Nation Delights
CHERYL Cole is disappearing. We talk not of the ink on the back of her neck – have you checked your necks girl for sings of Ashley’s coitus-enhancing felt tip (allegedly). We talk of Cheryl Tweedy’s vanishing act as she lives on a diet of mint tea.
The Sun says Cheryl has “barely eaten for three weeks and has lost 5lbs”.
Any danger of Ashley not getting a shag after his divorce from “nation’s sweetheart” Cheryl seems far-fetched. Shag Ashley and lose weight. They will flocks in their hundreds.
Cheryl Cole And Ashley’s Marriage – pictures
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Posted: 26th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Thunder Turds Are Go At The 12th Annual Costume Designers Guild Awards: In Pictures
AT the 12th Annual Costume Designers Guild Awards, held in the Beverly Hilton Hotel, Beverly Hills, La La Land, the talk of what anyone would wear. Do you go in costume? Do you do as Mona May did and dress up as your favourite film stars, a tribute to Virgil Thunderbird, Showgirls, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure and The Hound of The Baskervilles? Is this period costume?
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Others, like Anna Kendrick, Kristen Bell, Anika Noni Rose, Lou Eyrich, Emily Blunt, Minka Kelly, Jessalyn Gilsig, Jayma Mays, Carrie Preston, Nadja Swarovski, Roma Maffia, Parker Posey and Minka Kelly came as actresses walking a red carpet…
Posted: 26th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Alice In Wonderland Premier In Pictures: Johnny Depp’s Mini Melt
TO the premier of Alice In Wonderland, known locally as Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. Before the faces – and – boy- the faces – note that the carpet was not red but green. Avatar has blue. Alice has green. The film industry is being run by Mr Rug’s Odd & Sods on Leyton High Road. The next film gets a paisley swirl in red and ginger. Whatever the carpet, Johnny Depp looks good. This is because (a) he looks good and (b) he is surrounded by an ambulatory waxwork museum in mid-melt:
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Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter and Mia Wasikowska were outdone by
Patti Smith, Sharon Osbourne, Barbara Windsor, Crispin Glover, Lulu Guinness, Richard D Zanuck and Vivienne Westwood.
Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Jason Wood: Funeral, Tributes And A Mystery
JASON Wood has died and the British press is not all that interested. Anorak’s Man in LA reports on the funeral, to which you are invited:
THE public is invited to the funeral for musical impressionist Jason Wood, “the gay British Danny Gans”, who died in his sleep over the weekend at 38.Services will take place Monday, March 15 2pm at St. Mary’s Church, Manor Road, Lower Sundon, Bedfordshire.
There will be a reception afterwards at Kent Athletic Club on Tenby Drive. Wood’s family announced that “all are welcome to attend”. The family asks that flowers be sent to
Meanwhile, there’s still no word as to what killed the entertainer and reality television star in the prime of his life, on the eve of a gig in London.
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Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (4)
Coronation Street: Maggie Jones’ Memorial Service Scene In Pictures
CORONATION Street actress Maggie Jones was the subject of a memorial service at Salford Cathedral. Jones died in December 2009. She remains in the soap, albeit visiting a friend. How long can Maggie keep acting? Tracey Lurve famously went to her bedroom as a quiet, well-adjusted child from a broken home. She emerged some years later as a festering sore, a being turned rotten by having no human contact with anyone except a tobacco-stained woman whose idea of living it oop was squinting at Mike Baldwin’s factory ceiling through ocular club boots. Maggie Jones RIP – wait for your cue…
Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Chenille Steele: ‘Kisses’ Ashley Cole ‘Might Have John Terry’s Baby’
CHENILLE Steel is a glamour girl who claims to know Ashley Cole and John Terry. She sings: “I’ve been spit-roasted, in Grosvenor House, by the boys from Chelsea FC…”
Chenille Steel is the glamour model you wants to confess in song.
You’ve seen the pictures – now enjoy the song:
Cheryl Cole And Ashley’s Marriage; Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged); Vanessa Perroncel (John Terry’s Alleged Lover); Alicia Douvall (NSFW)…
You may think I’m downmarket
Something you’d scrape off your Jimmy Choos
But I’ve been shaggin’ your husband
And it’s in the News of The Screws
I’ve been spit-roasted, in Grosvenor House, by the boys from Chelsea FC
Max Clifford’s on my speed dial in case I have John Terry’s baby…
I’ve kissed and told on Ashley Cole
And I got 20k from The Sun
‘Cos I’m just a glamour girl
Who likes it up the bum
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Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)
Cheryl Tweedy’s ITV Divorce Special, In Private
ASHLEY Cole and Cheryl Tweedy are to divorce, and the media is full of words on what Cheryl meant by issuing a press statement to “respect her privacy”. What does it mean to the country that a national treasure who once assaulted a toilet attendant and a footballer with a pay-as-you-go phone can split?
Is there any hope for the rest of us?
