Celebrities Category
Celebrity news & gossip from the world’s showbiz and glamour magazines (OK!, Hello, National Enquirer and more). We read them so you don’t have to, picking the best bits from the showbiz world’s maw and spitting it back at them. Expect lots of sarcasm.
Celebrity Big Brother: Vinnie Jones MP And Alex Reid’s ‘Bitch’ Katie Price
CELEBRITY Big Brother: The Daily Star delivers the front-page news – and it is tale of wonder:
BIG BRO STARS ATTACK ‘BITCH’ JORDAN
Stars? Reading on:
Alex Reid has been told to dump Jordan if he wants to salvage a showbiz career.
Salvage?
Celebrity Big Brother: Alex Reid’s Top Five Quotes
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Posted: 14th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
In Pictures: All The Celebrity Liggers At Legally Blonde: The Musical
WEDNESDAY night meant the gala night for Legally Blonde: The Musical, at the Savoy Theatre in central London. Which celebrity liggers were also there? They were: Tara Palmer Tomkinson, Kathryn Drysdale, Verity Rushworth, Adele Silva, Summer Strallen, Kim Medcalf, Zoe Salmon, Graham Norton, Stacey Solomon, Denise Van Outen, Bob Geldof, Lucie Jones, Claire Sweeney, Imogen Lloyd Webber, Kristin Scott Thomas and Caprice. Pictures:
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Posted: 14th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Mahiki Club Re-Opening, With X Factor’s Archer And Jones, A Pair Of The Saturdays And Cheryl Cole’s Mum
THE re-opening of London’s Mahiki night club was a grand affair, featuring such starry stars as Mollie King and Frankie Sandford from girl group The Saturdays, Cleo Roccos, Cheryl Cole’s mum, Joan Callaghan, Amelle Berrabah and Jade Ewen from girl group Sugababes, X Factor’s Lucie Jones and her co-star Jamie Archer showing the world and all the camera crews that no matter the talent and the looks fame is a chick magnet like no other…
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Posted: 14th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Rihanna Naked And Arty For W Magazine: In Pictures
RIHANNA is, like Tila Tequila (NSFW), a one-woman content factory. She does the music. She does the words. And she does her own pap shots. This is how it is for celebrities in a never ending news cycle where 15 minutes of fame is the industry standard. You need to feed the machine. So here’s Rihanna is typical naked pose, this time for W. It’s black and white (tabloid for ‘arty’) and in the best possible taste:
Posted: 14th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Casey Johnson and Brittany Murphy: Dr Drew’s ‘Potentially Exploitation In Denial’
CELEBRITIES are dying – but they are not dying fast enough top satisfy a voracious news media. Brittany Murphy and Casey Johnson are already dead. The tabloids want Lindsay Lohan dead. It’s just sick.
So, here’s Dr Drew Pinsky, pro carer and producer and host of the VH1 show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. Dr Drew thinks it’s so bad that the media talks on and on about celebrity death. Here he is on the telly talking about how awful it all is to go about dead celebs.
Don’t forget to catch his show:
spotter: Deceiver
Posted: 14th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
American Idol: Victoria Beckham Fails Her Audition
AMERICAN Idol’s judging panel was once more set than Katie Price in a training bra. Then kook Paula Abdul gibbered off, Ellen Degeneres strolled in, Simon Cowell pulled out, Kara DioGuardi remained and Randy Jackson continued to call everyone “dog” and tell them that they “worked it out”.
But in episode one of the enw season, something odd happened: Victoria Beckham appeared. Vicky’s job was simple: make whoever followed her look good (Ellen Degeneres), bang on about what a dry sense of humour she has (break out the KY) and see if anyone licks her head. Or if anyone notices that Vicky’s singular talent is to be pushy. Ok, two talents – she’s married to David Beckham.
America watched Sticky Vicky. And America judged:
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Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Celebrity Big Brother: Alex Reid’s Top Five Quotes
THE top five Alex Reid Quotes of Celebrity Big Brother 2010 (in no particular order of bollocks):
* “Fame is not something I crave” – Alex Reid
* “You know what I like about you? You’re not stupid” – Stephen Baldwin to Alex Reid
* “I find the bible fascinating” – Alex Reid
* “I’m on TV most nights. On smaller channel” – Alex Reid
* “In the summer in the press, the two big stories were Michael Jackson dying and Kate and Peter splitting and me” – Alex Reid
Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Cheryl Cole Soaps Up For ‘Sick’ Ashley Cole
CHERYL Cole would like Glamour readers to know that when she gets home of a night Ashley Cole is not sick on her or putting in for a transfer. In fact, he’s a real gent, a maid man:
“Last night, he ran me a bath, made me a cup of tea, and got my razor and shaving foam for me. He’s just ace.”
It’s a tableau of domestic bliss, a pastel-hued dream sequence from a biopic into Cheryl’s life. And as Ashley holds up his wedding suit for Cheryl to shave in, we read more about new man Ashley Cole:
“The other day was the first time Ashley actually broke down to me about it all.”
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Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (18)
The Tabloids Want Lindsay Lohan Dead, Although Paris Hilton Or Britney Spears Would Do
IN this week’s National Enquirer, readers are invited to play a game: “WHO’LL DIE NEXT!” Brian Reade can join in. Will it be Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears or – hey – why not make your own suggestion? Set your Celebrity Death Text Alert App. to “Stand By” and read on:
To narrow the field, the magazine reminds gamers that Brittany Murphy and Casey Johnson are already dead. This leaves a reduced death pool. The Enquirer adds further help by listing the possible causes of death:
Paris Hilton – “Hard Partying”
Mischa Barton – “Rehab hell”
Eminem – “Fighting addiction”
Britney Spears – “New meltdown”
Hmmmm… Who to vote for? The biggest picture, however, is of Lindsay Lohan. Fear is that she “weeps” to death.
Inside the magazine, and DJ AM Adam Goldstein remains dead. But things are not getting easier, guessers. The fame drain is enlarged to take in some more youngsters who remain stubbornly alive:
Tara Reid – “Troubled”
Amy Winehouse – “Fighting”
Kirsten Dunst – “Depression”
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Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Alex Reid Beats Katie Price
CELEBRITY Big Brother: AFTER the sex and the non-sex and the SEX, the Daily Star brings news of a Celebrity Big Brother betting fix. There is always a betting fix on Big Brother.
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
This year’s fix is that Alex Reid, Mr Toffee Crisp, is no longer 70-1 to win the show but a mere 15-1. That’s right, Reid is 15-1 to win the show that features 12 contestants. The news is that Reid is becoming popular – perhaps as popular as Katie Price.
Jonas Altberg – DJ Basshunter Orgy (NSFW)
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Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Introducing Darren: Not The New Susan Boyle
DARREN, the Anglo-Nubian goat, will not be the next Susan Boyle. Darren will not appear on Britain’s Got Talent. Darren’s handlers are of the mind that his performing before sarky Simon Cowell, inflated Piers Morgan and eyebrow wrangler Amanda Holden could be bad for his health. Darren will not climb a fence and wave his left hoof in a professional capacity.
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Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
What Really Hurt Shlock DJ Artie Lang: Shock Video
RADIO shlock Artie Lang has stabbed himself. Howards Stern’s Shlock DJ is not in good shape. Anorak’s Man in LA looks at the ruination of a fool:
THERE’S been no word on the condition or whereabouts of obese, slovenly, alcoholic, heroin- and cocaine-addict comic Artie Lange since he was released from the hospital last week after attempting suicide with nine stabs of a 13-inch Wolfgang Puck kitchen knife.
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Posted: 13th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comments (2)
Celebity Big Brother: Danny Dyer Misses Out To Vinnie Jones
DANNY Dyer – star of films about soccer hard men and All Star Mr & Mrs – tells Zoo magazine readers that “Vinnie Jones must have had a huge tax bill. He’s sitting in a house with a bird who slept with Ronnie Wood and an idiot who’s rumping Jordan, so that’s the only reason he can be there.”
Katie Price’s Career As Jordan (NSFW)
If there one thing sadder than a celeb writing about Big Brother it is the celeb not even being on Big Brother and speaking in 1950s Cockney English.
“He’s a cut above the others in fame terms. Mind you, that’s not hard. You could put the Chuckle Brothers in and they’d be a cut above everyone else.”
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Posted: 12th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
‘Down To Earth’ Mel B Shows Us Her Mansion And Possessions
THAT’S former Spice Girl Mel B sat beside a swimming pool and Jacuzzi combo in Hello!.
That’s Mel B, she of the “beautiful daughters, handsome film producer husband”, “six-bedroom, eight-bathroom (?) mansion”, Spyker C8 Laviolette car, Cadillac Escalade, Bentley, Range Rover, movie theatre, house in Egypt, a lounge that boasts every shade of brown, hand-carved bed, collection of “lots” of Andy Warhol and a Damien Hirst panting, cleaner, “spacious” gym and vistas.
This is “down-to-earth” Mel B.