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Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Justin Bieber Plays The Eiffel Tower: Pictures
JUSTIN Bieber is still in Paris. Hark! Hear that? That, Britisher, is the sound of French teenage frenzy. It’s the sound of backpacks, pastel-coloured anoraks and denim. Anorak’s Teen in Paris spotted Justin Bieber performing on the 1st floor of the Eiffel Tower. As anyone who has queued for a ride up the Tower knows, this is no small achievement. In a few days Bieber should make it the second deck…
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Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Nicole Richie Models Her Ashley Cole Tattoo: Pictures
NICOLE Richie launched her ‘Winter Kate’ collection at Le 66 on the Champs Elysees in Paris, France. The clothes were all very clothesy. But then Nicole turned around and showed us her tattoo. No, no, dear reader. The tattoo does not say “Mrs Cole” or “Ashley Woz ‘Ere”, rather it’s formed by two small feathery wings. One imagines these are angel wings but on closer inspection they turn out of be the plumage of the red-breasted sapsucker. Richie’s a shoo-in for celebrity bird watching – so too Ashley Cole… Ashley Cole’s Women (Alleged – NSFW pictures):
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Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
David And Victoria Beckham Driven Into Lake Como Villa By George Clooney’s Paparazzi
GEORGE Clooney is selling his 18th-century Villa Oleandra at Laglio home in Lake Como to escape the paparazzi and the fans eager to see him and his Italian lover Elisabetta Canalis.
So who will buy a place besieged by fame-hungry loons? The Times tells us that David Beckham told team-mates that the villa was “quiet and peaceful, and not far from Milan”.
The Corriere della Sera says the Beckham – Day-vid and Vicky – want to buy it. As the headline will tell us:
David and Victoria Beckham driven into Lake Como villa by paparazzi.
Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)
Dr Who Enthusaist Buys Billie Piper’s Worn Pyjamas For £2000
THE Dr Who auction at Bonhams featured master of the gavel, auctioneer John Baddeley, flogging two pairs of Billie Piper’s pyjamas for £1000 each (pictures NSFW). The nightwear as worn on the show, and is not Piper method acting her roler as Belle de Jour, the tart with a pen of gold. Jason Joiner bought the jim-jams. Says he: “I bought her pyjamas because I wanted clothing from each main character. I won’t be wearing them!” No, save them for someone special…
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Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Susan Boyle To Deliver Queen’s Speech
SUSAN Boyle is the Queen. The story goes that last week, Boyle was journeying from Paris into London with Andy Stephens – feel the love – when she passed by bowing Eurostar staff.
As we know, all Eurostar staff are made to bow to all British travellers, it being the default position, a pre-emptive apology for delays, snow and the buffet.
An “onlooker” at the Gare du Nord station tells the world:
“A rumour went round that the queen had arrived to catch a train back so everyone was told to observe royal etiquette.”
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Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
West Ham Mascot To Present Next Year’s Brits Awards
JAMES Corden is the tabloids’ wannabe. He is the star of Situations Vancant. Only the other day, Corden was watching Peter Kay call Liam Gallagher a “knobhead” at the Brits and saying that:
“After watching Peter Kay I’m sure I could do better. Bring it on! Peter was good but he could have been even more enthusiastic.”
Corden is a comedy actor who went on to perform in a TV comedy sketch show with his Gavin And Stacey co-star Matthew Horne. They provided conclusive evidence that comedy without a good script and jokes is something else.
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Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Muse, Kasabian And Lily Allen Get The Finger At The NME Awards: In Pictures
THE NME Awards are better than the Brits because they offer the winners, like Muse and The Specials, Lily Allen, Rage Against The Machine, Lady Gaga, Kasbabian and JLS (worse band) the chance to do something adolescent with the award – a big shiny raised middle finger. Do you present it as it is, hold is in front of your crotch, stick it on your head, shove the finger into your mouth..? Here are some ideas, in pictures:
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Pictures of Muse’s, Dominic Howard (left) and Matt Bellamy of Muse, Ellie Jackson of La Roux, Lily Allen, Bad Lieutenant, Agyness Deyn, Sarah-Jane Crawford, Akiko Matsuura, Milo Cordell, Robbie Furze and Leopold Ross of The Big Pink, Nick O’Malley, Matt Helders, The Arctic Monkeys, Ellie Goulding, Nat and Leah Weller, Kaya Scodelario, Elliott Tittensor, Pam Hogg, Bobby Gillespie, Noel Fielding, Julian Barratt, Henry Holland, Courtney Love, Terry Hall, Neville Staple, Roddy ‘Radiation’ Byers, Lynval Golding and John Bradbury of The Specials, Serge Pizzorno, Ke$ha, Kasabian, Shane MacGowan, The Mighty Boosh, Leigh Francis, The Drums, The Horrors, Blur, Jarvis Cocker, Biffy Clyro, Courtney Love, Slash and Mathew Horne…
Posted: 25th, February 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (5)