Hannah Waterman’s Weight Gain DVD: Shedding The Dead Weight Husband, In Pictures
WHEN Hannah Waterman left EastEnders, we feared that we’d only see her on Father & Daughters reality TV series Daddy Pwease, in which she and dad Dennis Waterman battle it out with other dads and daughters to see which dad can give his daughter the biggest bunk up and which daughter can scream until she is sick. (Kelly Osbourne stars.)
This might be why Hannah embarked on a slimming regime that has seen her change from being a likeable, full-figured actress to a drawn, bone-faced flogger of post Fat-Mass celebrity fitness DVDs.
The cover of the DVD is fabulous, featuring a chubby Waterman grimacing, her head turned towards the new hard-bodied Waterman. It looks as though this is a “Keep Fat” DVD and the chubby Waterman will teach your how to keep the weight on and not turn into a sinewy horror.
But Hannah’s work-out was not the only way she lost weight – she shed loadsa bulk when she ditched her husband, EastEnders’ lovable loser Ricky Groves.
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Posted: 12th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Dermot O’Leary Presents The X Factor Election On BBC3
DERMOT O’Leary – presenter of the X Factor, literally – is looking to front an election special on BBC3. And signs are that O’Leary might have adopted a deft touch in irony:
“Politics is a huge obsession. I’m incredibly excited but it won’t be particularly serious. I won’t be the man with the swingometer.”
File under: beyond irony.
Posted: 12th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Tila Tequila Says She Knows Who ‘Killed’ Casey Johnson
CASEY Johnson is dead. Her death not only gave us the first Twitter Coma but introduced one woman content factory Tila Tequila to the great unwashed. It also pricked our memories of Simon Cowell’s old associate and reality telly fodder Jasmine Lennard.
Tila was scheduled to appear on Larry King Live. but before doing so, Lennard issued a legal letter warning the show against Tila using it “as a platform to make further false and defamatory allegations” about her.
The lawyer says, among other things, Tila better not allege Jasmine has a criminal record or outstanding warrant, that Jasmine broke into Tila’s home, that Jasmine is a prostitute, and that Jasmine is pregnant or has ever been pregnant.
By coincidence, the interview is scrapped.
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Posted: 12th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Lady GaGa In Madonna Swearing Shocker
MORE evidence that Lady GaGa is Madonna’s Camel – an amalgam of all Madge’s tricks and spits formed by committee.
Remember when Madonna asked the Live 8 crowd: “Are you f***ing ready, London?” Hundreds complained.
Incidentally, that concert for care was also illuminated by Snoop Dogg, extolling the mob to “Wave your motherfucking hands in the air – wave the motherfuckers like you just don’t care.”
Anyhow, here’s Lady Gaga doing the swearing popstar thing, telling the audience at Live: Isle of MTV:
“Put your hand up in the air and dance, you motherfuckers.”
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Posted: 12th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Gordon Ramsay’s Alleged Mistress Sarah Symonds Pitches ‘Mistresses Of The Rich & Famous’ TV Show
WHAT links Tiger Woods, to Gordon Ramsay (allegedly)? Why, a TV show featuring women who claims to have shagged one of them in an extra-maritial capacity.
Re-introducing Sarah Symonds, she who survived a year-long relationship with Jeffery Archer, penned Having An Affair? A Handbook For The Other Woman, which advises “get out of it, or if not, get the most out of it”, and “never date a poor married man”.
Anorak’s Man in LA looks on:
If you thought Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin’s idea for a reality show called “The Divorced Dads Club” was bad, wait’ll you hear this one.
A woman who’s well known for being the other woman, allegedly, is pitching a show about former mistresses of the rich & famous.
Her name’s Sarah Symonds and she claims to have been giving celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay lots of services on the side for at least seven years. (He denies all allegations.)
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Posted: 12th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment (1)
Celebrity Big Brother: Ivanova’s Sex Games, Hannah Kamelmacher And Ronnie Wood Dream Dates Heather Mills
CELEBRITY Big Brother: Katia Ivanova is on a “SEX PLOT TO WIN”. The Daily Star leads with an “Exclusive” review of the telly show, telling readers that “two-timing” Katia Ivanova faces a “hate mob if she is axed because of her cruel sex antics”.
Pictures of Jonas Altberg’s orgy here
The story goes that Katia has “dumped” someone called Dan Turner so she can fondle Scandinavian fish fancier Basshunter “in a ploy to become more popular” and give us the tabloid couple Bass-Inova. It’s what the Star terms a “bizarre ‘one out, one in’ sex game”.
Only:
But last night fans saw her dump the hunky musician after she claimed he had got “too clingy”. He was close to tears and said: “I feel like a kid who got loads of sweets and then had them taken away.”
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Posted: 12th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Suri Cruise Creates New Brother From Car Parts
SURI Cruise has taken delivery of a replica of an Indy race car worth $30,000. Yep, we thought that too: how’s she gonna drive in it those heels?
A source tells all news media:
“Suri has been mesmerized by auto racing on TV so he thought it would be fun for her to have her own little car to ride in.”
Suri also likes programmes about the moon, the film Independence Day and a documentary she once saw on France.
“If Suri truly takes to the sport, Tom plans on having a little race track installed at his L.A. property. But for now she’ll just be going up and down the family’s long driveway.”
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Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Alex Reid’s Ferrero Rocher Moments Without Katie Price
CELEBRITY Big Brother’s walking Toffee Crisp Mr Alex Reid has proved the doubters wrong: he can talk and he can walk. In Big Brother, his talking is much like his walking: trapped in a three-room maze of thought and pointless repetition. But Alex’s mum is talking. And she says:
“I tried to talk him out of it. But that’s what he wanted to be when he was just 14. It’s a shame. He used to be such a good-looking man. His nose and ears are dreadful now.”
No, not. Reid’s adolescent ambition was not to date Katie Price. She’s not responsible for his nose and ears – yet.
“And he’s too gentle to be a fighter, really. That’s one of his problems in the ring. He still gets upset when he knocks someone down.”
He dares to care. But how’s he going to do in big Brother, mummy?
“He won’t stay in until the end. We just hope he stays in long enough for people to see the real him. As long as he doesn’t say anything too stupid he should be okay. He can’t fight forever. He needs a career.”
The inference seems to be that Alex Reid’s carer will him being the “real him”. There will be imposters and impressionists but there can only be one Alex Reid. What role the real Alex Reid will perform for money is moot points, but we’d suggest that he’d make a terrific novelty hat stand and should the ambassador tire to Ferrero Rocher’s vomit balls, he could play the butler dishing out the Toffee Crisps to distinguished others.
Either that or edit the Daily Star…
Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Channel 4 Advertises For Willing Knife Crime Murder Victim
ARE you dying? Do you have nothing to lose apart from the last remaining shred of dignity the hospital treatment affords you? Well, Fulcrum TV want you for a new telly show. You will be knifed to death in an East London kebab shop to show the viewers just how terrible it is. Or you might be allowed to die in some other imaginative way.
However you die, you can be filmed to be filmed in the run-up to your death for your entertainment. It’s a little bit of Switzerland we can all enjoy. Mumbling about Jade Goody or saying it’s what she would have wanted are not vital but may add an edge to your death. Here’s the advert:
“We are currently keen to talk to someone who, faced with the knowledge of their own terminal illness and all that it entails, would nonetheless consider undergoing the process of ancient Egyptian embalming.”
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Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Popstar To Operastar: Knives, Myleene Klass, Marsh, Sodomy And Meatloaf
POPSTAR To Operastar is the telly whos that will feature not only Katherine Jenkins giving full chest to an aria in a low-cut dress, but also Kym Marsh little Jimmy Osmond, Marcella Detroit, Bernie Nolan, Danny Jones (McFly) and Vanessa White. We were at the press launch, staged at the Sarastro eatery on Drury lane, London, where diners wash their hands before cartoons of people being sodomised and wonder if the artist works in the kitchens and is right now fingering your food? They also get to wonder if the ubiquitous Myleene Klass is going to use her knife to make her co-singers instant stars of 10 Years Younger, the scalpel-led face rearrangement show?
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Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities | Comment
Celebrity Big Brother: Katia Ivanova’s Old Man Sex Orgy In Pictures
CELEBRITY Big Brother offers you the chance to vote out Heidi Fleiss, Katia Ivanova or Lady Sovereign.
Katia has been flirting with fish fancier Basshunter, aka Scandinavian DJ Jonas Altberg (pictures of his orgy here). If Katie goes then we might never get the headline Bass-Inova, and that would be a shame.
Ekaterina Ivanova And Ronnie Wood: A Romance In Pictures
And news of Katie in the Sun promises much. In “BB STAR’S ROMP WITH HOOKERS”, we read of four-in-a-bed romp with two hookers and an ageing tycoon.”
The ex-lover of Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood jumped into bed with two other girls who were both paid £500 each for the sex session. Former vice girl Ellie Hughes last night told how sexy Katia – who took no cash – joined in the foursome for fun months before she met wrinkly rocker Ronnie, 62. And the man the three beauties bedded was also a millionaire in his 60s.
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Posted: 11th, January 2010 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
